• Member Since 24th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

PrinceUniversa


PrinceUniversa here, just your normal average brony writing stories for fun, listening to music, seeing adorable pictures and whatnot :D

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The Cutie Mark Crusaders, three young fillies who joined together with one goal etched into their minds, to achieve their cutie marks together. Many trials have they undergone hoping to find their cutie marks each ending in the most hilarious and chaotic ways ponykind or even Discord could possibly imagine. The dream felt like it was far from their grasp yet that did not hinder them to continue on and try it another time.

It was until they finally helped the one pony that needed help the most did they finally achieve their lifelong dream of having their cutie marks together. After they received their cutie marks, their life changed forever as they continue to help others in need of a helping hoof. It seemed that life could not hinder these three fillies from living their lives to the fullest right? Not really...

With their newfound marks, this also was but one step into adulthood and suddenly their friendship takes a turn for the better or worse. What will they now that their friendship goes forward with ideas of adulthood ahead and of a love life? Will their strong friendship become more than just friends or will it break as time marches on? Only fate knows what will be in store for these three fillies...

EDIT: This is in the Popular Stories list on 1/21/16... won't last long but damn, my first story to be in that list...

DOUBLE EDIT: Link to a contest thread right here! Hearts and Hooves Contest! This isn't really important, but it's one of the rules for the contest at hand, so I had to obliged :twilightsmile:

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 58 )

This is really hard to follow so far. Plot and conflict is really really vague

6855807 At the beginning, it's what I'm trying to do, I want them to guess what the conflict is. Plot, eh, I can understand as this is actually my first fiction into the romance genre, so of course there will be mistakes upon this :twilightsheepish:

But I wanted to tackle it and see if I have what it takes to make a good romance fic first try :twilightsmile: if not, well at least I tried to make my best effort into this :raritywink:

Oh I see that romance tag, that means I can hope for my favorite ship: Scootabelle :yay:

6856527 Don't push your luck sir... because this is my first time doing a romance story :twilightsheepish: And ships? Well, I'm leaving that up to interpretation... :rainbowdetermined2:

6856544 Well then I wish you luck in doing a good job on making it. I'll be waiting for more chapters before I start reading it but I'll be watching always watching and I would read it now but, I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

Nice start.

Let's see where this goes. :pinkiesmile:

6857076 Thanks for both the comment and the favorite :twilightsmile: Goodness though, I am still shaking like a baby though from getting this just right :twilightsheepish:

6857080
No problem.

Don't have an seizure on me. :rainbowlaugh:
Need to find yourself a way to release that pent up nervousness.

6857572 What? The fact that this is my first try into the romance genre or just what I'm trying to do here in general? Also thanks for the favorite :twilightsmile:

This is like reverse karma. Diamond is mean, she being them together as friends and consolidate their friendship. She tries to be nice, she destroys the crusaders. :trollestia:

6857580 not interesting as bad interesting as in i want to see how this turns out

6857779 Oh my now that you mention it... how come I did not notice that irony? :rainbowlaugh:

6857986 Oh... well okay then!

It's a good start, I really liked it, BUT I think it could be a lot more descriptive, and, it seemed like Diamond and Silver were going a little to the dark side. Keep going, this has really good potential!:moustache:

6859138 Thank you for the kind words, trust me, I am trembling like a baby upon this story... :twilightblush: This is my first try into the romance genre and even though I gotten a lot of advices from fellow writers and friends, I am still shaking like crazy. I've never felt this much anxiety from writing a single story before :raritydespair:

Nice way to take the basic idea and run with it Universa. That conversation you and your friend had really expanded it is a big way. Well done I say. :eeyup:

6860413 No probs, now if I'm not feeling so nervous about this being my first romance fic :twilightsheepish:

6860526 Relax you're doing fine so far my friend.

Ah yes, nothing like a little suspense mixed in with the romance.

Oh, and I don't mean to be rude when I say this, but you forgot to link to the contest again. :twilightsheepish:

6862639 :facehoof: Thanks, just give me a moment...

but something didn’t felt right with those three

I think that should be "feel" not felt.
Y'know, because felt is past tense, and he's thinking it in that moment?

