Examination of Truths
There are some universals, no matter what species you are, about waking up.
First, there’s the vital checklist. Are your lungs, gills, or phalanges working? Obviously your heart or central pump is, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to wake up. Most of the autonomic functions are briefly passed over in this stage, if only to check that they’re there. Ironically, this is the shortest part of the process, despite it being the most (as punsters say) vital.
Next comes the senses check. Can you feel? Yes. Can you hear? Yes. And so on. Traditionally Taste is skipped entirely, and sight only gets a brief check to make sure it’s there before shutting down again. This is most likely to prevent the rest of the mind from panicking just yet.
After this comes the first step that takes longer than an eighth of a second. This step is also often ignored by insects and the like, who run purely on instincts and don’t have time to bother making sure they have all their limbs. Why exactly this step takes longer than the previous, more important steps, is unknown; most likely, however, it is because the first two are only required to make sure the individual is functioning, while this one is more pertinent if the creature wishes to DO anything. After all, having a body, while not universally required, is often beneficial.
Then, and only then, does the mind unfurl itself, crawling up the various channels of logic it utilizes from the instinctual to the subconscious to the ego and then finally to full awareness. Depending on the signals sent from the first three stages, as well as how the ego and subconscious responds, this can range anywhere from half a second to a full two minutes. Some species have even managed to craft it into an artform, keeping from full consciousness for as long as they can and developing tools to assist in preventing wakefulness. In fact, Scootaloo’s idol had managed the exceedingly rare feat of being able to range anywhere on the wakefullness spectrum, choosing to either snap to alertness or lounge about for a full half hour as she saw fit.
Scootaloo herself only took .7622 of a second to wake up once the sun hit her. This fact was not unnoticed by her friends, but was quickly superseded by the loud screaming that burst from her throat.
***
“Scootaloo! Calm down, it’s all right!” Sweetie Belle moved forward, wrapping her hooves around the screaming filly. “We’re here!”
“----AAAAAAAOHCELESTIA OH CELESTIA IT WAS...” The pegasus blinked as she took in the world around her. The treehouse, familiar surroundings... Her breathing slowed down, just a bit. “It was... it was a nightmare, wasn’t it?”
Apple Bloom coughed, glancing up at her bow.
“...Wasn’t it?” Scootaloo looked from her to the unicorn hugging her tightly. “Guys, you’re... you’re scaring me--”
“Fer tha record, Ah didn’t know about Sweetie Belle neither. Not till last night.” Apple Bloom grinned uncomfortably. “And Ah’m pretty sure she didn’t know bout me... And those other ponies, well, they were outta tha blue.”
Scootaloo stared at her, wide eyed. Her mouth began to open and shut.
“Um... we’re still friends, right?” Sweetie Belle leaned back. “This, um, doesn’t change anything? Please don’t freak out.”
“....gnh?”
“She’s freaking out,” Apple Bloom deadpanned. “Great, and here Ah thought looking normal would keep her from--”
“I don’t think it’s you. It’s probably those... whatever they were chasing her. Let’s just give her space--”
“--today’s a school day, we can’t just leave her here--”
“Wh...wh...” The pegasus shook herself. “School day...?”
The unicorn let her go, giving her an odd look. “Yes. It’s thursday remember?”
“We’re still worried about school?”
“Um... Yeah?” Apple Bloom tilted her head. “What’s weird about that?”
Scootaloo stared at her.
The sheer mundane nature of the concern smashed through the wild night’s memories like a pellet that had somehow managed to make a sonic rainboom. For a moment, the filly had to pick up the pieces and reassemble them, before stepping back in her mind to view the whole situation. Then, as she noticed the stares, she tried to figure out what she was going to do next....
It was too much.
Scootaloo burst out laughing, far too high. It was too much. Too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much--
A yellow hoof slapped her. “GET AHOLD O’ YERSELF! Ah ain’t going to let one of my friends go crazy!”
“APPLE BLOOM!” Sweetie Belle grabbed the offending pony and pinned her to the ground. “What are you--you don’t just go around hitting ponies!”
“I... no.” Scootaloo rubbed her face. “I needed that... She’s, she’s good.” The pegasus waved vaguely. “But, I mean, wow....”
She paused.
“...Okay, stupid question, but--”
“No, yer not going to become a ghoul.” The earth pony rolled her eyes. “Zecora gave me mah potion fer the month. Oh, right, without tha potion tha curse spreads ta whoever I touch.”
“Oh, so Zecora knows about you?” Sweetie Belle released her friend, backing off.
“Eeeeyup. AJ and Fluttershy too.” Apple Bloom stood, shaking her head. “Fluttershy was the one who carried me home that night.”
“Wait wait wait, time out.” Scocotalo crossed her forehooves. “Fluttershy touched you? Is she a zombie?”
