• Published 2nd Jan 2016
  • 11,331 Views, 24 Comments

Winter with Rainbow - SpectrumSpeed



You and your best friend Rainbow Dash are messing around at winter time, which leads to you finding out her true feelings.

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The snowball fight

“Eat this!” calls Rainbow, right before a snowball hits you square in the face.

As you spit out some snow that had got in your mouth, the pegasus begins to laugh, she is quickly silenced however, when you pelt her with two of your snowballs. While Rainbow is briefly debilitated you decide to run for the nearest piece of cover, a tree.

You and Rainbow Dash engage in an all-out snow war for the next few minutes, until you look at the sky and realize that it's getting rather dark. “Hey, Dash it's getting pretty late, do you think we should head home?” you ask as a another snowball narrowly misses your head.

“Yeah I guess so, but first you have to tell me who the winner is.” she says with a confident grin plastered on her face.

“Alright then...you win Rainbow Dash.” you say, trying to sound annoyed. “Was there any doubt?” you add.

She hovers next to you with a hoof on her chin, pondering. “Hmm…not really” she says with a giggle, landing next to you.

You let out a light chuckle and ruffle her rainbow mane “You're so cute.” You remark.

A light red tint begins to form across Dash's cheeks and she looks down at the ground. “I-I forgot my scarf.” she says as she makes her way over to the tree that she was using for cover earlier.

“Alright, I’ll just wai-” your sentence is cut short when you hear a yelp coming from Rainbow’s direction, along with a crack and a thud a snow-covered branch lands on top of her.

“Rainbow are you okay?” you ask, sounding worried as you run over to help her. Upon lifting the branch you are met with a pair of pain filled, magenta eyes. “You okay?” you ask again.

“Y-yeah...ahh...totally fine, just a lousy old branch, nothing Rainbow Dash can’t handle” she says with a wince.

“Are you sure?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course I am, see? Totally fi-.” she begins to say, jumping up from the heap she was in, only to fall back down immediately. “Ouch, my foreleg.” she whimpers, holding it up in the air.

You move closer to inspect her injuries.

“Well...good news, it isn’t broken but I think you might have sprained it.”

“Ugh…just great!” Rainbow complains.

“Well you should probably have some rest, we can go back to my house, I’ll carry you.” you tell her as you begin to pick her up.

“W-wait Anon, I can just fly remember” she says blushing.

“Rainbow, I’m not going to let you fly right after you hurt yourself like that and anyway I did say you needed some rest.”

“Fiiiine.” Rainbow sighs.

“Good.” you say, smiling in triumph. You put your hands under Dash’s belly, feeling her soft fur. You lift her and she curls up in your arms, her blush deepening, you notice this but think nothing of it as you carry her back to your house.


----------


After around ten minutes of walking you and Rainbow arrive at your house, near the center of Ponyville. It isn't much but it does protect you from the winter's chill so you can’t complain. You close the door behind you as you enter with a rainbow-maned pegasus sleeping in your arms. She stirs when you lay her on the couch.

“We here already?-yawn-That was fast!” she says, waking up.

“Well you did sleep most of the way” you state, letting out a small laugh as you take your jacket off. You then notice that dash is shivering a little. “Hey Dash you look a little cold, do you want a hot drink?” You move through to the kitchen. “I should have some cocoa somewhere.”

“Yeah, that would be awesome!” she exclaims, perking up.

“Alright, give me a few minutes.”


----------




You re-enter the sitting room with a mug of steaming cocoa and hand it to Rainbow.

“Thanks Anon” she says, smiling.

“No problem, so how are you feeling?” you ask, concerned.

“My leg still kinda hurts but I'm feeling a little better, thanks for helping me earlier Anon.” she says, putting her drink down and embracing you in a hug, which you return.

“Well it's not like I was going to leave you there.”

After a while you try to end the hug but Rainbow holds you close. “It was nice when you were holding me.”

She backs away from the hug, blushing furiously. “I-I mean it was nice of you c-carry me...here.”

You both look at each other for a moment, Rainbow Dash seeing your confused expression, promptly tries to change the subject.