All three while we’re pleased a bit still bore a look of confusion on their faces

I would write that sentence like this,

All three, while pleased, still bore a look of confusion on their faces

6870143 Thanks for pointing those out, I'll edit them now :twilightsmile:

Okay that was a rather brilliant touch having Diamond and Silver go to Miss Cheerilee about it. She is a very engaged and attentive teacher and would not have missed this turn in events.

6879771 Yeah, originally, I had them coming to their siblings. Then Cheerilee came to mind and I almost facepalmed forgetting the fact that she saw the events as well. I still plan to add the elder sisters into the next chapter as they try to converse with their younger, but otherwise, I'm happy to remember Cheerilee being there. She doesn't get a lot of love sometimes :twilightsmile:

6880331 No she doesn't and she well deserves it. Besides having Miss Cheerilee involved makes thing better for the Crusaders, she does really care about them after all.

6880767 She cares for all her students, but the Crusaders make her more concerned than others at times :twilightsmile:

6880866 Yeah that is not without proper cause either.

So Tiara's master plan was telling someone else about the Crusaders falling apart in order to do the job for her ? Not a convoluted barely effective scheme only kids could think about ? :unsuresweetie:

6901459 Bo honest, I don't think Diamond knows how to rekindle a breaking friendship. The adults probably know so of it better than she does

I just read the few chapters I missed, but why exactly is this story marked complete now?

6921337 Getting the final chapter up and hopefully will publish it soon, just right now, it's going through some redrafts because I want it to sound just right...

6921361
That makes sense, but shouldn't you only mark it complete after that chapter is uploaded?
I'm just saying it might be misleading.

6921414 True I guess... give me a moment.

This was a decent read. :twilightsmile:

6925313 For me, it was fun to write but I think I may take a break from the romance genre :twilightsmile:

6926167
It is quite hard to write right.

Why the hands? Did Lyra show up somewhere?

I took the time to read this story. Its a interesting premise, not one I have seen before personally, and yet, it keeps itself in the realm of something everyone can look at without having to worry about any, adult themed material playing out.

If you had anyone pre-read/edit they did a nice job. if it was all you, then you did quite well as it stands, not many can pull such things off.

Now how you went about this story was simple, straight-forward and without much chance of something going horrendously wrong. Then again this isn't supposed to be some 59 chapter ballad of how it took 36 of those chapters to go find Scootaloo when it was just a case of everypony JUST missing her. And it works for what its meant to accomplish. And if anyone wanted MORE, that truly depends on the writer to pursue or not.

6974719 Thank mate, I'll be frank, I'm still not feeling confident in able to qualify for extended romances as I'm still a bit lacking in how I should write one out. That and honestly, as this was my first one, I'm honestly thinking of stopping there. I mean sure I can write a romance, but for all I know, I'm still lacking in confidence to keep the romance strong even if interesting.

But that doesn't stop my interest in writing the genre, just right now, I want to take a break at the genre :twilightsmile:

6975483

Sometimes you need to horribly, terribly screw up in order to get to where you succeed.

It's all about confidence in yourself, and maybe doing some simple research (by that I mean read a few others stories where they succeeded in their romance bits). Nothing wrong with research..Twilight said so!

6975520 All agreed! Adding to the fact that I've been reading a lot of romance stories lately :twilightblush:

6975544

Glad to hear it. On a unrelated note, have you caught up on Unleash the Magic? It finished yesterday and I noted a lack of your presence.

6975607 Yeah, I did, I just didn't comment lately because I'm still mind-boggled through it all :derpytongue2:

6975627

Well both my self and Firesight are waiting for others comments. Please, share some

Wow, this story..... I have a huge smile on my face from reading it.
Just last year I was thinking of them as being in a triangle relationship and here's the fic for that now!
I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is a literary masterpiece of MLP: FiM fanfiction. The idea of them getting together in a triangle relationship alone is so unique and the way it's executed here is splendid.
It's touching, cute, dramatic, heartwarming and full of joy. I absolutely love it.
And I especially love it that they have decided to accept their romantic feelings for each other and to stay together as a herd, by doing babysteps in their relationship.
Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle together as a herd..... This is without a doubt and matter of factly the cutest thing ever.
My heart is molten now.

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