• Published 2nd Mar 2016
  • 2,134 Views, 62 Comments

One Night In A Storm - Shrink Laureate



Seeking shelter from a storm, a gryphon and a pony must share a small cave.

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Epilogue — Morning

Morning broke beautifully, the dawn cutting between two distant mountains and slicing straight down the valley to shine into the cave.

“Yikes! I had no idea this cave was facing east. Give it a rest, Celestia,” Brûlée said, throwing her hooves in front of her eyes.

Blinking, Brûlée cast her eyes over the gryphon. Ava had covered her face with a wing and gone back to sleep. Her body slowly shifted with her breath, revealing soft white down under the mottled brown and white feathers. Her powerful leonine back legs twitched slightly as she dreamt, and her tail flicked nervously back and forth.

Just yesterday, Brûlée would have seen a creature like this as nothing but a dangerous predator, one of the monstrous things you find in the wilderness. Now she saw... what? A friend? A kindred spirit?

She’d never made friends quickly or easily, either at home or among the other students. Could it really be this easy? Just a few short hours, a few secrets shared, a few tears shed? Was that really all it took?

She stood slowly, careful not to disturb the sleeping gryphon, letting feeling seep back into her legs with a slow tingle as she sidled out of the cave.


Brûlée demurely lowered her tail, and turned with barely a glance behind her. In the last two days she’d had to get used to doing her business outside, but still felt ashamed each time. She couldn’t help but imagine somepony just round the corner, seeing her do something unseemly, somepony who would tell stories... but of course there wasn’t. There were no other ponies within miles of this place.

She trotted back into the clearing, feeling a faint blush under her hair. Ava had woken up and was standing outside the cave, stretching her legs and wings. She looked infuriatingly bright and well rested. “Hey there! I thought you’d run off.”

“No, just...” Brûlée indicated behind her with a hind hoof. She didn’t imagine the gryphon had ever encountered indoor plumbing.

Ava nodded. “Sure. I’m going to have some breakfast before we head off. You should do the same if you can. It’s no fun flying on an empty stomach.”

Ava stuck her head in the cave and dragged her bags out with her beak, pulled the rabbit from them and started tearing it into strips with her beak and talons. Brûlée watched the bloody show for a few moments, horrified to realise that the gryphon actually had a line of sharp little teeth inside her beak, a sight that was sure to give her nightmares.

Her doubts came back, hard. She had no reason to trust this creature! Sure, it would be embarrassing to break her promise, but was that really worth the risk of travelling with a ferocious wild animal?

“Wild animal.”

That’s exactly what Gosling had been called. She was reminded of Ava’s tears the night before – tears not for herself, but for a brother she loved. She’d rushed to defend him, and was devastated to have let him down. It had been a mistake, and seen by the ponies of that town as evidence of how wild and dangerous Ava was; but to Brûlée it was the opposite, proof that Ava did feel love, just as surely as a pony.

Logic insisted that a creature would inevitably return to its nature, regardless of how much it stood to gain from not doing so. Logic told Brûlée not to trust Ava, not to stay with her any longer than necessary, not to give her a chance to show her true nature.

Logic be damned.

Shaking her head to scatter the stray thoughts, she cast a glance over the undergrowth. Trudging through it last night, buffeted by the rain and wind, had obscured her sight; all she’d seen were bushes and ferns. Looking at it now, she could see at least a few tufts of wild grass, mixed up with all sorts of other plants she couldn’t identify, and all of them decorated with shining drops of dew. Normally she’d be hesitant to risk eating something unknown and potentially poisonous, but right now she had little choice. She was starving, and it would be foolish to travel without eating something.


Ava sailed down through the trees and landed next to Brûlée.

“There’s a stream up ahead. Head left a bit for a place you can cross it more easily.”

“Thanks,” Brûlée said, turning left as she carefully threaded her way through the branches and roots. She was walking through a muddy puddle, getting even more mess on her legs, but that balloon had long since sailed. The bright morning sun was drying her off quickly, even filtered through the trees. “Without you I’m sure I’d just be going round in circles all day.”

“That’s okay, I’m not in a hurry.”

“How far did you say that town is?”

“At the speed you’re going? We should get there by nightfall.”

Brûlée paused to take another bite of grass and wild flowers with a dressing of fresh rain and dew. There was some wild garlic mixed in there, adding a sharp aromatic tang. She chewed thoughtfully, wondering if there was any way she could incorporate that savoury bite into a dessert without it being disgusting.

Ava looked thoughtful. After a while she asked, “Are you really going to make enough food for hundreds of ponies?”

Brûlée shook her head and swallowed. “You mean the competition? No, I’ll only be cooking for a small panel of judges. Three or four ponies. They’ll be the ones to decide which of our dishes is better.”

“So it doesn’t matter what the rest of the town thinks at all, just if the judges like it, right?”

