How Babby Formed?
I bet there is someone out there who has experienced a night more insane than mine. Trust me, there are many strange things that happen back on Earth that no one thinks would ever happen. Then they happen.
Of course, it would be hard to top my cake-a-fied Applejack, gibberish Rarity, smooched Pinkie, doll Fluttershy, chocolate Rainbow Dash, balloon Twilight, and also smooched me. Trust, it has been beat, but you just don't know it yet.
"I bet she's apple flavored."
Twilight took my statement very seriously, all things considered. Even as a balloon, she is a studious little unicorn. Balloonicorn? Let's go with that.
Her stare was ludicrous. "Are you serious, Sunny? How can you...?" She placed a helium filled hoof on her forehead. "I should just stop questioning these things, shouldn't I?"
She was greeted by nods from everypony capable. Let me count, that's... four. Four out of seven ponies have been rendered unable to move by their own will. Your plan was a success, Pinkie. I'll grab the goods while you distract the rest of them.
"Wiser words have never been spoken." At least, that's what I think. Not much more wise than saying Sunny isn't well in the head. If there are, tell me, so I can destroy them.
Twilight gave a sigh that told me she was saturated with me. "Pinkie, how long do these potions last?"
Pinkie gave a little shrug. "Something near a few hours or so. Not nearly enough time to figure out what ingredients Applejack is made of."
I'm not sure if I follow the teachings of Pinkie Pie, or if Pinkie Pie is following the teachings of me. Seriously, give it some thought. an you come up with a certain answer?
All the incapacitated ponies were lifted into the air by Twilight's magic. "I guess I'll haul away all these ponies and get them home, since they aren't going any where on their own." Pinkie gave a cheerful wave as Twilight departed, then turned to me when the door closed.
"Your not going with them?" She asked, her ever present smile growing even wider. I don'y know why it would do that, it isn't like she's in the same room as someone who is oddly similar and acts in a random manner as- oh wait a minute.
"Apparently not." I gave a pony shrug. I think it stole the satisfaction you get from beating Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts II. I felt way too good after doing something that shouldn't be anatomically possible. Actually, that makes it sound like it should very satisfying. Never mind.
She rubbed her hooves in a very evil manner. "I guess that means I can let you in on a little secret, then." Her smile didn't grow any bigger, just closer to the Joker's. Which is awesome.
I narrowed my eyes and put on my (very convincing) serious face. "Show me, master Pinkie."
She crept up the stairs, with me mimicking her every move. I guess I really have gotten used to walking on my own four hooves. I have achieved basic motor skills. A feat of epic proportions has been accomplished tonight.
Finally, we came upon a door. The door itself was normal, but I could feel something big beyond it. Like a blender. Don;t think about it. Your brain might hurt. And that would be bad.
Pinkie pulled a key from Celestia knows where, and slowly inserted it into the lock. With a creak that could deafen... something, the room opened up in front of me. And there were two babies in it.
Wut.
"Wut." My eyes probably grew three sizes too large that day. That can go on the list of impossible things I've done as well. Yay for me. Slap on the back and lots of cheering.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cake had foals a month ago, and I am their go-to babysitter!" Pinkie exclaimed with glee. I would be filled with glee as well if I got to watch baby ponies and make some nits for it as well. Dream job found.
"Wut." I am the Leonardo Da Vinci of lyrics, aren't I? Pinkie just giggled and dragged me over to their crib. One of them had a brown mane and creamy white coat, and the other had a light orange coat with a darker orange mane, like a carrot.
"Their names are Pound Cake and Carrot Cake." Well, that's one mystery solved. I bet the orange one is Pound Cake.
With a delightful squeak, Pinkie pulled out her trusty rubber chicken and tossed it into the crib. carrot Cake leaped like some sort of heat seeking shark and caught it in midair. Then something occurred to me.
"Wait, neither of these babaies are Earth Ponies. How can they be Mr. and Mrs. Cake's children?" Obviously, my good sir, you have never tampered with the laws of Physics. You really need to get out more, Cake family. Get off he bed and do something more safe for work.
"Well, Mr. Cake has some relatives who were unicorns and earth ponies."
"Oh." Well, that was a much more simple answer than I was expecting. I guess everything can't be as illegal as I want it to be. Dramatic sigh.
Then being a pony of utmost responsibility, I just reached into the crib and hugged the little buggers. Their coats were even softer than any other pony's before. New and improved coat, now available on babies.
