The End Is Neigh

by BraxAttacks

Bottles... Are Scary

A/N: Just found out about ThePianoGuys over on Youtube. They are geniuses. You have to go and listen to their songs if you haven't. I really want an electric cello now. Also, I apologize for the delay. Just haven't really wanted to write for some reason.

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Pinkie Pie... wants to play spin the bottle... with random potions. That sounds like a health hazard in so many ways, I don't feel like this is a good idea to be a part of. Oh who am I kidding, I want to chug one of those things!

"How exactly does 'Pinkie Pie style' work, darling?" Rarity looked nervous, for good reason. I mean, If I were a normal person, I would be scared too. But I'm not a normal person, so I am instead looking forward to this experience.

"You spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on has to drink a random potion!"

You know, I bet one of those potions turns you into a gorilla. There is no real reason why I think that, but I bet there is. Just you wait and see, somepony here is going to become a gorilla, and if they don't, then I will make them become a gorilla! All of them!

"Oh, um... okay then." rarity wasn't really sure how to respond, apparently. Silly filly, all you have to do is kill the sensible part of your brain and stuff it in your mental garbage can, and everything will turn out fine!

"I for one think this is a brilliant idea." I was smiling like a school filly on a snow day. This was going to satisfy my need for weird, for certain.

Pinkie motioned for us to all sit down in a circle next to the coach. Before anypony else could, I leapt like a professional... jumper, and landed on the coach in that awesome laying down thing ponies can do. I then buried my face in the coach for a second, before looking up and giving an evil laugh at everypony else's weird looks.

Then I clapped my hooves together, gave a wicked grin, and did my villin voice. "Let the games... begin!" Pinkie set the bottle down in the middle of our circle, and spun it.

I swear, you could eat the tension in the room. I bet it didn't taste too good, so I'm not sure why you would want to, but you could. Everypony was, metaphorically speaking (except me), on the edge of their seats. It was a wonderful feeling.

The bottle began to slow down, and the tension changed from a thick feeling in the air to gravy. It still probably didn't taste too good, even gravy-ified, but maybe a little better than before.

The bottle stopped on Rarity.

She visibly cringed when the neck pointed strait at her, and I almost laughed out loud. Almost. I have to admit, it was a difficult battle to fight against the strange glee I was getting from this. It became even harder when Rarity grasped a bottle at random with her magic and brought it up to her face.

The brew was a light green color, like Mountain Dew. If I could type a copyright symbol out, I would, but due certain complications that involve a distinct lack of a numpad, I could not. This is truly a sad world that you live in.

Rarity took a tentative sniff at the fumes coming out of the potion. If she thought it would smell bad or something, she was in for a shock, because her face lit up while she blinked in surprise. "That smells rather good, all things considered." Then, bolstered by the good aroma, downed the thing.

Nothing seemed to happen. We all just sat there, not really sure what to do. make her take another one? Then rarity talked. "Did the cabbage occur to you?" She clamped a hoof to her mouth as soon as the words left her mouth, and her stare suggested that she thought it had betrayed her.

I lost the bottle to hold back laughter.

She turned her glare to me as I, and Pinkie, stared rolling on the floor clutching our sides in mirth. It was simply to wonderful, hearing rarity say something like, 'Did the cabbage occur to you?' It just made my already awesome day. I swear, at some point all the awesome in me is going to give a heart attack. Of rainbows.

"The laughing marshmallows should stop hurting my insides!"

This, of course, only caused us to laugh even harder, and pretty soon everypony else was laughing too. By now, both me and Pinkie were dying. Not dead, just mostly dead, there's a difference, see.

By then, Rarity realized that glaring was a losing battle, so she let out a small chuckle as well. Now, it was time for another spin, and we were all ready for the type of random contained within the potions. Except you really can't be prepared for the unexpected, because then it's the expected.

Once again, the bottle was spinning in a swift circle. I wanted i tot land on me, simply to see what would happen. Seeing random crap happen to other ponies? That's cool. Having weird crap happen to you? That is a whole other story, my friend.

It slowed, then stopped on Fluttershy. Dear sweet Celestia, Fluttershy. This is going to be amazing I bet.

Fluttershy squealed when it stopped on her. She looked scared, and I instantly felt bad for her. I mean, who doesn't feel bad for scared Fluttershy? If you actually have someone in mind, I would like their address, so I can give them a... chat... yes...

"Oh, u-um, I guess I j-just take one?" I really hope I don't laugh at whatever happens to Fluttershy. I would just feel awful. Except, I would be laughing, so in the moment I probably wouldn't feel bad. Just afterwords. Sorry, Fluttershy.

She gripped a bottle with her hooves, and peered through the glass. This one was a deep red concoction, and no smoke or mist could be seen above it. It looked kind of like blood, when you look at it... Maybe it makes you into a vampire, I don't know.

Fluttershy lifted the potion to her lips, hooves quivering as they struggled to keep a firm grip on the glass. The crimson drink went down her throat, and everypony was waiting for what would happen next.

