Vampires do not Sparkle
A long day. Still, Celestia was optimistic. She’d made quiet rounds with the faculty to inform them of the Sunset situation, and no major objection had been raised. Some were even supportive, like Redheart:
“Well, Principal, I think you’re doing the right thing. You’re right – if we refused her, Sunset would just hare off on her own, and who knows what trouble she’d get into? I’ll patch her up when she needs it, same as the rest of you.”
Cranky Doodle was fine as well, which genuinely surprised Celestia. He was a pessimist, but also a realist.
“Miss, we don’t know two darned things about most of the monsters we fight, and not even one darned thing about their magic. If Sunset can help us even the odds, I say we let her.”
Iron Will, the gym teacher… he always had his own perspective on things.
“If Sunset’s a hunter, I’ll still be a thumper!”
“Ah… yes, Iron. But what do you think of it?”
“When zombies be bunching, IRON WILL BE PUNCHING!”
And then he did that thing where he rips off his shirt and vibrates his pecs.
The one Celestia was least confident about had been saved for last. While most of the faculty had by now accepted Sunset’s change of heart with good cheer, Nagatha Harshwhinny remained suspicious and hostile to the girl. She taught history, Sunset’s academic weak spot, and had zero reluctance to remind her of the Fall Formal. Celestia had learned second-hand that Harshwhinny squabbled with Luna, disliked the Rainbooms and Redheart… honestly, Celestia wasn’t too sure what the stern woman thought of her.
More to the point, she was the only member of the faculty who had been in “the business” longer than Celestia. Her opinion mattered, and Celestia would be a fool to ignore it.
In the end, the hours spent worrying about the talk proved needless. When the subject was broached, Harshwhinny simply glanced up from her papers, shrugged, and said, “Good luck.”
Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but neither was it an objection. When classes ended and Sunset came to the office, Celestia had been able to greet her with the honest statement that the faculty more-or-less approved of her joining.
“Even Miss Harshwhinny?” Sunset asked.
Celestia nodded, rationalizing that it was probably not a lie.
A few hours of informal chatting passed, this time with Luna playing a far more active role. To both parties’ surprise, they learned many of Earth’s monsters had equivalents in Sunset’s Equestria. Both worlds had fact-based legends of vampires, werewolves, and darker creatures from beyond time and space. Stranger still, when shown a photograph of a chalk-drawn symbol, Sunset had immediately identified it as a necromantic rune, and stated with confidence that it summoned zombies. She was not incorrect.
Other subjects found her rather more lacking. She had zero skill with firearms or explosives, and her only combat experience had been brawling with other students. She once had a switchblade knife for intimidation, but had long since thrown it away.
No one brought up the idea of using the Rainbooms’ magic. Celestia’s goal was to protect the student body, not involve them in the fight. Sunset’s unique knowledge made her an exception, but the exceptions ended with her.
As the conversation wore on, the boundaries between principals and student began to slide. They chatted and laughed over a delivered pizza, exchanging theories and comments.
Luna didn’t laugh, of course. But her glare grew marginally softer, and her smile came readily. The evening’s shadows grew long, and the sisters shared another near-telepathic glance.
“I think this was a good move,” Celestia communicated with an eyebrow wiggle and light laugh.
Luna’s arched eyebrow returned, “Don’t forget, it was my idea.” Celestia rolled her eyes, reaching for another slice of pizza.
And the lights went out. Three heads snapped upwards as the doorknob slowly turned.
Sunset stood bolt upright and looked around wildly, patting her belt for the weapon that was not there. “Where’s my backpack!? It’s got the gun!”
“You put it in the backpack?” Luna growled.
“Of course I did! Seriously, what were you thinking giving me that in front of–”
“It seems the hunters have recruited.”
The voice slithered through the door, loud and low, but distinctly feminine.
With a rush of cold air, the door swung open. A cloaked figure stood on the other side, very tall and with a bent, conical head. Arms too low for the shoulders pressed long fingers together in a mockery of prayer. Little else could be seen – the hallway and office were both dark, casting the creature in shadows.
