This is a collaboration with Fallout!
I DO NOT OWN THE PICTURE
Four humans gone to Equestria in hope to share with humanity. But one more came. An orphan child. He tries to fit in, but it's impossible. After left at Equestria, Celestia, the princess of most ponies, finds the child. She decide to raise him on her own. Soon asking the other humans for there help with a few things. Will our h-
Wait, this isn't the story of the four humans?
It's about the child?
Well then!
Will this child survive? Or will he...er.....live a none happy life? Let's see!
Chapters (3)
This... needs work. I don't mean to hate on it, but it needs work.
Tense changes. Punctuation. Who are the characters? Backstory? Are we supposed to just "get" the plot like that?
I'm sorry, I really don't want to attack your writing, but this seriously needs a lot of work.
Also...
"One"?
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I use images when I don't know what to say :D
Why is Celestia's butt so huge in the picture?
It's not the worst story I've seen. I don't understand who the characters are, what they are, and how they act.
But it is still readable for me. So if I see a new chapter it is gonna get read!
6883902 it's ok, I'll fix it
6884693 Sorry, I just died there(also it is NOT mine)
6885050 yay! Also most of the characters are probably going to be tossed out later to focus on the main characters.
6884470 .....
....
...
..
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Thanks!
6885467 The kid is actually ok with being adopted. It makes looking at dat ass slightly more ok than it otherwise would be ;) go on kid... Look at it
6885487 XD stop please XD
I'm guessing English isn't your first language, because there's a lot of beginner's errors in the first chapter alone. The wish fulfillment aspect of the story is also tough to get past.
7021890 Sorry!!!! But it's hard to keep up doing this collab the way we are doing it
I really enjoyed this~ Celestia makes a good mother
7031198 Thanks!
Now I understand why you are named ‘Cringe Queen’