She turned into a doll.

Now, a normal person would probably recoil in horror at seeing one of their idols turning into stitching and cloth. If you didn't know I'm not a normal person, I feel sorry for the tiny intelligence you have been cursed with. I dove to Flutter-doll and hugged her to me chest.

"I will protect you!" I sat down at my spot again, though without letting go of the doll. I don't think God intended the faces that the ponies were making to be physically possible, but they were happening anyways.

"What just happened...?" Twilight looked very, very confused. If I just saw someone dive across the floor to grab a doll of one of their friends, I would- oh wait, I would clap for them. Sorry. If you just saw someone dive across the floor to grab a doll of your friend, you would be confused too.

"I happened." Did I have any choice to say anything but that? Did I really? If you think yes, I did have a choice, the universe would like to disagree with you.

"Um... moving on..." Rarity motioned for Pinkie to spin the bottle once again, and she did so with gusto. I think the chaos in the room was giving Pinkie more strength, like some sort of party Sith Lord or something. I don't know, and honestly, who does know about Pinkie?

This time, the bottle pointed at the spinner herself. With out even looking backwards, Pinkie expertly grabbed a bottle and brought it in front of her. Except, it wasn't just one bottle, but two identical bottles tied together with pink ribbon.

The potion it self was also pink, with heart shaped clouds of pink mist rising of of it. I need your help guys, I have no idea what this could possibly do. It just stumps me.

"Looks we need to spin to see who gets to second potion!" The way she said that had way too much enthusiasm in it. If I had those 'emotions' everyone keeps talking about, then I might have been disturbed. As it were, I just focused on figuring out what the thing could possibly do. Still stumps me.

I think everypony else was much more uncomfortable with the idea of getting to share the pink stuff with Pinkie. They have a right to be so; it's in the Equestrian law-book of the Celestial Rule. Chapter twenty four, paragraph five, sentence three. You'll find it.

Guess who the great and powerful bottle chose next? Me. Huge shocker, I know. None of you saw that one coming.

I think I made the challenge accepted face or something, because Applejack raised one eyebrow at me. Pinkie handed me one of the glass bottles, and began a countdown. "3... 2... 1..."

Okay, so the potion didn't exactly what I thought it would do. Instead, it just got straight to the point and smashed me and Pinkie's lips together, just like that. It didn't even give me a chance to swallow the darn stuff, it just wanted to get this over with and take a nap or something.

Naturally, I tried to escape the totally everyday and not-awkward-at-all position that I was in. The potion had other ideas. I swear, this was every single bad thing I had ever done compressed into a pink liquid. Aw crap, that means I'm going to be here all day. There goes sleep.

And just to spit me more, Pinkie seemed to be happy with this. I mean, I know Pinkie is supposed to be happy all the time, but this is just ridiculous. Even after several seconds, the potion didn't let up. rarity fainted, too. She even manged to fit in the dramatic swoon and everything. Silly drama pony.

Finally, the magical hold on me and Pinkie let go. I fell over backwards, since I had used the chance to not even try to sit up. Now, I was laying on my back with only a single word to summarize what I had just went through.

"Huh."

He's a genius! Give him the Noble Peace Prize, the Medal of Honor, everything you have. He is obviously a living dictionary. Let's give him a stunning round of applause, everypony!

"well, that was strange." Applejack, somehow hiding her surprise behind her southern drawl. Hold on, I have a spell for this.. hold on... alright, sacrifice a live goat, feed it sliver to the- oh, you can see this? Uh... you didn't hear anything. At all. Nope. Nothing at all about goats or livers.

"Weird is an understatement." Rainbow added helpfully. I bet no one had realized this was weird until you said that, dash. Congratulations are in order. Via death.

I wildly flailed my hoof in the air. "Your all next! Bwahahahahahaha!" All issues have been resolved. I got an evil laugh out of it, I'm fine. It is such a good example of how pure I am, since laughing manically makes me feel better. I must be an angel.

Apparently I am one scaring freaking multi-colored little pony, because they looked frightened now. Like sheep. They looked like little scared sheep. Do have any idea what I'm talking about? No? Me neither.

Pinkie, maintaining her creepy contented smile, sent the bottle twirling again. It landed on Twilight. She flinched when the thing settled on her, as if it spit at her. Empty bottles with the ability to spit. That sounds like a horrible kids movie to me.

Fetching a random potion with her magic, Twilight brought a bright yellow potion to her face (Insert piss joke here.) She hesitantly brought the stuff to her lips, downing it as fast as her equine lips allowed.

Now, the change wasn't easy to notice at first. It was a gradual process, but after a few seconds, it was obvious. Twilight's coat and mane began to take on a waxy texture, becoming clearer and clearer with each passing second. Her mane and tail seemed to inflate, like a balloon.

And that was exactly the case. Twilight had become a balloon. I was half surprised to see her blink, and look down at herself. She didn't react at first, either because of shock or because turning unto helium filled rubber messes with your mind. Probably both.