“Such a young one. A little chick, ordered to hunt foxes. You poor things would be lost without the friendlier foxes, wouldn’t you?”
As the adrenaline gave way, Sunset blinked and squinted in the gloom. Something was… off, here. Neither principals were scrambling for weapons, or even giving the newcomer their full attention. Instead, Celestia pinched the bridge of her nose, while Luna groaned and looked away.
The stranger seemed off, too. Its voice came not from the conical head, but from a place below. Almost as if the cone was nothing more than a hat.
The coin dropped. Sunset couldn’t believe it, but… “Trixie?”
“In the undead flesh!” Trixie cried, raising her arms and returning to her normal voice.
“Seriously!?”
“No,” Luna said. “Not seriously.”
Ever the diplomat, Celestia explained. “She stumbled onto one of our meetings a few weeks back. Ever since then, she’s been a little…”
“Pain in the ass.” Luna finished.
“Wait. If you were a real vampire…” Sunset turned back to Trixie. “Wouldn’t they kill you?”
“Nuh-uh!” Trixie protested in a way that struck Sunset as distinctly un-vampireish. “Trixie is a good vampire! She helps protect the school! And she is a vampire! Here, watch!”
The girl’s right hand threw something to the ground. It cracked and popped just as the left hand switched on the lights. The return to vision brought Trixie’s details into view, with bright glitter swirling around her.
“Behold!” Trixie called, pointing a finger above her hat. “The Great and Powerful Trixie sparkles in the light!”
Sunset… lost her words. Without breaking her gaze, she pinched the palm of her left hand and wondered if the whole day had been just a really weird dream.
Luna, as it happened, was not at loss for words. “We all saw the glitter bomb, Trixie.” She had stepped closer during the darkened moments, and now pushed Trixie none-too-gently from the office.
Trixie squawked and protested, but Luna walked behind and continued pushing her in the direction of the exit. Soon they were out of sight, and Celestia scratched her head with a sheepish smile.
“Sorry about that.” She twirled a set of keys around her finger. “It’s pretty late. Where do you live? I’ll give you a ride.”
Sunset – as Celestia learned in that moment – had become a very, very poor liar. She opened her mouth like a fish, snapped it shut, and grinned like an idiot.
“Me? Ha-ha, don’t worry, I’ll just walk. Really, it’s right around the corner.”
“Sunset.”
Once more, Celestia deployed her authoritative voice. Sunset straightened instinctively, and her grin wavered.
“Where do you live?”
The voice of a principal – the voice that demanded answers. Sunset could only oblige. “I crash in Applejack’s barn.”
“She makes you sleep in the barn?” The authority dropped, leaving confusion and a hint of betrayal.
“She, uh…” Sunset fidgeted with her hands, laughing nervously. “She doesn’t know. Her brother makes his deliveries well before school starts, so I sneak in the truck and slip out when we’re close enough. I snag a few apples for breakfast… heh, don’t tell Applejack.”
“Interesting,” Celestia said, maintaining her stern tone. “Have your friends never asked?”
“I told them I live with my dad.”
“But… they know you’re from Equestria.”
“Yeah.” Sunset glanced to the side, and her smile shrank to a small, effacing grin. “I love my friends. And I love them even though they can be… kind of oblivious.”
“We all can be,” Celestia said, quickly assuaging the other’s guilt. A comforting pat on the shoulder bought her time to ponder Sunset’s condition, but only one choice came to mind. They could look elsewhere later.
“Come on home with us.” Celestia smiled welcomingly, and pressed on before the protest. “I… I’m not offering to adopt you. That’s not something I can decide on the fly. But you’re a growing girl, and a growing girl needs a real bed to sleep in.”
“Really?” Sunset laughed. “You’re pulling the ‘growing girl’ line on me again?”
“Absolutely.” Celestia beamed. “And consider this a condition for remaining ‘in.’ Refuse, and you’re out.”
“Alright, alright.” Sunset raised her arms in mock surrender. “Message received. Thanks for this. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I figure out something else.”
“Let me handle that,” Celestia said. “In the meantime… oh, Luna! Sunset will be coming home with us.”
