Fight! The Sword of Canterlot vs The Dragon Sorceress!
In this chapter there’s a part that changes to 3rd pov, it’ll be labled
Two bookshelves flanked both sides of me as I walked between them as a number of books floated around me. I smiled happily as I had one of the books floated in front of me as I hummed along. As I read the last page I magically teleported the book back as I continue walking.
I turned the corner after corner in the library like a maze with all I see is rows and rows of books. The shelves around go straight up into the ceiling I believe, from where I'm standing it seems endless. Sections of the shelves split off and float somewhere else as another section floats over and replaces the spot, making it almost impossible to organize the maze.
Or was the maze trying to organize it all and second-guessing itself? It both made smile and twitch at the sorta chaotic nature this place is in. I continue walking as I saw the number of books flying around, getting put into new spots in bookshelves and pulled out of said shelf, almost hitting a mare on it says, and sorting it- wait, what mare?
I stopped and looked back to a small circular room with a large number of large pillows of different colours and patterns, they remind me of the books about cities out in the deserts. The mare in question was light gray with a white and purple striped mane. Her cutie mark is simply three purple stars. She looked around at the bookshelves and- oh who am I kidding, I'm not wondering what is she doing here in my dream!?
I shook my head as the feeling of wanting to be with her gripped my heart. I frowned at this, I don't even know this mare, but I should, but I never saw this mare before… or have I?
I groaned as this was hurting my head, making some books fall off of the shelf near me.
“Hello? Is anypony here?!” the mare called out, even her voice makes me ache. Seriously, never met her, at all. I snorted out some purple smoke as I walked into the sitting room. “Oh, hello, do you-”
“What are you doing in my dream?” I said rudely and bluntly. I don't know about anyone else but invading in one's dream is maybe a crime… maybe, have to ask Princess Luna that.
“Excuse me?” the mare said, blinking in surprise.
“You hear me, you're in my dream and I'm asking you why also how you got in my dream in the first place.” I told/asked her. She frowned at me.
“What makes you think this is your dream? What if it's my dream and you're in it!” she shot back.
“Impossible,” I said, holding my head up high. “I know every being that I come up with in my dream to the letter. I also don't forget and I don't remember making an old mare in my dream.”
“Old?! I'm not old!” the mare snapped at me. After what happened at the table with the princess and the newlyweds I stop had some steam in me.
“Oh please, you have white in your mane.” I said, waving a claw at her.
“This is my normal mane colour!” the mare retorted. The two if us glared at each other before a question came to mind.
“Look, we can yell at each other all we want but it's pointless, so right now-”
“Oh, you said it's pointless, yet you started it.” the mare said. My eye twitched a few times as I took some breaths.
“Again, pointless. How about you tell me your name old timer.” I told her. She frowned at me as she opened her muzzle to answer. As she did the place started to shake.
“What's going on!?” she said in shock. I looked around and saw the place turning to dust around us as the distance began to grow between up.
“I'm waking up#” I turned her with wide eyes. “We don't have a lot of time! What's your name you old bat?!”
“I told you, I'm not-” that was the last thing I heard before everything around us disappeared and I began to fall.
I opened my eyes to see the warm sun through the window, bathing the room in its warm glow. This didn't stop from me groaning.
“I still don't know her name!” I yelled into a pillow. I rubbed my head a bit before getting out of the nest I made to sleep in. I stretched a bit, hearing some pops coming from my joints I went into the bathroom to make myself look presentable. After a while I was done and stepped out of my room to see a mare there.
“Morning!” she greeted happily.
“Morning,” I greeted back. I saw a cart of cleaning supplies beside her. “You’re here to clean up?”
“Yes, during your stay here we make sure you’re comfortable at all times.” The mare said happily. I simply stared at her.
“You know that this is Canterlot castle right?” I asked her, wondering why she saying that this was some hotel.
“Oh! Right… sorry, old habits from an old job.” the mare said with a blush. I gave her a smile.
“It’s fine, I know a thing or two about old habits.” I told her. She smiled at me and headed into my room as I headed out.
“Oh sweet Celestia!” I heard her yell. I chuckled at this before continuing on. I went to Amber's room to see how’s she doing, only to find Tessith standing out front of her door.
“Dragoon Tessith, is there something wrong?” I asked her.
