Undertales of Friendship

by ngrey651

Shiny Happy Ponies, Part 3

“Sigh…another day…”

Celestia lowered her head, closing her eyes as she put her head to the desert sands below, her rainbow mane flowing freely. All the Saddle Arabians watched in awe as her horn glowed, and then before their eyes as Luna hovered overhead…it sprang forth. A beautiful natural spring that looked as though it had always belonged there, waterfalls pouring into an immense lake as more and more sprang up around the desert. Luna held her hooves high and from the skies came forth beautiful, crystal clear rain, bathing over the overjoyed crowd as they cheered and happily whooped and hollered.

“Another wonderful opportunity for discoveries. Voila! An end to the drought! Voila! An end to your hunger!” She added, beautiful trees filled with fresh fruit rising all around the springs, delicious-looking berries popping up on bushes all around. “Voila!”

She pointed her horn at a poor Earth pony Saddle Arabian covered in festering boils who was barely able to wrap rags around himself to cover up his disgusting visage and he gasped as he looked down at himself, now utterly cured as Luna flew down towards a horn-broken-off Unicorn. “A cure for Leprosy!”

“Voila!” Luna proclaimed, touching HER horn to the stub that the poor Saddle Arabian had and before everyone’s eyes, it too began to heal. “A cure for Broken Horn Syndrome!”

Immediately, all of the assembled dark-furred Saddle Arabians bowed their heads, falling to their knees or on their bellies in grateful worship as Celestia and Luna tenderly nodded back. “Thank you, thank you. But your praise is not needed. We only desire for you to live decent, good lives. Enjoy these boons we have given you.” The two insisted firmly as they made their way up, up and into the air, flying off.

“Where shall we head to next, sister?” Celestia inquired before suddenly a scroll popped up right in front of her with a green burst of flame, and she caught it in one hoof, opening it up. “Oh! It says that the inhabitants of Ponyville, from our little ponies to Monsterkind are all so happy with their lives here they want to celebrate the anniversary of their arrival at our palace in Canterlot! They’re already there and working on a big “surprise party”.”

“Why the quotation marks?” Luna inquired

“I KNOW Pinkie wrote that part.” Celestia said with a little smile. “She’s got that darling little twirl to her writing.”

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, the town was now deserted, leaving only a small band behind to save all of Equestria and to fend off the encroaching Caribou horde. Squirt, Chrysalis, Discord and Sombra were making their way into the underground tunnelways which had been naturally carved from the earth below the town, with one purpose: redirecting the sewerways. They too were situated just below the town, and what Squirt intended to do was a bit of rearranging. Connecting one tunnelway…to another.

Of course, it would take QUITE a bit of magic to pull this off, and they didn’t have a lot of time. So they had to work fast, with Discord using his considerably powerful might to help them direct their efforts. Putting on a hard hat and snapping his claws, an enormous map stretched out in front of them made of shimmering light, perfectly illustrating the Ponyville sewer system overlayed over the natural passageways below the town as his eyes faintly glowed.

“We’ll have to connect them here…here…and here.” Sombra said, pointing at three points on the map. “Those are the passageways that lead directly up to the town. One by the schoolhouse, one right below city hall as an emergency escape route, and another…there.”

“By FLUTTERSHY’S home? Oh wow, that woulda been close.” Squirt remarked as he shook his head. “Well that’s not gonna happen. It’s a shame Sans can’t help us with this.”

“His ability to move things about with his unique magic is for ORGANIC targets. Beings that have souls can easily be affected by his magic. Without a soul, his magic is nigh useless. It’s why he has to teleport or dodge attacks instead of simply snapping his fingers to halt a bullet shooting towards him.” Sombra calmly informed the youngling.

“That’s fine, my boy. They’ll do their part. Because there’s still Caribojangles…” Discord remarked with a dark frown. “We need him dealt with by heavy hitters while we…take out the TRASH.” He said, adjusting the construction worker helmet atop his head, eyes glittering as Chrysalis and Sombra’s horns surged with raw magical power and Squirt dove into a pouch on his belt, blowing dust over the two as their horns began to pulsate.

