Q&A
Q&A: From Pinkie Pie and Zek
The following passage is to inform people who might not be as knowledgeable about Doctor Who as the rest of us. If you know about Doctor Who you may skip this even though it’s funny, oh and a new character is introduced.
“Hello everypony and welcome to the first question and answer session!” Said Pinkie Pie excitedly. from behind the counter of sugar cube corner. “I’m your host Pinkie Pie and this is my cohost Zeky. Lets take a look at the questions!” Pinkie Pie opens the letter bag… it’s nearly empty. Pinkie Pie’s hair almost deflates for only a brief second before she says. “Oh it’s ok we have a few questions in stock anyway.”
“This is illogical, who are we talking to anyway?” said Zek. “And aren’t we supposed to have a special guest?”
“First question.” Said Pinkie Pie ignoring Zek’s objections. “What is a Time Lord. Well I Time Lord is a lord of time duh. I mean it’s in the title.”
“Incorrect. Said Zek “A Time Lord is and inferior species from the planet Galifray they are also referred to as Gallifreyans. Their development of time travel put them above the rest of creation. At least they thought they where. They where to relaxed for their own good. When the Daleks marched on them they where unprepared for the conflict. They have been exterminated during the Time War along with most of the Daleks.”
“Okey doky, next question.” Said Pinkie Pie. “Oh I know this one. ‘What are the Daleks?’ The Daleks are a bunch of mean trashcan looking things with squids things inside them.”
“That is a crude description.” Said Zek “Daleks were the mutated descendants of the Kaleds of the planet Skaro. They are genetically engineered to feel no emotion and soaked in radiations to be created into the ultimate form of life. We are unstoppable-“
“You aren’t stoppable? Really? How interesting. Said Pinkie Pie sounding skeptical. “Next question is from Just a Moment. He asks “Might I ask what era of the Daleks are you using?” I’ll let Zek answer this one. Take it way Zeky.”
Zek ignored his new nickname. “I am from the Time War era. But there may be other forms of Daleks in this story that haven’t been revealed yet.”
“Ohhhh! are there any that don’t look like trash cans?” asked Pinkie.
“Well… no.” said Zek.
“Well that’s a bummer.” said Pinkie Pie. “Next question ‘What is the cult of Skaro?’ Hmm. If it’s a colt from Skaro. And Skaro is your home planet that must mean it’s a male pony from Skaro right?” reasoned Pinkie Pie.
“Wrong again.” said Zek. Zek wondered why the ghost asked Pinkie to answer questions she knew nothing about.
“The Cult of Scaro was a secret organization created by the Dalek Emperor.” The Cult of Skaro was assigned the task of furthering the Dalek cause through the development of new and unorthodox ideas and strategies. Dalek Sec leads them. They where the only Daleks ever to receive names in order to help them think like their enemy. ”
“But what about-” started Pinkie
“The only ones to have names.” Interrupted Zek
“But-” objected Pinkie.
“The only ones.” Said Zek clearly and slowly.
…
Ok then well next question. Said Pinkie Pie changing the subject. Onced asked ‘How ponies can a Dalek EXTERMINATE!?’
“DALEKS CAN AND WILL EXTERMINATE ALL THE PONIES. However. Some will possibly be kept as slaves to mine the planet. Then they will be EXTERMINATED.”
“Well that’s not very nice.” Said Pinkie Pie.
“I will read the next one. Fluttershy asked ‘How do Daleks eat?” Zek stared at the question for a while. “Do not ask questions with obvious answers.”
“‘How do the Elements of Harmony work?’” Zek was interested to hear this one.
“Well” said Pinkie Pie. “When they are used on sompony they take all the evil they have in their heart. If they are pure evil of course this won’t work so they get turned to stone.”
“Next question.” Pinkie read “’What’s the deal with the hobs watch?’ Zek what watch are they talking about?”
“I believe they mean this watch.” Said Zek holding up the watch in question. It’s a gold with many strange symbols on it. Pinkie Pie stared into the watch for a good ten seconds before speaking.
“Oh, that watch. Nothing special really. My foster parents said I had it with me when I was adopted. Nothing too interesting just a watch. I better put it away though. Wouldn’t want to lose it.” Pinkie Pie leaned over to pick up. When she touched the watch. her eyes rolled back and her whole body started to twitch. She twitched like she was being possessed by a demon for about ten seconds and then collapsed. She lay there as if she was dead.
“Pinkie are you ok?” asks Zek
Silence.
Zek moved over to Pinkie and poked her with his manipulator arm. “Pinkie this is not funny.” Still silence. “Please don’t be dead.” Silence. “I like you the best.”
Suddenly Pinkie pie was singing under her breath.
Oh I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
I wont deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
"Pinkie what's wrong?" asked Zek.
Pinkie rolled up like a ragdoll. A smile was on her face. She looked fine. “Howdy Zek.” As if nothing had happened. “Would you mind getting me a nice, cold lemonade? And a hamburger?”
