Morphogenetic Impregnation
Morphogenetic Impregnation
A Story by HoovesLikeJagger
"Now, you two are absolutely sure about this?" Rarity asked for the umpteenth time.
"Yes, Rarity. Lyra and Bon Bon highly recommended this pony, so I trust their judgement," Twilight assured her.
"I don't know, Twilight." Rarity continued to fret. "Seeing a stallion who lives all the way out here in the Everfree Forest about making a foal seems... sketchy."
"That's why we're here!" Rainbow Dash swooped down, causing Rarity to jump away and bump right into Applejack. "If anypony tries to do anything funny to Applejack or Twilight, we'll have their backs!"
"An' the Apple Family 'as never known a childless marriage, so ah've gotta believe this'll work." Applejack shoved Rarity back.
"Not to be nit-picky, but has the Apple Family ever known a same-sex marriage?" the jostled pony asked.
"No, but that ain't the point," Applejack retorted.
"Uhm... excuse me, but I think we're here." Fluttershy stopped and indicated to her friends the clearing the group was now entering. Sitting on a rock positioned right outside a modest, log cabin sat an ancient unicorn. The grey maned stallion's green eyes opened as the group of six ponies, struck speechless by the tranquility of the scene, approached him.
"Hi there, I'm Pinkie Pie!" the eccentric, pink pony blurted, destroying the serenity of the previous moment. The other five grimaced and looked up at the unicorn apologetically. All tensions were erased as a serene smile slid across the stallion's wrinkled face. Applejack took a deep breath as she stepped up to the aged pony with Twilight.
"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle. My partner and I heard you could help us have a child," Twilight addressed the ancient pony. He lifted a hoof to silence her, still smiling kindly.
"Thpeak not a thententhe more. If you dethire a bebe, I would be tho, tho very happy bethtow one on you." The ancient pony's words put a wide smile on both Applejack and Twilight's face. "Jutht tell me which of you wantth the bebe inthide you."
"Ah guess that's me." Applejack stepped up. "Before we do this, could ya'll explain how this werks? Ah'm a bit nervous."
"Oh, but of courthe thweet child." The old pony looked down at her warmly, making Applejack feel very sure about his abilities. "I thtretch my magic acroth thpace, then I take a piethe of the firtht pony, then I take a piethe of the thecond pony, and that maketh the bebe. After that, I put the bebe inthide one of the two ponieth."
"Sounds difficult," Twilight noted, familiar with the intricacy of the magic he was purposing to perform. She had looked into it herself, but the spells required to produce the miracle of life were tough to crack. It was a delicate and complex process that dealt with incredibly tiny targets. If the caster's concentration wasn't in the upper echelon, the spell would result in failure.
"The thpell taketh many yearth to mathter, but I athure you it ith within my abilityth. Onthe you are prepared, I shall put the bebe inthide you."
"Will it take long?" Applejack asked.
"Oh no. In mere thecondth the bebe will be inthide you."
"Alright then... whenever yer ready." Applejack exchanged one loving glance with Twilight before closing her eyes, bracing herself for the old pony's magic. Twilight took a deep breath, trying to quell the butterflies in her own stomach. Pinkie Pie jumped up and down eagerly as Rarity and Fluttershy bit their lips. Rainbow Dash fidgeted a little. All the waiting was making her feel antsy.
The old unicorn closed his eyes. He pointed his horn skyward as it lit up with a soft, orange glow. After a few moments of silence, his horn returned to normal and he bowed his head. Without opening his eyes, he smiled and addressed the couple.
"It ith done. I have put the bebe inthide you," the old pony whispered as if he were in a dream. Applejack's eyes shot open and she inspected herself.
"Really? I shore don't feel any dif'rent."
"Of course not Applejack," Twilight giggled. "You'll have to wait until it grows bigger before you notice anything."
"The purple one ith right," the old pony added, opening his eyes and looked down at Applejack. "But I athure you, I put the bebe thafely inthide your partner."
"What?"
