36 - Death, Part 4 of 10
The light of the morning sun peaked through the flap on her tent and stabbed Sparklefly in the eye. Stirring from her slumber, she let out a long yawn. She stood up and began preparing her harness when she heard a scout outside.
"Captain, are you awake?" the voice asked.
"Enter," she replied, which caused another yawn.
"Sir!" the scout walked just inside the tent and they traded salutes.
"Report.”
He gave her a written order, ”Captain Scootaloo asked me to report all is well. There were three attacks in the night, all of which were repelled with great loss to the enemy. She also instructed me to inform you that your presence on the field is not necessary, and that you may remain on leave. That is all, sir!"
He saluted again, which she returned, dismissing him. She read the parchment the scout had delivered, which was a two-day pass from duties. She wasn’t allowed to leave the area, but she wouldn’t have even asked for permission to do so. Taking a look at her harness, Sparklefly tossed it aside and sat back down on her bed.
She couldn't help but wonder whether that scout had been there waiting for her to wake up. That would have been quite a considerate gesture, especially because she would have been in her armor and at the command center before she remembered that she was supposed to be on leave. An uneasy feeling washed over her when she realized that there was nothing to do. Sparklefly couldn't remember the last time that had been the case. It had certainly been while they were hunting for Queen Chrysalis, but that had been weeks before. Back then, it was a common enough occurrence while traveling from one place to another, but it was quite a different situation here.
As she sat, waiting for nothing to happen, she began to feel odd without her combat harness. She’d grown so accustomed to wearing it that it felt strange to go without. Besides that, should the need to retreat from the heights arise, she’d need to be ready at a moment’s notice. She donned her harness and felt much better.
It didn’t take long for Sparklefly to remember the nature of boredom, and she was surprised to discover how magnificent it could be. She was beginning to feel lighter and lighter as the minutes ticked on. She finally decided to write a letter home to help pass the time, but she wasn't really sure what to say in it. The endeavor ended up being a bit more honest than were most of her correspondence with her mother, but she still kept some of the harsher facts of their campaign to herself. It simply would not do to have the family worrying about her and Duster. Bringing it to a close, she thought the day must be wearing on, but was rather dismayed to discover that it wasn't even noon yet. She accepted this with a sigh and sat back down on her cot. She rubbed her eye patch, which had just begun itching when another familiar feeling prompted action. Her belly was speaking to alert her of a need to consume rations. Really, she was glad to have something else to do to help eat up the morning.
She left the quiet of her tent and marched to the officer's mess. As had become her custom, she missed the most-crowded time of the morning and found it relatively empty. She felt rather strange without her armor, but tried to ignore the feeling. With a mouthful of dried oats, she realized that she was hurrying to finish her meal, and she didn't know why. Becoming amused at herself, she stopped eating and began looking around the tent.
The pegasus hadn't previously noticed how haggard it had become. There were holes from wear and use that had formed throughout the fabric of it. Upon closer inspection, some of them had been caused by stray arrows or magic. Several large patches also covered what must have been gaping rips. Sparklefly finished consuming her fare and left the mess tent. It seemed that the sun hadn't moved. Marching back to her tent also didn't take nearly long enough, so she decided to take her letter to the quartermaster to get it on the next mail delivery. She got another report from a scout on the way, which was basically the same as the last report. Several attacks, all repelled.
The day ebbed on at what seemed a standstill. Sparklefly didn't realize that she had slept through the early afternoon until she awoke to find the sun growing low on the horizon. It was the first time since her capture that proper, dreamless sleep had been achieved. She was beginning to feel better than she had in weeks.
"Anypony home?" Scootaloo's voice broke the silence as she stepped into the tent without waiting for a reply.
Sparklefly sat up eagerly, ready for the distraction.
"How's the easy life?" her friend said lightheartedly.
"I feel better, but I had no idea how long a day could seem,” Sparklefly whined.
“Quit complaining you big filly; it's good for you," Scootaloo said. “Wait, your mom doesn't have any sayings for this?"
Sparklefly shrugged, unable to think of one.
“How about that.” Scootaloo flashed a smile and spoke in a coy manner, “I have a surprise for you.”
