Krizak's Compendium of Concise Chronicles

by Krizak

Muffins - Romance, Comedy

Pinkie Pie didn’t know what to do.

Any minute now, Derpy was going to walk into Sugarcube Corner, just like she always did every morning after she was finished with her route. But unlike all of those other mornings, the mailmare was not going to find any muffins awaiting her.

Because they were out.

Out of muffins.

They had run out of muffins.
How had this happened? Why had so many customers wanted muffins this morning? And how could Pinkie have let the replacement batch burn so badly? She was baking another batch as fast as she possibly could, but Pinkie knew Derpy’s routine like the back of her hoof. The muffins weren’t going to make it. Any second now, Derpy was going to walk in, see the empty spot in the display counter where the various types of muffins should have been, and let out a wail of anguish so great that the Princesses would hear it.

The bell over the door rang, and Pinkie looked over to see the beginning of her nightmare scenario playing out. Derpy was standing there, empty mailbags hanging at her side, and her eye was staring straight at where the muffins would have been had they still existed.

Except, no, that was Derpy’s other eye, the “mischief maker,” as the blonde pegasus called it. Her good eye was firmly set on Pinkie, and she let out a cheerful, “Good morning, Pinkie!”

“Uh, hey, Derpy,” Pinkie replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with one hoof. “Er… how was your route this morning?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old,” Derpy replied with a beautiful smile, one that Pinkie savoured as likely the last smile she’d ever see. “Lots of letters today, though, so I had to fly extra fast to keep to my schedule! I built up a big appetite, so I hope you’ve got a lot of muffins!”

“About that, Derpy, I…” Pinkie took a deep breath, and then began speaking in rapidfire. “We ran out of muffins and I burnt the next batch so I don’t have any muffins for you and I’m so sorry and I’ll understand if you want to break up with me and never see me again.”

Pinkie cringed, eyes closed as she finished her whirlwind explanation, awaiting the wrath of a Derpy denied, but it never came. Instead, she felt the soft breeze of a pegasus’ approach, followed by a quick kiss on her cheek. Perplexed, she opened her eyes, only to find Derpy hovering near her with an understanding smile. “Don’t worry about it, Pinkie.”

“What?” Pinkie asked incredulously as she got back on her hooves, looking up into the eyes of her marefriend. “But… you love muffins! You rave about them!”

“I do like muffins, silly!” Derpy replied with a giggle. “But I like you a lot more, and besides, it’s not like I don’t know what it’s like when things just go wrong. That’s how I lost my shipping job, remember?”

“So you’re not mad?” Pinkie replied with a hopeful smile, her question answered a moment later as Derpy pounced on her, the pegasus’ lips and tongue meeting hers in just the sort of makeout session that the Cakes had said Pinkie needed to stop having on company time. Too bad they weren’t here this morning!

After a few minutes, Derpy broke the kiss and gave Pinkie an amused grin. “There, you okay, Pinkie Pie? Because now I’m even more hungry, not to mention thirsty. What sort of pastries to you have ready?”

Pinkie was just about to answer when the buzzing of the oven alerted her. “Oh! The muffins are ready!” She ran off to the back of the bakery to pull out her baking, leaving Derpy to just shake her head at her marefriend’s antics.

Author's Note:

This story was for Prompt #25: "Derptastic Love." The prompt was to ship Derpy with one of the Mane Six. It's entirely possible that this prompt came up because some mod's Beloved Spouse holds a Derpy ship above all others.