• Member Since 27th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago


Nerd with an odd obsession for ponies...

Comments ( 568 )

A lot of potential for this story, hopefully it doesn't go down the Gary Stu path or have ridiculous progression like so many others.
You have my attention for this story so far!

Damn this was awesome. Keep up the good work man.

6823961 Thanks I hope you read more!
6824003 Thanks and I will.

so is there doggy instincts that happen?

The very first sentence, and we hit a snag.

Walking through a cornfield at night sucks, I was on my way to my boss’ retirement party and it just stopped for no reason.

The only possible things that the red-bolded "it" could possibly refer to are the cornfield and the retirement party, but neither one makes sense in or out of context. The two portions of the sentence ought to be separated by a semicolon rather than a comma, and the possessive of "boss" is "boss's." You might want to get someone to proofread for you prior to publishing your chapters.

6824160 I'll read when there are more chapters!

6824825 Yeah some instincts.

6825237 Yeah I really need some editors.

6825560 Great!

6825008 I thought someone would say something like that.

6830318 Haha the next chapter is coming out at the end of the week or the weekend.

Thanks DUDE!! Hey I have a few story Ideas that I just don't have time to write would you consider writing one?

6833548 Like for a chapter or for a different story? If its for a chapter sure.

Liking where its going so far, just keep an eye on the progression and characters, the sprained paw seemed like it was added in last moment rather than it was planned out; a couple of ways of getting around this would be making a short description about the landing.
Also, make it would be good to make a point of Azura's morals, she is still a child so she wouldn't really understand anything outside of what her father has acted like, and would also make for wonderful character development if it gets drawn out over several chapters.

6835100 Yeah still getting used to writing so I'll make sure how I develop evrything.

"Don't worry I'm not going to hurt you." I said softly as top not scare her any further.

I admit it would be hard to write a mute character, but I´m happy that you´re trying to make him appear like an animal in front of anyone else.
That makes probably no sense, but I just meant that I´m happy to i have at least a little bit of that mute character stuff in that fanfiction, even if it probably doesn´t last forever.

I liked the gore part of this chapter, I guess it was a nice change for once. No sure who that guy is, but I kind of hope, that he is going to work with the main six at some point in the story, maybe near the middle.
I get the feeling this is supposed to be the type of story, where the guy thinks he is doing more or less a good thing, only to find out he was working for an evil guy.

I want to read more, I´m glad I gave it a try, at first I didn´t wanted to read it, but now I like it. However I only give a thumb up after two or three more chapters, if I know a bit more.

Once I saw it was mentioned I have to agree about the sprained paw, but I don´t really mind it, I probably look more at other stuff, and haven´t really noticed that.

The only thing I´m curious about is if the cave is only reachable by flying, or if Azura would have a change to look for more food herself, while he can probably not walk, and because of that maybe not even fly. However I´m not sure how long he has to stay still exactly.
It is better than how I thought it would be.

I´m not exactly sure what I wanted to say right now, I´m a bit forgetable this week. Maybe because I´m only learning? Well the main point of my comment is, it is a nice story, I guess it only depens on what is happening later.

6844319 Well he can still fly but it will explain a bit of it in the next xhapter and I actually dont know why I put in. And damn I can't believe this has 40 likes already in just two chapters.

So whats the ETA on the next chapter? I need something to keep me occupied in my spare time!

6833548 Uh what do you want me to do exactly?

:raritystarry:I like Luna's role in this I see many ways to go about this I'll wait till thy chapter is finished:trixieshiftleft:

6855868 heh yeah I'm really excited about the 4th chapter.

It's likely Princess Luna has Azura under some kind of tracking spell now ...
And once she visits said filly in the dreamscape she will find out her secrets

Hhhhhhmmmmm not sure if Shadow is going to talk with the others in the future or not, but I guess because of wolfs, and the moon, I started to think of Luna as a possible romance option for Shadow, or at least a friend that could accept their relationship.

I have not much time right now, so I can´t say the other stuff I wanted to, but it´s a good chapter.
Not sure if I just want him not to lose his new daughter, or if I want a nice Luna, and not a serious, hot headed one this time.
Not sure how often that happens, but I got used to see Luna as some sort of spoilsport towards the main Char in such a situation.

Well I just like adotion storys, have a nice day.

Awesome chapter, a bit slow but i guess thats required after such a fast paced start on the story, i was worried that it would be too slow though that didnt happen! Cant wait for the next chapter, great work so far!

6856413 You'll have to see in the next chapter.

6856712 Thanks man.

6857167 Thanks! And yeah the first chapter is always the slowest... well in my stories that is.

Thank you everyone for loving my newest story so far. Hope you all read more of my work.

Walking through a cornfield at night sucks, I was on my way to my boss’ retirement party and my car just stopped for no reason. My car broke down on my way to my friends house out in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ran out of gas next to a corn field.

First thing I noticed, it doubles back on itself. "I don't know why it stopped. It stopped because it didn't have gas." That's pretty much what those two sentences say, they contradict. Secondly, I feel like the story just sort of... jumps around a bit. Not like, to different points in time, but just like, from place to place without any interim other than "I went to place x."

Still, I like the idea of this story, and the premise, so please, don't stop because of me. I'll keep reading, and point anything out if I can.

I enjoyed this chapter as much as the last and I'm starting to get an impression on who mr. M is so I'm interested to see if I'm right about my hunch.:moustache::twilightsheepish:

They looked to be Timberwolves from greek mythology. Luckily I had studied that in middle school for some reason and loved it so I got into it more and I knew pretty much every myth there was from Timberwolves to Manticores and all. (I actually do know a lot about greek mythology.)

I was fairly certain I had never seen timberwolves in Greek mythology so I spent twenty minutes checking. No timberwolves in Greek Mythology. Sorry dude, you must be misremembering.

Will we see Azura again?

Looks very promising. Please do go on. :yay:

6873744 Really l? Huh guess I am.:twilightoops:

6873034 Thanks man and don't worry I don't mind any kind of advice.

6874086 Yes, most definitely.:twilightsmile:

6874696 I will, and thanks.

I enjoyed the chapter a lot, but when it came to that "New skill" thing then i think it judt gets too gameish

Try instead of something like, discovering it, like if you were to accidentally trip then do a roll before hitting.

Keep up the good work though!

That edgy wolf design tho...

6875992 Yeah I didn't really know how to mmm deliver it I guess.


You could call it a meme, but every story deserves a read.

6879367 Uh thanks? I don't know how to respond to that.


You dont have to respond to it. :moustache:

Anyway, if you actually want some assistance on the story, im more than happy to help! (Not implying anything, it's only if you feel like it)


I honestly have no idea. I think i kind of got a "in the moment" thing.

6882340 Well let me know what you want to do.

6884081It's fine man. I've actually have been wanting a story of mine on youtube. Even though I want it to be a fanfic reading thing I'm still glad you did that. Hope you get some subscribers soon.:pinkiehappy:

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