• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

JaydexTheShadowKnight


I'm an avid brony that enjoys writing human x pony romance stories. If you like what you've read, then perhaps you'd Buy Me A Coffee?

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2nd Person story featuring Vinyl Scratch and You (a human)

A few days after having a big fight with Vinyl, you fear your Hearth's Warming is going to be anything but a happy one. Now that it's Hearth's Warming Eve, you can only wonder if there is anything you can do to improve things, especially since she said the two of you shouldn't see each other anymore.

Now with Audio Reading by Swift Blade Productions.

Cover image made by Shelmo69 support their work here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 34 )

Sweet! This story was awesome! Keep up the good work, bro! :rainbowkiss:

This was such a cute and sweet story. I really enjoyed it. :heart: :twilightsmile:

Wow this... this is surprising. Well done Jay, it's good to see you back. I really mean that, I really missed you, buddy.

Thanks for writing:heart:

I was searching for an fic with vinyl too:pinkiesad2:

And it was beautiful

Well now I know what I can put on my wuffles tommorow morning because this story was sweet as syrup. Nice job dude

6774027
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

6774042
Thanks for reading! :yay:

6774198
Likewise, my friend. And I was hoping this would be a pleasant surprise! :twilightsmile:

6774225
I'm glad I was able to offer a story about Vinyl, especially one you enjoyed too! :twilightsmile:

6774567
Thank you!

I Give This A 10/10. A Good Read just Before Work. I Just Did Not Expect A New Story From You So Soon! What A Pleasant Surprise!

Title made me think of this:

And the chapter title:

Cute story. I liked it.

Pretty good, even with certain clichés here and there. :twilightsheepish: Not that it wrecks the story so much, that is to say, but it's feeling odd in some way that I can't describe, nor do I know how it can improve. :twilightblush:

Something I do know, on the other hand, is that there could be more to how this ends. I'm not good with descriptive stuff, but as soon as 'we' make it home again and Vinyl slips out of the dress (or she doesn't yet), I hear some extra dialogue sounding like this:

"Vinyl, I need to confess something."

"Yeah?"

"You know that I enjoy your sets, so much? Well the truth is, there's a special kind of beat I love even more."

"Oh? What's that?"

"This one" *at which point 'I' lower to my knees and place my hand on her chest* "The beat... of your heart."

Again, I've no ideas on describing this end scene, but it feels like it's missing from the story itself. You may use this or you decide not to, but I honestly believe it might make the end so much more than what it is now.

Or I'm simply off my head and none of it is good at all. :derpyderp1:

That was good, I really enjoyed it.
It could do with having an actual reason for the fight , Them not knowing how it happened or what it was about is not very believable.

So awesome! just like always jaydex ^^ hugs*

Excellent work as always, bro. Your writing is pretty good. I'm writing fiction right now, too, and I wish I could make stories as good as you do.

This is an awesome story! ^-^ I love Vinyl.
Couldn't help but notice what seemed to be a small error, though.

Standing up, you toss some bits on the table and turn to Vinyl. “Where did you?”

I think you mighta meant this to be "Where did you want to talk?" or somethin' ^-^
I give this story a Muffin Rating of... Ten muffins out of ten! :derpytongue2:
~SoDF

6977345
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. :twilightsmile: Vinyl's quickly becoming one of my favorite ponies now.

As for that potential error. I actually meant to do it that way. I've been paying attention to how people have conversations, and close friends or lovers sometimes tend to leave questions and parts of statements open-ended like that. I was hoping it would sound more natural.

And thanks for the awesome muffin rating! :yay: This was a story I really enjoyed writing!