“That’s right, but it’s still a show. We’ll be expected to perform for the crowd,” said Brûlée. “We have to cook dramatically.” The thought of it still hung over her.

“So, who are these judges?”

“Er... I’m not really sure yet. Probably the mayor for one, he never says ‘no’ to free food. And Rum Truffle said I could pick one of them, to keep it fair. I’ve no idea who I’ll pick though.”

They walked a little further, and Brûlée caught sight of the glimmer of a stream ahead.

“You know,” Ava said with a mischievous grin, “there probably aren’t many ponies out there who know what sort of food a gryphon likes.”

Once Brûlée caught on, she was stunned. She stopped walking to stare at Ava. “Are you suggesting...”

Ava nodded. “I can spare a few days. And I’m curious. You’ve been talking about these things you make, but I still have no idea what they are. So why not let me come with you and be one of the judges?”

“But wouldn’t that be... cheating?”

“Not at all. I promise to try them both and pick fairly. You can even hide from me which one is yours, if that helps.”

Brûlée started laughing.

She was hungry, and thirsty. She’d gained any number of scrapes and scratches from pushing her way through the forest. She was dishevelled, caked with mud and dust and tears and blood and, yes, gryphon snot. She had no clothes, no tools, nor a single bit to her name. The next pony she met would probably run away screaming. But despite all that, with the sun warming her flanks, a friend by her side and a plan ahead of her, this morning felt good.

Comments ( 51 )

You do know if u wanted this would make a good horror fic plotline

Great story! loved it!:pinkiehappy:

P.S. sequel? (I wanna know how the bake-off ends!)

Zal

This is my frist comment on the site and I am makeing it because this story deserves it. I really enjoyed reading this its just really enjoyable and I liked it a lot.

Thank you! For a nervous new writer, that means a lot.

I'm currently working on some improvements based on feedback I've got. They won't fundamentally change the story, just tighten it up slightly.

6999685
I may do something with the same characters in the future, but not a direct continuation. I think the uncertainty is an important part of the story. Being told that things work out well in a story is easy; having the resolve to do them when you don't know is hard.

"Do or do not. There is no try." -- I wonder how many iterations that line of the script went through before they were happy with it?

Some edits have been published.

What a lovely pair of characters, symmetrical in ways that make you think. I really enjoyed this story. :)

Reminded me a little the predator-prey issue from Zootopia.

Very nice - compact, good characters, good pace.

Brûlée watched the bloody show for a few moments, horrified to realise that the gryphon actually had a line of sharp little teeth inside her beak,

It was then that Brulee realized griffons were, in fact, xenomorphs. She then found out Ava had implanted her with a facehugger during the night. :trollestia:

Logic insisted that a creature would inevitably return to its nature, regardless of how much it stood to gain from not doing so.

Actually, that's not logic, if I might be semi-serious for a moment. That's actually a highly presumptuous notion which ignores direct evidence of individual differences in temperament, the effects of differing evolutionary pressures upon behavior, the effect of environmental upbringing influencing development, and the significant effects of possessing a sapient mind capable of performing conscious and cognizant thought processes rather than relying entirely upon emotion.

There are a number of bird species which dramatically depart from basic instinctual behaviors when presented with a more optimal set of circumstances. Crows, African Grey parrots, and keas have shown an extraordinary level of adaptability... in the keas' case even to the point of learning predatory behaviors to take advantage of slow, stupid sheep in New Zealand.

Intelligence permits an animal to behave in manners far exceeding an baseline instinctual response. Logic accounts for this in any process of analyzing and forming decisions about a creature's behavioral tendencies.

I am a super-genius and know this instinctually. :trollestia:

7103772

"Mmmmmm... a big handsome griffon hunting me..." Brulee drooled. :rainbowwild:

Hey! Stop pornographising my characters. I'm saving that for the sequel. :twistnerd:

An enjoyable read. I like the concept and the characters. The predator-prey dynamic is something I think a lot of people overlook. Ponies are, technically, a prey animal, but usually get written as dominant omnivores. (like humans.) Many stories would me greatly improved, I think, by acknowledging the actual position in the food web that ponies would naturally occupy.

I will say the ending left me wanting a bit. This reads more like a prologue than an independent story. As a prologue, though, it would certainly get me reading the rest.

As for the writing itself, You're pretty good at remembering little details, but you do miss* some of the macro stuff.
I think it could do with a good bit more granular detail, as that helps a lot with immersion.
(*Or possibly fail to explain/mention it.)

Overall, I like it. Keep up the good work.

7128794

Ponies are, technically, a prey animal, but usually get written as dominant omnivores. (like humans.)

