Chapter 3: Glad to have finally cleared things up… Oh no, here comes a doozy
Chapter 3
“Glad to have finally cleared things up… Oh no, here comes a doozy”
“This is so amazing! It is like racing through the air, galloping at incredible speed! Now I know what being on a rollercoaster ride feels like! I’m as light as a feather! Weeeee! *giggle*” Kelly squealed in delight, feeling the cool, strong gust of air hitting her tiny body, and Rainbow Dash’s mane flapping in her face, tickling her.
The Pegasus smiled, happy to have taken the girl’s mind of her hardships. However that grin turned into a frown of pity, the winged pony wishing that this out-landish kid could see the incredible ever-changing view of flight. It was like diving into a bucket of adrenalin and awesome!
“We’ll be landing now! You may feel a little jolt.” Rainbow dash warned her passenger, followed by her hooves hitting the dirt in front of Twilight’s house.
The recoil caused the child to bonk her chin slightly against the equine’s skull, eliciting a little “Ow!” from both of them, followed by a mutual cackle at the goof.
“Just hold on to my tail and follow me okay? I’ll tell you when to go and stop. I need to prepare my friend before I introduce you. I’m still not sure how she will react to a creature from another world.” The teal pony gave all the necessary warnings to which the maiden replied with a nod.
Cautiously, Dash pushed the entry door half open and took a peek. Good! No one was on the ground floor. With a soft “Go” the rainbow tailed mare lead the foreign being inside, adding a “Stop” after a couple of steps.
“Twilight, Spike? Are you guys home?” the sporty tomboy raised her voice.
“Sure, I am Rainbow! Just double-checking my check list! I’ll be right down!” a female voice came from upstairs.
Kelly liked that voice. It sounded warm, responsible and caring and reminded her of her mother.
“No, TS! I’ll come up! I want to introduce you to… a new friend of mine… but I… need to talk to you alone first!” The WB admirer made things clear, prompting the one “on her tail” to let go with a whisper. With a “Be back soon” promise, the Pegasus went up the stairs for a little chat with the intelligent scholar.
Twilight greeted her amigo at the entrance of the second floor, as they hoof-bumped and sat on a pair of nearby pillows.
“Where’s Spike?” Dashy looked left and right nervously.
“Oh, I sent him on an errand to collect some overdue books. He was reluctant at first but immediately changed his mind when I mentioned one of his stops was at Carousel Boutique.” the smart pony snickered, followed by her chum. “So, who’s this new friend you met? Is he or she from around here?”
“That’s just it! She isn’t from here. Now I want you to promise you will Not freak out.”
“Sure, but where could she be from, the Griffin kingdom?” the purple unicorn joked only to be greeted by an answer that was the last thing on her mind.
“No, she kinda has this “another universe” thing going on. She’s like a really strange little kid from a strange alien species. Also I haven’t asked her how she came here in the first place because I thought you might be able to figure things out better with that big brain of yours.”
“Really?” was the first thing that came to Twi’s mind after the shock had passed “How is that possible? I’ve never heard of a spell that breaks the time and space barrier. Well, maybe there might be such a thing in the Starswirl the bearded section at Canterlot but that’s just me speculating. Sweet Celestia! A whole new species for me to explore! This is going to be so exciting!” the nerdy filly clopped her forehooves against each other, her enthusiasm growing larger and larger.
“Shush and listen.” the lazy but dependable flying mare shoved her hoof in her companion’s mouth “Geez, you talk as fast as Pinkie when you get like this! Anyways, I don’t think it’s a good thing to go all sciency on her, poking her with your questions. She’s very sensitive and needs friendly reassurance and to feel secure. You can ask her the basic stuff but that’s all. Also there is one thing you must know about this girl. She has a certain “condition”.”
“Condition?” Twilight pricked up her ears, taking this statement seriously.
Meanwhile the out-worldly guest decided to wander around. After a timid walk in circle, she came in contact with a rough hard mane. Another pony? No! It was made out of wood. A bust probably.
“That poor misfortunate creature! To be born that way! I Pinkie Promise, I’ll be careful with her Rainbow Dash.” the lavender equine gasped.
“Okay then, let’s go!” Rainbow Dash led her PFF down to meet Kelly.
