A mare and her dog

by cammera

intermission of jocular purpose, An

Author's Note:

intermission of jocular purpose, An.

Or

Shit.

Applejack walked along a path with Winona.

ONLY IT WAS A HARDCORE PATH.

And she walked it, yeah.

And she was like

"Yo fucking dog don't you disappear"

And Winona was like

"Nuh-uh"

And she disappeared.

Applejack cursed in, like, a thousand thousand languages and kept walking

KEPT WALKING THE HARDCORE PATH.

WITH ROCKET LAUNCHERS AND LASER SHARKS AND SHIIIIIIIIIIII-.

Only the rocket launchers weren't hardcore enough and exploded.

FIERY EXPLOSIVE EXPLOSIONS OF FIRE

AND THE EXPLOSIONS WERE SO EXPLOSIVE THEY, LIKE

OPENED A MOTHERFUCKING PORTALINE PORTAL OF PORTALNESS AND HARDCORENESSNESS.

YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER YOUR INBRED ENCEPHALUM[1] CAN'T EVEN BEGIN UNDERSTANDING THE PORTALINESSNESS OF THE PORTALINE PORTAL AND HOW HARDCORE IT WAS.

AND A FUCKING HARDCORE HORSE FLEW OUT OF IT

AND SHE WAS LIKE

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

NO WAIT I FORGOT THE CAPS ON AND PRESSED SHIFT AND SHIT[2]

AND SHE WAS LIKE

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"[3]AND A FUCKHUGE BLUE DRAGON OF ICE AND SHIT TRIED TO FOLLOW HER

BUT SHE WAS SO HARDCORE, SHE FARTED AND HER FART ALIGHTED

AND THE FIERY FIRE MELTED THE DRAGON[4]

it wa-

IT WAS HARDCORE AS SHIT.

AND THE HARDCORE PEGASUS SAW APPLEJACK AND GOT LIKE

"frfrfrfrfrfrfrfrffrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrf"

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A FRFRFRFRFRFR IS OR HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT BUT I AM SURE ITS HARDCORE AS SHIT

AND APPLEJACK WAS LIKE

"Wait what the fuck"

AND WINONA APPEARED ONLY TO DISSAPEAR FOR FIVE DAYS.

I AM SURE SHE WAS DOING SOMETHING HARDCORE.

THEN THE PEGASUSUS KEPT STARING AT APPLEJACK[5]

AND SOME FAGGOT WROTE LIKE SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS ABOUT THE PEGASUSUSUS STARING AT APPLEJACK

IT WASN'T HARDCORE SO I'LL JUMP THE PART WHERE YEARS PASSED AND NOTHING HAPPENED.

THE PEGASUSUSUSUS WALKED TO APPLEJACK AND GOT LIKE

"frfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfr"

AGAIN.

I am starting to think the pegasusususus wasn't so hardcore after all.

AND APPLEJACK GOT LIKE

"Wait what the fuck?"

again.

AND THE PEGASUSUSUSUSUS TOOK A BANANA FROM APPLEJACK'S BAG

WHICH WAS LIKE HARDCORE HUGE

BECAUSE IT WAS HARDCORE

AND GOT LIKE

"Yo let's do lewd things with this banana"

AND APPLEJACK GOT LIKE

"K"[7]

AND THEY DID LEWD THINGS WITH THE BANANA

THE BANANA CRIED

THE FUCKING END.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

[1] Haha he said phalum

[2] hAHA HE RHYMED

[3] I USED THAT HOST BECAUSE THE URL HAS ALL THE LETTERS IN CAPS. AND THAT'S HARDCORE.

[4] Well, not in a literal way. It was more of an emotional kinda thing, very purple-prossy.

[5] In a not-hardcore way[6]

[6] It was kind of creepy actually.

[7] WHICH IS MORE HARDCORE THAN JUST SAYING ok OR okay OR alright

Comments

[cammera]

7111360 Pretty soon, actually within two/five chapters.
This arc was me fooling around with how plotty I could make one in an otherwise slice-of-life-y travel story, hence me going so over the top with... everything on it. Next PLOT-s will be shorter, certainly not, well, over a month.