“No Archmage, just making sure no one goes into the Princess’ room as she’s…” Tessith paused for a moment to say the next word. “...racing.”
“Racing? Racing who?” I asked her.
“That one pegasus from yesterday, the one with the Rainbow mane.” Tessith explained. Oh yeah, the brash pony from yesterday.
“Kinda seeing a mirror version of her as a pony,” I said with a smirk. Tessith shrugged.
“I can see the similarities, but there are some differences.” she explained. I chuckled at her.
“Well, if you see her tell her that I need to talk to her.” I asked.
“Alright Archmage, what about?” she asked. I took a moment to think back to my dream earlier.
“Something personal.” I told her. Tessith nodded.
“Well then, what will you be doing Archmage?” she asked. I thought for a moment for what I could do.
“I think I’m going to spread my wings for a bit,” I said as I began to head out. “Alone Tessith.”
“Of course Archmage, and are we going with first names now?” Tessith asked me.
“That’s up to you,” I replied back.
“I’ll stay with Archmage.” Tessith said. I shrugged and headed outside. Once there I spread my wings and started to fly across Canterlot. My wings spread out fully as I flapped a few times and glided in the air, the feeling of it brought a smile to my face as I shifted to the side so I could turn. I figured the sight of me flying around isn’t that special since there’s pegasi flying around as well. Sure maybe the sight of a pony with dragon wings would be odd.
As I flew around I noticed two blurs going around the city, a rainbow streak and a familiar dark amber along with it. I shook my head as I saw this. ‘Amber must be racing with that Rainbow mare from before, doesn’t she know that we’re trying to make a peace treaty with them… though I can’t really stop her for being herself can I. Hmm?’ I glanced down to see a small grouping of ponies watching this. Interested, I turned my way towards them and glide over there. As I got close I saw it was Sunsets friends and Derolth there.
“Howdy there Twilight!” Applejack greeted as she saw and greeted me.
“Hello Applejack, everyone, Dragoon Derolth,” I greeted them.
“Archmage,” Derolth greeted. “Here to watch your friend race?”
“Just stretching my wings,” I told him before feeling something touching my wing. “Ahh!”
“Oh, sorry darling,” Rarity said as her magic was making my wing move. “I just taking a closer look at your lovely wings!”
“Rares, you know that’s really rude!” Applejack scolded her.
“Uhh… just, ask next time,” I told her as I looked up to the two racing. “How long were they at it?”
“All morning and still going,” Derolth informed me. I nodded with a sigh.
“And they are going to keep at it I bet,” I said as I looked at the rest of them, seeing the shy one looking at me funny. “Yes?”
“Oh!... Uhh, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” the mare said. I smiled gently at her.
“It’s fine, kinda used to it,” Well, no not really. “You look like you wanted to ask me a question.”
“Oh Ummm… kinda… if you don’t mind me asking you, ahh… a question?” she asked me.
“Uhh, sure… you also don’t have to be so shy around me.” I told her. The mare stared at me as she still hid behind Shadow. I sighed and motioned her to ask her question.
“Oh right… well… you said you’re half dragon… were you born like this?” she asked, still hiding. Ah, this question again. After a few days being here I thought about it and came up on a theory.
“Not exactly, I was born as a normal unicorn like your fashion friend over here,” I nodded to the white unicorn.
“Fashion friend?” she said in her posh tone.
“Yeah, you have that look about you of anyone into fashion.” I told her. She… took it quite well as she simply smiled at this. “Anyway, I was born a unicorn but was raised by dragons. The physical changes to me can be a number of things for why; I was raised like a dragon so I took on more draconic traits, some kind of ancient dragon magic-”
“Wait, dragons have magic?” Pinkie asked, looking at Derolth. He simply shrugs.
“Sorta, it’s like your cutie marks, we dragons… the nonwild ones, have talents only their race can have.” he explains.
“Wait, what ya mean ‘by their race can have’? Aren’t dragons the same race?” Applejack asked.
“That depends, don’t you ponies call Earth ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasi ponies?” Derolth asked. Applejack frowned at this.
“What Dragoon Derolth is talking about is that, yes dragons are dragons, but there’s… subraces of Dragons. For example Dragoon Derolth is a Fire dragon while Dragoon Tessith is a Sky dragon, they are Dragons sure but not really the same kind,” I explained. Some of them looked at me and nodded.
