• Member Since 6th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen Yesterday

CrystalFlowerProductions


Vending Machines are like the Gods of the gym.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 34 )

Hmm ... this was pretty good even though there were some errors like when

But atlas I return from my gaze

. I think you meant alas, but I'm not sure. Anyways good story for a first fic, see you later.

Not bad for your first fic, though there are a few grammar errors and misuse of homophones.

Also, it's View.

Thank you and I guess I forgot the comma. Fix that now :pinkiehappy:
6823023

6823028 Thank you for the help. I've attempted to remove the errors which I believe were wrong. I'm that used to my own writing that it's hard for me to proof read but I get what you mean, I did see a few grammar errors. And thanks for the point out on the title, I didn't notice that. :twilightsmile:

good story and a lot of feels

6823302 Thank you. I guess this fic is going better than I thought :)

6823328 your welcome

The feels... :fluttercry:

I hope they are eventually forgiven.

Cya
Raziel-chan

6824591 Thank you. I really appreciate it. :pinkiesmile:

I missed this side of Fimfiction.

I. Love. This.:pinkiesad2:

D'aaw how nice. Can anyone tell me why the user is banned?

6863075 I guess I can take 'Daw how nice' as a compliment but anyway I made another account and I guess they thought I was going to do something which is unacceptable but two weeks of banning was the price to pay unfortunately:pinkiesad2:

6938246 Yea mate don't do that. Double accounts aren't nice.

6938240 No prob! ^w^;

What a great little one shot! Changelings totally deserve more love. I think they are cute. :P

This thing. YES! Just awesome in general.

6961877 Why thank you! This fic has gone considerably better than I thought :pinkiehappy:

6962301 Philosophic stuff isn't my thing that this one was thoughtful enought to Get me hooked up.

This was a nice story. There were feels everywhere.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3620_medium.jpg
However:

Will you accept our forgiveness?

That question makes it sound like it was the ponies who invaded the changelings, when it should be the other way around. Perhaps a better way to phrase the question would be: "Will you offer us your forgiveness?"

6971590 Thanks for pointing that out, I literally have no idea why I put 'forgiveness'. :rainbowkiss:

6971727 I wasn't sure whether or not that was deliberate, but I actually really loved the effect it had. "Why won't you forgive us" is a changeling who might understand that the ponies were hurt by the invasion, but who sees the potential survival of their own family as inherently excusing that. "Why won't you accept our forgiveness" is one who realizes that the ponies were right in fighting back and, now that an invasion has proven to obviously not be the best course, wants to mend the relationship, but who doesn't get the concept of holding a grudge. Maybe more clearly, the first puts the burden of being in the wrong (currently, not at the wedding) on the changelings, while the second turns that back on the ponies themselves. It's definitely not in line with our mentality/morality – or what we've seen of the ponies' – but it makes for an amazing study in how those affect conflict resolution and several other things it's too late at night to find words for. If you're familiar with TvTropes, it's exploring Blue and Orange Morality in a way that we're actually able to more or less identify with (if you aren't familiar with the site, be very careful with what pages you open, especially if you use multiple tabs, or you can easily lose several hours on it).

Also, I really love how you characterize Chrysalis throughout the story. She is just as beloved as Celestia is, if not more so, and everything we hear of her shows that she deserves that affection (maybe even more than Celestia does, and I do like the alicorn). She goes into the invasion with good expectations and a reasonable strategy, and just seems to not be as good at improvising around disruptions. And even when everything falls apart and she realizes she's probably going to lose a large portion of the hive, at the very least, she (eventually) decides to mask her own sorrow to try to make her children's last days/weeks/months as happy as possible.

So, yes, my little changeling, I forgive you, for whatever that may be worth. :twilightsmile:

And thanks for proving that we're still putting out changeling fics. Makes me feel a lot better about the one I'm planning for after the story I'm currently slowly working on.

THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE CUTE CHANGELING ART

*grabs gun* Some equestrians gonna die tonight!.........FOR THE QUEEN!!

This is a very well put together story. Wish there was a sequel. :rainbowkiss:

Spelling is an issue. I will edit this comment with a link to a document containing all the corrections I could find.

But other than that, this is a very emotional story. So many authors focus on the rage the ponies/changelings have for each other, but never on how the changelings are relatively innocent.

Good job!

7058450

(Ooooh? Is that an RP in making? :-) )

*Grabs rifle*
Come get some, boyo!
We Equestrians are always glad to give invaders a good beatin'!


-------------

"We did it over survival so you've got to understand, we did it to save our kind."

Couldn't you just have asked for help, instead of trying to invade Equestria?
You all are not that bad at diplomacy, now, are you?

7125702
Please allow me to voice my opinion here.

"Were not monsters, we just want to survive like you.
We're quite similar you and I. We love freedom, always love a adventure once in a while and when it comes to survival, we will do what ever it will take for our species to be safe. I know that last statement was harsh in a way, but that's natural selection for you; the creatures with the better characteristic live on while the others just go out of existence."

They say they like freedom, but don't seem to have given the slightest damn about the freedom of others before things went sour for them.

So the Changelings could attack and enslave whoever they want, it would be for their survival, and it would be natural selection.
But the Equestrians couldn't defend themselves, because that would be prejudice and starving the Changelings?

Chrysalis "only" planned to "peacefully" abduct Mi Amore Cadenza and take her place,
making Cadence miserable in the process. Not to mention mind-controlling Shining Armor, the commanding officer the Solar Guard, basically an Equestrian VIP.
And she got more violent afterwards, getting to assault Her Solar Highness, Princess Celestia, but "only" because Twilight Sparkle stepped in to defend her homeland, her brother, and her soon-to-be sister-in-law (who is also the niece of the Two Alicorn Sisters, and the ruler of a country allied to Equestria, mind you)?

The Changeling writing this letter sounds like (s)he is trying to blame Twilight Sparkle for doing her duty, as an Equestrian citizen and patriot, naturally wanting to protect those she cares about, and also blames the Equestrians for doing the same thing as TS.

He or she seems to be genuinely regretting the current hostility between Changelings and Equestrians.
But if the invasion had succeeded, I don't think (s)he - or any Changeling - would have shown Equestrians any measure of the mercy, compassion, and respect that is now pressingly demanded for the Changeling kind.

That being said, the Changelings have been taught the hard way not to abduct neither invade anyone, but rather respect them as they would like being respected.
The Changelings have taken enough of their punishment, now.
They know they must not try anything against Equestria and its allies ever again.

Moreover, even being legitimately still bitter, wary, distrustful of the Changelings, and overall on the defensive towards them, the Equestrians must not turn a blind eye on the woes affecting their previously-hostile Changeling neighbours.

Some might say you don't let a downed-enemy be at peace,
for that would be risking having him (her) recovering and flying back at your throat or back-stabbing you.
And there is truth in that.

But Equestrians must not sink to endager an entire species.
Keep watch on them, but let them live. Help them being safe and staying alive.

I say forgiveness will hard to grant, but it must be granted.

it was so good that my eyes watered a little at the end

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!