[re- Yamsmos]

Someone on here just linked me to this story, and I'm kinda surprised because I have a story just like this on my user page, just starring Octavia instead of Applejack. It's got the whole "she took a walk but it was instead a huge adventure" plot as well.

Guess I gotta read it!

[ferret]

But... but how does she learn about the miracle?

[cammera]

8219597
OhFuckTheyFoundOut.
Miracle was supposed to be a month-long side chapter, but as CYOAs are given to do it overgrew it's pot, and by now I honestly don't consider these stories fully canonical to each other. I am kind of surprised it took this long for someone to find out. I was worried sick about it for the first few months.. I don't remember what was the Miracle originally, since it's been over a year now.
EDIT: If I have to be honest I am largely embarassed of AM&HD, it's not, how to put it, my highest achievement in writing.

[ferret]

8225729

OhFuckTheyFoundOut.

N O E S C A P E

Miracle was supposed to be a month-long side chapter,

How exactly was climbing an infinitely tall tower, saving a city that can't be saved, and killing a monster that can't be killed supposed to come to a resolution in a month?

I don't remember what the Miracle was

At this point I don't think it matters. It's something like friendship or honestitude or spacetime lubricant. What I thought this story was about was how AJ came to the conclusion that there was a Miracle. Did someone tell her about it? Did she inherit the knowlege somehow, from her ancestors? A run-in with one of those precursor information kiosk faces that melt your brain? And why does she need it? It can save Twilight? Equestria got destroyed? Apple Bloom's in trouble? But mostly I thought it was gonna be about how, and then everything explodes, and the story ends with "There is a miracle on the top of this tower, and I need it."

If I have to be honest I am largely embarassed of AM&HD, it's not, how to put it, my highest achievement in writing.

Well, don't be! It was a fun and rousing tale. Some of it was disjointed or experimental, but I enjoyed it. Instead, be proud that your highest achievement in writing is even better, though frankly I don't see what's so incredible about "Dust." It's a sweet story but... compared to it, this story embarasses you?

[cammera]

How exactly was climbing an infinitely tall tower, saving a city that can't be saved, and killing a monster that can't be killed supposed to come to a resolution in a month?

And here was my mistake.
I really, really didn't know what I was doing at first. I saw a cool image of a tower and had a flash of inspiration.

What I thought this story was about was how AJ came to the conclusion that there was a Miracle

Regarding Miracle: Applejack lost her Miracle when
Twilight took her memory,-- she doesn't remember what it is but, due to what Twilight describes as Applejack's unfetherable and unalterable core, realizes that she's missing something from the very instant she wakes up.
In recovering it she remembers herself and rewalks her hero journey, but it's still something that she knows she's missing at a primordial level, and that was painful enough for her and Twilight to see that Twilight hid it beyond AJ's reach.

Regarding this story: The Miracle didn't exist conceptually. Miracle grew from this because I felt the current format wasn't proper to write the story that Miracle is telling, and in the process became it's own thing.
Whether it grew like a cancerous tumor or like a tree it's for my readers to tell.

Well, don't be! It was a fun and rousing tale. Some of it was disjointed or experimental, but I enjoyed it.

I am glad of that, but the prose in some parts... hng, it's been -fairly, in my opinion- described as the anti flow. This was fun for me to write, and I might return to it -Maybe when I am done with Miracle?- but I still can't help cringing at it. Maybe it's artist's masochism.

Instead, be proud that your highest achievement in writing is even better, though frankly I don't see what's so incredible about "Dust." It's a sweet story but... compared to it, this story embarasses you?

I wouldn't call Dust my greatest, althrough I like how tight and focused it is. My greatest piece of writing... in CYOA Cirquesque's my best yet IMO, but I really couldn't say in traditional prose. Maybe I haven't reached it yet! which is a kind way of saying my writing still has much room for improvement.