“Soooooo… what can you do???” the pink mare ask Derolth… while hopping on her tail. My eye twitched at this.
“Eh, just some fire control, really it’s not the special since most of my kind can do something like that.” he explained.
“Oooo~, what does Tess do?” the mare asked.
“I think something to do with wind, I never really asked… or listen for the matter.” he said with a grin. I shook head at him.
“That’s lovely and all, but yesterday you called Spikie an Earth Dragon.” Rarity asked. I nodded.
“Yes, as the name implies Earth Dragons have a connection to the very ground. Their abilities range from controlling the ground, make plants grow, or be something like my uncle.” I said.
“And what’s that?” Shadow asked. I opened my mouth but Derolth answered it before me.
“Become a literal battering ram.” the other looked at him for a moment before at me.
“That… kinda sums it up for you.” I said. As I said that both Rainbow and Amber landed on the ground, panting.
“I...won… that… eighteen to… twenty…” Amber panted.
“Yeah… but I… won… yesterday…” Rainbow said back. The two looked at each other before grinning… then falling over onto the ground.
“Like two peas in a pod.” Applejack commented. The rest of us laughed at this. “Say Shadow? Don’t ya need to get going back to work?”
“I still have a bit, besides there’s a whole bunch of guards around keeping watch.” he said and for a moment I saw something was up, he seems to be holding something back.
“Yes well, you have to keep your reputation for The Sword of Canterlot.” Rarity said.
“The Sword of Canterlot?” I asked, looking at her.
“Yeah!” Pinkie said, appearing behind me. “While Shining Armor the Shield of Canterlot, Shadow is the Sword!”
“Yes, that’s me,” Shadow started with a chuckle.
“Well, that’s nice to hear.” I commented. Just then Pinkie started to hop up and down excitedly, which made me nervous.
“Oh, oh! You and Derolth should have a Duel!” she said with a grin. Everyone stared at her oddly.
“Me and… him?” Shadow asked, looking at the Dragoon.
“As much as I want to, I’m here to make sure Princess Amber is safe,” Derolth explained.
“Twilight can take his place,” a voice said. I turned and saw Amber looking at me with a smile. “I think she’s more than a match for you Shadow.”
“Amber! I’m not doing going to fight Shadow!” I retorted at her.
“Why not? You used to challenge the guards under your uncles command.” Amber said.
“I was ten!”
“I also have to agree with the Archmage on this,” Shadow chimed in. I smiled at him, at least he’s on agreement on this. “I don’t want to hurt her or anything.” Yeah- wait what?
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, looking at the stallion with a frown.
“Uhh, well nothing, nothing at all Archmage, I just-” I cut him off before he could continue.
“You think I’m some drake that sits in a library or a lab reading all the time?!” I accused him.
“Uhhh…” was all he said before I shorted out purple smoke.
“It’s on Shadow.”
3rd PoV
Twilight turned and went to look for a good spot to have the duel, leaving the group and a shocked Shadow.
“What did I say?” Shadow asked as Princess Amber was laughing, Derolth was some what chuckling.
“Oh this is great!” Amber laughed. “Reminds me when we were younger.”
“Ya have a really weird friendship there Amber,” Applejack commented with a frown.
“Oh it’s not so bad, Twi is an egghead but even as a foal she still has a tempter.” Amber commented before taking flight to follow her friend.
“I still don’t know why she got so angry?” Rarity said.
“Well…” Derolth spoke up at this. “Ever since she was young the Dragon council was always hard for being… different, than the other dragons. She doesn’t like being put down and assumed she’s is something.”
“Oh… I have to go through with this, don’t I?’ Shadow asked the Dragoon.
“Yup, she’ll hold this to you if you don’t.” Derolth nodded. Shadow sighed before he and the group follow Amber. They soon found her and Twilight waited in a large clearing that was spacious.
“Is this good?!” Twilight asked Shadow as he went to face her on the other side of the clearing.
“Yeah, good pick too,” he called. “This is one of the few training zones the army has for new recruits.”
“Right, well ready when you are!” Twilight yelled as she got ready. The group went over to Amber to watch this.
“Go Shadow! Go Twilight!” Pinkie yelled, now sporting some face paint and some flags with both their names on them.
