• Published 4th Feb 2016
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Bloody Good Show - Shadow Valkyrie

Equestria becomes host to a string of bizarre and brutal murders.

  • ...

The Doctor, The Writer, and Doc's Wardrobe

Chapter 2

"Miss Hooves, can you hand me the sonic?"

"Sure, Doc. Just need to find it. Again."

After Derpy and Time Turner started dating, they had been having even more exciting adventures in the TARDIS, several of which included vacations to a cold volcano during the summer. And since they had all of space and time, that volcano would never run out for them. They were at the such place now, doing some repair jobs to the infamous police box, as well as some refueling. The volcano was also a placeholder for a rift in time. Not as good as the one in Cardiff, but it would have to do. The TARDIS was infamous to many universes. The sound of its engines would bring hope to the innocent, and strike fear into the hearts of the cruel. In this universe, where he was now Doctor Whooves, all it appeared to be was just a phone box with a broken phone. Key word: appeared to be. It was really a spaceship that could travel anywhere in space and time. She was also alive and aware. She also had quite an attitude.

This actually wasn't the first time Derpy had lost the Doctor's second most famous gadget. Ah, the sonic screwdriver; works on everything except wood. The Doctor had had it for so long that the psychic imprint that had been left on it contained 900 years of his millennium of adventure. He who had the sonic, had the memories of The Doctor. But if they absorbed all those memories that weren't their's, their minds would burn. So it was imperative that he get it back before it fell into the wrong hands, lest an evil being, or worse, an innocent claim the mind-burning knowledge. Like the Doctor's real name, the question hidden in plain sight, or the secrets of the time vortex. A time lord could process that information, but he was the last one.

"Wait! Never mind. I found it. Whew. Crises averted. But why was it under the box marked "S"? I didn't put it there. Hmm, moving on!" He soniced (Is that a word? It is now!) the time distortion detector, which he thought took too long to say, so he called it the TDD. It was the last part that needed repair, and then they could get going. But he noticed that something was off with the detector. It detected a time distortion before he even calibrated it.

"Oh, you stubborn girl. You had to leave one system online for the repairs to this room, didn't you?"

"Who ya talking to, Doc?" Derpy peeped from over the console.

"Aah! No one. Nobody at all. I'm a madman trapped in a box, remember?"

"I remember rule number one."

He sighed. "The Doctor lies. But I'm still not telling you! Haha! Anyways, this computer screen shows that there's a fixed point being altered sometime out there. That's not good. I'm afraid our honeymoon is going to be cut short. Allons-y!" The TARDIS took off, leaving that iconic sound behind to the witness: A Weeping Angel in a ponified form.

It was smiling. I dare not show you it's grin. The image of an Angel is itself an Angel you know. But inside the stone shell it could still think. Run, like you always have and always will, son of Gallifrey. You will not escape next the next time I find you.

Back in the TARDIS, the console was spewing sparks. "What's happening to her?" Derpy asked.

"When we're going to is being distorted temporally. The TARDIS doesn't like it. We're going for an emergency landing! Brace for impact!"


"Got all your limbs, Ditzy?"

"I can move. What happened?"

"Yeah, you're fine. I was kind of expecting something more along the lines of "Kaboom" or "Splash" but "Tap"? Now I'm disappointed." He looked up and yelled. "Come on fate! I know you can do better!" He stomped over to the door. "Where did we land, anyway?" He opened the door, and the phone rang. "Who is this and how did you get this number? Lyra? All right, what is the day? August? The Gala?! I better get dressed; we're on top of the castle right now! Yes, Derpy is still travelling with me. But seriously, how did you get this number? The internet?! You found my time-travelling phone number on the internet? Oh, the humans' internet? How did it reach all the was over here? Never mind, that's a story for another day. You gonna be here tonight? Cool, see ya there. Bye!" He hung up the phone, and turned back to stare at Derpy.


"Do you have a dress? We're going to a party."

It was about a month after that grisly murder in Las Pegasus A.K. Yearling had been secluded as ever, keeping to herself, writing her books about her double life, except when she went to the local town, Vanhoover for the necessary supplies. Even then, she always looked over her back whenever she went into town. It wasn't exactly what she would call "completely safe". But then again, that made the town quite colorful, especially when she got into a fight as her alternate identity. But in all honesty, A.K. Yearling was the real alternate identity. The original, and real identity was Daring Do, adventurer and treasure hunter. Since she was a character in a book, no one would come looking for her. Usually. There was one time with a sky-blue Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash, who looked remarkably similar to her. Somehow neither of them noticed this fact. She ended up being in one of her books.

Because she was so secluded, she never expected to get a letter. Her mailbox was so useless and unfilled that she often wondered why she never got rid of it. But the answer to her pondering those many times was there, in her mailbox. The mail pony went along on his rounds, delivering packages and letters across all of Equestria. That mail came 'round every two weeks, taking one week for the entire trip. One thing was certain about him: he was very dedicated to his job. Daring Do had watched him pass by her house hundreds of times, but she only had mail around once a year, sometimes less. So she was definitely surprised when this letter came to her house:

Send to the residence of A.K. Yearling, by order of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Fourth Princess, etc.

Ms. Yearling,
I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, cordially invite you to the Grand Galloping Gala of 2014. Now that formalities are dealt with, let's talk on the less formal side of things. Rainbow Dash would be disappointed if you weren't there, and so would I. Since reaching princess-hood, I have gained the ability to pull some strings in places. I use one string to get a ticket for you. You will find it enclosed in the parcel I have sent you. Since you haven't much social contact in a while, I feel compelled to help out with your social life. (Not to be insulting, I'm sure you understand) I also believe you need more experience with public events. I do hope you can come to the Gala in a few days.

Your friend,

Twilight Sparkle.

P.S. You should see Rarity about a dress if you choose to come. Usually, she can be found in Ponyville at the Carousel Boutique.

Enclosed: One ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala

Daring Do knew that Twilight was right. She was distant form society. It was about time to attend a social event that didn't involve a bar fight or an encounter with Athuzotl. She found some parchment, and wet the tip of a quill. She wrote her reply:

Princess Twilight Sparkle
Golden Oak Library
Ponyville, Equestria

Dear Twilight,

You're right. I do need at least some social interaction. You will see me at the Gala in a few days. This better be worth the trek, though. When I get to Ponyville, I will travel with you to Canterlot after I get the mess of the dress sorted out. Hope to see you soon.


A.K. Yearling

She packed some saddlebags, and started heading south to Ponyville and her friends.

"Does this work for me?"

"No, it's too sparkly. Try something toned down."


"Oh, you would look beautiful an that, Ditzy. Try it on while I find something." Doc rummaged through the massive room that he used as the wardrobe of the TARDIS. He did find something that looked like it would work well for the Gala. When he came out with it in his hoof, he saw Derpy, transformed into one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. "Oh, I have no words except: you look great."

"What do you have for the party?"

"A bow tie, and a blue suit. It's like one that 10 wore, but it's not the same."

"How does a bow tie fit for the fancy Gala?"

"Bow ties are cool."

Author's Note:

There was one time with a sky-blue Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash, who looked remarkably similar to her.

I can and I will remark about it.