• Member Since 5th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Oct 4th, 2018

Drawing Heart


T
Source

Twilight falls asleep to find herself solving a case. Fluttershy had gone missing years ago, apparently other ponies think she is dead but Twilight does'nt. Twilight explores a new restaurant called ," Discord's Hayburger Place" Discord opened not too long ago. But the Flutterchica animatronic looks very alive and Discord denies knowing any of Fluttershy's where abouts. The only way she'll be able to solve the mystery she must work as the security guard and survive FIVE NIGHTS. Only then will she wake up from this Night mare

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 10 )

The mare had a deep country accent, that if you didn't know her enough, you would've thought she wasn't a mare.

I don't understand this sentence. Are you implying that mares are somehow incapable of having country accents?

Comment posted by Drawing Heart deleted Apr 19th, 2016

7138710
oh im sorry if it wasnt clearly implied:twilightblush:
it was because applejack has such a deep voice she almost sounds like a boy

7138737 Really? I always thought her voice was of a slightly higher-than-average pitch for a female.
It's lower than the voices of some of the other characters, but it's certainly not mistakable for a male voice.

7139016
......im sorry..... i swear ill try to do better next time:fluttershbad:

7139261 Woah woah now, don't worry about it. No need to get upset. It's just something to remember for next time. :twilightsmile:

One suggestion I have for you is that you should try and find an editor to help you find and correct errors. There are some spelling mistakes in your writing, such as this one:

Twilight gasped and dropped the flier,

"Flier" should be "flyer".

There are many great groups on this site that are full of people willing to help. An editor is a very useful thing for any writer to have, and I highly recommend looking for one. If you're looking to improve your writing, then it's a fantastic place to start.

Comment posted by Drawing Heart deleted Apr 30th, 2016

7142654 Which device are you using to come here? I'm pretty sure you can join groups using whatever device you're accessing the site with.

7144823 hehe a phone. I can join groups it's just I really have limited reception and other complicated things.....but it is mostly in my head.:twilightsheepish: Thank u for the advice though I appreciate it. I will make sure to look into it

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