Tilting her head to one side, Sparklefly could only guess what might be in store, "What is it?"
"You'll see," her friend answered with a fiendish grin.
There was a twinkle in her lavender eyes. That sort of answer was always frustrating, but she knew Scootaloo well enough to not press, as such an attempt would undoubtedly prove utterly feckless.
"Is there any news?"
Scootaloo shrugged, "Just the usual. No sign of changelings, and the timberwolves are still systematically testing our lines. They actually hit us directly from the west today."
"I knew it!" Sparklefly leapt from the cot.
"Relax," Scootaloo said as she gently pushed her back to sitting. "We were ready for them. In fact, I personally dropped a few arrows on them for you."
It was good to have confirmation that she had predicted their move again. Staying ahead of them was the only way any of them would survive. Sparklefly felt herself smiling at her ability to see what would happen next.
"Medic reporting as ordered," a voice said from outside.
Scootaloo grinned and Sparklefly felt her heart sink into a panic. She had recognized the voice instantly. It was R, and his presence materialized anger in the mare. He knew how she felt about their interactions.
"Enter, corporal," Scootaloo said.
The medic entered, and the look on his face showed the same abject terror that Sparklefly had experienced only moments before.
"I, um, er," he stammered, "I was ordered to report here for a medical emergency, I swear!“ he finally squeaked, showing them his medical kit.
"Relax, you made to the right place," Scootaloo assured him.
He didn't look convinced.
"Well, I need some chow," the impish orange pegasus continued, "See you later."
She pushed past the corporal and exited. Sparklefly jumped up in hot pursuit, also shooting by the befuddled medic.
"Wait! What are you doing?"
Scootaloo stopped and turned about.
"Don't shout!” Scootaloo quietly scolded. With a smile, she added, "I'm hungry, besides three's a crowd."
"You can't leave us alone," Sparklefly insisted in a much softer volume.
"Hey, I won't tell if you don't. What's the matter? Don't you trust yourself?"
"Of course I trust myself!”
"Then what's the problem? If anypony asks I'll tell them I called for him to check on you because you knew him from your brother's squad. It's no big deal."
There were a great number of things that Sparklefly might have liked to shout at this moment, but caution made her hesitate.
"This is not a good idea," was all she finally got out.
"No, it's a great idea," Scootaloo said with a grin. "You can always order him away if you're that worried about regulations."
Without waiting for a response, she continued on, trotting in the direction of the officer's mess.
Left standing a short distance from her own tent, Sparklefly quickly ran through the options in her mind. Trouble seemed the most likely end result if she didn’t immediately send the stallion away. And yet, would there really be any harm in spending a little time with him? Her adventurous spirit won out, and she went back inside. Corporal R still wore a look of bewilderment on his face.
"I'm sorry," he started.
Sparklefly silenced him by raising a hoof, "It's a small matter. I know it was all Captain Scootaloo's idea, and that she didn't tell you why you were called here."
They stood in silence for a shadow of eternity.
She finally shrugged and said, "There's no medical emergency. Why don't you have a seat?"
He sat down rather mechanically.
A forced laugh made it's way out, "That wasn't an order. I guess we both need to just relax, like the captain said."
She smiled, hoping it would be disarming. He still seemed nervous. She’d have to try something else. Maybe if they just got to talking, it would ease things a bit.
“I heard about your promotion, congratulations. I’m sorry I haven't written in a few days."
"That's okay, and thanks,” he replied. "I'm sure you've been busy."
She nodded.
"How are things in your unit?"
"Good," he answered, also nodding.
Silence grew strong again.
"Just good?"
"Well, very good?" he tried.
She couldn't help but snort a laugh at this.
"Sorry," he said. “I’m just... I was just very caught off guard by this."
"You and me both," she agreed.
It occurred to Sparklefly in the following quiet that the two of them had never really spoken since they’d started writing letters. Before then, they’d only had a professional rapport while he helped with her physical rehab after the siege in Ponyville. The way that their relationship had changed since then, it was as if they no longer knew how to talk.
"Your brother is doing well," Corporal R managed. "He's becoming quite the soldier.”