They saw the girl sitting on the ground and feeling about the pages of a book. Picking up the clattering sound from horse feet, the small pale creature lifted her head and said:
“Do you have anything in Braille?”
“Why, yes. In fact we do.” Miss Sparkle walked up to the blind little thing and put her hoof in her hand, encouraging a hand-hoofshake “Hello there! My name is Twilight Sparkle, the librarian of this place, and a personal student to princess Celestia.” she automatically added that last part.
“I’m very happy to meet you. Wow, Rainbow Dash, I didn’t know your friend was someone important! She even knows a real princess! Is the princess a pony too?” the lass couldn’t help but be in awe of absolutely every little thing she was going through.
“Yes, she is. Fascinating! Using a terminology similar to ours as an example of saying –body instead of –pony.” the geeky pony made a squee sound effect but then changed her approach, when she saw her Pegasus pal’s irritated expression “So, what is your name, species, age and place of origin?”
“I’m Kelly Sombermayer, 6 years old. I think my species is scientifically called Homo Sapiens, or a human for short and I come from the city of Brooklyn, situated in the country of the United States of America, planet Earth.” the human carefully arranged the data.
“You’re very knowledgeable at such a young age. And possess an amazing vocabulary too.” the unicorn showed excellent observation.
“Thank you! Ever since I learned how to read at age 3, I’ve read a lot.”
I knew that she and Twilight would be a good match. They both like using big words. The weather filly thought as she observed the dialogue between the two bright beings progress “How about we move this to the bedroom where it’s comfier.”
The loyal pony’s suggestion was met with general approval, and so they moved up to the aforenamed position.
The trio got all the way up to Twilight’s bedroom, placing themselves on the hostess’ bed.
“Now, could you be so kind as to tell me everything you remember regarding how you got here.” the book loving mare inquired, in a very polite tone, helping the girl lie down.
“Well, I remember almost nothing. I recall going to bed with the other kids, and when I woke up, I was lying on some sort of a dirt road. I felt my way around walls of buildings. I was so scared, but I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing even though I’m blind! Eventually I reached a really big wide area. By the clopping sounds, I could tell there were horse like creatures around me, but I still had no clue as to where I was. I called out for help but they all got scared, called me creepy and ran away into hiding. I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life! That’s when… Rainbow Dash found me.” the sad little lady gave a look of hope, meant for her rescuer, which left the equine in question quite flattered.
“Well, what can I say. I never leave anypony hanging. The place where I found her was the market, and it was dead empty when I got there. But by the time we left, I could see some no good ponies peeping from their windows. How could they just leave her! Why I oughta…” the hot-tempered diva really felt angry when she was cut by her level-headed PFF.
“Don’t be mad Rainbow! They were just scared because they didn’t know her. Like the time everypony used to hide from Zecora.”
“They… were… scared?” Kelly felt like she was stabbed with a little pin in the heart “Am I ugly or something?”
“Nooo, no! It’s not like that! Ponies are just affraid of what they do not understand.” both mares comforted her, by caressing the child with their hooves.
“Haven’t your parents always told you how pretty and special you are?” TS suddenly opened up a topic, she did not know was a sensitive one “As a matter of fact, they must be worried sick!”
“Um… Twi! Don’t talk about her parents, she’s an…” Rainbow Dash tried to shush her friend again.
“No, need for that Rainbow! I can tell her myself.” the pale-skinned missy raised her hand as a sign to stop.
So, Twilight was explained as to how Kelly became an orphan.
“How awful! You have my deepest condolences.” The pony wizard embraced the little creature with all her maternal feelings.
“Twilight, you remind me so much of my mommy when she was alive.” The girl spread her affection all around the room, affecting every living creature within in a deep way “May I receive permission to touch your face?”
“It’s how she can get to know you.” The Wonder Bolt fan filled in her chum on the meaning of this gesture.
“I’d be glad if you do.” The unicorn smiled kindly.
The same process repeated itself as it did with Rainbow Dash. Only this time when the human’s fingers took hold of the horn on the intelligent animal’s forehead, her eyes glimmered with glee.
“Do you have unicorn magic in that horn?”
“I do! I’m very talented with it too. I can perform a variety of spells, from levitating objects to teleportation.” The librarian nodded in confirmation.