“Oh MY! What a delightful tingle!” Chrysalis cooed, murring almost erotically as Sombra licked his lips. “This feels niiiice. Whatever did you do?”

“My dad’s been teaching me the art of crushing up magical ingredients for powder, to help him out with stuff. We figured out ringwort and blue mushrooms will increase raw strength, but blue mushrooms and parasprite blood mixed together with crushed gems increase MAGICAL power. For about…five minutes.”

“Channel your energies. Focus. Breath in…” Discord commanded. “And focus on moving the tunnelways.” He said, putting a hand on each of their heads so they could see as HE could, and see the natural tunnelways stretching out before them. They focused intensely, a burning, powerful tingling sensation filling their frames as the tunnelways began to shift and shudder, and Squirt grinned with delight, hearing the sounds of the underground shifting about…and the unmistakable wet, schlurping, sloughing sounds that accompanied them, knowing his plan was working perfectly.

“I am a SICK pony.” He chuckled.

…

…

…

… “So…”

Asgore, Shinedown, Chara and the Sanses stood at the edge of Ponyville, Caribojangles standing there. Unlike all the other Caribou, he had done something they hadn’t thought was possible.

He had dug himself squarely up. Up, up through what had to have been a full two miles worth of natural earth…to emerge outside the town’s limits. He had dig and dug and dig and dug, and was now covered in dirt and muck and grime. But frankly, that was an improvement. Caribojangles smelled bad. He looked bad. He even sounded bad. His voice reminded Shinedown of the sound of your throat having been crushed, and you were TRYING to say something, anything, but failing miserably, your voice now a wet, squelchy mess.

And they WISHED his voice was a wet squishy mess that made what he said inaudible. But no. Despite the ugly, hateful tone…they could hear every single word he said, his hair flopping over what looked like a badly-burnt face, one eye blind and burned to a crisp, leaving nothing but a hollow empty hole of a socket, the other a seething, furious, sneering deep brown that looked ugly.

Ugly. Everything about Caribojangles was ugly. His horns were ugly and misshapen, his muscles looked like it HURT to be him, hurt to have that much on him. He had flies circling around his flies, his hair was shaggy and unkempt, and his teeth were gnarled and crooked and matted with old bloodstains. Half his fur had clearly never, ever grown back from being burnt off all those years ago, showing off near-rotten skin that almost had muscle and sinew exposed, ugly purple bruises left behind…

Ugly. Just. Plain. Ugly.

“You got a lot of nerve showing your face here.” Shinedown spoke softly.

“I know your eyes. You’ve got HIS eyes.” Caribojangles said, his singular eye narrowing. “…one of his spawn.”

“Sombra is unfortunately my ancestor.” Shinedown said as he took out something from the belt he wore, showing off a long, looong chain that had a wicked, ornate hook blade at the end. He began to quietly twirl it in one hoof, his deep blue eyes coldly gazing back at Caribojangles. “And UNFORTUNATELY I evidently inherited his penchant for cruelty.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. So. Where are all these lovely little ponies I’ve heard so much about from the tribes to the North? They had nothing but nice things to say about their wonderful trading partners, led by the ever-wise Celestia and Luna. And much to my surprise, I find MONSTERS here as well? Oh, this day just keeps getting better.” Caribojangles chuckled as he looked over at Error Sans and Normal Sans. “So you’re a skeleton? I wonder…if I used your skull for sex, and then a decorative birdhouse…would that make me a necrophiliac?”

“You are one sick puppy, you know that? And I know sick.” Error Sans commented coldly.

“Everyone to their own tastes. Mine is for corpses.” Caribojangles said with a scraggly grin as he licked over his teeth with an overly red tongue. “Among other things. As Sombra learned...probably why he burnt me alive.” His eyes turned foul and twistedly dark. "I didn't much CARE...for that!"

“You will leave now. You are outnumbered.” Asgore demanded furiously, clutching his trident with barely-restrained fury at this disgusting specimen of being.

