• Published 8th Jun 2012
  • 5,576 Views, 274 Comments

From man to mare: An aching heart - The Psychopath

Derry now has to cope with bizarre feelings he has gotten for Cyclon Opal.

  • ...

The spa sisters

We circled around Ponyville for a short while before landing in front of a weird house. I don't know how, but it looked exactly like my cottage back on Earth. Something was off here, and I didn't like it. As we all hopped off, everyone around us bowed down in front of the princesses.

"Brown noses." I think while giving a smile and rubbing my nose with a hoof.

One of the four guards opened the doors, allowing us to enter. Celestia, with her big-ass horn and height, could barely fit through. I purposely didn't hide my chuckles, just to annoy her. Once she finally got in, with a loud and painful grunt no doubt, I went towards that "little" hole and bounced through it. I hopped in and out of the passage just to convey a message to Mrs Murder:

"See? You just have to walk in and out. In. And out. It's not hard."

I could see her turning red. Luna was the one to speak however, about where everything was and how it was. My beliefs were right, everything was exactly like my cottage. I wonder if the security system is still zapping everything? Muahahaha!

"-and the bedroom-" Luna tried to finish, but I interrupted her.

With a look of confusion and being "weirded out", I walked towards a door adjacent from the living room, where a fluffy carpet lay upon the floor.

"The bedroom is here." I say as I pushed the door open.

"Y-yes." Luna stuttered.

This place was pretty well kept. There were shelves and closets made of a fine tanned wood here and there in this room. For some reason, it had been set up to look like the sea. I don't know why they did this, but the feeling that impending doom will happen to me in this room just filled the air. There were two windows on the right wall, while the left was covered by a gigantic closet. Cyclon and I looked around in smiles as we checked out the room. I hopped on the bizarrely huge bed with comfettors and pillows decorated a-la ocean world. I was quite comfortable and bouncy.

"I call this bed." I said joyfully while bouncing around on the comfettor.

"There is only one bed." Celestia said.

I immediately stopped rolling around and stared at her with a horrified expression.

"What do you mean there's only ONE bed?"

It was Celestia's revenge. She knew that I didn't like to be around Cyclon that much, and being so close to eachother made us both nervous. That bitch shrugged and said:

"I'm sorry, but there wasn't enough room to put two of them. You'll have to sleep together."

Cyclon turned from a pristine white to a blood red, drawing the attention of the guards near the door.

"You did this on purpose." I say as I point towards her.

She decided to put on the "innocent" act.

"I don't know what you're talking about! There really was no room left."

"Fine. Then Cyclon sleeps on the floor or on one of the couches i the living room."

"What?! I work hard and I spent a year taking care of you after that 'incident'. If somepony is going to sleep on the floor, it's you!"

"Nope. Let's use Rarity's lady technique. I'm not the stallion here. You should be used to sleeping in rough areas, especially seing as you are a soldier at that."

We both continued to argue and literally started to push eachother with our heads while bearing fangs. Celestia leaned slowly loser towards us with a wicked smile.

"I didn't know you two were in a relationship."

"It's not like that!" we both yelled in unison, only to look at eachother from the side and turn red again.

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Princess Celestia!" yelled a familiar voice.

"Twilight?" I asked out loud.

"Silver?" the voice answered.

From behind Celestia, Twilight popped up. The one who harbored me in her den whilst I was confused and without anything to help me start out here.

"It's good to see you again!" I shuoted with joy.

"Wow. You seem...different. More happy. What happenned while you were gone?"

"Cyclon here taught me some fighting techniques. They really help get steam off your system, especially when I beat him up!"

"Yeah. I've been letting you win everytime."

"Mhmm. Sure you have." I say with an annoyed face.

"Anyways, this is where you will be sleeping." Celestia continued "You will be performing patrols around Ponyville, Cyclon, and I hope that you wear your armor whilst doing so."

"Yes m'am." he said with a salute.

The two princesses smiled and walked back to the carriage, except Celestia gave me a side smirk. I shook my hoof angrily at her. They were finally gone, leaving me, Cyclon and Twilight alone in silence. This was extremely awkward.

"So Silver, Rarity told me that, when you came back, that I should bring you to her."


"She's been preparing something for your return."

"*sigh* Fine. Let's see what she wants."

I walk outside, allowing myself to bathe in the sunlight. This was actually quite enjoyable. While I usually stayed in the shadows, this world and Silver...they've been opening up something inside me. I don't know what it is, but it has been disturbing and enjoyable at the same time. I wonder how the true Silver would have been had she not been a Giga Sparkle...

"Well, I can see that you two have been busy since you left." Twilight says to Cyclon while leaning against the door.

"Yeah. She catches up pretty well when it comes to martial techniques." the guard replies while putting his armor on.

"No. I meant, you've been busy emotionally".

Cyclon cringes and drops his helmet, only to pick it back up carefully.

"I have some patrolling to do. Please excuse me." he said, galopping at extreme speeds out of the house.

Twilight comes back out and closes the door behind her, soon followed by her forcing me to come with her to Rarity's shop.

"Wait, shouldn't we lock the door?" I ask.

"What for? Only a strong unicorn can break the spell over your house."


"Royal guards all have spells placed on their houses for protection of their goods. Only when the spell has been dissipated can anypony go in them."

"Riiiight. Come to think of it, weren't we just next to Rarity's-"

"We're here." she says gleefully. "Now wait at this spot until I go get Rarity. I think you'll love her surprise."