6997675
That's good, that means my dark magic is doing its wo- I mean, sweet ^-^
Oh, okay! It might make a little more sense if you end with an ellipsis in that case. Or tack on something like 'you trail off, gesturing, "You know."' or something to make it flow better. in natural conversation, people don't just immediately stop talki- Squirrel! *stares at squirrel*
*looks back* As i was saying, they don't stop talking immediately without.
It would look wierd if they didn't finish a thought without either an ending (a dash for either being cut off or stopping because of something happening, or an ellipsis for trailing off) or a reason for stopping. (like, where I said Squirrel!)
It's just plain confusing.
Sorry, didn't mean to go all Grammar Teacher on you :twilightsheepish: But, I hope I helped anyway! :derpytongue2:

In your Author's note you used the word antagonist.
Are you sure you didn't mean Protagonist?

7005927
Whoops. :twilightsheepish: Is my face red. I can't believe I didn't see that. Thanks for the heads up. It's been fixed. Have a good one! :twilightsmile:

6997689
I shouldn't have typed that comment so late at night. :rainbowlaugh: Not all of my thoughts made it out in the open. I was actually thinking of adding an ellipsis, but first I wasn't sure that was the right word for it and my mind was a bit hazy from a tiring day at work. Anyway, it's been fixed to include an ellipsis now, so it will be more natural. And no worries, I welcome suggestions and aid when I typo, misspell, or make a grammatical error (such as this). It helps me improve as a writer. :twilightsmile:

Thanks again and have a good one! :yay:

7016277
^-^ I know exactly how writing at night can go sometimes ^-^ I'm quite experienced with waking up the next day, looking at my computer and wondering if I'd inhaled paint fumes or something. Cx For example, my 'grammar lesson' ...:facehoof: mein Gott, what was I drinking? Furniture polish?
~SoDF

it was a pretty sweet story, even if a little vage on the details.
but liked it none the less :twilightsmile:

7399032
I'm so glad you're enjoying it so much! :twilightsmile::yay: Thanks for reading!!

Awww, this was sweet, nicely done man! :yay:
Its hard for me to find good Vinyl/Human fics nowadays... mmm...

Nice job!

7504457
I'm glad I could write a Vinyl/Human story you could enjoy.

Thanks for reading! :twilightsmile:

7510350
Glad you wrote it!
You're welcome dude, keep it up!

I realized I didn't bother leaving a proper review for this when I read it again recently, so here goes. This is actually the third time I've read this story -- once when it first came out, again not too long ago, and also just now before writing this comment.

While I'll admit that I don't really have any particularly strong feelings for Vinyl Scratch, you definitely made it work well here. For that matter, I never knew you were into Vinyl at all, so this was an interesting surprise back when I first saw it. I like these kinds of stories about background ponies who don't get much attention in the show, and I think you should do more like this. Much more obscure than Vinyl, Sunshine Smiles would be a specific mare that I'd most like to see a story written on. I didn't even know she existed until recently, despite having seen the episode she's in several times by this point, and as far as I know, no romance story exists of her.

Anyways, back to this, the storytelling here is excellent. The hook is pretty effective, making me want to keep reading to find out why Vinyl and the human had a fight. I really didn't find any problems in this story -- outside of what I've already mentioned elsewhere regarding comma usage -- although one thing I should mention is that, in the second-to-last sentence, breath should be changed to breathe (breath is a noun, but breathe is the verb you're looking for).

Even though this one is fairly short, I don't feel like it's rushed or that it's lacking something. The brevity can even be a good thing when something short and sweet is all that's needed, and this story certainly delivers on that.

just found this.... and now I am inspired to do one for Octavia x Human.

Great Job.

8215600
Thank you, and be sure to share the link once you’ve written the story. I’d enjoy reading it. ^^

You still have the "touch" Jaydex. I always like your stories and this one was specially great. I am rereading all the stories that I have in my favorites and I am glad that some of yours have updates :D I will take my time to read them and of course enjoy them. Peace and brohoof!

8296536
Thank you, my friend. I always smile when I see activity in my notifications from you. It might also interest you to know I have two new short stories about Princess Cadence. Not sure if you're a fan of hers or not. Either way, good hearing from you. Brohoof! :twilightsmile:

That song always made me cripplingly depressed.
impressive story

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