“Outnumbered, yes. But you’re…outclassed.” Caribojangles proclaimed, the hollowness in his eyes suddenly bursting forth, ugly, hateful, oozing blackness swelling forth, rocketing towards them. They all barely dived out of the way in time as the town hall went up in a horrific blaze of big, black flame that looked like a mixture of ooze and oily vomit blended together, Caribojangles cackling insanely as Asgore turned pale. He had seen that type of magic only once before…and now he knew how Caribojangles had stayed alive.

“Necromancy. You’re a LICH.” He realized aloud.

“Tell you what, sir. You win, and you can keep my heart.” Caribojangles laughed, reaching up with a hoof as he pulled aside a patch of fur on his chest, revealing a rotten, disgusting, maggot-ridden heart that was barely beating, Error Sans’s eyes turning into pinpricks in his sockets as the caribou leader turned to him. “Well look at that. SOMEBODY’S interested. For some it’s hot women. For others it’s hot men. But you see an insanely powerful magical item…and it’s a party in your pants!”

“That’s enough chatter!” Shinedown roared out, his chain shooting forth with almost insane speed, latching around Caribojangle’s throat as he tugged him forth. “GET OVER HERE!”

KRA-KRAK! He kicked him. Hard. And the caribou leader was sent spiraling towards a tree, crashing through it but quickly rising back up, ugly, foul wings of bone stretching out from his shoulders as he launched himself at them all, cackling madly as Asgore’s trident turned a familiar blue color and Error Sans and Sans looked the Caribou leader over.

“He almost doesn’t have a soul.” Error commented.

“well…almost only counts in horseshoes.” Sans said with a smirk.

Meanwhile, the caribou were trotting along through the dark expanses, frowning to themselves. As they had continued their trek through the darkness, their torches had gone out. Now they had to rely on the simple instruction that their leader had given: simply follow the path until you see the light. That will bring you to the town, and to new conquests. Yet though they kept following the path, occasionally bumping into the walls, something was off.

It began to smell worse and worse, and the trudge further and further down the path was becoming harder and harder. The ground beneath their feet was oddly soft, almost wet, and those in back were beginning to grumble.

“Somethin’ ain’t right. Why’s it getting’ harder and harder to move?”

“I can’t see a damn thing!”

“Can’t somebody light a new torch?”

“With what?! We ran out of matches!”

“Can you even HOLD a match in your big, meaty hoofs?”

“What did you say?!”

“BIG! MEATY! HOOFS!”

“Oh, give it a rest.” Caribojangle’s second in command at the front yelled back, the poor idiot rolling his eyes as he kept walking forward. “I think I can hear water. We must be near the town’s fountain or the like.” Cariboromir said cheerily as they all strained their ears. Sure enough, the sound of rushing water was faintly audible, and getting closer as they kept walking. A smile began to spring up on their unpleasant mugs as they grinned with delight. “Now how about a cheery little song to keep our spirits up?”

“Where there’s a whip! There’s a way! Where there’s a whip! There’s a way!”

“No, no, not that.” Cariboromir commented with a snort of his thick nostrils. “I don’t know what I’ve been told, but pony pus-”

But before he could finish, suddenly he slipped and fell squarely onto the ground with a loud, ugly SQLA-SCWORLCH, and everyone began to laugh. He struggled to get back up before suddenly…he realized a bunch of the overly-wet, muddy-esque “ground” had gotten all over his face and…on the edge of his lips.

His tongue slowly curled up…flicking at it.

“…tastes like shit.” Cariboromir muttered as the others began to slowly stop laughing, realizing the sound of rushing water…was getting louder.

Even though they’d stopped moving.

“Oh fuck, that’s what it IS, it’s SHIT!” Cariboromir cried out, the horrific realization coming all too soon. “OhletmeouttahereohI’mgonnablowmygroceriesohshititsSHITohmygooooooooood-”

And with a THWOOOSH, it came. An enormous, fervent, fountain of cess that spilled forth through the tunnelway, slamming into the Caribou, sweeping them down, down, back down the way they’d come. They spiraled around, spinning and twirling, mouths half-full of rotten garbage, refuse and pony waste, coughing, spluttering and howling in denial, the cry of “Oh shit it’s shit” echoing again and again through the near-endless passageways.