As depicted in the show, there aren't many natural predators around that ponies need to be afraid of, at least in the civilised areas. Outside of the settled lands, things can get more hairy. We've seen various large and dangerous creatures both in the badlands, and closer to home in the Everfree forest, quite close to Ponyville.

static.dhne.ws/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/0.jpg

There's a clear ecological difference between the settled and wild areas of the world, even when they're close together. This suggests that, as part of their prehistory, the ponies successfully exterminated or drove away a lot of the pre-existing megafauna.

This isn't at all unlike humans, who wiped Europe, Asia and the Americas clean of a great many big, dangerous creatures as they spread. And it wasn't even an organised campaign, we did it inadvertently. As climates changed, we adapted faster than they did. But even now, if you were faced with a saber-toothed tiger, and hadn't brought modern weapons and armour with you, you wouldn't be top of the food chain very long. Humans didn't climb all the way to the top of tree; we just chopped the top of the tree down.

I have a future story planned that goes into the history of gryphon-pony relations, and why predation is no longer a thing.

7128933 I didn't mean they are currently being preyed upon. They once were a prey animal and would still have the inbuilt instincts of one. Especially considering the ultra dangerous fauna of the world they inhabit. Humans still exhibit many instinctual behaviors that are entirely unhelpful in modern society.

Human psychology is founded in predation. Not from the top, but pretty close. Ponies would be much farther down the ladder. But at the end of the day, you are writing your world and you should write it your way. Still a good story.

(I hope I don't come across as preachy or argumentative. I'm just trying to clarify what I was getting at.)

Oh, I totally agree. A lot of the herd behaviour we see from ponies - even in the TV show - can be seen in that light. For example, the way Ponyville collectively shunned Zecora is exactly the way a herd huddles together as protection from a predator. Twilight is an exception in that case because: 1. she's spent her life to that point in Canterlot, far away from anything dangerous; 2. she's really really powerful, even before her ascension; and 3. she's used to working alone. She doesn't know fear the way a typical pony does.

At the same time though, humans have more in common with that herd mentality than is commonly understood. We tend to assume that humans are top of the food chain, and Hollywood has popularised the strong, solitary, lone wolf protagonist since before films were in colour. But early humans survived by working together more than by individual strength, and a lot of our social instincts are founded in that. It's interesting to explore the psychological aspects of a sapient prey creature precisely because it's not so entirely alien.

I would imagine, in the far distant future when we finally get out to exploring space, that we won't meet many tiger equivalent species in the black. Even if top-tier carnivores evolved the intelligence needed to achieve such things as space flight, they'd have a much harder time collaborating socially because they don't have an evolutionary history of it. A grand endeavour, like a space rocket or a massive stone pyramid, can only be achieved collectively. Ponies in space I can totally believe - they'd probably favour larger world ships with nature-like environment inside.

I'm glad to see that many are liking this story:twilightsmile:
(To everyone that is reading this; keep an eyes on this author. There's plenty more where this came from:rainbowdetermined2:)

7410619 That's just the preferred British spelling.

I feel that either British or American spelling is valid on an international site like this, but each story should be consistent. Since I'm never going to adjust to American spellings of eg "armour", I stick to British throughout.

Except for the word "manoeuvre", that I simply cannot get right in either form.

I was pretty sad to see it end there. I was really enjoying these characters.

Added the 'gryphons' tag.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

8634629

Is their any hope for an new chapter?

8634987
I've had some possible sequel thoughts, but they wouldn't be an immediate continuation.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

94 up, 0 down, that's a well-earned rating. :D

8857707
100 up, 0 down. Thanks for the boost!

A Hundred and One Upvotes! Congratulations, you deserve every one of them.

8883569
And a teensy little OCD bit of me is disappointed that it's no longer a round number.

Wait! No, come back!

8883599
The funny thing is, I totally sympathize. I was actually somewhat reluctant to upvote just for that reason. Then again, another part of me was glad to do it, both for the sake of the pun and for whatever reason cats knock stuff off tables.

7130362
Humans are pack predators.

A pack tends to be a group of animals working closely together, like a pack of wolves. Packs have a very strong hierarchy where there is a very clear pecking order going from the alpha to the omega. (Yes, I know that the alpha is just the parent wolves)

Herds tend to be larger groups with no real structure or hierarchy involved. Sure there may some difference between the strong bulls and weak calves, but there is not a clear, organized pecking order. Herds are just a bunch of animals walking or living together, like a herd of buffalo. Since herds are so much better than packs at protecting against predation, they mostly consist of prey animals/herbivores.

What a magnificent piece of work! One of the best things I've read in a while!

9419479 Do we have enough money? (checks the world banks... and has an unpleasant surprise) Uhmmm... there's a whole lot of IOUs in there... :unsuresweetie:

9419725 If you put the silver all on one side, though, you'd be dramatically altering the asteroid's center of mass and total mass... this would also change its rotation rate. If it spun too quickly, it could become gyroscopic and LESS likely to be perturbed from its projected course!

