• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 11th, 2023

OroKinAu


Who am I? A 43 year old history teach living a double life as a brony fanfic writer.

Comments ( 42 )

This should be good.

Oh mi gosh!! This is awesome! :pinkiehappy: You better not be one of those people who make something this good and then just suddenly drop it. :duck::applejackunsure:

It was good.

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I really hope I wouldn't be forced to drop it either because the whole story has been outlined already. So I am really looking closely at the like-dislike bar.

*fingers crossed*

7029032 Ok good I'm glad :twilightsmile:
*fingers crossed*

It's great to see the inner workings in the mind of the foalophile, their internal struggle over wanting to love something everypony else says you shouldn't. Its a subject matter rarely used and you use it very well. I mean we feel for Caramel as he is stuck in such a position and it made me sad that his relationship with Brass had to be cut so short.

I really hope to see more of this story, but already I've liked, faved, tracked and added it to my bookcase of good foalfics.

Also I spotted you just joined the Foalcon group so I'll be the first to welcome you and I hope we can see more from you too. :pinkiehappy:

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I'm sorry for putting you back on the ground with this, but the story will most likely have a rather big dislikes>likes ratio, especially once it progresses and gets into the more delicate stuff.
Not so much because it's Foalcon, but because it deals with it in a serious and realistic way and because it does more than hoofwaving it as a quick fap fetish.
When the topics of children and sex come up in the same story, people ain't very smart, so many will probably treat this story like a propaganda story to advocate child-adult relationships. And this will be with downvotes and aggressiveness in the comments.
But I'm not telling you this to intimidate you. I'm telling you this to encourage you to continue it anyway!
I read what you said about being forced to stop writing it because of dislikes. With a story like this, you should never let yourself get influenced by the number of dislikes. In fact, one should never let himself get stopped to write a fic because of dislikes, no matter what it is about. But especially with this topic here and how you portray it, you should ignore the dislikes, because it's bound to get a lot.
Don't let yourself get intimidated by this. If lots of people downvote it, then it's not because of the quality of the story, it's simply the topic that rubs them the wrong way and they hope they can scare you away from continuing it by giving it as much downvotes as they can.

7029387 I don't know how sensitive Siglo is about downvotes, but not all serious foalcon fics start off with overwhelming downvotes. Darf writes really serious foalcon, though it is aimed mostly at cloppers, and his are among the most popular clopfics on the site. I've written a foalcon thing aimed at a serious crowd, and it's been featured multiple times even though there's only a 1k out of 100k words of erotic material. When I introduced religion to mine, then the wave of downvotes made it no longer be featured.

I agree about not stopping, though, even if there are a high number of downvotes, unless the purpose of the story is to appeal to a high number of readers, but I don't know why anyone would write serious foalcon for that.

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7029387
Thank you for the encouraging words, I have decided to continue this story despite the downvotes because this one type of story that needs to be told.

This story was made not to advocate adult-child relationships nor to serve as propaganda. This story was made to detail what it is like to be inherently mentally different in society, to have to hide one's true self in the face of societal pressures. I do believe that there needs to be a better and rational way to deal with this issue because the current system does nothing to solve the underlying problem.

So once again, thanks for the support, the next installment should come out within a week depending on my workload. If any of you have some added insights into the topic feel free to share it if you want, it could help with making the overall story better.

My best regards,
-Siglo de Oro

This is an interesting take on the subject that is mostly taken seriously, and address in a very bold manner I might add. Seeing that the main character part of a very vilified part oc society, and he can't keep out help without being treated like a monster. Seeing that a deeply sexually repress man, despite his best sincere effort not to give in, will eventually explode somewhere along the line.
I have an issue about how the psychologist know that Caramel was a pedophile when if I am not sure was before he wasn't in puberty yet?

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Caramel was 15 when he saw the psychologist, so a few years after puberty. If I am reading your question correctly.

7030909 sorry, what I mean is how the psychologist know that Caramel was a pedophile in her interview, it he freely admitted that he was a juvenile porn mag?

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He naively admitted to everything to the psychologist because he thought the psychologist would actually help him.

Whelp, Princess Luna is gonna have a field trip with that dream.

great chapter, It is a shame that Caramel uses Sasaflash as a cover for his normalcy and she will be piess at him for that. What will happen if they get a foal then? will if succumb to his impulses, can he ever resist it? His mind mist be constantly frazzled what will it take to break me under pressure. He says that he do Why does Caramel insist on having a marefriend as company, isn't he afraid that she might one day discovered the truth about him having her so close to him? What do you mean by Caramel love her but it's not love her sexually, could their be more insight.