“Well, no point to wait,” Shadow muttered as he fired a few stun bolts at her. Twilight raised a wing up to block and fired her own bolts at him, making him move. ‘Huh, seems that she can used her wings as a defence.’ he thought as he started to shoot some more. Twilight moved out of the way of the shots, flapping her wings to jump and turn in the air.
“Wow, she’s good.” Rainbow said as she watched this. Amber chuckled as there was now a crowd forming to watch. Twilight turned and shot some beams, making Shadow move and make a weak shield to block.
“What’s wrong Sergeant?! What that all talk before!” Twilight taunted him. Shadow raised a brow before shooting a few bolts in the air. Twilight frowned at this, completely missing her as Shadow shot a beam at the bolts, making it bounce off them before it hits Twilight in the head.
“Ooooo, that had to hurt,” Amber said with a wince. Twilight blinked at this before looking at Shadow with a smirk. She charged her horn as her claws glowed before slamming them on the ground, making the ground shake and large rocks started to float up. Shadow stumbled around as the ground shook as the rocks flew towards him. Using his own magic, he flash teleported around to dodge the rocks. As he did he fired some more beams off at the Kirin.
As this was going on Derolth noticed some of the guards were watching. That feeling he had before acted up as he looked at them, some of them looked normal but some… there was something about them, something off. Their eyes didn’t seem real, almost glass like.
Back to the duel Shadow and Twilight were battling it out, firing some spells out. Where Shadow used ice magic, Twilight uses fire, while she use lightning, Shadow used earth. The two went back and forth as some of the crowed cheered, why the rest just scoff at this.
“He Archmage! You wondered why I’m called the Sword?!” Shadow called out. Twilight looked over at him and watched as he lit his horn up, making eight ethereal swords appear. As they floated there Shadow moved his head and commanded the swords to go after the Kirin.
“Oh boy, Shadow there is serious.” Applejack said as Twilight used some large rock to block the swords, only to see them pass through. She jumped back and saw two of them lodged themselves into the ground in front of her as the other six followed her.
“This is…” Twilight started to say as she flapped her wings.
“Ethereal magic!” Shadow yelled as he moved the swords towards Twilight. “Didn’t think a simple unicorn can do such high-level magic did ya!”
Twilight simply moved out of the way before one of the swords came too close. The crowd and Shadow watched Twilight fall to the ground. The group gasped at this.
“I-is she alright?” Fluttershy asked.
“Oh my, I think this went too far!” Rarity said as the mares started to move.
“Hold on,” Amber said as Shadow went a little closer to see what’s up, his swords floating in midair.
“What ya mean hold on?!” Applejack said.
“Yeah, she could be hurt!” Rainbow followed up.
“In the Dragon Empire, life is hard and rough,” Amber said. As she said that Twilight started to move with her wings covering her head. “For Twi, it was harder… but she pushed through. And besides, she’s the Archmage, she can handle it.”
As Amber finished the wings unfurled and showed Twilight holding the ethereal sword in her mouth. Her eyes glowed purple as she snapped the sword in her mouth. “My turn.”
Shadow took a few steps back as Twilight took a deep breath before letting loose a torrent of purple flames. Shadow jumped back as the flames roared in front of him. Bring the other seven swords close as Twilight burst out of the flames with flaming claws at Shadow. He panicked and brought five of them to block Twilight, only for her to slash at them with her flaming claws and knocking Shadow down and holding him there with a claw at his throat.
“Ethereal flaming claws.” she commented as her wings flared out as the other two swords pointed at her.
“I think… it’s a draw…” Shadow panted. As the fire died down Twilight slowly nodded.
“Yeah… good duel.”
I slowly got off of Shadow as my spell faded. The flames died down as I saw the crowd around us.
“Huh… didn’t think there would be a crowd.” I said. Shadow shrugged at this.
“Guess we were too into it…” he then looked at me for a moment. “Hey… sorry for making you made mad for what I said, it was totally wasn’t intentional.”
“It’s fine… I have a feeling that Amber would word it to me so get me riled up.” I told him. Shadow stared at me for a moment.
“How are you two still friends?” he asked. I shrugged.
“It’s… complicated…” I sighed as I looked out into the crowd. I then notice a mare I saw in my dream. Light gray fur, white and purple stripe man, and she staring right at me. “Wait-”
“Archmage Scintillula!” A loud voice called out. I jumped a bit before seeing a group of guards coming towards me. “You need to come with us, Princess Celestia wanted to see you.”