“Nah, Element Bearer. Curse couldn’t touch her, or at least that’s what Zecora thought.”
“...Huh.” Scootaloo turned to Sweetie Belle. “And, um, you’re a robot.”
“Mechanical life-form.”
“Right, sorry. How’d you find out?”
“Rarity accidentally dropped a bookshelf on my hoof.” Sweetie Belle cringed. “It hurt a lot, especially since my skin was torn off...”
“Oh wow. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--”
“It’s okay, we’ve gotten over that.” The unicorn waved a casual hoof. “And Pinkie, well, she came over with a bunch of cupcakes and patched me up. Apparently she’d known all the time...”
“Right, we’ve told ya our secrets, now ya’ll tell us yers.” Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a pointed look. “What the hay was with them ponies last night?”
“How should I know?! One minute I’m... well, sleeping, and then I’m in this sack!” The pegasus waved her hooves in the air. “I managed to break free and ran. For, you know, the police. I wasn’t scared!” she added hastily, “I just wanted the proper, you know, police ponies to...”
The other two were completely deadpan.
“...Okay, you know what? Fine. I was scared. I was terrified. But you can’t tell ANYPONY.”
“Fine by me,” Apple Bloom agreed.
“Already forgotten!” Sweetie Belle announced. “But how did they break into your home?”
Scootaloo held up a hoof.
Then she looked at the two of them. One was a robot. The other was a zombie. And they were both her friends.
With a sigh, she deflated. “Okay, um, can you keep a secret?”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave each other a look. Their answer was a simultaneous “Yes.”
“Oh, right. Well.... you see, um...” The pegasus rubbed the back of her head. “The thing is, well, I don’t, in the technical sense, actually.... I don’t have a home pleasedon’thateme.”
***
Silence is an interesting beast. It is not truly a lack of sound, but more a lack of communication. And even that is incorrect, as nonverbal communication fills the world of silence. Silence can descend on any individual or group without warning. Experts in the study of silence have concluded that its purpose is to allow those involved to process some new piece of information. They have also concluded that silence is boring to outsiders.
For this reason, the narrative shall be moved away from the three filles who were, currently, sharing secrets with each other, and instead focus on the purple unicorn who had just made what in retrospect would be considered the worst mistake ever. Namely, she has agreed to attend a Party. Not simply a party, but a Party Planned by the Pony Proletariat of Perpetual Positivity. It should be noted that this in and of itself is not a terrible decision, and in fact many ponies would agree to attend; however, because of this particular unicorn’s connections, she should really have stayed at home at that time.
Or at least have taken the dragon. His actions would become significant only after town hall exploded, but they also started at this time.
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Thanks for the new CMC story! Yay! It keeps getting better and better. MOAR!
...Now admit it:
You´ve read so much Pratchett that it´s seeping out in your text. Which is why I love reading it
Sweetie Bot, and Apple Gloom
awesome
...what? don't give me tha...
okay fine I won't tease you
Well, it can't be Scoota-protoalicorn.
I've got to run out of the house for a bit, but I'll read this once I get back. After all, with Sweetie Bot AND Appleblank confirmed in the cast, we're just one Scootaling (Changeling Scootaloo) away from this being the...
BEST
POSSIBLE
THING
EVER!!!
987569
I'm back. Read the whole thing. Just one orphaned changeling away from NONE of the CMC from EVER getting their Cutie Marks. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png
Why yes. This is awesome...
That moment when sweetie belle unfolded what to me looked like a pair of miniguns from the sides...
Altho I don't see any of the crusaders beeing prevented from getting a cutie mark eventually. Ghoul or robot...
It's magic!
This is certainly different. I'll be keeping a close eye on this.
967732 i wish. I believe we have Scoota-orphan, one of the more depressing Scoota's
1002421
As I posted earlier, I'm holding out hope for Orphaned Changeling Scootaloo, or Scootaling, for short. All the depression of Scoota-orphan, combined with the physiological horror of the "Tomato in the Mirror" trope.
991992
...that... That is actually a rather good point. My earlier point about NONE of the CMC getting Cutie Marks has now been rescinded. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png
More reason to hold out hope that Scootaloo will turn out to be a changeling: Balooga released a new CMC groupshot!
*Is in his happy place* dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png
...not sure what is up with Sootaling's arm in the third panel, though...
1060802 I'm with you! I really hope it turns out that Scootaloo is a changeling!
"First, there’s the vital checklist. Are your lungs, gills, or phalanges working?"
Adams and Pratchett would be proud.
“Traditionally Taste is skipped entirely, and sight only gets a brief check to make sure it’s there before shutting down again.”
Niggling detail. Either lowercase taste or capitalize Sight.
“His actions would become significant only after town hall exploded, but they also started at this time.”
I love these kinds of comedic foreshadowing.
This story is a keeper. Now I actually need to go through Tale of the Blanks.