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What will happen if they get a foal then? will if succumb to his impulses, can he ever resist it?

That question disturbs Caramel, so he refuses to think about that. Unfortunately.

His mind mist be constantly frazzled what will it take to break me under pressure.

We will see:raritywink:

He says that he do Why does Caramel insist on having a marefriend as company, isn't he afraid that she might one day discovered the truth about him having her so close to him?

Caramel does have a back up plan, once he feels like Sassaflash begins to suspect something odd, he'll just end the engagement and skip town. But that's not a great long-term solution in my opinion.

What do you mean by Caramel love her but it's not love her sexually, could their be more insight.

Love is an extremely complicated subject to properly explain, there are different levels of love, Caramel loves her in a emotional way, but physically, he is not. It is possible to love someone in a non-sexual way but still be in love with then.
Basically, Caramel loves Sassaflash, but he's not in love with her.

I think the story is getting more and more interesting as it goes along. I like how you raised the question about the negative effects of castigation that it has on people in the longterm and explain how doctors don't protest against the systematic castration because they are. I was wandering where do you know they force castration on pedophiles? for where I am from the castration is only put as a choice to the person that was convicted not imposed.

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Not so much "forced", but more like "HIGHLY recommended" if you want a lighter punishment.

Now things will really go downhill from here.

OhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP!

Oh, things are actually starting to brow now, Caramel is now going to be framed by his ex filly friend for raping her. On a practical stand point I do understand the need of those laws to protect children's from unwanted and harmful advances, that they are vulnerable and can be easily manipulated by older people, and that it is difficult to discern if it was acceptable or not.
It is interesting to see that this is coinciding with the discovery of a pedophile smuggling ring and that it is interesting to there is a group that is trying to be to defend those ponies in those in consensual relationships with younger ponies despite probably being completely pegged as a group of deviants. I wander how this group was fonded, are they all pedophiles( that want a consensual relationship), I suppose that some of them are also family members of people that have had their loved ones wrongfully persecuted for their orientation as well as maybe lawyers how see the situations are often being exploded out of proportions that the accused is being unjustly accused by the community.

It's funny how strongly people want to believe that fetishes are inherent and ingrained, and can't be taught or treated. Yes it lets you demonize someone as being a monster who cannot be saved, but it also absolves the condemned of guilt, making no bad choices in their past ever having led them to that state. And it absolves the condemners of guilt too, because they can in no way say they could ever have possibly drove him to do that, by being jerks about it. I know this story artificially forces Caramel to be a caricature without reason, but...

I sure would want to find some excuse in his genes that made him that way, if I were a psychologist, and by telling a child that what he's done has made him a monster who cannot ever be cured, attacking his mother, and forcing her to move, I caused that child to become the monster I feared.

great chapter, the ante is really up now, Caramel is being framed, the ponies that he had lived with in peace for so many years have turned rabid on him and he has no one to turn to. I feel that the Guard doing a town meting about the pedophile ring and and using the filly to denounce the pedophile in their meets was completely unprofessional of them, for what I can only see a a means to get some good PR for them with barehanded the most socially veil of offenders in cuffs by doing this in a orchestrate public setting that could easily be turned into an out of control mob that they can't handle.

I like the reveal of Fluttershy having been a former pedophile, I wander if she prose all the pimped-up need for affection is put into caring for he animals; he it would also be a good character to show that female pedophile do also exist and to show theirs side of things. I feel that the presences of the Ursa at the middle of town for no apparent reasons was unfortunately feel really contrived for the with the only the point of allowing Caramel to escape.

It is interesting to see the Charamel's former Psychiatries "seems" to changed so much on her position about how to treat pedophiles, I wander what has made her changed so much, to be really concern about Caramel predicament. I wander what is the treatment that she has in mind for him. I still wander what was Sasaflash acceptance of Caramel's not actually in love with her, and that she is now persecuted by association with the pedophile Caramel.



Still, I am surprised that their are so many pedophile their are in such a confine area, I know it is for the plot convents but I am surprised that they have managed to for a ring foal trade


Even doe I find the reactions of the characters a little clunky at time, out of character for others, like Twilight Sparkle for doing nothing to stop the mob from going out hand, despite being a princess how hast to up hold the law at all times, it is still a fascinating read. I am curious to know how did you do your research for this subject?

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I like the reveal of Fluttershy having been a former pedophile, I wander if she prose all the pimped-up need for affection is put into caring for he animals; he it would also be a good character to show that female pedophile do also exist and to show theirs side of things. I feel that the presences of the Ursa at the middle of town for no apparent reasons was unfortunately feel really contrived for the with the only the point of allowing Caramel to escape.

