Applejack and Rainbow Dash got drunk and forget what they did the night before. This is what happened the day after.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 5th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen January 14th
Namechanger
Bicken' back and bein' bool 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I'm Jack: writer/editor/stoner.
Namechanger
Joined 5th Oct, 2011 ·
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Hangover: Ponyville without all the other antics.
Rather nice, a few erros such as there when iy should be their
4.5/5
One of the best FiM fics.
39738 I'll get those fixed up... Thanks
39760 Thank you, very much, I try!
I don't usually worry about this ShipFic, I have an even bigger, longer one planned, so if this fails horribly, just wait...
It was a nice read. There were a considerable amount of grammatical errors however. Be sure to remember of "There, their, and they're", as well as "Your, and you're". There is also an instance of "forearm" which should be "foreleg". The scene at the beginning could be described a bit more accurately to let the reader paint a vivid picture in their head, and you might want to mention who is speaking out the dialogue more often.
Plot-wise, I think you did very good though. I loved Rainbow Dash's pride disappearing as embarrassment overtakes her, and the conclusion was great. Each event lead into the next smoothly, making it significantly more entertaining.
So in conclusion, getting a pre-reader or spending some more time proof-reading could make this good fic even better. Great stuff.
39801 I will, thanks a bunch, I will remember it always.
39738 Your second line is irony at its best
Also, I love both these ships, and hope they continue to sail.
39817 Thanks, please rate, it helps a lot!
I Loved it! It's the second time I read it, and I get the same emotions! keep it like that man!
I smell a sequel coming... Oh Fluttershy, what have you done with Twilight?
WHO ELSE BUT FLUTTERSHY?
I'm bucking spazed each time there was a grammer mistake.......which was alot. Don't mean to sound like a jack-flank but seriously!
Grammer mistakes above!
56583 I'm sorry, my editors are a bit lazy, I'll check it again
wow just wow what a horrible way to end a story i wanted to know why she was in fluttershy's bed
59168 You didn't get it?
Its obvious, you are supposed to use your imagination
Its pretty easy to figure out what happened, and I think this was an actually good way to end the epilogue
69227 you mind doing a NON LESBIAN ship-fic? We got so much lesbian here already dude
84187 working on a clopfic soon
dat 3000 words exactly
Fluttershy and twilight
wow and More detail of what went on between those two
Awesome
This was... nice.
Don't get mistaken, I ship AppleDash and I love TwiShy, but there's just grammar errors everywhere, I had to read a line more than two times to understand it...
You'll get a thumb up from me, but I hope you fixed this on your fics after this one.
I liked the story, but I think it shouldn't be labeled comedy.
ALSO LABEL IT SEX OR THIS STORY COULD GET BANNED!