I think it's nice you took the time to write this all up. That all said, it probably would be a good idea to go back through what you have posted so far, and maybe switch this chapter over to being a blog. With going back over it all it can help as a refresher for what you have written out so far, and do some much needed edits (and revisions) you probably need. And try not rush it in the future, that's a quick way to get sloppy, besides coming back to a work in progress an hour or so later can help with finding your own mistakes. Besides, quality work takes time, a little extra time won't hurt the story as long as you don't rush it because of some schedule you've forced your writing into.

7822670 Well you see, I wrote this as a chapter so my readers could all see it. I wanted them to be able to ask me questions instead of just my followers. As for your other advice, I will keep it in mind when I edit the first and second chapter to fix small mistakes. Also I'm sorry if it seems that I was forcing the story into a schedule, when in actuality, I have school to attend as well as family maters (neither of which I want to do) to attend to. If you want to continue this conversation, feel free to mail me! Thanks for commenting!