“WHOEVER DID THIS IS A SICK, SICK MOTHERFUCKER!” Cariboromir managed to cry out, sobbing uncontrollably.

Meanwhile, Caribojangles had grabbed hold of the chain Shinedown sent towards him anew, and had yanked the Earth pony forward, KICKING him high, high into a chimney on a nearby roof. Smirking in pride, he then slammed his hoof into the ground, and sickly shockwaves shot forth, racing towards Sans as he nonchalantly swept away, Error calmly sliding to the side as well as the two spoke as one. “C’MON. THINK I’M GONNA STAND THERE AND LET YOU HIT ME?” They asked.

But then Caribojangles twisted his horn, and the shockwaves TURNED, reeling back towards them, the two now forced to teleport onto nearby roofs as Asgore swept his blazing Trident at the lich, the blade enveloped in his blue light. The caribou howled as it dug into his neck, the head flying up, up. Asgore calmly shoved the body back…

Only for it to hold its hooves out, catching the head, putting it back on as he smirked, then tossed it straight at Asgore, who caught it in one hand.

“Hey. Wanna little head?” It asked before its tongue shot out, stabbing into Asgore’s cheek, making him reel back in a mixture of disgust and pain as the body twisted, avoiding Chara’s sweeping knife. Chara sliced and slashed, his eyes almost red as he coldly gripped the handle, his face without pity, without mercy.

“This time, when you’re killed…stay dead.” Chara demanded coldly, trying to surge forth and stab into the ugly, beating heart as Error Sans flicked his fingers. Blue thread shot forward, wrapping around the Caribou’s leg and sweeping him around and around and around.

“Don’t know about you, but I’m having a ball.” He commented wryly before Asgore tossed the head away at last, Caribojangles hopping over to the wire and BITING into it. Ugly, foul black ooze shot up, slamming into Error Sans as he howled and screamed, a foul, disgusting miasma covering his body, forcing him to leap onto Sans.

“You’re both skeletal creatures. Beings on the plane of Death. And MINE to command!” Caribojangles laughed as Chara cringed in horror, Error Sans and Normal Sans rising up, black ooze dribbling out of their sockets as they slumped forward, heading towards the group, Asgore cringing as he grasped his trident.

“We can’t hurt them! They’ve barely got any HP!” He insisted.

“The dangers of being a glass cannon.” Chara grumbled. “What’re we going to do?”

“You can DIE!” Error Sans roared out, flexing his hands, blue wires wrapping around them, slamming them into a nearby house, the walls collapsing and crashing around him. Sans snapped his fingers, Gaster Blasters rising up in the air behind him as its jaws opened wide, light coalescing around it as Caribojangles calmly watched on, nonchalantly putting his head back on as the reached up to his chest and pulled out a rib which had odd holes in it. He calmly blew into it, the thing now a harmonica of sorts as he began playing a jaunty little tune, Asgore and Chara howling in agony as they kept getting blasted and blasted, being killed by inches.

“you got so much sin crawling on your back.” Sans muttered, the ooze slowly dribbling out onto the ground below. “so…much…sin…no, no, this is wrong, stop…stop…” He murmured, the ooze mixing with tears as he tried to dismiss the Gaster Blasters, tried to call them off…but Error Sans kept them still and he couldn’t get rid of the Blasters. The lich’s will was overriding his own…

But then salvation came. Shinedown had hidden in the shadows, slinking through the town and going around them, and now his chain shot out, wrapping around Caribojangles’s neck, tugging him back, breaking his concentration. Error Sans flopped to the ground, Sans panting and heaving as Chara and Asgore rose back up, barely alive…but alive. Shinedown, meanwhile, was wrapping his hooves around the lich’s heart, trying to wrench it out, tug it out…

The caribou looked up at him, smirking coldly. “Don’t you know it’s rude to reach into someone’s chest?” He remarked, kicking Shinedown squarely in the-

“OOOOOOOH.” Chara cringed, Shinedown flopping off the Caribou lich, clutching his crotch. “Damn, man. You are cold. But hey. The nards are fair game.”