"Awwwww, you guys look so sweet..." said Pinkie. Since I don't have floating eyeballs that let me see myself without a mirror, I couldn't contribute an opinion. I had one all typed up and every thing. Darn.
"I hope I do. It would look creepy if I didn't look cute holding two very adorable babies in my hooves." Yeah, we don't want me to look like some sort of creepy pony who knows almost everything about a pony before meeting th- oh wait.
I glanced at the two epic piles of pony awesome. "Can they talk yet?"
Pinkie smiled. "Nope!"
Curses, I was hoping I could corrupt them with my twisted human ways before they could even tell what corruption was." Truly, I believe in the greatest of good Christian morals. An upstanding citizen at his best.
"Is it okay if I take them out of the crib to play with them?"
Pinkie seemed to be facinated by the very concept of playing with babies. "Oh, that's a wonderful idea! Let's do that!"
I hoisted the little guy and girl out of their crib and placed them on the floor. Suddenly I realized I didn't have any clue how ponies played with the youngsters. Finding a use for the dusty old thing called a brain, I just plopped Carrot Cake on my shoulders and then made a derp face. Derp a doo shmoop.
This caused Pinkie to burst into laughter. "you're really good at making faces, Sunny!"
"Well, I like to think it's my specialty. Weird that I haven't gotten a Cutie Mark for that." And since I can't remember if somepony told me about Cutie Marks yet, I'll just hope that nopony will notice my slip in knowledge! I would make a wonderful spy.
Then Carrot Cake made an extremely similar face to mine. I slowly set her down on the floor, before falling on the floor myself when I exploded into righteous laughter. It was half-way between a normal, run of the mill laugh and my evil laugh. The of abomination of sound made me laugh harder, making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is told in the ancient scrolls...
"I have taught you well, young padawan." I manged to get out before the laughter overtook my lungs once again.
"What's a padawan?" Pinkie asked, somehow shutting her laughs off for the moment. I don't know how she did it. Teach me, master.
"Human thing, you wouldn't understand" I casually stated. Pinkie would not be put off by a simple barrier of species.
"Be more specific." she uttered as she leaned in close.
"well, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..."
Just as I finished the introduction, Pound cake flew by. he flew. By. I looked at my wings, sitting at my sides, useless. I then cried in a corner. Literally.
"Whoa, Sunny, what's wrong?" Pinkie asked with concern evident in her voice. Behind her, Pound Cake did a back flip. I cried harder.
"T-The baby can fly, a-and I can't..." I hope my eyes were doing the thing where the wiggle around the edges. That's been on my life checklist for a long time, and it would be nice to get something good out of this random mental breakdown.
Pinkie then pulled out a pig nose, put it on hers, and sung. She sung. I was to engrossed in the epic unfolding before me to actually understand the words over my gibbering lips. The tears changed from tears of sadness to tears of pure and unmolested joy.
"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard..." I said, making Pinkie smile with glee before hoof-pumping. Wow, does that sound nothing like fist-pump. Meh.
She brushed a hoof off on her chest. "Could it be anything else?" I enthusiastically shook my head. At the moment, I don't think it could be. The universe has written a new law saying that anything sung be Pinkie Pie becomes the most beautiful thing in existence. All is right in the world.
Since my sadness was crushed under the sparkly hoof of glorious pink joy, I decided to turn the flying baby into a source of inspiration. If the whelp can do it, so can I!
For the second time in my life, I began hovering in the air. This was something that I had down. Actually moving in any direction was another challenge entirely. I just barely shifted my weight to the side like last time, only I started moving slowly sideways instead of grinding into the ground.
"I haven't died yet! Yes!" I did my own hoof-pump, which turned out to be my undoing. I found myself looking at some glowing spots on the ceiling while Pinkie gasped and rushed to my side.
"Oh my gosh, are you alright Sunny?!"
I raised my quivering hoof into the air. "I-I've fallen, and I c-can't get up... life alert, save me...!"
Pinkie then hugged me. "Good, your still acting like you. That's a good sign." Instead of checking to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, Pinkie just continued to hug me some more. I guess that's cool. probably. I mean it's not like I might need medical attention. No way.
"If it takes m-more than one s-shot, you w-weren't using a J-Jacob's...!" Pound Cake and Carrot Cake walked over to me, worried about the mass of tear stained me that was lying prone on the floor. Carrot Cake poked me. "You two join in too!"
