Krizak's Compendium of Concise Chronicles

by Krizak

Love, Sweet Love - Comedy

“Finally… We’re alone…” Rarity whispered in her huskiest voice, batting her eyelashes at her beloved.

Sashaying up in her slinkiest robe, the unicorn tittered giddily as she set the scene. “Sweetie Belle is having another sleepover at Fluttershy’s with her friends… I’m all caught up on my orders… and I managed to sneak you in here without anypony noticing…” She let loose a sultry smirk. “I think I deserve a little… reward, for all my hard efforts, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Oh, darling, we can’t let anypony know about us!” Rarity’s tone betrayed both her fear of being caught and the thrill the possibility gave her. “They would never understand, how I can’t live without you, how I can’t possibly go a day without your sweet kiss!”

“No, they must never know, especially not my friends!” the fashionista declared, her hooves firmly planted in her resolution. “They would seek to separate us! They would say you’re no good for me… and they’d be right!”

“Oh, my precious love, I know what you do to me! But I can’t help myself!” Rarity cradled her beloved in her hooves, tears coming dangerously close to spilling from her eyes. “How can I resist your dark allure, your rich scent, the way you feel when you’re inside of me… Oh, I must have you right now! I must!”

“Mmm… mmm… darling, let me taste you…” Rarity’s tongue delicately poked out, tasting her love in an intimate fashion. “Oh, such a flavour… I’ve waited for this for so long…” Unable to resist any longer, Rarity took her heart’s desire into her mouth. “Mmm… mmmph… MMMMH…”

“Um, Rarity, what are you doing?”

Rarity’s eyes widened in shock at the sound of Pinkie Pie’s voice, her entire world falling apart around her as she realized that she had been caught in the act. A faint glimmer of hope remained in her heart, however; of all the ponies that could have caught her, Pinkie Pie was the one who would be the most likely to believe some highly unlikely story. The unicorn looked up from her illicit activity, meeting Pinkie’s curious gaze as she asked, with as much false innocence as she could muster, “Whatever does it look like I’m doing, Pinkie?”

Pinkie smiled brightly at the question. “Oh, you don’t even know? That’s okay, I don’t know what I’m doing all the time! But, oh, hey, I know! I can use that deductive reasoning that Twilight taught me to find out what you’re doing, and then I can tell you, and then you’ll know! Oooh, I’m brilliant!”

Rarity wasn’t entirely sure where Pinkie suddenly obtained a magnifying glass from, though her theory was that it was from somewhere in that unruly mane of hers; even after all the times the unicorn had worked on her friend’s mane, its secrets remained a mystery to her. Pinkie took a quick perusal around the room with the magnifying glass, only looking around for about ten seconds before she shouted, “Eureka! I’ve got it!”

“Yessss?” Rarity inquired, a nervous smile on her lips.

“Well, my dear Rarity, it was a tough case,” Pinkie began to explain, and Rarity couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. “But the open box of chocolates on your bed and the smears of chocolate on your lips mean only one thing: you were eating chocolates!”

Well, that was obviously too much to hope for. “It’s—It’s true! I was eating chocolates!” Rarity confessed, bursting into tears. “Oh, please, Pinkie, p-p-please, don’t tell anypony else! This can be our little secret, right? Right!?”

Pinkie gave her friend a befuddled look. “Well, okay, Rarity, but I don’t get what the big deal is supposed to be. You were eating chocolates. I eat chocolates all the time!”

“Don’t you see, Pinkie? I’m supposed to be on—” Rarity leaned back, dramatically bringing a hoof to her forehead. “—a diet!”

She hadn’t expected her grand revelation to be met with giggles. “Oh, Rarity, you’re such a silly pony.” Pinkie lifted up one hoof and pressed it against her belly, making the round mass jiggle a little. “I’m certainly not the one who is gonna give you up because you can’t give up the sweets. Your secret’s safe with me!”

Rarity sighed, her worries fading away. “Oh, Pinkie, I should have know you would understand… Say,” she continued, her smile returning, “I suppose I wouldn’t be hurting my diet too much if I didn’t eat all of these chocolates. Care for a few?”

“Heehee, don’t mind if I do!”

Comments

[Krizak]

This story was for Prompt #12: "Hide Your Love Away." The prompt was for a pony to be trying to hide a love affair from another pony but to be caught in the act. The risqué choice of lines was totally an attempt to get a rise out of the mod running the prompt.