Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Castle Sweet Castle
"Alright girls, think. What was it that Twilight loved so much about living in the Golden Oak Library?"
"Um, nothing. She thought this place was a backwater town full of hicks that wasn't worth her time. She just stayed here to get away from Celestia."
"Well, 'ah can't really blame her there. Rarity, remember that one time we got stuck in the library during that thunderstorm, and she tried to get the two of us in bed with her?"
"Remember the time I purposefully waited for her to finish sorting, then "crash" into the shelves after my Sonic Rainboom attempt?"
"Remember the time we all conspired to get her sent back to Magic Kindergarten?"
"Remember the time right after her coronation where she summoned us all to the library to learn about the benefits of-"
"NO!" the other four screamed at Pinkie.
"Darling, I thought we agreed to never speak of that again."
"Alright alright. I'm sure that we can all agree that the more inviting we make this castle, the more time she'll spend in it, the less time she'll spend with us, and the less she'll be seen around town. That just means better things for everypony."
Dear Council of Friendship,
I must say, thank you for the spa treatment. It was very nice. After that, Fax Machine and I visited the remains of the library, and a button prompt appeared.
'Press F to pay respects.'
Weird.
So then he decides he wants a bed. I wonder why Quills and Sofas has beds. Maybe they're expanding.
When we finally get back to the castle, we notice that you all have done absolutely nothing.
Oh, wait, would you look at that. You turned the ass of a tree into a chandelier, and decorated it with gems filled with memories of the last five unpleasant Celestia damn years. It's just what this castle needed. So what happened to the basement of the library? So now there's just a hole in the ground with scientific equipment in it?
Thanks, but guess what? The halls still fucking echo. Pathetic.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Rarity,
Look, it's been nice. You know, four plus years at not having my affections returned at all. So this is goodbye.
Bulk Biceps took me to the gay side of the spa, and... Um...
Fax Machine? More like Fabulous-ass Machine from now on.
Sincerely,
Spike
Dear Spike,
Perfectly fine darling. You can go.
Right after you give me royalty payments for that plush you sleep with.
-Rarity
Dear Angel,
Lock me out again, and I'll get your face really acquainted with a mud puddle. So long that you just might drown.
Sincerely,
Fluttershy
Dear Council of Friendship,
Why did you all have Spike delay Twilight until Sunset? I'm not coming back. My past is not today. Your human versions are so much more willing to put out.
Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer
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ha.
Teehee~
Yes. All my yes.
Damn, this episode was disgruntled gold.
Go home Sunset Shimmer, they weren't talking about you.
"Yes, this will make for a glorious chapter," milesprower06 said, staring at his television screen while drumming his fingers together in a sinister manner, his mouth set into a wicked smile. "Very glorious indeed..."
YOU FUCKIN DIDN'T. Of course you did. And I don't blame you. I'm pissed that scene wasn't in the movie.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/348/331/8b0.jpg
Yep -- I was kind of thinking that way with Angel. It was funny to see Flutters locked out tho.
destructoid.com//ul/283385-pressfrespect.jpg
Saw what you did there.
How this group should have decorated the castle to make Twilight want to stay in it?
With belly dancers.
Saddle Arabian belly dancer ponies along every corridor.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/231/7/2/belly_dancer_sun_stone_by_vinylbecks-d6iwnpq.png
Twilight would never leave.
I think EVERYPONY thought of Sunset Shimmer every time they said "sunset".
5854840
My God, he's slowly becoming Mr. Burns from The Simpsons!
5854970 What do you mean slowly?
Dear Pinkie Pie,
Remember when you brought smiles to other ponies faces? Seriously; out of the DOZENS of good memories we had at that library, and you come up with a bad one? Not just any bad one, but THE bad one?
Screw you,
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity
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5854980 Press F to pay respects??
Sorry I don't get that Joke...
5854984 Hey now, no spoiling Responses. At least wait until keaton-furman-prower has written it.
I'm surprised they didn't put tnt or explosives to blow up disgruntled twilight as their decorations for the castle.