She met that statement with mixed feelings, mostly relief.
“Oh, and LD is in our squad now."
"He got demoted?" she asked, a little surprised.
"He had a mental break when we attacked Dodge Junction. It was nerves. If he hadn't been carried from the field, he would have been killed there. He just... wouldn't move."
"Scootaloo had told me a little about that, but I hadn't heard about a demotion."
"It's true. The rest of his platoon was folded into Lieutenant Clyde’s, and LD was taken off of active duty. He sat in the hospital until just before we headed here. He begged to return to active status, and I made the case for him, so he was placed under my care. I think he's fine now, but they are hesitant to give him any responsibility at this point."
Sparklefly wanted to help him, but if the breakdown had been as bad as she had heard, it might be for the best that he remain stripped of rank for the moment. It seemed so strange to her to think of LD as becoming that vulnerable. The missions on which they had served together, he'd always been strong and sure.
"Well, if you would, let him know that he hasn't been forgotten." Sparklefly smiled to herself, "I guess the list of ponies I'm going to have to get together with after the war is getting kind of long."
“Get together?”
“You know, like a reunion. It was Scootaloo’s idea. We’ve talked about it once or twice, but it seems kind of silly to get too much detail worked out until we can actually see an end of this mess. I think she’s already taking down names. I’ve been keeping a mental list, but it’s getting a bit long for that.”
"That figures, but it's a good problem to have," Corporal R replied. "How are things on your end of the field?"
"Well, there's a lot of it I can't really talk about.”
He nodded.
"Things are certainly looking up. We've managed to hold the timberwolves here for almost a week, which has given us a chance to rest since we don't have to use the entire force to engage them. I suspect it won't be long before they give up and force us to redeploy."
"Do you think so?"
Sparklefly shrugged, "If they have any sense at all, it's only a matter of time. I would have already abandoned attacking this position if we were on the other end of this. And really, all they have to do is leave. Surely they know we’ll follow.”
He looked as though he hadn't considered these things.
She decided to change the subject, "The rest of the family is doing well in Ponyville. They did tell me in a letter that several small attacks have been fended off since we left, but that was weeks ago. My sister seems to be getting more and more sullen. I just wish I could be there for her, you know?"
He shrugged, "I was an only child, but I think I know what you mean."
"Wow, I can't even imagine what that would be like."
“Being an only child?”
She nodded, “There are five of us.”
"Really? I had always wanted a brother. I thought we could be there for each other and have adventures and stuff. I don't know; it's dumb."
"Not at all," she said, feeling sad for him.
It must have been a lonely childhood. She’d certainly had her share of adventures with her siblings, Duster and Glitterdust especially. Though that was before, when they got along and the world was a happy place to live.
Sounds of battle resuming outside drew Sparklefly's attention, and her ears perked up as she tried to listen. It was difficult to tell from where it might be coming, but she knew it was somewhat far away. The sound of the concussions were echoing around.
"That's the western line," Corporal R said.
“How can you tell?" she asked, turning to face him.
"Listen. Do you hear the rhythm?"
Sparklefly picked through the cacophony of echoes. There seemed to be a pattern. It sounded something akin to a musical beat. Volley fire of one, two, three, and then a brief pause before it resumed.
"A waltz?" she asked.
Corporal R smiled at her. She loved his smile; his crystal blue eyes seemed to light up.
"Definitely the west line."
Feeling suddenly ashamed of the way that she had treated him, she felt the need to apologize. It was not born of reason or sense; it was just a compelling feeling.
"I'm sorry for how distant I am. I know it's not a great way to start a relationship."
"Maybe not, but I knew what I was signing up for when we began." He gestured at the sounds of combat outside and added, "Some things going on right now are just more important than us."
She smiled, surmising that most would have been upset by such a declaration. However, it was her own actions that had determined the priority of their relationship. It made her feel better to know that he understood her. There would be time to work on their own happiness later.
"What'd I miss?" Scootaloo's voice broke the growing quiet as the noise from the fighting died down. She entered the tent.
"Welcome back," Sparklefly greeted her. She was more relieved than annoyed, "LD was demoted."