Luna had materialized in the doorway, sans Trixie. She sent a glance to Sunset that could best be described as ‘baleful’ and turned back to Celestia. “Don’t you think you should check with your roommate, first?”
Celestia’s eternal smile remained unchanged. “It’s my house, sis.”
Luna’s voice never rose, but it somehow intensified with anger. “Oh, you’re playing that card. I see how it is.”
“You two live together?” Sunset squeaked, hoping to preempt their argument. Staying at Celestia’s place would be awkward enough without adding family drama to the mix.
“Yeah,” Luna huffed. “We share a room, too.”
“Really?” Sunset laughed. “What do you do when one of you brings… you know, a boyfriend? Someone that you want to spend the night with?”
She meant it as a light, friendly barb. “A hotel,” or something would be the answer, and the conversation would be drawn further from the drama.
Instead… silence. Cerlestia’s smile remained, but it was a painful, frozen thing. Luna just looked away.
The breaking of the silence was no less awkward. Celestia coughed weakly into her hand and stepped through the door. “Let’s go.”
With her sister’s back turned, Luna stepped close to Sunset, punched her once on the shoulder, and turned to follow.
As she trailed in their wake, Sunset gave her own punch – a rap of the knuckles on the side of her head.
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Well the hunters have a mage on there side...that actually kind of a huge deal really, it's like Cass from Supernatural...having a supernatural ally always helps.
This is why I like Iron Will so much, the guy also voiced Hercule from DBZ so his human form is both easy to picture and it doubles the hilarity.
Oh, Trixie
troll.me/images/supernatural/sparkly-vampire-did-he-take-a-bath-in-glitter-thumb.jpg
Ah yes. Every paranormal investigation team needs its Giles, the one who prioritizes knowledge over combat. Still, that doesn't mean Sunset can't learn, and she clearly has a lot to cover. Like tact.
Damn, I stop lurking on this site for a few days and this lovely gem of a story gets two new chapters. Well, on with the commentary
Since I don't think they've been given an official name here, I think I'll just call the faculty the Hunters for convenience sake. Their logic here is rather sound -having an ally such as Sunset who actually knows quite a bit about magic-albeit magic of a different world-would certainly help qualify her even with little to no other practical skills. Hell, they can train her how to fight-her knowledge of magic, on the other hand, is virtually irreplaceable.
On one hand, I squeeing on the inside at Trixie being...well, Trixie. On the other hand, I'm screaming in horror at Trixie being a fan of sparkly vampires.
No. Just... no.
This is a serious breach of logic that I just can't ignore here. I can get into multiple things wrong with this. First off, I can not see any way, shape or form that Sunset Shimmer, prior to her reformation, would sleep in a barn any longer than she absolutely has to. One of her first goals would have been finding a place of her own. How she would manage this without some form of ID is difficult to answer, but it is very possible. Maybe she would have been squatting in an abandoned building and leeched electricity from other places. She could conned some old man with no family into listing her in his will right before he died and gottensome type of home/and or cash out of it. Other fics use the rather likely fact that she would have had some bits bits-freaking gold coins- with her when she came through. Pocket change in her world, but extremely valuable to the point of possibly being set for years if she got a good exchange or, hell, even a mediocre one could probably set her up with some proper investment.
Okay, maybe post reformation she doesn't want to do bad stuff anymore. That's fine. I still don't see her living in Applejack's barn. I don't know if you've ever lived on a farm before, but a conspicuous lack of comfort, heating, cooling, clean water, and possibly even electricity makes a barn rather...unpalatable when Sunset could somewhat reasonably find really almost anywhere else to live.
Once again, any of the previous living ideas (barring conning an old men or something along those lines) are still viable. Hell, Sunset could possibly work a part time job at some place to fun an apartment with a landlord that doesn't ask too many questions.
Besides a barn not having many of the tiny necessities required for daily life to make sure no one questions you about home life if you're going freaking High School, there's no way in hell her friends wouldn't have noticed and done something about it. Yes, they can be oblivious about some things, but I cannot see this continuing for any length of time with a such a close group of friends. If absolutely nothing else, Rarity would have noticed that Sunset probably had some difficulty maintaining her appearance.
