• Published 11th Jun 2012
  • 8,047 Views, 104 Comments

Spike and Rainbow Dash Love - FelixDawn



A RainbowSpike (SpikeDash) Fanfic

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First Kiss

Author's Note: There are some grammar and spelling errors on it I know, No need to remind me of it!


Celestia and her sun was shining over Equestria, there was one light blue pegasus who was doing sky trick moves. It was Rainbow Dash, whit her multicolored mane with her speed leaving a straight rainbow line on the sky had just done another flying practice in the park, "Well that is for today... I hope this move help me to join the Wonder Bolt!" She smirked as she said.


As she was about to go home she heard the bushes moving like someone was in the bushes, she sees a small purple tail with green spike coming out of one bush, Rainbow Dash smile a she knew who it was, "Come out now Spike I know you there!" She said with a smile.


Spike emerged from the bushes while he smiled, "So you knew that... I was in the bushes?" Spike said with a awkward smile and rubbed the back of he head.


Rainbow nodded and said, "Yes thanks for your tail you so be more careful next time!" She smile.


Spike laughed and see Rainbow Dash walking close to him.


"So what are you doing here Spike?" Rainbow Dash asked.


"Well I was taking a walk when I see you do in your move on the sky so I go here to see your, moves!" Said Spike.


Rainbow Dash chuckle, "Hey you want to hang out with me?" She ask the purple dragon.


Spike was surprised that Rainbow Dash would ask him to hang out with her.


Spike smiled a little and said, "Of course I will join you Rainbow!"


The two started walking on the grass as they walk they telling each other story, "And then Twilight mess, Celestia royal dinner!" Spike said, Rainbow Dash laugh over Spike story. They talk to each other for hours.


After walking for a while the two decided to take a break and lay on the nice green grass. Rainbow looked at Spike while he still asleep and she looked happy that Spike was sleeping, *He looks cute!* Rainbow Dash thought.


She used her hoof to brushed he greed spike gently as he was sleeping, "Wait what am I doing?" She then quick pulled her hoof away as she thought, *What is wrong with me? This happen to me before when I meet him for the first time!*


As she took her hoof away Rainbow Dash had a strange feeling in her body. She notice that she was laying next to Spike she was getting a strange feeling, "Do not these feelings for him again!... I thought they already gone!"


Rainbow Dash then got on top of Spike gently as her face was getting close to the dragon face as a pink blush appeared on her face. Now her lips were getting close to Spike lips when, "What am I doing?! I’m trying to kiss Spike oh please no no no!" Through Rainbow Dash.


Spike open he eyes and saw Rainbow Dash face close to he face, "Ra.. Rainbow what are you doing?!" He ask as a red blush appear on he face.


Rainbow Dash immediately got off Spike as she stood up quick so Spike would not see her blushing.


"Rainbow are you just trying to kiss me?" Spike asked.


Rainbow Dash shook her head and said, "What of course not Spike I just wanted to... see is that was a bug in your face that’s all!"


Rainbow was still blushing as she was thinking why she did almost tried to really kiss him.


she didn’t notice that Spike had walked in front of her, "Rainbow Dash are you blushing?"


Rainbow Dash snapped back to reality as she turned around, she was silent for the moment since Spike saw her blush, "N... no why I wanted to blush!" She respond.


"Rainbow its ok that you’re blush and I don’t have a problem with either way is to that bad. I know it’s not your style to blush but its fine with me!"


"Can you just promise me something Spike... Please don’t tell anypony what happened today?!" Said Rainbow Dash a she turned around slowly and Spike saw her blush a little.


"Sure Rainbow I won’t tell anypony about this!" Spike said rubbed the back of he head.


Rainbow Dash smile that it was going to be between her and Spike.


"You know Dash we can still hang out if you want to?" Spike said.


Rainbow nodded and said, "Yes I would like to continue hang out with you!" She smile.


Spike smiled as he started walking with Rainbow Dash through the park a little bit more.


*I don’t know why it still puzzles me, I wonder if Rainbow Dash was really trying to kiss me back there?" Spike thought.


*That was stupid of me to try gave Spike a kiss... I am a bad pony!* Rainbow Dash said.