Asgore was now furious. He held his trident up and roared, and burning purplish/blue flames shot forth, surging at the Caribou, who managed to roll away…except for one that bathed over his leg.

And a look of pure, absolute, total horror came over his eyes. A brief, disturbed frenzy that made him quickly tried to pat it out, howling and gasping as Asgore’s eyes widened, Shinedown realizing what was going on as he tried to rise up.

“You’re still afraid of the fire…” Shinedown whispered coldly, realizing what Sombra had done had left an indelible stamp. And with that, he reached into his pouch, and with a shaking hoof, blew dust at the leg and the little flame.

And with that, the flame BLEW up in a horrific blaze, the lich screeching and howling as Asgore realized now was the time. Error Sans shot his blue wires forth, Asgore holding his trident high as more and more fireballs rose up, aiming squarely down at the now-trapped lich as Shinedown rolled away, Chara helping him up as Sans clenched his fist.

“gonna be a HOT TIME in the old town tonight.” He wryly chuckled, as bones jammed into the lich’s hooves, his legs, his arms, helping along with Error Sans to keep him further still. Panicked and howling and screaming, Caribojangles’s mind was to positively terrified to think of any incantation that could free him, as wave after wave of flame barreled down on him over and OVER AND OVER-

And then, at last, Chara coldly walked over to the ashes, where a single beating heart laid, diseased and maggot-infested as he frowned darkly. “I’ll bet there’s some spell on it that keeps IT from dying too. Let’s put it in a box or something and dump it in the ocean where nobody’ll ever find it.” He grumbled.

“Or better yet…” Error Sans remarked with a wink.

And then, in an instant, they realized what he was up to, and suddenly the heart was gone, Error Sans now teleported atop a nearby roof. “It’s been fun. Really. Had a REAL great time with all of you. But a magic item this powerful, I can’t just let it go to waste.” He chuckled. “Not when there’s so much fun to be had with it! I knew I might need it, so I admit…I kinda held back against him.”

Sans growled darkly, eyes turning into dark sockets. “you didn’t go all out just so you could steal his…dirty pool.”

“Yeah. Ain’t I a stinker?” Error Sans laughed, vanishing an instant later as Asgore collapsed to his knees, panting and heaving as Chara raced over to him, Shinedown wobbling over to Sans, putting a hoof on his shoulder.

“It’ll be alright. We’ll get him eventually.” He offered. “We take this as a win.”

Meanwhile, down in the underground tunnelways, Sombra calmly stood there, Chrysalis and Discord chatting amongst each other as they headed for another exit, Squirt glancing at Sombra, who looked back at him.

“You don’t want to come with us?”

“…I’m not truly one of you.” He spoke up. “Do not forget this. Our interests aligned. But I can’t very well join you. The multiverse itself is the greatest challenge to overcome. It needs to end, child. You didn’t see what I see. Didn’t endure what I endured. It’s easy for you to dismiss me…you’ve not felt the sheer, raw, cosmic horror of beholding so many universes at once. It would…break lesser men.”

“Maybe it already did.” Squirt said sadly, looking Sombra over, his eyes quiet and thoughtful. “Maybe you ARE broken and you just don’t realize it.”

“Maybe.” Sombra admitted. “But if there’s even the smallest chance I’m right…I have to take that chance. For the sake of true freedom from imposed fate.”

“I never believed in fate anyway.”

“I didn’t either.” Sombra said, slowly vanishing into the shadows. “And you can see how well THAT turned out, little one.”

With that, he was gone…leaving Squirt behind with shadows and dust as he bit into his lip. He hoped that the Caribou were far away enough now. He hoped the others were alright. And he really, really hoped that Sombra was wrong.

And that what he did…DID matter.

…

…

…

… “I did…all that?”

Nick looked at the screen, staring almost stupidly before he covered his face and breathed in deep. He sighed slowly, shaking his head back and forth before cracking his fingers, readying to write again.