I then pulled them unwillingly into the group hug. This will teach their young minds that sometimes love and compassion will be forced upon them violently and without choice. Tomorrow, we will work on becoming sociopaths.
Surprisingly enough, they didn't even argue. They just hugged right back. As a group, we were probably more precious than just me and the babies. It would make a great family photo or something.
"Can I breath now...?" Oh yeah, the hugs were choking me. Forgot that little detail. Wonder how I manged to do that. I guess friendship really can erase anything bad, like near death by hugging! Yay~!
Everypony, including the babies, clopped (heh heh) away from me, and I greedily sicked in some air. OnceI had soem air in my lungs the hugging resumed for a little longer. I then waved for them to step away so I could keep breathing, which is something I consider important.
"Now that you all know how to kill somepony, let's move on to lesson number two, shall we?" I joked as me breath came back slowly. You may or may not be surprised how fatal pony hugs can be. Those hooves do more than protect our feet, you know.
"So you aren't hurt?" Pinkie asked. I nodded. A huge weight seemed to lift off of her shoulders, and her characteristic smile returned triumphantly. Like some sort of war veteran. The battle for Chin Peak, perhaps?
"How about I don't try that again for awhile longer. Sound good?" Now it was Pinkie's turn to nod. Nodding contest, go! *violent shaking*
A light bulb went off somewhere in Pinkie's head. "Maybe we should do something safer, like chess?" Seems odd that the great and powerful Pinkie Pie would ever suggest playing something like chess, but I agreed wholeheartedly anyways. What's not to like about chess?
I'm going to get totally creamed, aren't I?
* * * * *
I got totally creamed.
Somehow, Pinkie chanelled all, and I am talking all, of her crazy and epic-ness into her chess skill. She beat me in like, six turns. I can't even remember how we moved the pieces. It confuses me to no end.
Staring intently at the massive failure of a chess game that was my lost, I sighed. "Since when were you the world's greatest chest player?"
"Since it was the only thing I did for four years!" Hey, that's like when the only good video game I had was Super Smash Bros: Brawl. We both have a streak of doing one pointless thing! Woot!
"That would definitively explain you skill." I said with a sigh. Glancing to the side, I noticed the babies giggling and pointing at me. How dare they mock me for my level of chess expertise! "How dare you mock my level of chess expertise! I challenge you to a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"
Pound Cake's eyes narrowed, and he flew (HRGEJGIG) over to Pinkie and gestured for her to get out of her seat, to which she complied. When Pound Cake sat down, he took the first move.
This is going to be an easy victory.
* * * * *
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
* * * * *
A/N: Holy crap, I'm not dead. That's a huge shocker. I very sincerely apologize for the massive delay in chapters, but you can blame that on the Trojan virus followed by derp-tastic failure that my computer went through. Seriously, Norton solved the problem, and then I just couldn't open anything. It was liek my computer didn't want me to hurry up and give you guys some stupid stuff to laugh at.
In other news, I should be getting a better laptop very soon! I know that piece of news doesn't affect this story or you in any way, but i feel like telling you pointless and random things anyways. I'm so considerate.
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Silly you! Norton dosent solve your problems
Regarding to the first part.Your both insane.
.......He just got beat by a baby.......
Well now I want to make Alex go on a killing spree , I blame you !
145835 What's the point in living if you don'y have fun doing it, hmmm?
Are you spying on me? Because seriously, you know EXACTLY how to make me laugh. Curse you~!
145964 You can rest easy knowing that I am totally not invading your dreams in any way, shape, or form. Your privacy is secure!
SwEet dReAms~!
I thought it was Pumpkin Cake...
146224 I have no clue. I am sticking with Carrot Cake and there is nothing you can do about it.
fantastic
146224It is, Mr. Cakes name is Carrot Cake. L337pony just mixed up the names I think.
147144 Allow me to beat myself senseless. One moment.
*SmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmack*
You are right! What is the fun in behaving normally?
Oh dear god!! Are you all right? you didn't need to hit your self that hard! How many fingers am i holding up?
153618 Twnety seven... now let me go back to sleep, mother. I need mah slepes
................meh close enough.
155140 Heh heh, heh... 69...
159172 Indeed. If anything, the biggest change from the first chapter to other chapters was me realizing that when you fix grammar *gasp* ponies like your stuff more. And a slight decrease in laziness.
It's Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. Carrot is their dad.