“Right now?” I asked, looking back to the crowd to find that mare.
“Yes, right now.” the guard said. I looked at him and back at the crowd. I didn’t see her anywhere. I grumbled a bit.
“Alright, lead the way.” I said. I looked at the rest and gave them a wave before seeing Amber. “Wait, doesn’t Princess Amber need to come?”
“No, just you. The Princess told us to get you.” The guard informed me. I looked at the guard for a moment before following them to the palace
After sometime walking we came upon the palace. They then led me to the throne room where I saw Princess Celestia looking out of the window. I walked in there and gave a bow. “Princess Celestia, you asked for me?”
“Yes Archmage,” she said in a different tone from before. She wasn’t smiling at well. “I was informed that something… happened yesterday with you and Mi Amore Cadenza.”
“Well… yes, your highness, there was a bit of an… argument between us.” I told her. The Princess frowned even more than before. “You were there when this all happen.”
“I was, but if you had noticed then I was a bit busy talking to my subjects.” She said. I thought back to yesterday and remembered her talking to a few guards then. “Archmage, I have to say that the way you handled that wasn’t ideal here.”
Ideal? Cadenza was insulting Derolth and the Dragon race and she’s saying I should've simply brush that aside?! I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Your highness, with all due respect, what happened yesterday was, sure not ideal at the moment, but you must of understand that I can’t simply sit back and allow her to talk to Dragoon Derolth that way.”
“Archmage, you must also understand that the dragons here are more...selfish than the ones in the Empire-”
“Wait, are you comparing wild dragons to the Dragon Empire? Like they are the same thing!” I snapped. Some part of my knew this was wrong, that I needed to stop but… my temper got the better of me.
“Archmage-”
“No, you listen Celestia,” I cut her off. “What she did, what Cadenza said, was disrespectful to me, to the Dragon race, and really I wasn’t going to stand for it. We aren’t citizens to Equestria, we don’t have the same peace as you all have!”
“Archmage, you need to calm down,” Celestia said, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know much of your customs in the Dragon Empire but you must know that we are also not there as well.” She walked away from me in silence. “I was also informed had a duel with Shadow Sparkle. I have to say that was also not ideal since everypony are on edge at the moment-”
“Then get your head out of the clouds and do something!” I snapped. Ahh heck, I did it now.
“Excuse me?!” Celestia said, looking at me in shock.
“You have a giant dome around the city and a large number of guards around, but all you have been doing is focused on the wedding! If I was in charge I would have canceled the wedding until this threat is dealt with.” I marched over to her and glared. “You can’t be this soft Celestia.”
Celestia was stun at this, unable to say anything as the doors open. I turned to see Shining Armor, looking more worse for wear, and her. “What’s going on here?” Cadenza asked.
“Oh, nothing just was talking to Princess Celestia about what happened yesterday at the table.” I informed, feeling the flames at the back of my throat.
“Yes, I told her that you were being disrespectful to me.” Cadenza said. Oh this is rich coming from her.
“Oh, I was disrespectful to you? You mean the same way you were to me? To dragons?” I snapped back. She recoiled at this.
“Y-You can’t talk to me like that!” she then frowned at me. “I guess we can all see that you’re more dragon than pony.” I growled at her, digging my talons into the floor. Shining took a few steps in front of her which made me laugh.
“Oh how sweet, your knight in shining armor is here to protect you from the evil dragon! My, how this feels like a story for fillies and colts, only that the knight cries everytime he sees me!” I growled at them. I took a deep breath and breathed out fire through my nose, making them back off. I headed to the doors. “Have fun at your wedding you two, you both seem perfect together, which is completely pathetic.”
After that, I marched out of the throne room and towards my room.
later
“Twilight? Are you there?” I heard Luna said as I was under a mountain of covers and pillows.
“Go… away…” I groaned. After leaving the throne room I went to my room to calm down and… well, panicked. I was talking back and being rude to not only the two soon to be a married couple, but to Princess Celestia! This is my fault! I’m going to be the reason that there’s no peace between the Dragon Empire and Equestria! I was now waiting for Amber and the Dragoons to come and say that we were leaving.
“I heard what happened in the throne room and… well, it’s not surprising.” I heard her say. I blinked at this and pushed my head up through the covers.