"I thaid I put the bebe inthide your partner!" the old pony shouted.
"In me?" Twilight asked, all eyes quickly falling upon her.
"Yeth, I have done thith thing for you." The old pony smiled and nodded.
"Hold on a second!" Rainbow Dash took to her wings and got to eye level with the old pony, leering right at him. "You were supposed to get Applejack pregnant, not Twilight!"
"Oh... ith that tho?" The old pony's expression sank.
"Well... I guess I'm okay with that," Twilight admitted.
"Yeah, I guess it ain't a big deal. As long as it's our foal, ah'm happy with it," Applejack seconded.
"Oh no!" Rainbow Dash stuck her nose into the old pony's face. "You messed up, so how do you plan on making things right?"
"Rainbow Dash, it isn't a big deal. Just let it go," Twilight reasoned with her.
"C'mon Rainbow, let's just go back." Applejack grabbed Rainbow Dash by the tail and began to pull her, but Rainbow Dash broke free and flew over to the old pony again.
"No! We're not leaving until he fixes this," Rainbow Dash insisted.
"You heard them darling, it's not a big deal. Just thank the nice pony and let's be on our way," Rarity insisted.
"No, no, no. It ith perfectly okay. I can do what the blue one athkth of me." The words of the old unicorn calmed everpony down. He raised his glowing horn skyward again. After the spell was cast, he smiled and looked at Rainbow Dash.
"There, I have put the orange one'th bebe inthide you."
"What?!" Rainbow Dash screamed.
"I thaid I put the orange one'th bebe inthide you!" the ancient pony yelled.
"Now hold on there mister!" Applejack marched up to the rock where the pony sat and a very stunned Rainbow Dash was now laying with her hooves in the air. "Now you really went an' messed things up!"
"I don't thee how I methed anything up." The old pony shrugged.
"Girls," Rarity stepped between everypony and the old pony, "I think we should get out of here before he makes anypony else pregnant... namely me..."
"Oh, now I thee!" the old pony exclaimed. "The white one wisheth not for a bebe inthide her. Thith, I can do!" Everypony looked on in horror as the old pony cast his spell again.
"Oh Celestia no!" Rarity panicked. "My figure can't afford a foal!"
"Oh, I did not put the bebe inthide you," the old pony corrected her. "I have put your bebe inthide the yellow one." All eyes were on Fluttershy, whose face was completey drained of color.
"Yay!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "Do me next!"
"Pinkie, no!" Twilight warned, but it was in vain. Nopony could stop the old man as he cast his spell once more.
"I have put your bebe inthide the yellow one ath well." The old pony smiled as warmly as ever. Fluttershy looked like she was about to faint. Rarity quickly went and supported her, figuring she'd better take some responsibility for the mother of her child.
"Uhm, that isn't quite what I meant." Pinkie hopped over to the old pony and looked up at him.
"Oh, I thee." The old unicorn nodded and promptly cast his spell again.
"Pinkie Pie, stop encouraging him!" Twilight scolded.
"It ith done," the old pony spoke as he opened his eyes and looked down at Pinkie. "I have put the bebe inthide the white one."
"What? Noooo~!" Rarity shrieked so loud that nopony heard the old pony reiterate what he'd just said.
"Alright, that's enough!" Applejack climbed up the rock and confronted the old pony. "Y'all better have a way to fix things!" The old pony gave no verbal response, but Applejack watched as his horn glowed again. "Now what've you done?"
"I put your bebe inthide the yellow one."
"For Pete's sake!" Applejack yelled.
"AJ, calm down," Twilight pleaded as she joined the her on the rock. "We're not going to get anywhere by yelling at him." Applejack took a deep breath in and relaxed a bit, despite the chaos unraveling behind her. Rarity and Fluttershy were leaning against one another for support. Fluttershy looked dismally resigned to her fate, but Rarity was still cringing in denial. Rainbow Dash hadn't moved from her position the ground. Pinkie Pie was standing behind Twilight and Applejack, tapping her hoof impatiently.