"He was?" she shook her head gravely. "I guess that's not too surprising. He was out of his mind the last time I saw him."
"He is doing well now. Technically he still holds his rank, but he’s on a walking-wounded sort of leave,” Corporal R added.
Scootaloo nodded, "Well, that's good to hear. I hate to break up the party and all, but Flurry Heart is lowering the sun. You'll need to get back to your unit soon."
"Yes, ma'am," Corporal R said as he stood.
Scootaloo stepped back out of the tent, leaving the two alone again for a moment. They stared at each other.
"Hopefully we can see each other again soon," Sparklefly forced a smile; she knew that it was highly unlikely.
He returned a knowing gaze, but there was more. A beckoning in his eyes seemed to be asking something; it was difficult to be certain. Somewhere inside, something not intelligent or logical made sense to her. A communicated feeling had been understood. She made the smallest gesture, what may have passed for a nod, and he seemed to perceive it. He took a step toward her, closing the distance and slowly leaned down, drawing close. Time slowed and Sparklefly’s heart raced with the exhilaration of forbidden love. The mare met the stallion’s lips in a kiss that they were both ready for. The pegasus felt powerful forces exploding within as longing was slaked. She was strong, yet weak, full and warm inside; in a way, she felt whole, more than she ever had before. She was totally content and bubbling over with gratification; she could have lived in that moment for eternity. Then he was gone.
Scootaloo entered again when Corporal R left, and she grinned at Sparklefly, who could feel herself blushing as warmth radiated through her body. Her friend sat down on the chair by the table, and they shared silence for a few moments.
"I'm glad to see you made good use of your time," Scootaloo spoke rather glibly.
"Oh, shut up," Sparklefly playfully replied; she knew how red her face had become. "I just want to let you know that the day will come when you find yourself infatuated with some special somepony, and I will be without mercy,” she attempted an evil grin, but could tell that it didn't come across.
Scootaloo laughed, "Maybe so, but until that day comes, I'll have the upper hoof."
Sparklefly shook her head. She knew that it was hopeless. For the time being, she would just have to accept whatever torture her friend could devise. Thinking back at her medic, Corporal R, she quickly decided that it was worth it. She knew she was grinning like an idiot, and she didn't care. The joy she held inside was beyond anything she could have imagined to exist in a world so filled with darkness and fear.
Scootaloo changed the subject, “My final report for the day is that all attacks were stopped, and we still hold all positions on the heights. They seemed to be thinning out on the north side, but it's too cloudy tonight to get a good look at them. We'll know more in the morning."
"If they're moving out we'll have to try and draw them back," Sparklefly said.
"That was the consensus of the Taskforce and command, with one exception."
"Mane Crusher?"
Scootaloo smiled, "You think?"
"I wish he could give us something more than just a gut instinct. That's part of what got me so worked up the last few days. I hate the feeling that there's something I might be missing, so I went back over every scrap of intel I could get my hooves on, three times."
"You didn't miss anything," Scootaloo affirmed. "If they are up to something, we've had absolutely no indication of it. I've got the entire CAP on double-duty to make certain we're covered. I'm convinced he's just being paranoid."
Sparklefly rubbed her eye patch for a moment and added, "In any case, that's all we can do. Keep watching and be ready."
The pair grew silent for a long moment. Scootaloo appeared to have an unasked question behind her furrowed brow. Sparklefly waited to see if it would form, and her patience eventually came to fruition.
“How can you not hate Ash Eater?”
The mare frowned a moment and considered her answer. To not hate Ash Eater wasn’t quite to simple a thing as that, but it is the goal toward which she was working. She decided to keep it simple and treat the conversation as if she had already succeeded on that front.
“I forgave him.”
“Huh?” the other mare was dumbfounded. “How? But why? I mean, he’s evil!”
“Easy, it’s okay,” Sparklefly gathered her thoughts again, “I’m not over it, and I’m not saying he doesn’t need to die, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m letting go of what happened.”
“He doesn’t deserve that, not after what he did!”
“No, he doesn’t. But you can only forgive ponies that don’t deserve it, those that have done wrong to you. That’s why it’s called forgiveness.”