“A-anyway Anon, do you mind if I use your bath? Still feelin' sorta cold, you know.”

“Sure… I’ll go fill it up for you.” you say with a hint of suspicion in your voice, making your way towards the bathroom.

“What.Was.That?” you think to yourself, going over what just happened. “She sounded so nervous and she was blushing a lot. It was nice when I was holding her, what does that mean? It’s as if she has a...wait...no, me and Rainbow are just friends, that can’t be it.”

“Look Anon, just focus on the task in hand.” you tell yourself entering the bathroom and turning the taps.

As you wait for the bath to fill up you try and fail not to think about Rainbow. “But what if she does like me that way? What would I even do? you ask yourself. “Right, I need some way to find out if she does actually 'like' me.”

Coming up with a plan to confirm your suspicions(if you could even call it that), you shut off the taps and call Rainbow through. She arrives with a slight limp, her foreleg obviously still in pain from earlier.

“Thanks Anon. Aren't you...um... going to leave now?” she asks, seeing that you are still in the room.

“Of course not, I'm going to help clean you.” you respond, matter-of-factly.

Upon hearing your answer Rainbow’s cheeks turn beet-red and her wings spring up at her sides.

“N-no, it's fine, you don’t h-have to.” she says, her voice wavering, she is barely able to look at you.

“Oh, but I insist. I mean I wouldn't want you to exert yourself after your injury.” you say with a confidently.

“Okay.” she says, little more than a whisper. You hear her squeak as you pick her up and lay her into the bathtub.

Kneeling down next to the bath you begin to wash her back, rubbing up and down. She lies there with her eyes closed, a look of pleasure on her face. You eventually begin to rub the bases of Rainbow’s wings, causing then to unfurl again. She lets out a throaty moan, realising what she just did, her eyes shoot open and her hooves fly to her mouth.

“So Rainbow.” you say to get her attention as you start to clean the rest of her wings.

“Y-yes?” she replies, biting her lip to suppress another moan.

"Why do your wings keep going all stiff like that?"

“What?” Rainbow coughs. “I-I mean I don’t what y-you’re talking about”

“Oookay then…” you say holding back a laugh, “Another question, why have you been blushing so much around me?”

“I haven't been blushing!” she exclaims, blushing. “I just...um...n-nevermind.”

“C’mon Dashie, it’s fine, you can tell me anything.” you assure her, running your fingers through her silky rainbow mane.

Your eyes meet, you hadn't really noticed how beautiful hers were before, but now you can’t help staring into them.

“I-I-Imaybesortofhaveacrushonyou!” she almost shouts. She looks down and her ears turn back. “I-I'm so sorry, I've ruined everythi-”

Rainbow Dash stops talking when you place your hand under her chin, tilting her head up to look at you.

“I-I'm s-sorry Ano…” you cut her off again when your lips press softly against hers, at first she is surprised, but when she realises what is happening, she kisses back. The kiss lasts only a few moments and when you separate your lips from Rainbow’s the pegasus lets out a squee.

“Rainbow, I…” you say trying to catch your breath, you are soon stopped by Rainbow as she goes in for another kiss, this time however, it is a longer, more passionate one. Rainbow dash moans into your mouth as you begin to rub behind her ears. When the kiss ends you are both left there panting.

Rainbow is the first to speak. “That...was...awesome.” she says her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“Woah...I...think...I...maybe sort of have a crush on you to.” you say, barely able to speak.

Rainbow Dash squeals in delight and hugs you tightly, you hug back, not even bothered by the fact that her body is soaking your clothes.

The End

Author's Note:

Hey, I hope you all enjoyed the story.
Constructive criticism is welcome, so if you think I should have done something differently then be sure to tell me.
This is my first story on here, so thanks for taking the time to read it.
:)

Comments ( 24 )

Really didn't need the M rating. :unsuresweetie:

Short but sweet. A bit simple, but that's expected with the length.

That was a solid little story. Not bad for your first (at least on fimfiction).

Short, simple, and sweet. I think its pretty nice.

6790610

Otherwise, cute story. Have a like.

Not bad for a little shipping fluff. Just a few things to tweak.

