Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter: Hearts and Hooves 2015

Dear Princess Twilight,

Please don't be sad that Flash had sudden unexplained duties "abroad" and that you'll be spending Hearts and Hooves Day alone.

Because when you think about it, no one loves you on any other day of the year either.

Sincerely,
Rainbow, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity

---

Dear Princess Cadance,

I thought you had assured me that Flash was cleared of any assignments this week. What the hell? This is your fault, so you'd better be prepared to share my brother.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

---

Dear Twilight,

Flash was very insistent, I'm afraid, and I owed him a favor after that one time Shining couldn't keep it up long enough. But don't worry, I'll get in touch with Luna and make sure to have something good for you tonight.

Sincerely,
Cadance

Comments

[Iron Comet]

Ah, a dream of where Twilight gets a shimmering suprise!

[silvadel]

What she didn't say is that was a nightmare for shimmer.

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Rainblow, Applecrack, Fluttershit, Pukey, and Raricow,

All of you can go die in most horrible way possible for each of you. Rainbow, die after standing stock still in a traffic jam for three hours. Applejack, choke on a bushel of pears. Fluttershy, go get mauled to death by bunnies with ponies pointing and laughing at you. Pinkie, death by broccoli. Rarity, hang yourself with Applejack's fashion line.

Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle is not just loved, but worshiped. And though my mistress does not return the sentiment, I am happy for the privilege of serving and servicing her.

I will defend her honor to the bitter end and gut you all like fish if you make her cry.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and chevalier,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

Dear Princess Luna,

I do not know what you did, but Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle had the most beautiful smile last night. And when she woke up, she was happier than she has been since the day she did not hypnotize and brainwash me with her sexy voice.

Thank you so very much.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave who is in complete control of his body,
Stupid Cunt Breath.

---

---

~KBO.

[Scarheart]

Dear Luna,

Why the gag reflex at breakfast this morning?

[ShadowLDrago]

This is actually pretty nice, guess that despite being a horrible pony, even Twilight can win sometimes.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Replacement Goldfish,

Remember, the moment that pink piece of hard candy jutting out of your skull can do real magic, you're my bitch for a decade.

With love,
Auntie Luna

[articunos bitch]

Hehehehe...Maybe Luna can make Twilight a futa for another level of fun.

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

5623855 I dunno, that pic looks like Sunset's enjoying it.

[Tomi]

Twilight gets a happy ending for once.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

5624652 Maybe in Twilight's dreams, but what about in Sunset's dreams?

[Spartan-Guy 88]

Happy Hearts and Hooves Day to you too.

imatevents.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/ill-be-celebrating-valentines-day-han-style-olo.jpg

[1stChosenStar]

Happy "Loner-awareness" day to all!

[TimeLord11]

Ah the Sunlight. Such a beautiful thing

[Desert Tortoise 22]

5624727 are you sure Luna's power works across universes?

[AdmiralPopeyesBeard]

Ahh another good one.

Happy singles awareness day!

[StormLuna]

Now for the big question, why would Twi want Flash to start with? After all, throughout this you have always had Twi say that unicorns are the master race, and well now she is an Alicorn that puts her up even higher. Why would she want a lowly pegasus? Wouldn't that kind of be beastiality in this Twilight's eyes? Besides, I thought Flash was gay, he sure looks it, both in human and pony form.

[Veylon]

5633112
I would've like to see the Hero Spike thing explored. They could've done an episode where the Mane Six (and Spike) are going up to check on the preparations for the Equestria Games. All the Crystal Ponies are excited to see Spike and the Mane Six - when they get noticed at all - are "Spike's Friends" or "Those Ponies who came with Spike". They'd get a chance to walk a mile in Spike's nonexistent shoes and see what it's like to be the third wheel for a change. They'd be irritated at first, but eventually the lightbulbs would go on and they'd realize that this is what Spike experiences on a regular basis and that maybe that's not such a good thing.

[Shining Dawn]

5633188 I know! There are so many brilliant possibilities. And I'm sure they could have theoretically gotten multiple episodes from the Equestria Games.

[kooarbiter]

I'm surprisaed you didn't do a chapter on winter storm Octavia

[MixMassBasher]

5646856
Meanwhile, at Canterlot...

Foal Free Press reports of a cellist pony going AWOL after a certain pink pony paid a surprise visit to her for Hearts and Hooves Day.

Pinkie Pie claims she sorry for all the whip cream splattered all over Ms Octavias house.

"Sorry I set my party canon too high" Pinkie Pie claims.

The Royal Guard has now called this incident Cream Storm Octavia.

Now Pinkie Pie must repay for the damages caused by the incident and has now set up a kissing booth off right near Ponyville.

(Two Bits for a Kiss
20 Bits for a F##K)

[kooarbiter]

5655213

why would ponies pay 20 bits for a fork?

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

5655213 But Pinkie clearly has 0 f##ks to give.

[Kiryu]

5655216 Because the fork is drenched in Celestia's juices

[Seraph_Of_Snow]

(Now for the obligatory fan latter.)

Dear Princess Twilight,

If you are truly looking for a good fuck then please sleep over at Freddy's Pizzeria. There exists a night guard who would desire some fun before his miserable and short life gets any worse.

Signed, A Flash Sentry Fanatic.

P. S. Go rape someone else you unattractive harlot.

[kooarbiter]

5663187

[Kiryu]

5667393
Hahahahaha!!!

[kooarbiter]

5668929

[Kiryu]

5669489
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDnu0giUS00

[PrincessAJ]

and I owed him a favor after that one time Shining couldn't keep it up long enough.

Cadance you slut.

[Dodo Of Chaos]

Damn son.

[Shining Dawn]

5673631 And you literally have to feed it Gems.

[Eclipse LunarSol]

If only this was how I could spent my Valentines... Wait, this is how I spend my valentines...

[dafiltafish]

Sunlight is a pretty good ship if I do say so.