Besides Applejack living on the damn place being bound to notice Sunset crashing at her barn, I honestly cannot see Sunset sneaking onto Big Macintosh truck every single day without him noticing. Maybe a couple of times she could have managed it, but even the most oblivious person would eventually notice something is up.
Now, I realize there is a possibility that Applejack and Big Macintosh, or why not all of them, know what Sunset is doing and have been ignoring it to not embarrass her and she just doesn't know that they know. That would still be improbable, as I honestly cannot see Applejack, or really any of them, not confronting her about it virtually immediately and offering her a bed and a place to stay in exchange for a little extra help on farm. Yes, it would be awkward to say the least, but one of their best friends is living in a fucking barn. That little factoid takes priority over embarrassment.
Basically, I see absolutely no good way to justify this in universe. None whatsoever.
Now, I'm not trying to sound mean here, but this just be ignored. Right now, it's a gaping plot hole where even in universe logic fails completely and utterly (and I am accounting for the power of friendship creating rainbow lasers of doom and everyone here being a copy of a magical pony in land of rainbows and occasionally soul stealing darkness).
Aside from all that...nice chapter.
Looks like the Rune Soldier can SOOO do comedy.
Dang you're going to end up on my best fics library at this rate...
I knew this would be a good story. Given that you wrote "To Try for the Sun," how could it not be?
Anyone else imagine Iron Will as Armstrong from FMA?
7002202 "This zombie punching technique has been passed down the Will family for generations!"
derpicdn.net/img/2015/8/29/967859/large.jpeg
Fuck! I forgot to favorite the other stories you made! Time to fix that.
7054410 Seems legit.
But Twilight does!
i1.wp.com/www.elfarandi.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Dwayne-Johnson.gif?resize=600%2C337
I've never had anything to do with that Twilight but even I know that you, Trixie, are bad and should feel bad.
(If that's a reference I don't know where from)
Thanks for the shoutout.;)
#ForeverAlone
6823795 I just looked this up, and unfortunately it isn't true: Iron Will was voiced by Trevor Devall, who's never touched the Dragon Ball franchise (at least according to his WP page); Hercule was voiced by Don Brown in the Ocean dub and by Chris Rager in the Funimation dub (neither of who have touched the MLP franchise). I really do wish it was true, though; Hercule and Iron Will having the same VA would've made Iron a hundred times better (which is saying something given how awesome he was anyways). Of course, there may be overlap in other languages; I only checked the English VAs...
I am glad you added that author's note at the end because for a second I thought that the implication was Princest. Might want to clear that up somewhere in the narrative.
The Principals are forever alone. Makes sense, if you ask me.
WOOOO! YOLO!
Lol, those last few lines. I thought you were alluding to them sleeping together, but no, it just turns out there both really bad at getting dates.
I must formally disagree with this chapter: Vampires do indeed sparkle. But only if you use incendiary rounds.
Judgement Knights of Trixieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
6824086
Luna will probably be the one teaching tact. Right there with subtlety.
8899825
Glad to see I'm not the only one who's mind jumped straight to Princest, or Principalcest in this case I suppose.
Trixie's such a dork
Killing vampires and werewolves and leprechauns. I never actually found one...
9500028
do you think Lucky Charms would explode out if we shot one?
9699404
Depends on the sub-species.
Oh, I read the TV tropes page... the family drama is just starting
See in RPGs she would be classified as a brawler mage they're monk style fighters that specialized in magic meaning their magic level and their endurance is through the roof
The sheer detail in which I visualised this will keep me up tonight
Well, this is shaping up to be rather entertaining. I love me a good monster hunter setting, and a proper adventuring team really should include a mage.
...... because of course Trixie would be exactly that type of extra....
And I see we are speed running through the handwaving where Sunset had been living to get right to hey moving in with Lucy and Tina. Fair enough. Now the big question, is this a setting where Sunset saw Celestia as a mother figure? And how much can she separate her thoughts on the two of them?
11653212
Naturally!