“What are you talking about? I yelled at your sister, the Leader of all of Equestria, and you’re saying that it’s fine!?!” I said to her.
“Well, we were told by your friend and both Dragoons that you have a bit of an… explosive temper. Sure Sister was angry at you but I had a talk to her and… well we came to an agreement that the Peace treaty will happen after the wedding and the issue blows over.” Luna said with a smile. I couldn’t help but smile back as she floated over some mugs.
“What this?” I asked as I saw a dark brown liquid in the mug that she was floated over to me.
“Oh it’s something I just found out a little while ago, something called Hot Coco, it’s very good!” she took a sip of it before making a face. “After it cools down though.”
I laughed a little. I looked down at my mug and thought about it, Princess Celestia wasn’t all that mad at me, she’s very forgiving… maybe this could work out in the end… hmm.
“Say, Luna, can I ask you something?” I asked her. “Your sister, she’s really friendly to everyone, was she alway like this?”
“Not really, when we were both around together we were at war with other races, including dragons.” Luna said looking out of the window. “Back then she wasn’t so kind… I guess after I… left, and the peace in the land she simply lost her edge.”
“And you didn’t?” I asked. She gave me a small smile.
“You could say that, I been away for a long time and that mindset never really left…” she told me. I hummed in thought about this.
“Say… what do you think about this issue that has everypony on edge?” I asked her. She frowned at this as she put the mug down and looked out of the window.
“I will say that what everypony is thinking has already passed, the danger is already here in the capital.” she answered. “And the Alicorn of Love is the spearhead of this threat.”
Wait, Princess Luna suspects Cadenza to be behind this? That… would make sense, I had a feeling there was something off about her, and there were some signs of this. “How can you be so sure, Princess?”
“Because a year ago I met her before, she was so full of life and happy and being what the young say, a love-struck teen,” Luna explains. I couldn't help but snicker at her for saying that with a straight face. “Is there something wrong?”
“Nothing nothing, sorry,” I answered with a smile. She looked at me oddly before continuing.
“That was a year ago and over that year I only met her three times, the last two I had a feeling I was meeting a completely different pony. Who or what I was talking to wasn't Mi Amore Cadenza but a fake.” Luna finished.
“You think so?” I asked before looking out the same window as her. “I think there's more than her, some of the guards as well.”
“I believe so too, some of the patrols I saw look fine but there are the little things that are different, the way they move, how they follow in sync with each other than the other guards…” Luna listed off.
“Yeah… so what do you think we should do?” I asked Luna.
“I believe we should wait and watched what happens next, I suspect that you and Princess Amber coming here has put a damper on the threats plans.” Luna explained. I nodded before something clicked in my head. Was she trying to get me angry enough to get kicked out of the wedding? Was I a threat to her plans?
“I'm not able to go to the wedding with my outburst from before, but I could use to my advantage,” I commented.
“I have complete faith in you Twilight, you sound like you have a plan in mind,” Luna commented. I blushed at this before remembering something.
“Princess Luna, I have a question about a dream I had,” I said. This drew the attention of her.
“Ask away Archmage Twilight, not only I'm the Princess of the Night I'm also the Warden of Dreams,” she said with pride in her voice. Reminds me of another ancient dragon of old.
“Yes well, last night I was dreaming normally until I met a mare that I’ve never seen before but… I should know her. I then saw her again earlier today… am I going crazy?” I asked her. Luna chuckled at this.
“No Twilight, you're not going crazy,” she started. “But this could lead to two things, one is your mind just simply made her up without you knowing it and you saw a mare that looks very much like her.”
“Or…” I said, trying to push this along.
“Or your dreams are trying to tell you something,” Luna continued. “Twilight dreams are influenced by our body and soul, using our dreams to tell us something we missed or something important. Now tell me, what does she look like?”
Instead of telling her I used my magic to make an image of the mare. Luna stared at the image for a long minute before chuckling. “My, this is interesting.”
“What? Do you know her?” I asked, now eager to know more.
“I have not met her face to face but I have heard of her, she’s an editor of a serials of books and the mother of Captain Shining-” she stopped herself before looking at me and then at the image. I stared at her then look at the image, am I missing something?
“What? What do you know?” I asked her.