It was now evening as Rainbow Dash and Spike walk to the Library tree like house they stop front the door.


"Spike thank you for today I really enjoyed it!" Rainbow Dash said.


Spike rubbed the back of his head and said, "Hey no problem Rainbow I was glad to hang out with yo...?!" Spike was cut by a kiss from Rainbow Dash.


Rainbow Dash broke off the kiss as Spike stood standing frozen, "Well I guess I see you tomorrow then... Bye Spike!" After that she jumped into the air and fly to the sky as she leaving Spike frozen.


Then the library door opened and was Twilight Sparkle who see Spike still frozen front the door, "Oh hey Spike... Spike are you okay... Spike hello Equestria to Spike?" Twilight keep calling, Spike to get he attention but Spike never respond.


Twilight use her magic to takes Spike inside the library. Celestia's sun begins to getting down.


Later that night, Rainbow Dash was lying on her bed with Tank the tortoise on her side, she smiled as her mind reflected on the fun day she had with the small dragon Spike.

Rainbow Dash keep asking herself questions. Those answers not let her to sleep, she found a bit more serious and shocking expression, "Is possible that I... start to have a crush on Spike again... Oh please Celestia tell me is not true!" She said.

Comments ( 94 )

This! Could go into dark territory very easily. but Spike and Dash? I REALLY do not want to know... :facehoof: Though i still liked it. :pinkiehappy: Without the grammar:ajbemused:

I can honestly say that if it weren't for the bad grammar, bad spelling, and bits of bad writing (of which I cannot blame because I am guilty of it as well) it would've been at least a 4, instead of the 2.5 it is... but it does give me inspiration for my imagination and desire for Spike shippings (that I might make into a fic)

732335 I love dark territory :trixieshiftright:

after reading all the comments above i have to say. this story could be really good. true you need to work on some stuff. but i think you should keep going with this story. i would really like to see how this turns out. just slow down and learn

732479 I work slow and fix before summit the fic.

Max

732606

You, out NOW :pinkiesick:

i thought that was kind of cute when spike froze aww i think they would make a cute couple:rainbowkiss:

>> FelixDawn dude, you can't just hate on people who are giving criticism for fixing your fic, which has a good idea by the way. I'm sorry if you got mad, but... :ajbemused:

Wonderbot? Also Tank's a tortoise.

732690 I not hate them for criticism I only hate negative comments and I not mad and everyone so know that can not help anyone like that, everyone so ask the authors before.

Same here. What reason would I have to troll you? I was only trying to help ya, man.

same as Firefeather I was helping not hating

732722 In what moment I said that?

732772 I not remember calling you a troll now if you really want to help me ask me before.

Alright, i'm going to say this one more time then. And if my criticism is deleted once again, then this just shows you don't want to listen to any of our advice.

Your grammar needs a LOT of work. A lot of the sentences are awkward to read and I'm more busy interpreting what you're talking about than paying attention to the story. That's how bad it is.

Your spelling needs work as well. The very first two words show a typo. It's not a good sign for the reader. But it's not just right there, but several other parts of the story as well.

Run on sentences and punctuation. Good lord man. Place these ' things when you need to say "She's" or "He's", something similar to that effect. Lack of periods and commas are apparent too.

I'm not trying to troll you, but I'm trying to help you. You need to understand that.

732740 Thanks I was looking for the species of Tank

732842 Undesrstand this ask me before and if I not want listen to any of our advice is because I not want to you can't force me to do in respent that.

And that is my damn style of writing.

732866

What's your style of writing?

732866
People can have styles, of course. No doubt you have one as well. However, you simply can't abandon basic rules of grammar and spelling for the sake of having a 'style'. All writing needs to follow a basic set of rules in order to be legible, and I'm sorry to say that your work here isn't holding up to that. :fluttercry:

732874 The one you see in the fic.

Sir, not to be trolling but if you are so proud of your work you'll work past criticism and not only accept it, but use it to pin-point flaws and fix them. If you want your work admired, you put all your effort improving it in something as simple as grammar and orthography. Defending it is pretty pointless if you can put your efforts in editing, and I mean real editing.

