Krizak's Compendium of Concise Chronicles

by Krizak

Timeline - Comedy

“Alright, let’s start with what we know.” Twilight levitated her piece of chalk over to the board she’d teleported here all the way from the library, at the great expense of her throbbing hangover-induced headache. “We all gathered here at Sugarcube Corner to celebrate Fluttershy earning her veterinarian degree, which by the way, congratulations again, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, um, thank you, again, I guess…” Fluttershy replied in an even quieter tone than usual, her head pounding at the slightest noise.

Twilight began writing down the sequence of events on the board. “About an hour in, Pinkie decided that the party deserved a little bit more than her usual affair, and she served the first round of drinks.”

“And that’s when the fireponies arrived!” Pinkie exclaimed, her usual joyous and bouncy self despite the amount of alcohol she had consumed last night.

“No, Pinkie!” Twilight turned from her board to glare at Pinkie. “We’re still in the middle of events we all remember, and nopony but you remembers any fireponies!”

“Darling, please, it’s much too early to be yelling at Pinkie.” Rarity looked up from nursing her glass of water. “But she’s right, Pinkie, there were no fireponies. Are you sure you weren’t confusing those dashing police officers for their compatriots in public service?”

“Whoa, now, hold on. The fuzz was here?” Rainbow Dash had barely been awake, but at the mention of the police, she was wide awake, glancing nervously from one side to another. “No, no, that’s can’t be right. There’s no way I could have forgotten if the police had shown up. Was that before or after Pinkie convinced us to play Seven Minutes of Heaven? Maybe it was when I was in the closet with AJ, so they didn’t see me.”

“Hold on, there, sugarcube,” AJ shook her head, both at Rainbow Dash’s ridiculous claim and the sheer inability of all her friends to handle their liquor (save for Pinkie). “Ah sure as shootin’ didn’t spend any time in any closet with you last night.”

“Yes, because Applejack would never be caught dead coming out of the closet,” Rarity grumbled low enough to sound like she hoped the farmmare wouldn’t hear, but loud enough that she caught every word.

Applejack didn’t rise to the bait, though, continuing from where she had been before Rarity had interrupted. “Save fer the drinkin’, it was a pretty standard Pinkie Pie party. The usual games, the usual treats. Only unusual bit was when Fluttershy said all those nasty things ‘bout us all, but Ah know that was just the drink talkin’, right, Fluttershy?”

“What!?” Fluttershy’s eyes opened wide as she stared at Applejack. “I did no such thing! I was too busy asking Mr. Platypus how he had gotten here all the way from the Down Under, and then finding him some food, and asking him what his home was like…”

“Aww, there was a platypus here?” Pinkie frowned for a second. “I wish I remembered that; platypi are so funny! Do you think the fireponies brought him?”

“Umm, Pinkie, the plural is ‘platypuses,’ not…”

“And if it’s not true, Applejack, then how come I can still taste apples on my lips?!”

“Gee, I dunno, maybe ‘cause of all the hard apple cider you had last night? What Ah want to know is, why are you so worried ‘bout the policeponies anyway?”

“Yes, darling, I’m rather curious as well, though if it puts your mind at ease, I don’t think they were actually policeponies, but rather some risque entertainment Pinkie hired…”

“Ooh, ooh, if that’s true, then I’ll have a receipt somewhere! That sort of thing is tax-deductible in my line of work, so I always keep the receipt!”

Twilight sighed as her friends once again transformed into a bickering squabbling mess. Turning to erase the board, she resolved to try once again in a few minutes. Maybe this time one of them would remember the mysterious masked mare who had shown up and stolen her heart…

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[Krizak]

This story was for Prompt #11: "A Night to Remember." The prompt was for the Mane Six to wake up at Sugarcube Corner after a wild night, and for them all to remember what happened differently.