We must perform many calculations and simulations with a supercomputer.. which we will clearly have to custom-build since the computations to qualify every variable of every coin and scrap of paper money are FAR beyond the capabilities of any existing system! This is a CRITICAL PROJECT to the safety of the planet!

I think our budget should be at least equal to the Department of Energy.

(Retires 3 years later after buying Hawaii...) Ah, I just love government waste... when it's profitable to me. :trixieshiftright:

:trollestia:

9419979
If you propel it fast enough... say 99.9999999...% the speed of light, you can easily destroy it (and maybe turn it into a black hole)

9420145 No, a black hole would require symmetrical implosion of its mass into a singularity. An impact at near light speed would simply cause a huge explosion, likely releasing high-energy X-rays, ionized nuclei travelling at high speeds (cosmic rays), individual protons and neutrons from atomic nuclei that actually smashed together, and maybe gamma rays too depending on what the asteroid was composed of.

Now, might be able to do that if we could accelerate the money into all sides of the asteroid simultaneously at 99.99999999% the speed of light. But I don't know if we can generate that type of high-volume cash flow. :trollestia:

9420145 9420261
I don't think colliding it with money from every direction would work either. Even if you had a perfectly smooth distribution of coinage propelled at it from all directions, those coins would be meeting an imperfectly shaped asteroid so there'd be differential pressure. Before you reached critical mass to form a black, parts of the mass would escape, releasing the pressure.

What you might achieve from a high energy symmetrical money implosion is enough pressure to replicate a very small, bright sun. Even unevenly distributed, that pressure would be enough to make the hydrogen, helium and other light elements within the asteroid begin fusion. However, the heavier metals from the coinage would begin on the outside, while the lighter materials the asteroid was made of would begin on the inside - the exact opposite of a real sun, where the heavy elements sink down. Gravity and pressure would very quickly invert that situation, as the asteroid flipped itself inside out and released a hot gaseous blowout.

Most metals used in coins are either heavier than iron, or at least close to it. A pound coin, for example, consists of copper, zinc and nickel. Nuclear fusion of anything heavier than iron releases less energy than it took to create. This results in a sudden cooling of fusion in the core of a star when they start producing iron, resulting in the entire gravity-pressure-fusion edifice collapsing. So that initial gaseous blowout would be followed by a heavy metal explosion.

If you did manage to create a black hole, the Hawking radiation from one that small means it would be the brightest object in the sky and would shine for millions of years.

(
An asteroid with a mass equal to the Apophis asteroid, plus a bit for the money: 3×1010 kg
Event horizon radius: 4.45×10-17 m
Luminosity: 3.96×1011 W
Lifetime: 2.2×1015 seconds
)

Also, since your money implosion was symmetrical, and therefore had zero total momentum, it would still be headed straight for Earth.

9420558 So what you're saying is I need a whole bunch of coins made out of plutonium that I then need to slam at light speed into the perfectly spherical once-was-an-asteroid-but-is-now-a-dwarf-planet Ceres.

I CAN DO THIS!!

:pinkiecrazy:

9420580 Wait... we WEREN'T trying to destroy the Earth in the most awesome way imaginable?

O..oh... (quickly cancels his huge plutonium order from... THE LIBYANS!! :pinkiegasp:

Heh, they think I'm going to build them a nuke. You'd think after "Back to the Future" they'd have learned better!

:pinkiecrazy:

9419725
I was actually picturing about a cubic kilometre of coins travelling in a shotgun-like cloud and hitting at a bit less than light speed. My imagination isn't a subtle place.

I do like your idea of steering the asteroid by changing the albedo of one side, though.

9420784
I can't take any credit for that. The actual real world plan, if an asteroid needs deflecting, is to cover one side of it in shiny reflective foil.

9420580
No, not an explosion...

Just accelerate the money too he speed of light and HIT THE ROCK HEAD ON!!!

KABOOM!!!

If the object has more then 0 mass, you are going to have a blast!

9420807
Few ideas are truly original. I'm pretty sure whoever thought of wrapping an asteroid in foil had previously seen other things wrapped in foil to make them reflective.

9420950 9420941 9420603
I'm starting to wonder if we got off topic somewhere. You know I have some sci fi stories too, right?

7129876
I never understand why people act as if rare tiger attacks somehow prove that humans are not apex predators.

Humans are only apex predators in our pack... like our fellow apex predators, wolves, we find strength in numbers, leadership, and loyalty.

Contrary to popular belief, lone wolves (wolves that leave their pack) are very, very likely to die unless they find another group to join. They have a very hard time hunting on their own, often having to resort to scavenging other predators meals.

how ever, you don't see anyone questioning weather wolves are Apex Predators or not.

9420807
When will you make a sequel UwU

This was a really cute and thoughtful story and I really enjoyed reading it

Lovely little story, thank you!

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