I watched Twilight gallop off towards the boutique in eagerness. She wanted to see my reaction to whatever surprise this was. Wait a minute, when Rarity gave me surprises, they usually meant that I'd be going to...oh no.

About time you figured it out, lovey-dovey.

"Shut-up, brain!"

"SILVER!" yelled a lady-like voice that made me cringe.

"H-hi Rarity."

"It's good to see you again!" she says with a glowing smile.

"It's good to see you too." I say blandly.

"So." she starts to whisper as she invades my personal space. "How is Cyclon?"

"He's okay."

"Oh come on! Surely you see more in him than just 'a good friend'?"

"NO! Nothing more, nothing less." I pout and avert my gaze.

"Mhmm. Anyways, thank you Twilight Sparkle. I'll take good care of her."

"Okay then. See you later. I think Pinkie will be glad to hear that she's back too."

A wave goodbye and Twilight was returning to her library. Everything was happening so fast. I couldn't follow up on any conversations taking place. The only parts I managed to follow were the parts about me and Cyclon having an intimate relationship. *shiver* Such a horrid thought. I found Rarity dragging me across Ponyville again. It seemed that everybody had settled down with the crisis I had awhile agao, and everything was rebuilt. I just can't help remembering the sight of two swirly eyes watching me at the time. Oh well.

"I'm taking you back to the spa. Fluttershy is waiting for me there. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you again."

"Yeah. 'Glad'."

"Oh pfff. Don't be such a downer. You'll love it! I even reserved the 'special' treatment from Aloe and Lotus for when you were to come back. Although, I'm sure that Cyclon has been massaging you quite well since your time away."

Le death glare.

"I forgot. Sorry, but it is still painfully obvious that you two have something going for eachother."

"Whatever. Let's just get to the spa and get this over with. I hate things like the spa. I may have warmed up to it, but I was still uncomfortable with being a man in such a girly place."

Rarity gave me a side smile as we finally arrived at the spa. Entering this blindingly pink place, I could smell that aroma filling my nostrils once again. And wouldn'tcha know it, only Fluttershy and and a new pony at the register were there. Well, atleast I wouldn't have to wait.

"Hi Fluttershy." I say with a weak smile.

"Oh! Silver. You're back. Have you told Pinkie Pie yet?"

"No. I'm not really in the mood to have a party right now."

"Oh, well the spa is going to help you relax, like it has always done."


"There we go girls. We get the spa treatment, and Silver gets her 'special massage'." Rarity said as she handed us towels given to her by the pony at the register.

"Wait, you mean that terrifyingly painful technique they would use on me to get my 'chi' flowing again?"


"Uhhh. I don't think I want to deal with that again." I say nervously while slowly backing up.

"TOO BAD!" Rarity shouts.

That unicorn traps my legs with her magic, causing me to fall down, and allowing her to freely drag me across the floor, much to the amusement of mister register. Like before, I get the super hose down, then the sauna, then the hose again, then the mud bath, then the hose AGAIN, and then something new. This time, we were in some sort of "aroma therapy".

Placed inside of a somewhat sealed off area (we still need fresh oxygen), a bowl of incense is being burnt right on a table in front of us. Rarity was the one to choose the fragrance. It was called "Heart's delight". A somewhat discreet way of conveying a message to me. We all leaned back against the wooden wall. This thing was agonizingly pleasurable.

"So, Rarity, why did you choose this fragrance?"

"Oh. For nothing. It is just a special fragrance that shows only to you who your 'special somepony' is in the smoke."

My eyes shot wide open, causing me to see Cyclon in smoke form right in front of me. He was giving that 'swagga' look. I felt my heart race involuntarily and panic began to form on my face.

"Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked.

I was too disturbed to answer.

"C'mon brain! Wtf?! What are you doing?"

I'm just trollin' aboot. I'm not doing anything here, you are.

"Perhaps, but you're the one in control of motor senses and whatnot."

...You're right. Fine.

The image of Cyclon had wrapped its arms around me and was leaning slowly forward to give me a kiss. I swear, it was at a single inch before reaching my own lips that I went berserk and screamed while waving my hooves everywhere and panting heavily. I eventually looked to the side to see Rarity with a weird expression on her face while Fluttershy had her hoof to her mouth and looked worried.

"Heheh. Sorry. I dozed off."

"Hello Silver. Back to have your chi checked?" said a voice all too familiar.

"Hi Aloe."

In the entrance of the room stood that pink spa pony. She gave me a smirk and invited us to the next room. The massage. I was pretty much used to living like a pony, so climbing up on that table wasn't too hard, compared to my many attempts from before. Once I was finally on the bed, the two sisters cracked their knuckles, which scared the shit out of me. I clenched my fingers...I would have, if they still existed (Yohohoho, horse joke!). Preparing for the inevitable pains, they only began to press on my back and my sides. I slowly opened my eyes to feel the world dissolve around me. I could barely think anymore.

"Ah? Your chi has stabilized exponentially." Aloe said as she pressed against my sides.

"It has even strengthened quite alot. Especially around the heart." Lotus continued.

"It seems that liberating the trapped and corrupted chi within your system has allowed you to feel...love?" Aloe taunted.

Both Rarity and Fluttershy muffled a giggle while the spa workers couldn't care less. If they did, it would be the equivalent of dividing by zero.

"This is getting on my nerves."