"Look mister," Applejack reasoned with the old pony, "Our friends didn't ask for this, so can you please fix things?" The old pony wore a solemn expression that convinced Applejack and Twilight that he understood. He closed his eyes and pointed his horn skyward. His horn lit up brighter than it had before. His face contorted under the weight of the spell, but soon his horn dimmed and his expression turned to normal. He let out a breath he'd been holding in.
"I have put bebeth of the blue and white one inthide you, purple pony."
"Let go of me Applejack! I'm going to kill him!" Applejack did her best to restrain Twilight, her eyes filled with crazed murder.
"Calm down Twi! Remember what you said? 'We're not gonna git anywhere by yellin', right?"
"I'm not going to yell at him," Twilight yelled. "I'm going to tear his horn off so he can plague us no more!"
"Don't talk like that Twi, you don't mean it! Yer jus' angry!" Applejack continued to pull Twilight away from the old pony.
"Yeth, do not thpeak of violenthe thith day, for it ith a gloriuth day filled with bebeth!" the old pony assured her. Applejack managed to remove Twilight from the rock, allowing Pinkie Pie to approach the ancient unicorn.
"Alright, I'm ready!" She puffed out her chest. The old pony shrugged and cast his spell.
"I have put the bebe of the orange one inthide you," he explained. Pinkie just bounced off the rock and giggled. Below the rock, utter chaos was unfolding. Twilight was screaming at the old pony, Applejack was screaming at Twilight, Rarity was sobbing uncontrollably, and Pinkie was squealing and giggling as she bounced around the scene. Rainbow Dash still hadn't moved a muscle.
Fluttershy momentarily looked up from the scene and at the old pony. The two made eye contact. He stared at her as his horn glowed softly for a moment. After he was done, he winked at her.
"Grandpa? Oh no!" Another stallion emerged from the cabin, quickly jumping onto the rock with the pony he'd called grandpa.
"Oh, hello grandthon. Today is a great day for bebeth!" The old pony gestured to the panicked frenzy unfolding before him. The grandson scrunched up his face and looked over the crowd. He heaved a sigh before turning to address them.
"None of you are pregnant," he spoke. The chaos ceased immediately.
"We... we're not?" Twilight asked.
"No," the younger stallion grunted. "If you were looking for help bearing a foal, you want my father. My grandpa hasn't been able to successfully cast the spell for years." A wave of relief washed over the six mares.
"Yeah, I knew that," Rainbow Dash mumbled as she sprung back onto her hooves. Rarity and Fluttershy began sobbing in relief. Applejack and Twilight looked at one another and laughed. The only pony who appeared disappointed was Pinkie Pie.
"Where is your father?" Applejack asked. Even after that fiasco, she wanted to have a foal.
"He went to Hoofington on business. He'll be back in a week, so feel free to return at that time." With that, he saw the six mares off. Each of them were now light-heatedly joking about what it would have been like if the experience had been real. Once they were gone, the grandson trudged over to where his grandfather was silently meditating again.
"C'mon grandpa, we gotta pack our things and meet up with dad in Hoofington," he roused the old pony. Before opening his eyes, the unicorn's horn glowed momentarily.
"Grandpa!"
"I put your bebe inthide the yellow one."
"Dangit Grandpa! Dad doesn't want to have to keep moving like this!"
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I was listening to my wubs pretty loud during this and that usually puts me in a good mood but I have to ask.
Dafuq did I just read?
That fifteen minutes of my life I gave up for this story? Keep them. You have earned my valuable, valuable time, because that shit was hi-fucking-larious
I laughed, and that makes this Magician very happy indeed! You, sir, have pleased my eyeholes!
All of my money! TAKE IT!
Ten Mustaches for you!
Trolling level: Geriatric.
"Grampy?"
Also,
The only thing left now is to find a way to use "Today is a great day for bebeth!" in everyday conversation.
So much laugh, so much wtf.
I... don't even understand what just happened.