Scootaloo shook her head, “I don’t get it.”
“It’s something my momma-mare always used to say. If somepony does you dirty, it might feel good to hate them for a while, but hate is like a poison. If you take in too much, you only kill yourself.”
“I don’t know if I can agree with your momma-mare on this one.”
Sparklefly smiled, “Me neither. All I know is, that no matter what I do, it can’t change the facts. He hurt me. It happened. My attitude can only change myself.”
Silence took the pair for a long moment. Scootaloo appeared to be seething, dissatisfied with the turn their conversation had taken, but it seemed to pass as she let out a sigh.
"On that note, I'm going to hit the hay."
"Are you up early again?"
"Yeah, but you aren't. You've still got one more day of leave."
Sparklefly saluted in jest. Scootaloo snorted a laugh and stood to leave.
"Scootaloo."
"What?"
"Thank you for today.”
Sparklefly wanted to say more, but couldn't find the words. She was mostly grateful for the chance to see her medic.
"It's a small favor," Scootaloo replied with a grin.
The rest of the early evening was spent pouring over an updated map of the field that Scootaloo had left behind. It had fallen into place exactly as Sparklefly had predicted, with one minor exception. The northern side was looking thinner on timberwolf forces. Most likely they were moving away from the field toward Everfree. It would take them a day or two to make that march if they couldn’t be drawn back. Sleep came much faster and much deeper after a day of rest. In a single word, it was bliss.
Yes, I am indeed a hopeless romantic. 
So sue me! 
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He is not to far away, walk to him and talk to him yourself.
That's choosing to not pursue vengeance not forgiveness
Forgiveness is being over it.
That's what Easy company did.
6 on my end
Maybe I could go literally to place I went to get you and have a chat with him.
Not hating someone and forgiving them are different
And on that bombshell
8755064
1) True... she's a bit standoffish, isn't she...
2) Healing is being over it. Forgiveness is choosing to not count the suffered wrong against the one that inflicted it upon you. It isn't a feeling so much as a choice.
3) Band of Brothers is amazing!
4) Six? Is that a joke and I'm missing something? Sparklefly, Duster, Glitterdust, Thunderfly, and Shimmerpuff. Five kids, though, their mom would make six. Twinklestar.
5) Yes, but if you harbor hate toward someone because they treated you badly, that is a sign of unforgiveness. The go hand in hand, but are not the same thing.
8755219
No I was saying I have 6
It seems to me pretty obvious the 'lings are up to something. No way they would just decide to throw their now-limited forces into a grinder where they're losing more timberwolves than they kill off ponies and gryphons. They certainly had at least enough direction to mass all their forces into one area while leaving just enough to harass the rest of Equestria as well.
Well, I wonder how Sparklefly's last remaining day off will go, along with her relationship with the now-Corporal Beigh. Probably he ends up dying tragically within the next six chapters. That would be cruel!
I suppose since LD is statistically very likely to be a Mirror Clone, it's possible that he has a limited lifespan on his sense of self and Id, and that he's slowly turning into a sack of flesh and blood without any guiding sentience. Or something.
8786254
1) You are the first one to call that. 🍪
2) Ah.... um...
🍪 I think you see through all of my tricks at this point... I expect to be giving you a lot of cookies going forward...
3) Hmm... not quite, but yes, odds are he is a mirror clone. I'll never tell! More on that coming up.
8786461
y'know what I call? I call dragons showing up soon being lead by Ember or Spike, I mean seriously! How do you not have Spike in this?! When Twilight disappeared, you'd think her number one assistant would show up freaking out and wanting to kill ALL the changelings!
8844534
So... when I started writing this, Season 4 had just ended... so there was no Princess Ember, or Starlight Glimmer... and we didn't know much about the dragons except that they hated ponies... For whatever reason, I just am not that drawn to Spike... so he is basically just not mentioned in this entire story (I think he is mentioned, but he's not in it)... I think my original thought was that he had left to be a dragon for a while... or maybe was hibernating?
So... suffice to say, as awesome as it would have been, there will be no Deus Ex Draco in this story...