• Member Since 7th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen March 25th

Cardinal Dan Productions


I love to write, I love to read, and I love this community! If there's a story I want to read that doesn't exist yet, I'll write it myself.

Sequels1

Comments ( 35 )

Hopefully it's better this time

When I first started reading this, I couldn't help but think of that Firefly episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds." When I saw the scenes, all I could think of was how ... "special" they were. Now let's see what Sadri is up to.

You should have named the chiefs daughter Saffron instead of Sadri. If Sadri is even her real name.

7643848 Why? It was Sadri in the original story, and Saffron is an existing pony who explicitly isn't an evil mind-controlling gypsy.

All that changing the name would do is cause confusion.

7654652 It's a reference to an episode of Firefly that has a similar beginning as this story.

(Didn't read the old version, so I don't know what's going to happen)
Risky move Celestia, this kind of ennemi should not be imprisoned when defeated, but killed as soon as possible. Mind Control (especially of this sort) is the worst evil there is and deserves no leniency

(However, even with my burning hatred for any form of mind control, I can't deny that the clop was hot... How puzzling.)

7635171 Don't you hate it when your comments don't get a response?

Off to the glue factory with her! :pinkiecrazy:

Okay not really. Maybe a bit of professional counseling. ON THE MOON! :pinkiegasp:

Any chance of a bad ending? I always feel stories like these need one.

Annnnnd now I feel bad for Sadie. Less so for Cadence.

It always falls a little flat for me in fics, when the Equestrians behave cruelly to their prisoners. Why would Canterlot's dungeon be this grim, dank, ill-lit place, etc. It always feels out of character. :rainbowlaugh:

Still an enjoyable story, though! Third time's the charm? :pinkiehappy:

7665707 Headcanon: Sadri was accidentally locked in the wrong dungeon - Cadence's sex dungeon. Also it's kind of the point of dungeons that they serve to "scare 'em straight".

7657810 Yeah, but it becomes evident really early on that the rest of it is decidedly not even remotely related to that Firefly episode.

7667064 I generally imagine them, being the fluffy-lovey sorts that they are, to be big on rehabilitative justice vs. punishment justice. :twilightsmile:

So, this story...I liked it. I like the concept, I liked that you created an original threat.

I don't like how quickly it was over. It took Sadri a few days to control Twilight...and an hour with the other Princesses. Other than Celestia briefly, we never really got a look into her methods, or her motivations, or even her true personality. I still have no idea how Luna wound up controlled, since it happened behind closed doors.

It's a good story, and you had a good setup, leaving the reader wanting, slowly unveiling more...and then it just never came.

Ah, the ending has finally come. An interesting ride. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

I think I am going to stop here. There are a lot of moments in this story that feel rushed and I don't feel anything between the main couple

For those of you unaware, there is an episode of Firefly with this same premise, and now we have it with ponies, AWESOME!

Good chapter!
Just going to point this out, you called Twilight a unicorn, when we know she is an alicorn.

How many times has spike hit his head in one of his many clumsy falls? Is he deaf? Or just stupid...


By the way I'm not criticizing you're work at all, you've done a great job. :derpytongue2:

When I heard the name of the clan why did I think of soul eater.

*head hits desk* God damnit, if you're going to have a plot like this, don't make it stupid or have a big fucking plothole.

Twilight is NOT Married to this village chick. Twilight, is only 'Married' when she has an actual Equestrian Marrage, sactioned by the Equestrian Government. And god damnit, Twilight should know that basic shit!

7787172
Was wondering if someone noticed that.

I FINALLY FOUND THIS STORY!

Twilight just got roffied

Well, better get used to the married life.

That's just scary that in literally a minute or two you could end up married and not even know it. Where did you get the idea? Actual culture or plot device?

I think she'll have trouble with the Princess of love. She's been around the block in probably every way one could imagine. To think she'd be fooled by something like that is a bit hard to believe.
I like the story but it seems rushed a bit. Fast paced.

10469754
The idea actually came from an episode of Firefly. Great show.

8895106

or have a big fucking plothole.

Everyone and everypony has a plot hole. Some have artificial plot holes, and some, indeed, use their plot holes for fuckig.

Personally I think the use of "Pegasi" instead of "Pegasus" is much more annoying. Especially since this is the third fic I've read in a row doing that now.

But we are all just readers of someone else's work. We are not entitled to how they do it - on top of even getting it for free. For all I know we should be happy that we have such an enormous source of fanfics. There are other fandoms that barely exist at all and where there isn't a single fan fic in existence that is after your taste.

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