A New Dawn For Dusk
Finding Her Voice Again
by milesprower06
A New Dawn For Dusk
You don't know what you have until it's gone.
Sonata Dusk walked down the hallway of Canterlot High, a dark pit yawning at her heels, filled with the memories of what she and her fellow sirens had done here. What was she supposed to be feeling right now? Regret? Guilt?
It was loneliness. That was it.
Adagio and Aria hadn't accompanied her here. It was probably because she hadn't even asked them to come along. She figured she'd be wasting her time. Even now they were still sulking in their defeat at Canterlot High's Battle of the Band finals. After they had been booed off stage, they returned to their apartment in the city, thankfully still employed. How long were they going to hopelessly claw at their hopes for revenge? Would they ever move on with their lives?
Did they even... Miss it like she did?
She desperately wanted to sing again. Every time she tried in the shower, her heart ached at how off-key she was. Her voice was who she was. Without it, she felt so hollow, so vulnerable. She didn't feel like herself. For weeks, she just went through the motions at her job at the Taco Hole, wondering if she'd ever be able to get her talent back. It hadn't all been the work of their pendants; they had just come to rely on them too greatly. When that power was taken away, their raw ability had diminished. For months, she felt hopeless.
Then, she remembered Sunset Shimmer.
Canterlot High's unofficial ambassador who had shown them the school the first time led her through the hallway. There weren't many students this time of day; everyone had either gone home or were currently involved in their extracurricular activities. First, she had to stop by Principal Celestia's office with Sonata's request while the siren waited outside, no doubt asking permission to escort her through the school.
'We know all about you, Sunset Shimmer.' Adagio had taunted during the Battle of the Bands.
Indeed, in their magic-fueled competitive aggression, the student body was all too happy to tell the trio what Sunset Shimmer had done; how she had come over here from Equestria, and how she had also tried to take over the school for her own ends.
But what they had skimmed over, was how she had been redeemed.
When Sonata had approached Sunset out by the Wondercolts Statue ten minutes ago, she had to admit that she was half-expecting her to mockingly tell her, 'too bad, so sad.' But she didn't. If anything, she was sympathetic, and immediately told her she'd ask Principal Celestia if it was alright. But of course, that was only half the battle. The second was quickly approaching, and Sonata was now wondering if she was up for this.
The two of them turned the corner to the music hall, and Sonata's anxiety continued to climb. As they passed the rooms, she heard muffled horns, flutes, guitars, drums, and voices. Each more on key and harmonic than she had sounded for the past year.
Finally, Sunset stopped, at a set of double doors. It sounded like an entire band was playing on the other side of this one. She simply waited for several moments, and then their song stopped. With her right arm, Sunset gently guided Sonata to the right door.
"Wait here." She said with a soft smile, then she opened the left side door. Sonata couldn't see the occupants of the room, but she knew it was the Rainbooms the instant the members greeted Sunset as she took a step into the room.
"Hey there, ready to join us? Finally done with that report to Princess Twilight, or are you writing an actual novel in that thing?" Rainbow Dash asked her.
"Actually, girls, something has come up."
"Hm? Another magic problem? What is it this time?" Applejack asked.
"Not exactly. I just want you guys to keep an open mind. Principal Celestia told me it would be fine, but it's ultimately up to us."
"So what is it? Spill the beans already." Rainbow urged.
"I think you should hear it from her instead."
The Rainbooms saw Sunset lean back into the hallway, and open the right side door, which revealed Sonata, whose gaze fell to the floor as all eyes fell on her. Slowly, she took a timid step into the room. The siren wore a dark purple hoodie. They couldn't imagine the hood being able to go up, due to her arctic and Persian blue hair drawn up and back into a considerably long ponytail that went down past her waist.
"H... H-hi. I'm... I'm Sonata."
"We know who you are, siren." Rainbow said with contempt.
"Yes, I'm sure you do, I just wasn't sure if you knew my name. I'd like your help." Sonata's raspberry eyes stopped looking at the floor, and met the gaze of the band members.
"Why would we help the three of you?" Pinkie asked, leering at her from the drumset in the back of the room.
"I... I don't speak for Adagio or Aria, but I'm hoping if you help me, that they'll come around. We saw firsthand that your magic can do incredible things. If-if the magic of friendship can help Sunset Shimmer after what she did, then I'd like to think it could help me, and hopefully the other two as well."
The siren took a deep breath.
"I can't keep going on without my voice. It's who I am. Without it, I feel so empty."
She took a second, slightly more confident step into the room.
"Can I get some singing lessons?"
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Seems like a pretty cool set up for a longer story
6823097 Agreed. There needs to be more to this.
Ughhhhhhh, you irk me so. Writing such great setups for longer stories but stopping right at the peak of the unknown. Nonethless, you have my like and favorite.
I liked this a lot but I feel like it needs more of something but I'm not sure what
or an epilogue
Maybe a sequel
This needs an sequel. Is a good story, but I feel there is more.
