Can't I Pick Which One?

by Kyle_67

Questionable Lust

I spot Owlicious on a branch of Twilight's library and soar over, enjoying how fun it is to fly as an actual bird. When I land, he looks my new form up and down.

"Another owl," he muses.

"Who?" I hoot.

Owlicious pauses. "I'm sorry?"

"Who?"

He gives me a blank stare. "Me. I am sorry. The owl in front of you."

"Who?" I ask again.

"You know," he sighs, "owls don't just say 'who', that's what speech sounds like to ponies."

"Who?"

"You're not a changeling, are you?" he queries.

"Who?"

"Changelings," he repeats. "They invaded Canterlot a few years back. Their queen even defeated Princess Celestia."

"Who?"

"How the hell do you not know who Celestia is?" He fumes. "She controls the damn sun! She rules the entire country with Princess Luna!"

"Who?"

"Piss off," he hoots as he flies away.

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I hop from my bed into my kitchen immediately after seeing my new form. After a bit of waiting, a knock sounds from outside.

"Hello?" I hear Fluttershy say. After a few heartbeats, the lock clicks and the yellow pegasus comes in to see me. She gasps in delight.

"Hi there little bunny!" She says while looking at me. "I didn't know that Dashie got a new pet. And an adorable one, at that."

I try my best not to feel weird having my adult friend call me adorable as Fluttershy puts Angel's cage on the table and the furry bastard himself tumbles out. Fluttershy turns to look at me.

"Bunny, you keep Angel company while I find your owner, okay?"

"Good luck!" I yell after her. I turn to Angel, only then realizing the brilliance of my plan. The perfect revenge. Sucking up my pride, I waddle to the sleeping rabbit and nudge him awake.

"Hm... Wha?" he mumbles.

I do my best not to crack as I put on my acting face. "Hey there handsome," I say, barely getting through the sentence without gagging. I mean, I do not find animals attractive, but Angel is going to have to believe my facade for this plan to work.

His eyes snap open. "Heeeeyy," he says, surprisingly seductively.

I try to maintain my composure. "What's a sexy fella like you doing at my place?"

"I came here for you, gorgeous," he whispers while grabbing my paw. Simultaneously, I throw up in my mouth a little bit, not to the notice of the swooned idiot in front of me. I can tell that this Angel thinks he would sin today.

"Stand up so I can marvel at your figure," I say, trying to appear naturally affectionate.

He hops up and smugly rubs his chest, clearly confident in his look. After pretending to examine him, I wince and give him a sorry look.

"Too bad," I apologize, "you're way to fat for my taste."

"Fat?" He echoes. His confidence visibly vanishes from his face. "You think I'm... fat?"

"Well, fat is being nice, darling." I say, silently snickering. "I'd say 'whale-like' suits you more, no?"

"P-Please," he whimpers, "you're the first female rabbit I've seen in a long time. Just give me a chance, please!"

I pad away in victory. "Sorry, dude." I hear silence from behind me. "But, plenty of fish, right?"

Suddenly, I'm grabbed by two paws and lifted off of my feet. I look up to see a smiling Angel with loving eyes.

"You didn't think I'd let you get away that easily, did you?" He leans in for a kiss and I am powerless to stop it. Fuck, why won't my body move away?! Wait, am I... blushing?

He gets ever closer to first contact as I find myself staring blankly at his kind eyes. No, dammit! Why am I focusing on his eyes, his chiseled face, and his gorgeous whiskers? Wait... shit! I'm attracted to ponies, not rabbits!

He connects with his lips as I'm blown away by the pleasure I feel. I close my eyes and give in, powerless to stop my rabbit body from feeling the exhilaration I do. I grab his neck with my paws and taste the delicious flavor of his lips. He pulls away and looks at me with those damn eyes that got me here in the first place.

"Aren't you glad you gave me second chance?" He whispers. I nod and, without knowing I'd do it, lean in for a second kiss. Instantly I'm rewarded by the same euphoric feeling. Taken by surprise, he nonetheless accepts my offer to kiss and falls on me as I'm caught in a whirlwind of pleasure.

Some revenge this turned out to be.

Suddenly, I realize that pulling pranks doesn't have to be the only thing I do with my gift. But, no! I'm a pony! Not an animal! But then, am I even a pony anymore?

My senses fade away, leaving behind a rabbit that I have much different feelings for now.

For better or for worse.

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Finally! My destination comes into view. After an adventure in the sewers and a particularly helpful stray cat, I arrive where my mission will begin: Sugarcube Corner. As my reptilian eyes focus on the 'Open' sign on the front door, I plan my entry. I have to be very careful, making sure not to be spotted by anyone. The front door is too obvious... I should probably go through the vents, but I'm sure I can manage my way up the gutter, as well. Anything not to be seen by--

"Hello little Ms. Alligator!"

Pinkie Pie! My fears are confirmed as the pink mare squats down to look at me. Dammit, I didn't want to have to deal with her. I see the way she obsesses over Gummy, I don't want to be treated the same.

"Back off, Pinkie," I growl. "I have teeth, you know!"

