A lone changeling had been spending the last few years in Ponyville, taking only the necessary amounts of love when he needed. He had taken the guise of a brown stallion with a messy mane and tail. As Time Turner, the changeling opened a clock shop in town and had started building his first true friendship with one of the flower mares, Rose Luck. After the fiasco with the royal wedding, ponies became very suspicious of their friends and neighbors, scared that the wedding was only the first in a series of attacks. Time Turner had been able to play things off so far, until one of his former hive members showed up suddenly.
For a prompt by LoyaltoRainbowDash for Write Club.
Chapters (2)
Ah come on that cliff hanger was so cruel! Can you continue this?
6862443 Eh, maybe if enough people get on my case about it. If that becomes the case, I might just do a epilogue/sequel.
You should make another chapter or a sequel... And by that, I mean PLEASE continue this! I hate cliffhangers if they're never gonna have more to them! I'm pretty sure that the point of cliffhangers are to get the reader to read the next chapter/book anyways.
Also totally unrelated- PINKIE PIE IS BEST PONY!!!
6862668 well that's two!
6862668 and you can definitely expand on this base, days going by as he struggles to keep his identity a secret, him and rose confessing, ( I know its cliche) town finding out, then the ending(good bad, over the top, or in the middle, I shall leave up to you
Seeeqquuueeellll. I need to know what happens!
Very good, loved concept and execution, though slightly disappointed by cliffhanger. However, certainly will place this on favorites list..
Seems like a beginning to a story rather than a one-shot. It's something I'd like to see continued, if possible. :)
6922563 A lot of people have thought as such. I'm currently debating on putting an Epilogue onto this thing. Either that, or a sequel fic. Then again, I have no ideas for a sequel, so I might just allow somebody else to tackle that. By the way, thanks for faving this fic! It means a lot to me!
6925187 No problem at all! :) I enjoyed the story quite a bit.
I really liked this, a lot, but it really does seem like a beginning, not a complete story. Where is the resolution? We have the conflict but it really doesn't go anywhere. Who is this Catydid? What did he do? What is his relationship to Swarm? It's a lot of questions with very few answers. PLEASE, don't take this as me dissing you, please! I really enjoyed this and I consider your writing much better than quite a lot on this site. I mean seriously, put your search to rating and hit last page, ew. Even if you don't continue writing anything related to this, just know that several people enjoyed this little snipbit into your thoughts.
6992179 I have an epilogue planned to post, I'm just unsure if people would like what I've done with it. Plus, I'm not entirely satisfied with it at this venture. Thank you for your input on this fic. I hope that you give some of my other fics a read as well.
I was wondering what story this was for, and was gladly surprised to see it was this one.
the chapter itself was blocky, and had almost nothing but exposition thoughts. I believe that you could've spent a little more time fleshing this out, but it still was a good chapter. a good cleaning and this will be just as good as the first.
187 Catydid am i right?
7554286 Thanks for the input. Hopefully I can find some help to work out some of the issues. Perhaps I'll ask the editor of my fic End of Days, End of Nights or my editor for The Conversion Bureau EarthGate Saga: A Fist Clenched In Rage to help iron this out.
I wonder if Swarm ever revealed himself?
8157140 Did you read the Epilogue yet?
8157264 yes, I did
it said he patched things up as Time Turner, never mentioned if he revealed himself
8157269
Didn't read this part, I presume?
8157317 I somehow missed that....oops
8157343 That's okay. We all do that sometimes.
What a lovely plot summary
This.
This chapter was slightly less of a plot summary.
Slightly.