“I cannot express how happy I am to have met you both. I feel so lucky!” The alien maiden felt humbled to be in the presence of such creatures.
“Well, I Am pretty amazing.” RD smirked smugly, elbowed by the purple scholar right in the knee.
“Let’s go downstairs again and have some tea!” The diplomatic equine urged the others, and they descended back to the ground floor.
When they reached the parlor, the three came across a familiar baby dragon rummaging in the recycling bin.
“Where is it? I thought I scrapped Rarity’s gift right here!” Spike dug deeper and deeper, eventually falling in with a funny yell by his side.
“Spiiiike! Don’t go swimming in the waste bin like that! Now you’ll need to take a bath again.” Twilight sighed, annoyed with her assistant.
“Just a minute Twilight… I almost got it!” the reptile waved his claw outside its digging area.
“Umm, Twilight, maybe we should hold him off meeting our new friend Kelly because…” The sky dancing Pegasus tried to warn her friend but that didn’t work out well.
“Who?” the draconic little guy’s head popped out from under all the paper, only for his eyes to go wide “Woa-ho-hooo…” the baby dragon tumbled out of the trash can, all sorts of disposed waste flying everywhere “What is that thing? Is it dangerous?”
“Uuuuuuurgh! Don’t call other living beings “things” Spike! It’s rude! And if she was dangerous, she wouldn’t be standing here, being called our friend!” The smarty pony’s annoyance grew at the jumpy nature of her assistant.
“It’s okay, Twilight. It must be a shock for him to meet an individual of a new species he has never seen before.” Kelly intervened, walking up to where she last heard the new voice and reaching out her hand “Hey, there! I’m Kelly.”
“Spike.” the scaled reptilian took her hand in his claw and shook it carefully.
“You aren’t a pony are you.” The girl grinned, grasping his wrist, going up to his shoulder.
“No, I’m a dragon!” Spike pouted, withholding a puff of smoke he wished to snort out at what he thought was a rude guest.
“Let her touch your face Spike. It’s how she gets acquainted with everypony.” miss Sparkle giggled at what promised to be a cute scene.
“B-but…”The draconis tried to protest but gave up seeing the o’so expecting friendly face of the alien in front of him “Fine!” he grumbled.
The child was astonished as she caressed his warm scales, spikes and spines and was absolutely thrilled to touch the front teeth and hold the short shovel like tail of this amazing mythological beast.
“I never thought I’d be touching a real fire-breathing dragon before!” lil lady Sombermayer complimented Spike, filling him with self-esteem and pride, only to accidentally step on them a little “Though I always imagined dragons would be a 100 times bigger than me.”
Before the insulted magical assistant could tell the outlander off, the purple mare quickly made a statement:
“He’s only a baby dragon. Grown dragons are just as big as you can imagine.”
“Hey, aren’t we here to get some tea? I’m dying of thirst over here!” Rainbow Dash folded her hoofs with impatience, hovering above the others.
“Yes we are. Spike, could you prepare us some tea?” the lavender unicorn turned to her assistant, then to the human “And what kind of tea would you like Kelly?”
“Herbal with thyme or chamomile if you have.”
“Good! A cup of thyme and two cups of jasmine.” Twilight finalized the order.
“Coming right up!” Spike saluted, retreating to the kitchen.
“Let’s take a seat shall we.” the librarian levitated 3 pillows and placed them just when everybody sat down at the table.
“What was that strange sound just now?” Kelly turned her head at random.
“Oh, you mean the sound that my magic makes when I use it.” the intelligent mare specified.
“Tea is ready!” Spike returned, with a platter with tree cups.
“That was fast!” the weather pony raised a brow.
“You wouldn’t believe how effective my assistant is.” Twi raised her cup with her magic and took a sip.
“Here’s your cup Kelly.” the dragon offered the kid her cup.
For his perplexity however, Kelly didn’t look back at him. She kept grasping air as if her beverage was invisible to her.
How can she not see it? It’s right in front of her face! The impatient the young draconis thought in annoyance as he decided to hand it to her but in his haste he pushed too hard and that caused a small amount of hot tea to spill on the little girl’s jeans.
“OW!” the little miss cried as steaming pain ran down her hip.