“I need to be more careful.” He muttered. “I guess it was just too easy an out that I gave them. But I hope at least SOMETHING good came from it.” He remarked as an idea began to come to him…and he began to furiously type.

Indeed, within a few days, Discord was stopping at Saddle Arabia, finding Celestia was there with a large group of native Saddle Arabians, all of whom were carefully tending to the bushes and the trees, pouring water on them, harvesting the flowers, making sure the grass stayed green and the waters cool, drinkable and safe. She smiled, turning to Discord as he looked about.

“Why all the help?”

“This kind of place needs constant care.” Celestia said. “Because if you let it slide? If you take your eyes off of it too long, neglect it too much, it’ll rot and die. You have to always be trying to keep it clean, and fresh, and good. Always TRYING.” She insisted, her tone becoming soft, and her eyes becoming far, far away. “This is how it’s almost always going to be for most things. If you’re not always trying, the standards slide. Good gardens require constant upkeep, after all, if you want them to stay beautiful. But I think it’s worth it.”

She knelt down by a bed of flowers, sniffing at it before raising her majestic head back up. “Don’t you?”

“It’ll be hard to try and be everywhere at once.”

“I don’t have to be. Because we ALL will be. More so than we used to.” She said, gesturing at the caretakers around her. “Now would you like to help me tend to the lake? Some idiots have foolishly left picnic trash floating around.”

“…maybe just this one time.” Discord said, taking out a harmonica and playing a little tune, the garbage slowly floating up, up and through the air as Celestia brought out a bag, the two tending to the little garden with their little ponies. Meanwhile, a father gently put a hoof upon his adopted son, overlooking Ponyville as the moon bathed over them softly.

“You’ve done me proud.” Shinedown admitted softly. “That was a brilliant idea, Squirt. Your birth parents don’t know what they were missing, giving you up.”

“…how do you know how to kill?” Squirt finally asked. “You never told me how you got that…hard. And…and cold.”

His adopted father was silent for a long time. Then…

“I…hurt people I thought were hurting others. I didn’t realize they were just slaves to someone even worse. But that doesn’t magically make what I did go away. So I have to keep being good, and doing good, to make up for what I did. It’s like C.S Lewis said. By maintaining our goodness we regain our innocence.” He said, ruffling Squirt’s hair. “And that?”

He smiled.

“That’s the best damn feeling in the world.”

“Nah. I think THIS is.” Squirt said, gently wrapping his arms around his adopted dad, and hugging him tightly.

“You might be right.” Shinedown said, returning the soft hug, and letting the innocence wash over him.

Comments

[Dirty Bit]

I spotted the Drawn Together, Spongebob, and Return of the King references

[ngrey651]

7267289

Why, thank you kindly!

[ngrey651]

7267268
I LIVE for little Easter eggs like that, honestly. ;)

[Lazy_]

Just a quick question... So has Chara lost some LV? Because judging by his first chapters when he was still a power craving murderer, he's pretty powerful. For some reason he feels... less capable? Or maybe Cariboujangle really is just that powerful? Could just be me not quite recalling the earlier chapters better. Because at the height of his power Chara was literally unstoppable, the only way to slow him down was to just not get hit.

He's not very tough in comparison to other monsters such as Asgore and Undyne, both of which are battle-hardened warriors so that's understandable. He's just a bit squishy. But in terms of strength and attack, nothing beat Chara.

Nut I suppose him being OP would just make this too boring, eh?

[ngrey651]

7267893
He's not as powerful without the anomaly in them, yeah. That was my thinking. That AND the fact that Caribojangles really IS just that powerful...

But don't worry, I'll definitely bringing him back. A character that awful deserves a full-on, Chara-showing-no-mercy one-on-one beatdown.

[Mother3Forever]

7267893 Meh, I just figured Chara Either Purged himself of a bunch of EXP, or he locked a bunch of it behind a mental block.

[ngrey651]

7268713
They're living in a world of cardboard...afraid that just one punch not held back will bring it all crashing down...

[Fireeaters]

7270033 Yes.