“But Pinkie we are in the middle of answering questions. And you don’t even eat meat. You can’t just-”
“You will obey me. Pinkie said hypnotically. “You will obey me.”
“I… will… obey.” Zek struggled, but he was caught by surprised.
“You will go and get me a lemonade and a hamburger.” Said Pinkie Pie slowly.
“I… will go… and get a lemonade… and a hamburger.” Repeated Zek.
“Good, now go do it.” Zek obeyed. He left Pinkie Pie alone in the room.
Pinkie Pie’s head turns to look directly at you. A wicked grin forming on her face.
“Just you and me now big eyes. Now where were we? Oh right the hob watch.” Said Pinkie Pie. Holding the watch by it’s chain she held it up to her face. “A hob watch can be used as a temporary storage place for a Time Lord. Well let me explain further. The Chameleon Arch was Time Lord technology which could modify the biology of a Gallifreyan, so the cells registered as another species. The Chameleon Arch was composed of a headset, a fob watch-like device used to store the Time Lord's memories and original biological information, and a perception filter.”
“What this means in layponies terms that the pony known as Pinkie Pie is not real. She is a pony I made up in order to hide from the Time Lords again. All her memories are fabrications. All I have to do is open this watch and I become me again. And Pinkie Pie will die. Fooooreeeeever.” She played with the watch as if she was going to open it. Then fell into a fit of laughter. When she stopped she said.
“But not yet. The times not right, but it will happen, I Pinkie promise. Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye. If this Pinkie promise I do comply. Pinkie Pie will surely die” When she went to put her hoof in her eye she forgot that she was holding the fobs watch and it cut her eye. Blood dripped down her face.
“Oops.” She said. She licked the blood off her face. The smile never left.
For now I’ll just answer questions. I can’t remember which one’s I’ve answered yet. Lets see here. Oh hears a good one. ‘Why is the meaning of life 42?’ Well that one’s easy. Deep Thought was simplifying the answer. If you convert 42 into binary code you get 111111. Now put slashes in-between the ones like this 10/10/10. Now it looks like a date. A very popular show started on that day. And that is the meaning of life. Now next question.”
“Onced asked, How many ponies can a Dalek Exterminate?” Her smile grew wider. “Not as many as I will.”
“’What is regeneration?’ What a boring question.” Said Pinkie. “Why not ask how many people I killed last month or something? No? Well if you insist on this question, Time Lord regeneration is a process of cheating death at the cost of changing one’s appearance and personality. We can do it only thirteen times. Pinkie Pie stared at you and repeated “Only thirteen times.” She said putting stress on every syllable. “Next question.
“Doctor who?” Pinkie Pie read. “Well well well. You may have just asked one of the only beings to know the Doctor’s real name. The Doctor’s real name is-“
Just then Zek burst through the door. Surprising Pinkie Pie into dropping the watch. Without direct contact with the watch her eyes glazed over and she reverted back to normal.
“I have brought lemonade, but the shop keeper failed to provide hamburger. He has been dealt with.” Said Zek.
“Oh my head… Oh you brought lemonade? Thank you Zeky that’s just what the doctor ordered.” She downed the lemonade quickly. “Ow brain freeze.”
“We should finish up. We only have time for one more question.” Said Zek.
Well, okey dokey. Lets see. This one looks good. ‘Who is the Doctor?’
“The Doctor is an enemy of the Daleks.” Said Zek “He is a cosmic meddler. He is the Oncoming Storm. He is like fire and ice. He is-“
“He also played first base really well back at the academy.” Said Pinkie Pie. Zek turned his stalk slowly to face Pinkie Pie.
“Yes, but how do you know that?” asked Zek.
“I don’t know it just kinda poped into my head.” Said Pinkie Pie.
“That is impossible, how could you have known that!?” asked Zek.
“Well that’s all we have time for now see you in a few days!” Said Pinkie Pie.
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Well that explains her absurd amount of knowledge that most would take for granted. Behold The Jester!!! That would be a perfect time lord name for her.
840176
It's a known Time Lord. For hints look at chapter 10 and all the songs. (besides the fun song) although the jester is a good name. I'll have to save that one.
840194 You sly dog you. But seriously, making him pinkie pie, it's like making The Professor rainbow dash, applejack, or big mac. It just don't seem right.
840669
i haven't seen all the dalek episodes, but i have I've seen all 1-4 doctor episodes that where not lost. And i've seen all of 8-11. Still have't seen 5-7 though.
In this universe the order of the doctors goes like this. 8th doctor>????>Doctor Whooves>9th>David Tennant>Matt Smith
Is Pinkie Pie The M#####?
Oh thank you Pinkie and Zek. You are kind, but may I request? A little spree to see who is the best?
845518 *Shrug*
What show started 11/11/11?
Also: SQUEE so fantastic
1660764
should say 10/10/10
841428
Yes.
She is.
841428 The Master is obvious man.
Don't hide that shit
Since most of my Doctor Who watching comes from the classic series, I pictured the entire Pinkie monologue in Roger Delgado's voice