“I know a few things, but for now I'm going to let you figure this out on your own.” she said as she headed out to the balcony.
“Wait! What you mean by that?!” I asked her, quickly followed her. “Can you tell me something?”
“Velvet,” she answered. “Her name is Velvet.” with that she spread her wings and flew off. I watched her do this with more questions than answers. I ran through my options as I turned back into my room before stopping. I frowned as this was now too big to ignore. Velvet knows something, something about me and I can't leave it alone.
With a deep breath, I turned to the balcony and walked out on it. Closing the door I spread my wings and flew off. I knew where I was going, I didn't know how or why I simply knew.
You know something Velvet, and I'm not going to rest until I find out.
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This happily came out of nowhere!
should be have
not sure but grammer is not quite right
8568816
That should have been will
4 chapters on thanksgiving!? The pumpkin pie can wait! Great job on the duel scene!
I forgot to note down all of the typos I observed, but here's the one that stuck with me:
First, the typo. "goals" should be "foals"
Second, the grammar mistake. "filly" pluralizes as "fillies".
Third, writing "foals and fillies" is like writing "children and girls". Either use "foals" or use "colts and fillies". (And, given that this is Equestria, a setting that, for all recent history, has been led by a mare with the outward characteristics typically associated with being at least partially divine (size, supernatural longevity, uniquely powerful), it wouldn't surprise me if it's normal to put the female first in "X and Y" phrases, making it "fillies and colts" rather than "colts and fillies".)
8568883
Ahhh, didn’t know that. Thanks!
I can't help but think she's talking about the chronicler from spyro.
Holy moley. Talk about a MAJOR update. It's rather easy to see that you HAVE been working hard in the time since your last update. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked the duel between Twilight and Shadow as well as Twi's chat with Luna. Well, on to the next chapter.
I'm just waiting for Tessith to uppercut someone and exclaim "Shoryuuken!"
To unleash my One Minute Melee fan-ism, "Go for broke! FIGHT!!!"
Twilight Velvet, by any chance?
Good chapter, too many mistakes to list here, both grammar and spelling.
It both made smile and twitch at the
getting put into new spots in bookshelves and pulled out of said shelf, almost hitting a mare on it says
After what happened at the table with the princess and the newlyweds I stop had some steam in me
“I'm waking up#” I turned her with wide eyes
As I got close I saw it was Sunsets friends and Derolth there
What’s wrong Sergeant?! What that all talk before!
The two went back and forth as some of the crowed cheered, why the rest just scoff at this
Bring the other seven swords close as Twilight burst out
Some part of my knew this was wrong
I was also informed had a duel with Shadow Sparkle
Celestia was stun at this
something called Hot Coco
but I could use to my advantage
Twilight dreams are influenced by our body and soul
1. It both made me smile and twitch at the.
2. Umm... Its way? Its side? I don't have a clear picture.
3. Uhh... This end here is jumbled.
4. Meant to pput an exclamation mark.
5. Sunset's.
6. Was.
7. While.
8. Bringing.
9. Me.
10. I was also informed you had a duel with Shadow Sparkle.
11. Stunned.
12. Cocoa.
13. But I could use this to my advantage.
14. Comma after Twilight.
"I turned corner after corner in the library like an endless maze, rows and rows of books all I see."
"The surrounding shelves give the impression of reaching up to the ceiling, from where I stand, it seems endless."
"me"
This sentence looks to require a rewrite, probably just break it up as well.
Also, hyphens should not be used during a quick break of thought like in "it- wait". This should be an em dash "it—wait".
Em dash. Just about every hyphen I am seeing should be an em dash.
Period should be a comma.
Comma
A pound sign is not how you end a sentence, I think that should be an exclamation mark.
Comma. A lot of dialog has a period instead of a comma here.
"temper", that period should also be a comma.
This needs to be cleared up, I feel words are missing.
Change to ending quotation mark.
"followed", there are some tense changes in this story; jumping it from past to present and back to past. Should pick one tense to keep everything in.
"hit", so far the story is past tense, keep it that way.
Tenses are changing even in the same sentence.
Cause they are currently at war? That doesn't make any sense.
While I usually list mistakes and corrections in the comments, with the amount I am seeing it would be far easier to have an editor go through the whole thing on GDocs or something.
Made mad ? Is that a typo
The word tempter should be temper
I see pokemon references.