Actually, it was not contrived, this was part of Fluttershy's plan

It is interesting to see the Charamel's former Psychiatries "seems" to changed so much on her position about how to treat pedophiles, I wander what has made her changed so much, to be really concern about Caramel predicament. I wander what is the treatment that she has in mind for him. I still wander what was Sasaflash acceptance of Caramel's not actually in love with her, and that she is now persecuted by association with the pedophile Caramel.

That answer will be revealed in the next chapter; as for Sassaflash, she clearly wants to distance herself from him.

Still, I am surprised that their are so many pedophile their are in such a confine area, I know it is for the plot convents but I am surprised that they have managed to for a ring foal trade

There is one in Canterlot, but such a thing does not exist in Ponyville. It was all a lie, yet no one seems to care or notice that it is a lie.

Even doe I find the reactions of the characters a little clunky at time, out of character for others, like Twilight Sparkle for doing nothing to stop the mob from going out hand, despite being a princess how hast to up hold the law at all times, it is still a fascinating read. I am curious to know how did you do your research for this subject?

Twilight is actually not yet a princess, this takes place before the season 4 finale actually, so she's still just town librarian and egghead Twilight Sparkle. But Twilight knows that it is pointless to stop a mindless and rabidly angry mob. As for research...don't expect me to reveal all of my secrets.

Also, for the next chapter, I suggest you do not mention any plot points. I want all comments for the final chapter to be SPOILER FREE.

7112808 Plot point? I am not sure about what you mean about it in my comments. I don't need specifics, I just want to make sure I understand your meaning, for future reference.

7112857
I don't want people to infer the ending through the comments. :raritywink:

Shit's going down further south here.

I enjoyed this story, kinda wish Brass had karma bit her in the ass more though. I thought it would be Luna who would be in this with Fluttershy, but I was wrong. Keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

Pity about Brass but it's nobody's fault that her life was ruined permanently. And I am happy about reunion of Caramel and Ginger.
That 8 dislikes of the story I think were given by some narrow-minded people who can't see through moral and prejudice. I can't say I am supportive of pedophiles but if you, like gays, were just born that way it can't be treated or forced to be normal. Of cource there is a parent's side who actually wouldn't want to see their little daughters with some adult mens.
All this topic is hard and discussive, in fact. But if someone after reading this has a doubt, remember that Nihil verum est, omnia licita (Nothing is true, everything is permitted)

Comment posted by Mix-up deleted Apr 18th, 2016

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I understand your criticism, but can you please edit it in a way that does not reveal the ending? If not I will be forced to delete it to prevent spoilers.

I want to hear what you think, but not in a way that spoils it for those who have not read it yet.

I even explicitly said so at the end of the chapter:

Please don't spoil the ending in your comments. I would greatly appreciate it.

This was beautiful... I salute you, author, you have done an incredible job.

That was a good story I enjoyed it so much. The story was so intresting to me I am not pedophile but intrested in all king of philia's. Maybe I can better understand those people's after reading this story. AND ALL HEIL FOR TRUE LOVE
(sorry for bad grammar I learn decennary German )

I want to read the whole thing before giving final judgment, but so far what sticks out to me is that the fillies are written as being WAY too intelligent and mature. To the point where it kind of undermines the fact that they're supposed to be so young, and makes the scenes with them feel more like cartoony wish-fulfillment than a dark and gritty examination of a real-life problem. If real-life 8-year-olds spoke and behaved like this, the laws would probably be quite different. In reality a kid's brain at that age isn't even guaranteed to be able to retain long-term memories. How much they'll even remember from that age is questionable, there's no way they would be talking about love, lust, and cheating like they've been studying it for years.

Well okay, there are always exceptions, but so far it has been EVERY filly doing it.

Awwe! :fluttercry: Poor Caramel!

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Caramel loves Sassaflash, but he's not in love with her.

So love = in love
And in love = love in

I kind of feel like maybe Fluttershy loved a foalophile when she was younger, and that's why she wants to help him. It maybe, Celestia had, at some point been a foalophile. My mind is racing with possibilities for the future :pinkiehappy:

I did not expect that. Fluttershy? She's the last person you'd expect.

THIS IS AWESOME!! It's rare to find a good story like this every now and again. For some reason, the only foalcon stories that I ever see are just clops, rapes, rape-clops, or romance between fillies (which I like, but not on a 'THIS IS AWESOME!!' level).

