Unlike Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk, the siren Adagio Dazzle is neither a childish idiot nor an apathetic layabout. She has vision. She has purpose. She has drive.
So when – after their spectacular defeat at the hands of the Rainbooms – the trio of terror wind up incarcerated as a result of another failed scheme, she utterly refuses to take it lying down. Nothing in her past has taught her to accept failure. Nothing.
However, the longer she spends in this cell, and the more she has to put up with the irritations and insults of the other two, the more she starts to wonder if something else is going on. Something far more sinister than yet another tedious setback.
Chapters (1)
EDIT (as of Saturday 14th April 2018): The ending has been changed in response to constructive criticism provided via PM. More details can be found in this comment.
Continuity: For the sake of clarity, please see the disclaimer below for details.
Disclaimer!
I must admit for the sake of openness that I am not a follower of the Equestria Girls movies in their entirety. In fact, what little I know comes exclusively from clips and second-hand sources available online.
However, this fic was inspired by one element of the second movie that caught my eye (namely, the Dazzlings themselves). I liked the character concept so much that I took the liberty of using these sources as sufficient foundation for a fanfic of my own.
Also, please note: if any details here conflict with any subsequent canon, then that's because I did not search beyond those second movie sources. This was an old and experimental project, and I deliberately chose to keep as close to the original plan as possible.
8860367
Dude. I mean, there's taking artistic liberty, but to do that it's usually a good idea to know what you're liberating yourself from.
This isn't like a JRPG where it makes some sense to gets the cliff's notes or skim LPs/cutscenes if you wanna write fic of the hotties without killing 70+ hours of your life.
You can watch Rainbow Rocks over a lunch break, and all of EQG to date in a single night.
I guess I just don't get it. Or I'm just not reading this disclaimer right.
8860658
Ah. Perhaps I should have clarified what I meant in the original comment, but I'll do it here instead.
Agreed, but I did mention the clips and second-hand sources. This work wasn't done blind, but with some research into the target characters and a general overview of their role, for instance using wikias and the aforementioned clips. Though fair's fair, I didn't go into exhaustive detail regarding the list of sources (I suspected it would be tedious to read a list).
As for the rest of the comment, I appreciate the broader point of having an advantage by being far more familiar with more of the work. But by and large, I'm afraid I don't see the problem, any more than, say, I see the problem in hearing reviews/talk via the grapevine, going ahead to pick-and-mix episodes from within a season (or picking a film series: say, Batman) and then skipping certain episodes/films for your viewing pleasure. The principle of selection is the same.
Sure, I'm not as comprehensive as, say, someone who watches everything there, and I accept that. But that's why I put the disclaimer up, so people could make their own decisions before reading.
Of course, I could be persuaded to mark it as "Alternate Universe" if it's felt that's really needed.
Frankly, though, I'm not interested in watching everything under the Equestria Girls banner. Just the parts that sound interesting enough to check out. Other people differ, which is fine by me. To each their own, after all. So long as people are aware ahead of time of what I'm doing. That seems fair to me.
Overall, this seems perfectly straightforward to me, but I can elaborate if you'd like further clarification.
8860815
What I'm confused about is the word "clips", tbh. I suppose that's what I wish to ask for clarification on.
The amount of research recommended for the Sirens is the length of a single 70-minute movie that's fairly self-contained. After that, you're straight-up done unless you wanna use that one soft-canon comic that got made of them. If "clips" means "I watched Rainbow Rocks" then please correct me and, shoot, I'll shut up immediately.
But my takeaway from the disclaimer was that not even that was done, which is the source of my confusion.
Either way: in the end, you do you. The Sirens aren't even that deep as characters in terms of story, but they are deceptively deep as personalities, which I feel watching the movie conveys far better than any wikia or scattered video story segment. You clearly had time to write 16,000 words, thus I was confused as to (if this is indeed the case) what left watching Rainbow Rocks out of reach, is all. Usually these kinds of stories are written based off of press releases/trailers for things that aren't out yet.
Which may be the case given that you say this was an old project.
8860926
This was at least a couple of years ago, but I vaguely remember watching: the songs, a few of those Youtube "best bits of" or the like, and possibly chunks of the full movie video once I used spoilers and summaries elsewhere to skip to the bits I wanted (mlp.wikia.com, for instance, is helpful in this regard).
As for your general confusion regarding film-watching, It's not a question of quantity of time; by analogy, the fact that I can eat a certain culinary dish in its entirety doesn't mean I'd like to. Since I was never exactly on the EqG craze to begin with, beyond picking out a couple of interesting ideas and picking up their general details from, say, wikias (a tactic I use for some of the background characters too), I had no real interest in watching a full movie.
Granted, it's not an orthodox approach, but hopefully I've made my "pick-and-mix" point clear enough by now.
EDIT: Updating rating to "Teen". Most of it's fine, but in hindsight I think the ending is just too dark for an "Everyone" tag to stick. So I'm changing the rating to play it safe.