I just might be plain stupid, but what happened at the end?
729968 I think the twist ending was that the kid was lying and the grampa really had made everypony pregnant, and now they'd have to move before any pony found out.
729981 Oh... oh dear...
What the...
I laughed, but what is this?
Oi...
729999
What he said times a thousand!!
LMAO!
My sides!! They burn!
*ahem* Can someone help me? Ive tried rereading, but I keep losing track of who is havings who's babies, its gets a tad conveluted.
Just how many bundles of joy are we expecting?
I think Flutters is stuck having triplets...XD
LOL!
I can see this acted out as a skit at a Con or something...
"I put the bebe ithide the yellow one!"
i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm312/noneforall2/mlp%20related/pleasesme.png
What.
the.
I have nothing to add to this conversation. It was hilarious!
Today is a great day for bebeth!
More pregnancy stories. I'll have to check it out.
okay,read it
If was funny... though difficult to read aloud as I did, with the grandpa's slurred speech and what have you.
I think you carried the joke on a bit too long, but still a good troll ending.
Also: Those unicorns can run, but I don't think that will do them any good.
I... What in the holy name of BUCK did I read and WHERE CAN I GET MORE!!!!!
I give you five Pinkies for epic troll grandpa!
(I think it would be just beyond hilarious if the wink meant "I gave you all of their babies")
I just read that aloud to my friend, and we're close to literally ROFL'ing.
Trixie! What does you Scouter-Spell say about the troll levels?
It's over eight-thousand!
Too bad. Still funny.
WHAT?!
wait, I thought that was supposed to be an 'over nine-thousand' joke?
Not what I was expecting...
I am pleased
729981 YES. JESUS YES. THIS.
This is actually the first story on this site that made me literally cry from laughter
My ribs still hurt, good job.
...I hope there's a spell for abortion in Equestria, because this seems bad. I mean, I don't think Fluttershy can survive quadruplets. I mean, it'll probably literally kill her.
Wow. I as laughing really, really hard during this one. Bravo sir. You have earned this.
.....
well ok then.
My sides! You have split them!
...
The hell?
I really hope that at that moment he moved Fluttershy's "burden" to less occupied mares.
Applejack for example (though this might be a joke on her only the one interested didn't get any).
Otherwise Fluttershy ended up with 4 foals (if not more - if that spell before wink was targeted once again at her).
Anyway I would love to see it continued in some fashion - even in snippets form. One week later, oh god oh god he wasn't joking later, 11+ months later...
943901
What joke? You quoted the true original.
3112201
But the common derp-up is over nine thousand, and it's a useless number anyways.
I'd rather like to see a story about the pregnancy and subsequent hijinks involved leading up to the eventual birth. Any chance of such a thing?
3691575
I'd be lying if I said I've never thought about it.
3692764
You should go for it when you have the time
This one was relatively well received, I'm sure if you made a sequel people would enjoy it!
Oh my god this is too damn funny.
Brilliant work, man.
Bloody brilliant.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3693223
I'd certainly love to see one.
This was absolutely hilarious. I haven't laughed so hard in half a year or so. Thank you.
You, sir, are a genius. Have a mustache.
I am waiting for a sequel. Can I count on one? Pleeaaaase? You can't say no to this!-->
OMG I LAUGHED SO HARD
What did I just read? Well done for I really have no clue what to say. Good job.
I literally crying because I was laughing so much. It was hilarious.
So, let me get this straight, the mane six are indeed pregnant. All are daughters since they a part of the mane six with the grandson's as a possible exception. Applejack is the only one not pregnant and poor Fluttershy is having quadruplets. (Rarity's, Pinkie's (unless he moved it into Rarity), Applejack's and the grandson's)
Also, Twilight has her's and Applejack's and is surrogating for Rainbow's and Rarity's.
I do like to wonder what will happen later.
i approve of this.
i approve of this.
7010859
Maybe but after this:
I wonder if the grandson was just placating the mane 6 so they didn't kill grandpa.