By the way
Green= verde
Greed= codicia

El mejor consejo que puedo darte es que busques a alguien es que si tu ingles no es de lo mejor, busques a un editor, alguien que hable ingles; o escribas en tu idioma. En fanfiction.net suelen ser más indulgentes, pero por favor, acepta una opinión con humildad en vez de tener actitudes y delirios de grandeza payasescos.

732897 I follow rules only when is necessary.

732907 I fix them yet everyone keep saying the same think also thanks for the "Green" one.

732939
My friend, I won't lie when I say that yes, rules are sometimes meant to be broken. However, disregarding the rules of basic writing is a disregard of the English language itself. Do you really wish to spread ignorance amongst young readers that don't know any better?

Mother of god.

This was my face when i saw the would be shipping.
s1.hostingkartinok.com/uploads/images/2012/02/7b6553ff0eac340f09beccd3865e084f.gif
this was my face when i actually read the story.
2.asset.soup.io/asset/2958/1042_e892_960.jpeg
You need to improve grammar ,spelling and pacing too.
But its still a story with :rainbowkiss::heart::moustache: shipping so i guess that's some thing.

733019 Ask me if I need help in my grammar and I not flaming anyone :facehoof:

732957 When since that is ignorance and not follow basic writing rules is not going to hurt anyone.

OK lets finish this shit up.
You posted this story on a site in which hundreds and thousands of people can access everyday.
Grammar may not matter to you but it sure hell matters to us.
If you don't want us to give criticism then don't post it.
It may not be sore to your eyes but it sure as hell sore to ours.
:facehoof:

733469 No my problem.

I not follow anyone footsteps so not tell me how to fix my spelling and grammar.

:trixieshiftleft:

733045

I...don't think you know what criticism is.

Riz

733794 Uhhmm....FelixDawn..can you be my pre-reader of my fic ?

733952 If you want me to be one PM please.

Riz

Yay ! :rainbowkiss:

It has a good but a few grammar stuff

Oh dear. Now now I like the idea of :rainbowkiss: :heart: :moustache: , but this is kinda out of hand. FelixDawn, please tell me you are under eleven? Because otherwise your grammar needs SERIOUS work. :pinkiesad2: Jjust saying... :derpytongue2:

I not trying to start something but why are people so stuck on a few grammar errors in FANFIC I mean really.
Someone is taking time out to write for the enjoyment of other and all folks do is whine.
I am not talking about anyone specifically but I just saying come on can't we do what It says in the brony handbook page.24
Which states LOVE AND F******* TOLERATE this goes for everything people AND fanfics.
Now here is what I think for the story, Love the plot, Love the pairing, grammar was not the best but the content was spot on.
All and all this fic ok in my book and I will be enjoying it.
I know this will make some mad but I will stand by what I said.:moustache:

I believe this is the first RDxSpike story here. Which is somewhat surprising, as RD has had her turn with everyone else in the main cast and Spike has certainly been around the block a few times.

Didn't like the story, but I am rather happy this ship has been written.

734614 My ages not matter.

736886
If you are writing in english, it does.
, <--- You see that?
It's a comma.
You seem to be lacking in them.

I'll be as gentle as possible:

Reading this was akin to feeling a tumor grow in your eyeballs and fully mature while killing you slowly.

Granted this isn't the worst on this site but:

This fic gave me kidney stones.

And you can bet your balls that's more painful than cancer.

736996 And all you going to bitch about spelling just because a stupid comma really?

:rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

737039
Not the spelling, the grammer.
You have good ideas, you really do.
But if you don't use proper grammer, people can't understand what you mean.
Have you thought about getting a pre-reader?
Some one who can fix it up abit so people will like it better?

737049 I use proper grammar and keep saying that I need to fix my grammar or I simple remove the comments I keep saying that I fix it so not come to me saying those stuff and no I not want any pre-reader.

737109
...
Using normal grammer isn't grammer Nazi.
It's just basic grammer.
Most people are suppost to know it.

737121 I just let you know in case you going to be one of them.

737138
I'm not.
I don't care for fancy grammer, just the basics.
Okay? :unsuresweetie:

hehe,
I read the whole thing again, except with popcorn.:pinkiehappy:

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