• Published 14th Jun 2012
  • 2,265 Views, 34 Comments

Volde the Changeling - Hawkeye



Sometimes, weird shit happens and you end up somewhere you never thought possible. This is my story.

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Principals, how the fuck do they work? (Prologue)

I’m unimpressive. I’m physically below average and do not work out in the slightest, nor do I know any kind of martial art or even know how to fight. Intellectually, I’m only slightly above average, interested in math and tend to be better than most at that particular subject, but I’m no genius and I can make a lot of mistakes, especially when it involves financing. That is one thing I will never get, quadratics? No problem. Trigonometry? Easy as pie. But if you ask me to calculate how much money something will cost me after a certain period of time based on several factors, I can’t do it. I’m quiet, mostly spend the day just sitting in class, doing the work I’m given and not interacting with those around me unless they specifically talk to me, which rarely happens because most people know that I don’t have anything overly interesting to say. Always just blend into the crowd unnoticed, unseen, almost like I'm taking the form of others around me to seem inconspicuous.

Why was all that important? I don’t know, you tell me. Not like I’m telling you an important story about some kind of weird shit that happened to me and caused me to be where I am right now. Nope, not happening.

Okay, I’ll continue. All this happened one day because of me not being discreet enough. I was sitting in class, at the back, trying to be inconspicuous about watching a television show on the internet. That show was My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yep, I’m a brony. Who would have guessed, right? Anyways, we recently had a new principal hired by the school and it just so happens that he was wandering through classes while I was doing this. As he walked through my class, he spotted me watching the show and came up to me, pressing the power button on the computer before he grabbed me by the shoulder. That guy was aggressive and I thought I was in deep shit. He dragged me to his office and sat me down before he began to speak.

“So, you like watching ponies in the middle of class?” Wait, what? He actually knows what it was?

“...Yes, sir,” I responded quickly. What a lame response it was.

As it turns out, he was a brony as well, an even bigger one than I was, and that is saying something. We talked for a long time, we discussed the lack of physics, favourite ponies, logic that is involved, how magic works, how pegasi manage to control the weather. I gave my theories and he gave his, it was a surprisingly long and enjoyable conversation, which unsettled me greatly because he was a teacher- not just a teacher, but the principal, it was weird and I felt like this was just him winding me up before a heart crushing punishment. It was the last week of the last year of high school and somehow, for the first time ever, I found myself in trouble, sitting in front of the principal of all people. I mostly pushed that thought to the back of my mind however throughout the entire conversation. But then...

“Would you like to go to Equestria if you could?” he asked. I don’t know why, but this caused me to pause for a moment. Every brony has asked themselves this question before, I’m no exception. I’d asked myself this question multiple times and always I would answer the same.

“Yes. Of course I would like to go there. But, I know that that thought is not going to come about because it is not possible to go there due to it being a fictional world.”

“Can you be sure of that?”

“Sir, we were just discussing the fact that Equestria does not have any logical form of physics. Not to mention the unlikelihood that watching a cartoon is that of peering into another universe entirely. The odds of that happening are astronomically against that being possible.”

“If you were to go there, what would you want to be?” A sudden change of direction, kind of derailing the current conversation here man. Whatever.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t care. Just being there would be a million times better than being here. Whether I were a pony, griffon, dragon, whatever, I would just be happy to be there, no matter what.”

“What would you say if I said I could send you there?”

“Pardon my language sir, but I’d say you were full of shit, considering it wouldn’t be possible.”

“You need to stop being so sure of yourself,” he snapped his fingers.

“I’m sorry, wha- WHAT THE FUCK!?” Suddenly I was falling, not down like you normally would, but it seemed as though gravity reversed for me as I was falling upwards, I was glad when I hit the ceiling, it was there to keep me from floating helplessly into the atmosphere. That was until of course, I started sinking through the ceiling. The last thing I saw before everything went black was the principal with his smug expression, waving at me.

Then, I passed out due to the lack of oxygen that wasn’t in the ceiling and everything began.