- Member Since 9th Jul, 2014
- offline last seen 10 hours ago
Phoenix Heart 27
"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day."- Vincent Van Gogh
Phoenix Heart 27
Joined 9th Jul, 2014 ·
Offline
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It's a nice story, all things considered. You can use language nicely, though there are a lot of mechanical errors. For example, when ending a dialogue tag, if you have "said so-and-so" after the end of the dialogue, you want a comma, rather than a period. I think these things can be fixed by simply reading and paying attention, though, so I won't trawl out a laundry list of typos.
Keep at it.
6952123 Thank you for the feedback! Things like these help me Improve as a writer.
Nice heartwarming story, you really know how to write these characters
Noticed a few repetitive troubles with flow and direct speech, I will link you exact examples later in a PM.
7772957 Thank you.
Yay art! I love art! I’ll read this later!
8499620
Sweet. Feel free to read it whenever ya want.
Is it prench or french?
I must say I enjoyed this story.
8501000
prench. (kinda had to think on the spot there.)
Wow
9436261
Is that a good "wow" or a bad "wow"?
9436368
Good
10239397
Awful late, but thanks.