Probably should have done that earlier, and I apologize if I caught some people out by failing to do so. On the other hand, since the most questionable elements are the implication (chiefly because it's implication) that Aria starved/fell completely ill and the fight between a crazed Adagio and Sonata, though I wasn't sure if it was just a bog-standard action scene, I wasn't entirely sure at the time of publication if the ambiguity of the former, and the level that the latter reached, were sufficient to tip it into Teen territory. The fact that it's also a horror story made it harder to judge, since the genre by definition demands darker-than-usual elements.
Would value some feedback on this, as I'm still not entirely sure.
8861832
Indeed, things are clear for me now. Thank you for your clarification, and your honesty.
I've said my piece and I stand by it, so I need say no more. The rest is up to the readers.
EDIT: Based on some constructively helpful criticism I've received via PM, I've modified the ending, as the execution of the piece did not match my intention. For those wanting to know what the changes are:
With the choice at the end, it's implied that, if Adagio gives up her siren pride and eats the "mortal muck" along with Sonata, the thing will be revealed as a test and she'll go free, but as a normal human. The complication is that this is coming from Sonata, who may be influenced by Star Swirl, or who may just be speculating, and Adagio can't tell if she's really seeing Star Swirl in Sonata's eyes or if she's going mad.
I made the edit to change the nature of the horror to something a little more like a dilemma based on character choice in the face of ambiguity, and less like we're just watching these three suffer unnecessarily. Would appreciate feedback on this point if anyone is willing to give any.
Thanks again, and apologies for my initial fumble on this point when I first published the story.
Ey I really enjoyed this one, good job.
8870061
Thank you for the nice comment. I was worried I'd messed it up after the initial publication and feedback, but it's at least good to know that some people are enjoying it.
It’s remarkable how you’ve taken an unlikeable (IMO) trio, put them in a situation where they act callously to each other, and made them sympathetic. The misery of their prison comes through in details like the camera that squeaks but doesn’t seem to move and the gruel that fills up a human but won’t sustain a siren. Even though they’re literal monsters, their punishment feels too cruel, and the chance of redemption too remote. Building up siren history and exploring the predatory ecosystem between sirens, changelings, and windigos was fascinating, too.
The structure of the story (16K words in one scene without breaks) actually reinforced all that strain for me. I’m used to stories with some sort of scene change every few thousand words, so having to stick with this same scene for so long left me feeling a little cabin feverish.
As for the ending, the sympathy built up earlier turned this from a “quit being evil” choice to an “abandon who you are” dilemma. However, given Adagio’s waning sanity and the existential weirdness of the prison, I got the impression that both options were ruses, and her situation was ultimately hopeless. I couldn’t tell what choice she made, but I felt certain she’d regret it.
Also, I’m a fan of your other stories and was happy to see an updated one pop up on EqD given your last blog post. Are you thinking of getting back into writing fanfics, or are you moving on to new projects?
9148668
Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to write me this detailed comment. Especially when I'm trying different genres, it's valuable to get such a wealth of feedback.
Regarding the Dazzlings' sympathetic qualities: Pretty much what you said. I did make it easy by stacking the deck against them, so they come off as more sympathetic than they otherwise would have. If nothing else, it's easy to see where their nastiness comes from when they're stuck in that stressful situation. Although my favourite part was giving those historical details about sirens, partly because I've always wondered how an emotion-based ecology would work, partly because I identify more with Adagio's stubborn determination at that point.
Heh, good point on the structure reflecting the content. I was wondering if I was doing the right thing there, given how long it goes without any breaks. That sort of "form reflects content" approach is always a stylistic gamble.
The ending I've been told could use some improvement. I had intended it to be open-ended so as to make the story more thought-provoking and possibly even scarier, but I think far from being a haunting moment like I'd hoped, it seems to have struck a few readers as too dark and hope-crushing. I really don't want to change it, if only because I stand by my original intention, but it is something I'd likely have to use more carefully in the future, if it puts off too many people.
Speaking of the future, alas I simply don't know. I'd like to write more stories and ponyfic, yes, but it's proven to be a bit stressful. At the very least, I'd have to rethink my whole approach and my writing schedule.
I wish I could be more decisive and certain, but that's the best I can say for now. It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.
Well, that was a trip.
Sometimes the horror of ambiguity is its own payoff.
9149472
Thank you! Glad you liked it, especially the ambiguity. Great to see.
Here, have a stupidly late review notification, and the upvote and fave that come with it. Bearing in mind you're not what I called a "watch-everything EqG person", I really enjoyed this -- the look into Sonata's character especially. Nicely judged in its ambiguity, I also felt.
10235043
Thanks, though I've been aware of that review for a while.
At the time of writing, yes. These days, not so much: I have since watched three of the films, two specials, and the three "Tales of Canterlot High" episodes (Dance Magic, Movie Magic, Mirror Magic). Still not "watch-everything", mind, if we're going for full accuracy. Not a massive fan, either, if we're going for full honesty, but it did yield some interesting concepts and characters for future writing (fingers crossed).
10235145
I assumed you were. I'm just filling in the (too many) gaps in my notifications and trying to get something approaching up to date!