Remedial Applied Essay

by DerpyStarlet

A Lesson In Grace

A Lesson in Grace
By: Spitfire who attended a private school in Cloudsdale

There’s no thrill quite like that of flying, especially that of flying fast. Racing seems to be the perfect place for such an activity, but it requires more than speed. A fact I became painfully aware of in my formative years, but it was a fact I’m thankful I learned when I did.

As all young mares eager to make something of themselves, usually a fool, I was very eager to show ponies what I was really made of. I was fast, really fast. Fastest flier at my private flight academy, a title I was eager to expand the range on. Races in Cloudsdale were held often, seeing as the prestige of the races brought out all the best fliers. Sometimes the Princess herself even attended some, nothing boosts attendance to an event like royal interest.

Being the cocky mare I was, I felt extremely confident about the competition. I had entered and had been training hard to make sure I was ready for the competition. It wasn't the best young fliers competition, but a straight up race. As such, I only trained for the sheer speed I would need to win.

As the date of the competition came closer I felt readier than ever, after all I was finally going to show the princesses themselves my mettle. I was the fastest there, and everyone knew it. That wasn't just me being cocky, I had flown against most ponies there. Within Cloudsdale I held a special sort of local fame.

Of course, if it was an easy win I would never have learned my lesson. There was one pony I had never seen before, a pegasus from Canterlot. She was gorgeous, suffice to say that my younger self sorely underestimated her. Like most other gorgeous ponies, I assumed she was a prissy Canterlot pony like all the others. Was I wrong.

When the race finally started she seemed to be doing better than I had expected, quickly taking second place behind me. However, as I expected she was slower than I was. One thing to mention about a Cloudsdale race is that the tracks are always complicated, with enough turns and loops to give anyone a hard time. As I took my first turn of many I found myself faced with a frightening problem. The Canterlot pony had gotten closer after the turn.

Every turn I would bank hard, sacrificing speed for maneuverability. The Pegasus pony got closer and closer, until she passed me. I was angry, but I was determined. As the next turn came up I saw what she had done that had allowed her to pass me. She gracefully turned every corner, barely losing any speed at the turns, where I had been losing too much speed at each turn. It was too late though, I was faster, but she was smoother. Even with my speed I couldn't pass her before the finish line.

That failure was a strong hit to my pride, but I took it in stride. I took a page from her book and handled the loss with grace. A race isn't always about who's the fastest, but who's the most graceful. Looking at the princess, you think it would be obvious.

~

Analysis

Spitfire touches upon a major point of learning in her life, which happens to be a failure. Sometimes our failures shape us more than our accomplishments, which is a nice approach to the moral. The moral showing fruition in her choice of topic. The essay does an adequate job in showing the change from adolescence into adulthood as well. Showing the maturity without sacrificing her roots.

The vocabulary could be broader, but is acceptably minimal. It’s easy to get lost in the dynamics of how racing may work, and a simplistic approach is one that any pony can understand. This does present the approach to audience. Spitfire writes in such a way that not only is everypony her audience, but with expectations that everyone should be.

The essay itself was written in such a way that's believably Spitfire. It talks about flying realistically and intimately. As well as talking about speed in a shameless and acceptably boisterous tone, all without getting lost in arrogance. All around, there could have been more elaboration upon the Canterlot Pegasus, or on the race. However, the general vague nature offers a somewhat more broad lesson than any specific race or Pegasus could have. Spitfires essay is one not many may be able to relate to but it is nevertheless an important one.

- Twilight Sparkle

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