"Well this is a new feeling." her clear body seemed to ripple as she spoke with a shockingly not high pitched voice. Instead it sounded more like they were talking through a thin wall, half muffled. In experimentation, Twilight lifted a hoof, and nothing too different from the normal way somepony moves about. I bet she was expecting to fly away like a little birdie. No birdie for you.

"Is the rubber chicken zapped by the spinning events?" Rarity had woken from her faint, and tried and ultimately failed to convey what she wanted. Such is the fate of those cursed by the derp voice. They say it can't be treated, that it is fatal to the infected. They say it can burn your house down too, if your not careful!

"Next pony!" I yelled, before spinning the bottle before Pinkie could. I was completely recovered from, you know, kissing best pony by then. In fact, upon further examination of how I acted, I am forced to deduce that I was more cheerful the rest of the day.

After a few rounds of landing on ponies who already went, Rainbow Dash was finally picked. Courtesy of Pinkie, she was given a vile black potion that seemed to rumble as Rainbow peered inside, as if it didn't want to be drank. that makes sense actually, since being drunk would be like dying for a beverage. And now we can call everypony here a murderer. Hooray~!

Without even a trace of fear, Rainbow gulped down the whole thing. Not a single drop remained. Maybe the potion was suicidal, and was simply excited to be a death's door. I have no idea, can potions be suicidal? Does anyone even know? Scientist, get on that.

And then Rainbow Dash the pegesus became chocolate.

And let me tell you, I would have eaten her if it didn't mean pissing off a lot of bronies who had been put under the illusion that she was better than Pinkie Pie. I think she was milk chocolate, but at the same time it was just as likely that dark chocolate was the real thing she had been inflicted with.

There wasn't even time for her to full appreciate becoming a delectable snack. It was just, poof, you are chocolate now. Have fun being eaten by your friends. It i ssomething you simply must try, I guarantee you will like it. Unless you don't, in which case I don't guarantee it.

With that out of the way, there was only one pony left who had taken the leap of faith along with the rest of us. Applejack, the time of reckoning has come for you. Accept your duties, and allow yourself to be taken on whatever crazy journey the greater powers take you on.

Fittingly, Applejack received an orange potion. It bubbled and fizzed violently in its glass confines, trying to claw its way to freedom any way possible. She eyed it suspiciously, un-trusting of the weird drink given to her by the crazy pony. Nothing strange here.

I rubbed my front hooves together while wearing a wicked grin. "Go ahead, Applejack. It's completely safe." To my incredible surprise, she wasn't soothed by my graceful smile. I just don't understand that pony.

Regardless, she drank it, and the effects took place immediately. Starting from the tip of her tail to the tip of her muzzle, her body became cake covered in orange frosting. It looked like high quality frosting, too. Oh! Oh, I know exactly what her thoughts were as the cake consumed her.

Oh mah god, Ah'm cream filled.

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Well, hope your daily crazy intake was satisfied. If it wasn't, then I don't think anything can sate your hunger. At all. God would fail to do so if he tried. Either way, I have no idea when the next chapter will be done, don't forget to rate, and a merry Christmas to us all!

Comments

[Sonicbrony66]

"Oh mah god, Ah'm cream filled."
Giggidy.

[SureFreeD]

Mad, much?

[Stormy Vision]

I was hoping pinkie pie would drink a growth potion and turn into pinkiezilla.

[Cunt_Crusader]

"Oh mah god, Ah'm cream filled"

That's what she said.

[.Tzeentch.]

arrg i wanted twinkie pinkie

[Meta Knight]

fantastic

[Dunbarrio]

it has been decided pinkie is officially best pony

*grabs a random potion and gulps it down*

[Cunt_Crusader]

moar

NOW

moar

[BraxAttacks]

Alright, I apologize for the massive delay in your dose of stupid, but I blame that on all the time I have spent dicking around in Skyrim. I swear, if I find one more angry lady who hates bears, I'll go insane, murder my family, and then promptly devour a checkers piece.

[Harpsanimation]

u my friend are a god

[Ice]

97492 already done it

[BraxAttacks]

105040 Wait, let me test that...

*screams of intense pain come from all around you as the room briefly lights on fire*

yep, I'm a god alright. Fancy that.

[Cunt_Crusader]

moaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroororor

[BraxAttacks]

112421 Of course I'm su- wait, no. No I'm not. Hm.

[BraxAttacks]

You know How I always joke the world is out to get me? Yeah, turns out that's true. Got a trojin virus on the computer I type on, so now the only method of writing is through my iPod. That wouldn't be a problem if the STUPID BLUETOOTH KEYBOARD WOULD- ahem, excuse me. I apologize for the further increased delay, but don't fear. I have $360 saved up for a better laptop that can do more stuff. With twenty percent less death.

[BraxAttacks]

135554 I think so. I don't know for sure, but I do I spent way too long laughing when the idea of becoming a girl entered my head. My lungs and I now have a distent relationship.