Sugarcoat may be one of the smartest girls at Crystal Prep, but have you ever thought what she does outside of school? Well, shockingly to Indigo Zap and Lemon Zest. Sugarcoat is very skilled at video games.
Chapters (1)
Sonicrules831
Joined 23rd Apr, 2013 ·
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I wonder if she plays Super Smash Bros.
6823516
I wonder if I should make chapters of different games she plays
6823785
Yeah, do it. You would get more likes.
6823994
Alrighty, I'll see what I can do :)
That was pretty good.
story-wise this was pretty enjoyable. simple and relaxing
you could use work on phrasing: much of the beginning (exposition/little dialogue parts) is very clunky and feels stunted.
when you end a quote with "she said" or something like that, you turn the period into a comma.
should be
also, at some point, the indent dropped out.
anyway, good read, lots of potential
In short;
33.media.tumblr.com/0a8bd79ff2e79af5a2ba737b4970f1c4/tumblr_inline_nktpkoxbPi1t8eks8.jpg
8003529
I still don't understand your comment.
8388959
I don't understand my comment, either. I was not healthy when that was written.