That would send a thousands of ponys cheering but an end to Letters from a Disgruntled Friendship Student.
I'm not sure if Spike will give up on Rarity just yet, though since everyone is a jerk in this world, I doubt Rarity will want him anyway, considering Twilight already tried.
5855106 Heyyyyy Spider Derp, long time no see.
You did that on purpose.
The letter was funny in and of itself, but that last pic as the author's notes; that got me outright laughing. Great chapter!
5855115 Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare Campaign Mode, Mission 2: Atlas.
At the start of the level, you're attending the funeral of your best friend; Will Irons, the son of Jonathon Irons.
By pressing F, you put your palm on the coffin, saying your last farewells to Will.
I get the joke there...
5855115
What Shadowmane PX-41 said. Basically, everyone in the gaming community facepalmed at that bizarre attempt to put interaction in what was basically a cutscene, by making you press "f" somewhere in it
The actual scene was already posted here by 5854877
Press F was taken from knighty. You bastard.
5856080 Um... What? Do you not get the reference or something? I don't know what you're trying to say here
Yeah, a nostalgia episode's going to play out quite differently in this setting. And what did happen to the lab?
dat autor's note tho
Really?
i.imgur.com/XNiScrQ.gif
Dear Spa Clones,
What the hell did you do to my Mistress's mane?! That horrible atrocity to style almost made me vomit. How dare you take perfection and turn it into something even the so-called "King of Games" would be embarrassed to be seen sporting? At least that crime against pony-kind did not last very long. However, your little clone club still needs to be punished. However, by my and Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's perspective, it will be a reward. You are hereby ordered to come to the castle tonight at nine and service my Mistress for forty-eight hours straight. And if you are really good at serving your sentence, she might just allow you to finish. If you fail to show up to serve your time, the Ponyville Day Spa will meet a fate similar to Golden Oak Library, and both of you will be thrown in the dungeon below Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle and forced to carry out your sentence a thousandfold with no hope of release.
...In every sense of the word.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and bailiff,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
I had the evilest smile when twilight kicked angel over
taken out of context I would likely be called a psycopath
still worth it
After seeing that picture in the author's notes, I immediately decided to give your story a thumbs up.
Except I already did, a long time ago.
Also, did anyone else laugh their ass off when Bulk Biceps went all kool-aid man on Spike, picked him up with his massive fucking pecks, and then waddled the fuck out with him? That shit had me on the floor!
5859099 Indeed, that was the funniest part of the episode.
5854980
Well you have yet to obtain yellow skin, your body is probably not the equivalent of an old man with the strength of a newborn yet and your mouth has yet to morph itself into a state where your lower jaw has all but fused with your neck/throat.
Also, I doubt you smell of sin and vice... or am I wrong?
Either way, you have a long way to go... not so eeee~xcellent just yet
SpikeCeps?
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/333/629/f8a.jpg
Non-consul gaming. Can not understand the appeal.
I'm not the only one who noticed Bon-Bon was unimpressed with the salestallion trying to get her to buy a two pony bed right? It's not like she has a stallion to share it with.
Fuck Rarity.
5856088 Knighty was the one that originally posted a blog post saying "Press F To Pay Respects." Look at it for yourself.
5861930 Okay... but that doesn't change the fact that it's a reference to Call of Duty, Knighty doesn't own it just because he made a blog post mentioning it
5854980 "Release the diamond dogs."
I absolutely love the image at the end of the chapter.
Man, I love that "My Past Is Not Today" video. Sunset just looks so fresh and joyous at the end.
I thought the "Press F to pay respects" thing was from Arkham City.
Am I the only one who was surprised that Rainbow Dash was the least-catastrophic decorator?
Lol you got me bro. I did NOT notice that
LOL Loved the author's note at the end.
5858625 there's a gif of that bit with the GTA 'wasted' screen. I laughed at that for hours
Wait, so let me get this straight...in this AU, they wanted to male the castle look pretty...so they wouldn't have to spend time with Twilight anymore?
...Man they really don't like her.