“KELLY! What happened?” both ponies got startled as they immediately drew their attention to the hurt kid.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Kelly! I didn’t mean to spill that tea on your leg! Please forgive me!” Spike circled around the lass, trying to calm her down.
“What did you do?” Rainbow glared at Spike, who gulped guiltily.
“I only wanted to give her the cup, but she wouldn’t take it, so I decided to hand it to her and it all happened accidentally!” the reptile blurted out.
“That’s because she’s blind you dummy! Don’t you remember how she needed to touch you like 5 minutes ago! That’s how she sees!” The angered Pegasus tiraded on the dragon.
“I-I didn’t know!” Spike felt smaller and smaller.
“Enough!” the human silenced everypony “It wasn’t his fault! He didn’t do it on purpose and I forgive him.” the girl grasped the little guy’s noggin and stroked on it caringly.
“Okay, now that we’ve settled down, maybe we should just forget about this whole ordeal, have some tea and tell Spike the rest of Kelly’s story.” The reasonable Element of Magic raised her hoof in the air and reestablished order.
After half an hour of filling in, drinking tea, and explaining to the human some basics of pony life, social structures and other details, the group decided to go over to Rarity’s, so they can maybe get a new bottom for Kelly and maybe be one step closer to making more ponies accept her as a friend.
“Now, I’ll teleport us all there so we need to stand close together.” TS instructed, as they all got together.
“Is Rarity a unicorn or a Pegasus?” the outworldly maiden asked out of curiosity.
“Unicorn.” RD called out.
“Not just any unicorn! The most beautiful unicorn in all of Eq…” the purple dragon couldn’t finish for the spell had already taken effect and teleported them.
They reappeared in the Boutique’s main work room. Everything was a bit chaotic with fabrics, drapes, streamers and scattered mannequins. One mannequin stood out for it was the only one with a dress on it, no doubt the newest of creations of the great Fashionista known as Rarity. The two ponies, human and dragon couldn’t find the pony they were looking for anywhere in the room, but three differing voices could be discerned behind the door that said “Inspiration room”. And the voices were growing clearer and clearer:
“As I said Apple Jack, you can’t judge a book by its cover. Not to mention that this creature of which you speak of might not be an apparition as you claim. And how are you so sure it’ll be coming after you, when it can’t just come waltzing in here and…” a pearly white unicorn went out the door followed by a timid yellow Pegasus with a pink mane and an orange freckled earth pony with a blonde one “Aaah, I see you decided to give us a visit Twilight, Rainbow, Spike and…” the lady-like equine paused left with no words, followed by the other two looking over her shoulders.
“Gyuuuuh! That’s the creepy ghost girl Ah’ve bin tellin’ y’all uhbout!” Apple Jack stood up on two hooves, completely terrified.
“HI! I found this beautiful awesome violin in some street corner and I was wondering who it belonged to!” A high pitched voice sounded from behind the visiting group, all heads diverting their attention to a pink pony with a fluffy magenta mane, holding a classical violin instrument in her mouth along with the bow. How could she speak with that thing, don’t ask. Pinkie just being Pinkie is all!
Stashing the instrument in an umbrella holder, the party mare surveyed the area, rubbing her chin with one hoof. Hmmmm! Something was odd about this sitch! There seems to be something extra in this picture besides all her friends. That’s when she spotted the small alien creature behind Twilight and Rainbow Dash and gasped in the most dramatic way possible, elevating herself in the air (just like that time in episode 1).
“Oh, boy! Here we go!” The cloud clearing superstar facehoofed for the incoming chaos about to ensue.
Cliffhanger inserted! U mad? XD
Just teasing ya! Hope you liked this one too coz there will be more!
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Very good for a first try! Heck, good period! I suggest a minor re-read or two before you publish, though, there are a few grammar issues.
i hope the next chapter doesn't take very long to come out i really like this story :P
This is soo much better than 99% of HiE stories. Can't wait for more
Hmmmm.... aside from a few spelling errors and misplaced words, this does look promising
This is the face I imagined when you said Cliffhanger.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/163/7/4/we_never_had_a_single_fight____by_myminiatureequine-d536j0y.gif
731543 Priceless
731602 Why thank you. Thank you very much =D
.
