NinetailsCreativity
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Just going to leave this here.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/20/12637.jpg
6812987
yeah i wanted cuddlelambs twi busted pic but mods thought it was to NSFW which is fine and i completely forgot about that one.
I like your interpretation of tomes, gems and magic. And the trap book was an interesting touch.
You may want to have an editor look it over as there are some homophone errors ("wright" where "write" should be used, for instance)
6813019
I see thank you. stupid tricky homophones. ^.^
I don't, but I'd like to point out that your story description would be much more appealing without the constant grammatical errors. Try to spend a little time on your own editing this, and pay attention to punctuation and capitalization.
That's not necessarily true. One of Fimfiction's bigger weaknesses is that the rules really depend on which mod you talk to. If they told you personally, that's another story entirely.
6813128
I see, thank you for being understanding. I am working on my grammar, and for the sex tag its been much more recent I've seen people have to add it, because they have been told to do so. I simply went ahead and added it too avoid the whole problem from that start, and mainly cause this story is made to appeal to the fetish side rather then the cute AB side.
Thanks for being awesome.
This story is pretty good, but like others said, it slightly suffers from the grammar and spelling mistakes.
I give you an upvote of encouragement, and when you get those mistakes cleaned up, I'll make it a fave.
6815574
thank you for the vote of confidence. ^.^
I like the concept and the content but man, you need to work on your spelling and punctuation. Random capitalization (as well as the lack of it), misspelled words (it's ironic that you can spell "write" correctly. "Wright" is the name of the brothers who built the first airplane), wonky formatting (you do realize different computers have different screen resolutions and when you just make a solid line of dashes as a page break it looks like a mess on a phone, right?)...
The good news is those are mostly easy to fix if you put a little effort into learning how things work. I'll be watching this because I have weird and sometimes disgusting fetishes that need fuel, but we'd both benefit if you took some extra pride in your work.
6822787
KK I'm right in the process of fixing them and i do take pride in my work. I'm working on improving my grammar.
For phones I'v already taken the dashes out, but I can't expect to have it perfect for phones, tablets, and computers.
6822846
It's a start.
As for the page breaks, I'm pretty sure FiM Fiction has a page break tool that inserts a proper one in. If there isn't, then you just do something like
_-_-_-_
with centered formatting. That way it always appears in the center, and it doesn't extend into a new line.
6823273
hmm yeah that can work. I'll work that into future chapters thank you. ^.^
this is an awesome story so far, I love seeing TS getting humiliated in public with a baby treatment. I hope to see a lot of chapters of this story to see how far TS will fall into this treatment. I wander if it will go way beyond the control of Celestia and that it will spread to the rest of the castle. I also wander if it will also start to affect the mind as well over time.
6827800
Wow thank you I'm glad you really like it, and hopefully you'll like the coming chapters.
great story i like it
funny how she is humiliated
but damn it celestia why this way
sometimes i think shes just cruel
still a great story
Well I'll follow the story cuaise it's entertaining at least . Yeah Celestia method of unodhwmtn is really odd but she plot I guess . Not sure I've ever seen a doc use magi to control a foal in such a way . Well there was this one story but it was more mind control
I like the concept. However, the execution leaves much to be desired.
6841705
and what is it you desire from the story?
6841722
Maybe it's just your grammar and punctuation, and you could simply do with an editor or at least a proofreader.
lets start with the second paragraph as an example:
This is...rather awkwardly worded. Did you mean non-magical? did you mean to say that "none of them come with enchantments"?
jumping down:
“good Celestia should be leaving for her weekend business in Manehattan now, which leaves me free to check this out.”
missing a comma after "good", and "good" should be capitalized.
and another example...
Lets fix it, shall we?
I don't feel like proofreading or editing the whole thing, but that should at least give you an idea of the kinds of errors you need to look out for.
6841743
Thank you for pointing out some errors. A lot of people have mentioned to look for a proof reader, and I'v had people proof read through it, but they are not masters of grammar or punctuation ether.
I'v fix what you'v mentioned. With the exception of one of the commas in between ( Oh, Twilight, ) as I felt it made Celestia sound more surprised rather then the disappointed tone I was going for.
finally
In a sense yes, but more as its not used as a magic tool like tomes or gems its describing it as a spell text book, but I felt going that blatant would be redundant as Twilight is reading a texted book. Your reading about twilight, reading a text book, about a spell text book, there has got to be some kind of inception joke there right?
Just when I was starting to think the story was dead.
7164880
yeah ill be updating my other story as well, and may be do a blog to explain why iv had no updates in a while.
It's great to see an other chapter of this story again. this is really the sort of story that I like about his sort of fetich's. Can't wait to see what will happen next.
“Don’t you think this is a little cruel aunty maybe we can just end it hear. It should be here
Twilight awoke to the feeling of being rock and a warm body holding her. It should be rocked
Perhaps this would work better.
Twilight awoke to the feeling of being held against a warm body as she was rocked.
7230999
Agreed and thank you for pointing those errors out.^.^
7231029 No problem. I found another one you might want to look at.
What no you stupid book change me! Ewww gross no I don’t want to bounces in this mess!”
What?! No you stupid book, change me! Ewww gross, I don’t want to be bounced in this mess!”
7231160
Fixed thank you ^.^
7231191 You forgot to cap the N in no.
If you don't mind, how about you go to my story "Secret Lives of Background ponies" I have been writing for the last few months and leave a massage. So far no one has left a message and I'm starting to get weirded out, I mean, why doesn't anyone leave a comment? Ether good or bad, it would be nice to have some feedback. You don't haft to read my story, you can just be the first to comment, it might just get others to start commenting.
This had been a good story. I will be looking forward to see more of your work.
The lesson was little too humiliating for my tastes.
There could be a good story in the, buy you've certainly managed to hide it under a lot of out-of-character dialogue and actions, along with plenty of typos.
I found this list of acronyms for DNR, but none of them seem to fit this circumstance. Explain what your definition is in this story please.
9286826
a DNR contract is a Do Not Release it another version of a gag order.
9286955
Ah. Thanks.