It doesn't need the "M" rating. "T" would be fine. In something like this, unless there is sex, it doesn't need the mature rating.

Don't know if those break lines look differently in your word processor, but they don't need to cover the entire line. A few dashes, centered in the middle of the page, work fine.

I believe you missed a sentence here:

“So Rainbow.” you say to get her attention as you start to clean the rest of her wings.
“Y-yes?” she replies, biting her lip to suppress another moan.
[Sentence Missing?]
“What?” Rainbow coughs. “I-I mean I don’t what y-you’re talking about”
“Oookay then…” you say holding back a laugh, “Another question, why have you been blushing so much around me?”

Overall, not bad, fine shipfic.

Surprise, I'm an editor. However, I am going to be ruthless on this story.


“Alright then...you win Rainbow Dash.” you say

If you're going to not capitalize letters, at least add a comma after Rainbow Dash.

You seem to do it for a TON of other times, aswell.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

x2.

You don't need that, not to mention is looks god awful in the actual story. Use {hr} < regular brackets, though.


“What.Was.That?” you think to yourself, going over what just happened. “She sounded so nervous and she was blushing a lot. It was nice when I was holding her, what does that mean? It’s as if she has a...wait...no, me and Rainbow are just friends, that can’t be it.”

I improved the sentence structure.

What. Was. That, you think to yourself as you mull over what just happened. She sounded so nervous, and she was blushing a lot. 'It was nice when I was holding her', what does that mean? It's like she has a-... Wait, no. Me and Rainbow are just friends! That can't be it, can it?


As you wait for the bath to fill up you try and fail not to think about Rainbow. “But what if she does like me that way? What would I even do? you ask yourself. “Right, I need some way to find out if she does actually 'like' me.”

I improved the sentence structure.

As you wait for the bath to fill up, you attempt to keep Rainbow out of your mind, but you fail horribly. "But what if she does like me that way? What would I even do," you mumble to yourself. Something clicks in your mind. "Right, I need some way to find out if she does actually 'like' me," you mumble to yourself again.


she says, her voice wavering,she is barely able to look at you.

"she says, her voice wavering, she is barely able to look at you."
Spaces are needed here.


Rainbow is the first to speak. “That...was...awesome.” she says her tongue lolling out of her mouth.
“Woah...I...think...I...maybe sort of have a crush on you to.” you say, barely able to speak.

While triple periods may be good for expressing awkwardness, it's overused here. You may want to revise it.


You're welcome. It totally didn't take me an hour to write this whole goddamned thing. :)

This is nice. It's short,sweet and simple.

Good Job! :derpytongue2:

That was cute and well done.
The only criticism I have is its too short.

Comment posted by BroniesAreFags deleted Apr 3rd, 2016

6792650
Ruthless? :rainbowhuh:
Damn man. I wish more commenters were ruthless as you while trying to be.
That was more like kindness wrapped in a pretty pink bow, to point all that out as you did. :twilightsmile:
At least compared to how some others give their comments, or suggestive fix to a story on this site.
Soul sucking, wretchedly vile, is how even a few are on this site. Sad that...

If this is what you do, than you stay ruthless. You hear!? :raritywink:

6954680 Ahaha, thanks.

I've still got me editing skills as of late, I just haven't done it as much as I did anymore.

Though... Do you have a story that I could just rip apart and fix? :")

Hey, I'm glad to see you shortened up the spacings, however, it saddens me you kinda ignored the rest of the edits. :pinkiesad2:
I just hope you fix em, before I be 'ruthless' again ;)

Nice, short, and sweet.

too short nid more!!!!:flutterrage:
MOAR!!!!:flutterrage:
MOAR!!!!:flutterrage:
more pls....:fluttercry:
:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Kinda escalates a little too quickly but I loved it, great work! :raritywink:

Sequel?:trixieshiftright:

Aww, that was just too cute.

“Of course not, I'm going to help clean you.” you respond, matter-of-factly.

No, No bad touch, bad touch, stranger danger

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/707/426/1c3.gif

7137760
YAS I NEED

MORE!

:flutterrage:

That was adorable

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