Hey there everyone! Agent Fluffy here! I am a voice actress, an autistic woman, a hardcore brony and wanting to read stories for the masses! 
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This is my first fanfic so any constructive criticism would be nice. Told from Rarity's point of view. Rarity tries to get dresses done under pressure. Just a typical day for Rarity.
Cover art by Alyssa Hartwick
Reading by Captain Yoshi HD:
https://youtu.be/z1o6lpGS-hY
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Eh... not bad for a first time fic? Not good either but not bad. It moved really fast and I didn't really get much enjoyment out of it as I normally would a Rarity fic. There's a lot of things that I could poke at in this story but I won't, because I'm not in the mood to really point out them out. Now, if it was more fleshed out, and longer, then maybe I'd throw this story a like. But as it is, some parts were hard to read because they didn't flow right.
Thoughts should also be in italics. Just letting you know.
Otherwise, the story just didn't do it for me.
7008974 Okay, I'll keep that in mind.
I'll echo the previous comment: it's going really fast. Slow down. Show more details.
Overall, your spelling and grammar are pretty good. You may have a little better luck with formatting if you write with a word processing program and then paste into the story.
Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. We all had to start somewhere.
7023147 Well, I guess you can help me improve my story.
A little rough around the edges, but then again, isn't everyone's first fic? Not bad for a first try. I don't want to point out too many flaws as that would seem redundant.
Bravo, says I, Dr. Tex of TexTek!
Hmm... I know this is older story and all, but still, I think I'll join in. It's a little short to tell if Rarity was top notch in character, but her selfless, drama queen persona surely was there
Grammar wise, it's a solid story, the only issue I found were minor slip-ups in tense consistency. Remember that the whole story should be either in past, or present, nothing inbetween.
As others before me pointed out, it all happens a little too fast in this story. However, they didn't really propose any actual advice. So, let's analyze the first day of Rarity's ordeal.
First, it's said she had a really terrible, terrible nightmare. "Hmm, terrible. That's nice. So what?" I assume an ordinary reader would react like that. Don't tell the reader what happened, let them experience it instead. That means, show us the nightmare and let Rarity live through it. Yes, it would require at least the length of another small chapter, but it will also interest more readers. For example, you can start it as a pleasant show, everyone applauding Rarity, ending with the poor fashionista being slowly flooded by work. However, don't skim through it as fast as I just did. Give it time and care, play around with all the details.
Similar 'tender loving care' approachcan be applied to the rest of the story as well. Give more details to the customer's request. I doubt that if you were ordering a dress, you wouldn't mention anything about its decor, colour or material. That will give you more space for Rarity's work. Remember 'Art if the Dress'? So many details on her work. Why not show us something similar?
And of course, once her work is done, let her experience a tensed race against the time. Visions from her nightmare might haunt her. She is weaving her way through the crowd, her customer nowhere to be seen. She careful maneuvers the folded dress around, afraid that someone might do something to them. And so on.
I hope this helps a little. Good luck with your writing!