Pinkie Pie just giggles. Oh great. Here comes her trademarked Pinkie babble. "You must be new in Ponyville! I haven't seen you before! I know everypony, but every animal too. There are 245 birds, 120 squirrels, and 37 snakes in Ponyville, but only 5 alligators! They're Louis, Vector, Allie, Bratty, and Gummy!" She pauses to gasp in revelation. "Hey, you should meet Gummy! You two would have so much fun together!"

I ponder this for a second. I was going to scare anyone inside the dining area, but meeting Gummy could be cool too. Pinkie Pie somehow takes my thoughtful silence as an answer and ecstatically lifts me away to Sugarcube corner. Through the front door and up the stairs puts us in front of the door to Pinkie's room, hilariously adorned with stickers, glitter, and a large sign where Pinkie scribed "STAY OUT" in pink crayon.

She sets me down inside where I see a dozing Gummy across the room. "Okay you two, play nice!" She says, unknowingly speaking to her 22 year old friend, before leaving us alone. I waddle over to Gummy and see that while he is sleeping, his eyes are open and is standing on all four feet, not moving. I wave a foot in front of his face and he barely stirs. Weird.

"Hello!" I exclaim, getting a few blinks from him. Finally he snaps awake and looks at me.

"Hello, dear. What's troubling you today?" He asks. I blink in confusion. Okay, first, that is not how he sounded in my mind. The voice that he has is so proper, I could swear I'm talking to a 40 year old college professor. Second, what's troubling me?

"Nothing," I say slowly, "why would there be?" Is Gummy a damn psychologist or something?

"I can tell there's something wrong," he tells me. "How's your relationship with your parents?"

I stand still for a beat before sighing. "Well..." I begin.

-----------oOo-----------

"They just wanted me out of the house then and there," I say, eyes watering.

"I think you need to go back to them and tell them what you've told me," Gummy advises. I snivel and nod. I get up from lying down and give him an alligator hug.

"I will. Thank you Gummy." I say affectionately.

He gives me a pleased look. "Anything to help my fellow reptiles." I release him and wipe my eyes. He gives me a slip of paper. "That'll be 89 bits."

"...What?"

Author's Note:

Give any suggestions for future TFs in the comments along with corrections.

Comments

[Grey Goat Gal]

She annoyed Owlicious, had some fun with Angel, and had a therapy visit with Gummy... Good lord...

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

I'm actually rather enjoying this. It's a bunch of silly stuff that is also giving a bit of a look into Dash's character as well, with how she is trying to take advantage of the situation only to find herself swept along it from the surprises.

[Level Dasher]

I'm glad I clicked on this one.
Let's see, ideas...
What about having her turn into a turtle so she can talk with Tank? Get an inside scoop on how he feels about her?

[Gizmo Gear]

Oh man!! This is good!! What about a griphon? Or a draconeques?(however its spelled)

[OmnipresentMicroorganism]

Gummy the therapist.

...Why does that make so much sense?

[Tephera]

In short: i.memeful.com/media/post/PM0nrdL_700w_0.jpg

Especially during Angles scene. JFC that got me on the floor begging for mercy.

[Kyle_67]

7538175 Well, this is First Person present tense, meaning I want the reader to fully understand every specific emotion. RD is the one telling the story, so the more I can nail down her exact emotion into specificity, the more the reader connects with her.
Here's an example.

Say I have RD slump over after, say losing a race. This is too broad in the first person, because I can only describe RD's actions through one lens: her's. Slumped over could indicate both defeat and sadness, two slightly different things with an important difference when in the realm of first person. In third person, I could describe what the scene looks like from an outside perspective, but I only have the emotions of RD to communicate the tone. It is better to say that she slumped over in defeat, as that nails down the feeling.

First person, present tense is tricky to write in but is the best for a story built on surprises, where the reader is finding out about things at the same time as the main character. As much as I would love to set the tone of a room or describe RD in terms of her actions, its hard to do when A.) I can only tell story through RD's perspective and B.) the story is happening as the reader is reading the story. I could absolutely do better, you are right, and I wholeheartedly appreciate your honest criticism.

[Firebrace101]

I hope you continue writing, it is amazing. My reaction at the end of each dream is just laughter! I do have one suggestion for a transformation dream, Phoenix.

[Sensible Clutter]

gryphon, phoenix, mouse, squirrel, snake

[Therainbowcaterpillar]

I can't , I just can't

[ferret]

Wait, am I... blushing?

rabbits.

[Eclipsedarksoul]

Love this but just one possible plot hole can't fluttershy speak to animals
How about a mantacore

[Kyle_67]

Y'know, waking up with 20 notifications has been my dream as a writer for a long time. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for enjoying the story as much as you have.

[PonyThunder]

7539561

It's the best feeling isn't it?

[Spiral_Donut]

This Story is really Goooood!
7539561 You Deserve them! In a good way...

[Kyle_67]

7539813 Holy shit, this was featured? When?

[HB_DS2013]

7539375 Found an Undertale reference.

[Solemn Vigil]

7539375
I believe Louis is a reference to the gator from The Princess and the Frog.

The only thing I can think of for Allie is the Ty beanie baby.

[Zubric]

Swell that certainly s intesting twist on animal tfs. Lol I guess you can make funny voice from slogs of life canon

[Phantomeneer]

I love this fanfic. It gives insight into Dash's character while being hilariously stupid.

Top notch.

[Aether Spark]

7539561
Ditto