This is off to a very good start! But there are some things you could clear up.
Namely that you should specify who is saying what in most of your lines.
We pretty much know who is saying what, but it would be good to be more specific more often.
Also, this line is a little awkward, unless you can make a change.
Italics for emphasis, and describing how exactly Rainbow said it make the line less awkward, and much cooler.
Aw, too bad it's marked as complete! I added it to my watch list the moment I approved it dude!
6824491 Wow, high praise.
Yes, these thousand words were strong, but I sincerely doubt I could carry that strength thousands more.
After reading this, I think you can make another chapter or two in this. See what you can come up with. I want to see how the Humane 6 react to what's going on now.
Even though I felt that this story should've add a chapter or two, this is still a nice story.
6824649 yes you can. You may not see it, but I see someone with a good understanding in the art of writing.
6824649 Reading this story reminds me of the begining of The Cupcake Chronicles. But in this case it's the story of Sonata and the Sirens finding thier voices again. This definately deserved more story to it for such a cliffhanger like beginning.
Perhaps you can try reading Of Rainbooms and Dazzlings by Jay The Brony for inspiration. That story gave some interesting conversations and backstory for The Sonic Rainbooms and Dazzling respectively. Interactions will definately need to be a key point for this story considering The Human Mane 6 are at odds with the sirens.
I'd also suggest that you can try having Sonata practice karaoke for improving her singing like how Rainbow tried swimming in Cupcake Chronicles.
Overall, this is your decision to whether to continue the story or not. Good Luck.
-MixMassBasher
Now I understand why many wish for you to continue this story. Excellent work here!
Now THIS is the character development that I'd like to see with the Dazzlings.
Yeah.... I'm sorry Miles, but I gotta agree with everyone here. This SCREAMS continuation. I would love to see it continue.
I've thought about the sirens' ability to sing naturally and I figured that if they lost that natural ability, they could always learn it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this.
Anyway, this was a nice little ficlet. I know people are demanding for a bigger story, but dude, you do you. I'm a writer and I know the pressure of writing another fic whenever you feel as though you don't have anything to offer. While I would be interested to see where this goes, I like the story as is and you can add on to your own desires if you so wish.
I would love to see what happens next to favorite siren.
Using this as cover photo?
Definitely, DEFINITELY would love to see more to this story. Sequel, more chapters, I don't know and I would readily admit to not caring on how. I just love this story and the possible ways that it could continue.
Please continue with this. I would like to read more.
cdn.meme.am/instances/63458729.jpg
I'm going to go against the crowd and say that a sequel is not necessary, though I would also like one. This reads like a short skit, such as the prequel shorts to Friendship Games were short standalone stories, even though some may have warranted continuation. As a writer, I sometimes like to give readers details that I don't develop so that they can develop their own ideas.
This was rather a nice one-shot.
It would have been even better if it had another chapter or two.
Loved it! Wished there was more now. But I suppose that's your decision.
Let the teaching begin
Good approach, but you fumbled the landing. What you have here is the literary equivalent of trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Basically your choice of setup and conclusion are mutually incompatible.
You open with Sonata missing her voice and wanting to earn it back. She knows she's done wrong, but is willing to make herself vulnerable in order to reclaim something she loves. This goes well with either a cute short story of redemption where she is welcomed with compassionate arms and rewarded for her efforts, or with a somewhat longer tale of struggle and retribution in order to earn the love and respect of those she needs, and perhaps she learns a lesson or two along the way.
Your ending however, cuts off abruptly, just when she makes herself known, and before Amy sort of resolution can begin to build. This style of ending goes much better with internal conflict, where the protagonist has been avoiding a particular confrontation or issue. A notable example is Just Pull The Trigger by Wingless, where the point of the story was never about what came after the pull of the trigger, but whether or not Rarity would do it. In your case, perhaps open with Sonata very torn up inside, making excuses why she can't ask them, inventing reasons to run away. But her need draws her back, and forces her to face her fear - something that will be extremely difficult. Perhaps then after much emotional preparation, and a bit of support from Sunset, she finally says hello.
The two styles run very contrary to each other, as one deals with strictly internal conflict while the other is strictly external. If you want this story's ending to carry its full potential for emotional impact, you need a setup and conclusion that deal with the same conflict.
7891500 I made a multi-chapter sequel if that's any consolation.
7891724
It really doesn't matter to me. I'm just leaving a critique. It's your story. I just thought I'd try to help you make it better.
That's rough indeed.
I don't like Sonata or the other 2 Dazzlings, but this was really well done.
Greetings. Your reading has been completed and can be found here. I hope you enjoy!
Depends on what'll happen to you three and if I were you I'd accept the offer from the main 7 as soon as possible before you regret it.
What an podding name for a restaurant. Taco hole?
11115440
Old SNL reference.
11115451
Had a feeling it might be snl related as I have seen a skit called taco town.
Good to see a serious Sonata story.
11585944
Thanks for reading!