Awesome! Way to go!
731767 Well that's why the 3rd chapter is longer than the first 2 combined
731767 Ya silly
“Twilight, you remind me so much of my mommy when she was alive!”
I shed one tear for that line.
Aww, this is cuuutee!
Some issues however. My main one being that there are far too many exlamation marks, I know the characters in MLP are expressive but putting them at the end of nearly every dialog dilutes tbe impact. Also in some areas the exvlamation marks are counter-productive to the speach, like this for example:"“Now, could you be so kind as to tell me everything you remember regarding how you got here!” the book loving mare inquired, in a very polite tone, helping the girl lie down.". Not only does Twi politely inquire while shouting but there isnt a questing mark, so it seems to be that no question was asked at all.
My suggestion is that you proof-read it before you put it out or ask your readers in a blog post or an A/N at the beggining of a chapter of they want to volenteer.
Apart from those gramatical errors you're doing great! Keep it up!
You make me smile with all the little nicknames you give the characters
732522 I do read it one time to correct any mistakes but it seems that there are always some I overlook. So would you like to be my prereader, or maybe you could ask a friend of yours who is good at picking up mistakes like that.
If you are willing, then would you tell me how does this "someone prereads your chapter for mistakes" thing work?
733913 I see you like the constant name replacements I use so the story doesn't get all stale from the constant name usage. Its quite tedious at times really coz I really have to reuse some, and I was thinking of maybe going with the approach of just using their names constantly instead of always mixing it up with the replacements. I saw a story that uses that method and I was wondering if I should give it a go.
734997
What?
Oh yeah, the massive lecture...
It wasnt meant to be chastisment, if that is how it came out. Still the author holds the right to ingore everything I said.
735798 Ummm, excuse me but I'm serious!
I really think this would help improve my writing. I find your your criticism quite reasonable and it helps me make my stories better, so really I'll say it one more time with more seriousness added:
Ahem, would you like to be my prereader, or maybe you could ask a friend of yours who is good at picking up mistakes like that. Also would you tell me how does this "someone prereads your chapter for mistakes" thing work?
736362 Well, yes. I think I have eluded the matter of color when it came to my human OC, that's why she said "I only know what the color black is." unless you saw a mistake somewhere
736362 Unless this is where the mistake is... I dunno I'm not sure how it works. I think the part of their brain that is related so sight is shrouded constant darkness or something. That's why I wrote it that way. Movies always explained it that way.
Well maybe her caretakers told her that when they close they eyes they 'see black', and thus maybe she thinks sees the same? Kids, they are easy to explain to some things as they accept every answer( almost) ? :P
Cliffhanger inserted! U mad? XD
that made my day
737683 Thank you so very much!
That's a perfect excuse... errr... I mean explanation to this plot hole!
746112
np, consider me a GoodGuy Mule.
751659 In the middle of an exam session. I'll write a lil bit almost every day till I finish the next chapter. I've already began it so don't lose patience
Could not help it, was watching Star Trek Earlier! (Great Chapter though)
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/u_8fce29_1474489.jpg
761665 I could post a short version with a cliffhanger tomorrow, or I could post it a couple of days later preread with a couple of more pages and a satisfactory ending of a chapter. You decide
Btw just to tease, there will be an image with the installment of the next chapter. Prepare your tissues
!
A truly remarkable story.To think of an interesting scenario such as this and to add the details to invoke an emotional response this big is a true accomplishment.I would like to see more stories of this caliber as it will undoubtably change this website for the better.I want to wish you good luck with completing this story as well as your possible future endeavours.
774460 Much obliged
... :\ idk... I feel it to be very mary sue-ish, I'm all for smart kids or even geniuses however... it feels either really unrealistic or very forced.
I like the premise though.
And now she gets a Pinkie party
How do ponies read braille?
3028423 Maybe its for dragons and diamond dogs or some other creature with fingers
3028423 that's... a good question. How the hell DO ponies read Braille?
Anyway, in regards to this chapter, I think the story line works well, though the naming style for the characters is a bit off putting. Just keep writing them by name and occasionally use another term.
This writing is.... super redundant and over-exaggerated. I feel like whoever wrote this had a thesaurus on hand at all times.