• Member Since 20th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 6th, 2016

inum76


Well, that was certainly exciting.

E
Source

This is my own fan fic, based on the story, Would It Matter If I Was, by GaPJaxie.

The question of that story aside, there is the matter of how Fluttershy could be a changeling.
And that is what this story is about.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 11 )

Beguining. I believe you may have meant 'beginning'.

6849898
Yes, you are correct! :pinkiehappy:
I also just fixed a few other spelling errors I came across as well.

I am notorious for that. Not fixing errors, but making them. :twilightsheepish:

I also fixed one other. I used bold italics for thoughts. I made them just Italics.

To me, personally, the bold italics looked better, but I know some can be very picky about such things when reading.
And as I looked into it more. Simple italics would do, and I am sure would be seen as more proper.
Would not wish to be improper, now would we? :derpytongue2:

Still learning I'm afraid.

And thank you for the fix. :twilightsmile:
Not good for the title of all things to be miss spelled.
Not that it was the first time I did that. :facehoof:

The filly is just so adorable sometimes! :rainbowkiss:
Also i do love the alternate take on your story and star chaser as well i cant wait for the next chapter.

6856691
I am glad you liked what you have seen so far, but the story is very far form over.
Sorry there is not a lot of action in this story, as you will find. :duck:
I know you like stories with much action.
Though this one does have its little moments. :twilightsmile:

needs after wedding invasion interaction with the family.

I LOVED the story

6999935
Excellent idea! But I think I would leave someone else to come up with that story.

As for timelines and interactions, I did a bit of a goof with something from another story I made. Not exactly related to this one, but does have some OCs in it from this story. Kicker and Misty. In the previous story, in a time long after this, I didn't have them say they knew Fluttershy. I would have to read through it again, But I don't think I had it say they didn't know her either.

It was stated that their filly they had after, didn't know Fluttershy all that well, suggesting they possibly lost contact with her after her move, and didn't tell their little one much about her. That story was written long before this one was even a thought. I think I could have done better in connecting the two stories just the same.

Actually, in the other story, one did tell Kicker of something bad that happened to Fluttershy, And Kicker laughed thinking it was a joke, suggesting that he did know Fluttershy well enough to think it was a joke. He stopped laughing though once he was convinced it was not a joke.

Oh' and glad you enjoyed this one. :twilightsmile:

6999935
Oh, just wanted you to know, I still have been thinking about your suggestion. I have.

I like it, but two reasons I don't want to work on it.

One: I have a longer story still to put out, I have yet to finish, and wish to, some day.
Two: And this, is the big one to me. I don't exactly see how I can make it work. See, as far as I remember on the show, Fluttershy was with the other five during the battle. To my knowledge there would have been no time for her to have been with her parents, during the battle.

The only one possible moment I could see where she might have seen her parents, was when she was preparing the birds to sing, for during the wedding. It would be short, at best, and much too little to write home about, so too speak. So, sorry.

If another can think of a way to make it work, than OK. They are more then welcome to use my OCs if they wish to write it. And I wish whoever, luck, if they wish to try it.

And I do understand any who does use my OCs, may not have them think as I would. Then again, I feel some writers don't get the main six correct, never mind anyone else's OCs. And some don't get the mane six right, on purpose. :derpytongue2:

This story is wonderful. It's cute, funny, sad, happy, dark and joyful. The whole idea behind this is wonderful, and I love how this fits into the fluttershy image. The writing itself could use a few improvements. Dialogs on the begingn seemed a bit off, and there are quite a few grammar mistakes. I know that my grammar is not good, so when I notice errors, I know there have to be more. But overall this was a really plesant read and I am feeling a bit sad that it has ended. Keep doing what you're doing and improving on the way. I wish to read much more from you.

ps: I do wish to see if you decide to make a sequel, maybe even a continuation on "Would It Matter If I Was."

7298780
Thank you for your reply.

This story is wonderful. It's cute, funny, sad, happy, dark and joyful.

Yes, I tend to throw everything into one story, like a big toss salad of emotional moments. Most each of my stories are like that, and just how I like a story to be.

The writing itself could use a few improvements. Dialogs on the begingn seemed a bit off, and there are quite a few grammar mistakes.

The story of my life, when it comes to writing. :facehoof:

Sadly, not sure if I am going to get all that much better than this, for story writing is not one of my main focuses in life. Not to say I don't intend to try to improve though.

Might help if you was to send me a PM, with any list of errors you see that I can look over, and perhaps I might not make the same mistakes again. You know the saying, "Every little bit helps", and I would not know what the errors are myself. Just a suggestion if you feel inclined to do so. :twilightsmile:

I wish to read much more from you.

I am currently rewriting the squeal to the first Kezzerdrix story in the unfinished trilogy. I have been reading a lot of story reviews on other stories, and I intend to make some changes to that story based on what I saw was said is wrong with many other stories.

The fist is rewritten again, and posted on another site. I may re post the new changes here after I make all the changes to both. For now, I am posting my changes on another site, one where it will be new to that site.

Note: The two Kezzerdrix stories I made so far are both a lot more dark than this one. Partly why I think, few happen to like them, among other things. Not really happy stories, either one. But still a focus on Friendships overall with both.

And I wish to continue to make more stories with my main three little OCs. Plunk, Dazzle, and Trooper. The stories I made with them so far is mostly to introduce them. I am adding more about them in my new rewrite of the Kezzerdrix story squeal as well, things that is yet to be shown here. Things I felt was missing about them in it.

ps: I do wish to see if you decide to make a sequel, maybe even a continuation on "Would It Matter If I Was."

Sorry, for now this is going to be my only take on that story. I am a fan of it myself, and is why I made this story. But no current intention to do another.

Omg i just realised something

This reads like a krang(tmnt) wrote it : ( all the sentence backtracking it hurts plz revise this there r redundant sentences almost every paragraph

Example:

Stella leaned down to her more. "We have little choice but to keep you for now. We never saw anything like you before. I doubt your clan will come looking for you here, because we never saw anything like you, ever. And we can't just send you out and hope that they do find you, before something else does again."

I like the story idea but krang from the tmnt shows have put a trauma in me so fierce that whenever i see that style i cant read/watch what i was reading/watching nemore :fluttercry:

nice story and this hesitantly gets a fave from me, but might I recommend you get an editor or someone else to proofread it? The phrasing and word choice reads like it was translated with Google Translate.

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