While I don't agree with some of the ideas explored here and found the writing to be a bit awkward in place, stilted in others, full of grammatical issues and more inclined to tell the audience how the character's feeling instead of showing or giving us some type of hint that we can put into context and relate to, I must say the story thoroughly held my interest.

Some of the final lines to the narrative are quite unsettling, and to go along with your request I won't reveal them, but I will say I thought that particular part of that dynamic would be glossed over and I am quite glad it wasn't.

As for the way the fillies are written it's hit/miss. The way you wrote for the teenager is more believable, albeit quite twisted. The fillies are quite emotional when confronted with this feeling, and while I won't dismiss the idea that a someone so young can fall in love with someone who is much older and that emotion can very well be love, it's unlikely they're going to be so crafty, manipulative, or talk about things like cheating and convince their prospective partners. It all feels just a little too calculating, but I get that you might've been trying to suggest throughout that Snaps could be more emotionally mature than the average filly.

There are little themes and threads you might've added to the story to show us how Sassaflash and Carmel interact but aren't on the same wavelength and have completely different perspectives about the relationship -- let's say she's talking about wanting a filly when they're settled and Carmel's getting more and more uncomfortable with the idea, so she assumes he wants no foals or wants a colt. That's the type of stuff that can cause an argument or at least a little resentment. What I took from that part of the story (unless she's over-compensating by having a lot of sex with him) is Sass believed her relationship with Carmel was perfect. Why not have something nagging underneath it all that she can't quite put her hoof on and gives additional context to her more explosive actions later on as things get more heated?

I don't know you personally and can't comment what particular feelings inspired this story, but I can say what I took from it -- wouldn't it be awesome if there was a place for the people who society rejects that wouldn't harm a fly? That's one of the themes throughout the story that I kind of liked. Carmel's not a bad guy here, but he's not entirely without blame -- he's forced to make some tough decisions and not look back, with young fillies he's become attached to and hurt as a result... but he keeps on trying to find happiness at the expense of a developing filly's heart. The message everyone suffers in an unorthodox relationship others don't understand and feel compelled to dismantle is bleak as all get out, and that came across quite well, but they're kids... and Carmel knew the risk in getting involved with them. He just chose to take a chance, which is something some people do. In his place I'd picture myself hanging from a tree, eviscerated and mutilated, leaving that young thing behind to so much suffering... couldn't do it. Wouldn't start it.

Great story. Liked and Fav'd :eeyup:

This story is interesting, and its message isn't ENTIRELY untrue (a lot of the psychological trauma statutory rape victims go through really is caused by society itself), but it's so one-sided that it's hard to consider it a real examination of an actual issue. The story basically acts like it's perfectly possible and normal for kids under 10 to form legitimate romantic bonds that can last for decades. In truth it's rare for a romance between two teenagers to last more than a few years due to lack of experience in dealing with people in that manner, to claim 8-year-olds can reliably do it is just being irrationally idealistic. And in this case it goes the extra mile in having an 8-year-old make the decision to flat-out leave her parents forever. I don't care how annoyed she is with the way her parents treat her, no 8-year-old is choosing anybody over their parents unless they're actually abusive, and even then it's a toss-up.

Also am I the only one who thought it was weird that Twilight cited "Due Process" in the final chapter when Celestia had already publicly declared that due process no longer applies to foalophiles? As far as I can tell what the mob was doing was totally legal under Celestia's martial-law. And that's ignoring the fact that having Brass name her abuser at a totally public meeting was probably one of the worst ideas in history. There's a reason the police would never, ever, do this, and it's because the person named would be instantly torn apart by the crowd. Why would this even occur to Twilight to do? What did she think would happen as a result of it? I understand dramatic effect but this defies all logic.

I think I'm just not going to rate this fic one way or the other. It was an interesting attempt to get into the psychology of a pedophile, but it was so one-sided about the issue as a whole that it's hard to take it too seriously. It was almost like a fairy tale, actually, with love overcoming adversity, and if you look at it that way it's not bad. But as an examination of the actual real-world issues and concerns portrayed, it just misses too many points to take it seriously.

First, I want to say, I must have got my mask from the bargain bin, cause my friends constantly tell me I give off a "creepy pedo vibe".

Second, MELODRAMA. This story has it. A lot of it. Too much of it. I don't know whether to up vote for writing such a touchy subject that I can relate to, or to down vote for having written it so poorly. So, no vote from me.

And to other readers, while the Authors views on how hateful anti-pedo people can be are a bit over the top, they aren't entirely inaccurate. Kids really are coached by lawyers on what exactly to say, and sometimes certain rights are taken away during cases. (Though the rights being taken away are really only when it's repeat offenders with violent historys.)

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