Alton wants to go to summer camp... and to be a pony. But, (thanks to those pesky age requirements) he can't... be a pony. Now, he gets both things in the form of Conversion Camp: a summer camp where the campers are humans turned ponies! They even go to EQUESTRIA! It's the chance of a lifetime!
-A Conversion Bureau Story
Hello people (and ponies, few as there are) of the internet! This story, is going to be an ongoing "series" of short chapters. And (as a unique twist) if you like what you're reading, or think you can do better, then you can send me a chapter (about what ever you want) and (if I like it, and it fits) then I'll add it to the story!
... With credit to the writer of course.
But any ways, I hope you enjoy, and collaborate with me on this on going series!
Interesting concept. I've pondered the age thing before, but this looks like it will be an interesting take on the situation.
this could be interesting, if their is enough of an intrigue to the story. sens the human have the choice to come back as a human than you story doesn't seen to happen in the standard TCB universe. Still I wander what sort of activity they are going to do during this summer camps they can't do all the same things that your standard human sumer camp do so what will it make it different. I could easily imagine that they will have little trouble finding food while they travle seen they will be able to graze on grass for basic sustenance. It seem that their is going to be a lot of traveling in this story a lot of chances to get lost or to discover strange magical mysteries or a lot of cultural exchanges with the equestrian. I tought that their is going to have anything to do with the HLF or the PER but they could be used as hostages by the former organization. In this case I thing that it would be best if the main character becomes an hearth pony but the get to have a pegasus friend as well a unicorn to make it a well rounded team and that he would start off hating it but would progressively start to appreciate the strength ans resilience of the Hearth Pony. I hope you get a new chapter out soon and if possible make it at least 3k words to make it interesting.
I would recommend this family, the father is a bat pony who has recently moved to Ponyville because he has retired from the Lunar Gaurd, the mother is a unicorn who is a cook and stay at home mom, finally the child is a Pegasus filly who loves humans and will constantly badger our protagonist about life on Earth.
This was a good chapter it is great that the kid get to spend his summer in ponyville and that he gets to have rainbow Dash as an instructor for flying. as for his hosting family I think Snip and Snails family could be an interesting idea to explore and they have never been used as has hosting HiE story as far as I know. The two of the could be good funny company for the kid and could get into interesting situations with him.
Hope this help
6776636
I like it! I'll use it!
... Now for the name...
6776709
You know, that actually does sound like an interesting idea, with lots of potential. I'm gonna write that idea down, and (possibly) use it one day.
like to see more :D
I know! Isn't I great!
flicked my tale,
1: should be isn't it great. If dash was boasting she would use proper grammar, that's how I could tell it was a bit off.
2: should be tail.
Interesting story so far. I'm eager to see where you take this.
It's good to see an other chapter of your story again. I like the Flit wick so far, he has a lot of character to him, as he seems to jabber on as much as Pinky Pie, and doesn't lot at all shy to take to new ponies; and I could see a lot of potential of him in the story, I wander if he will show Alton all over Ponyville and show him all the stuff that they can do their when their isn't any activities planed; I wander if the Foals of ponyville are also part of the same summer program as they do or a one that share some activities with them to help mix the new foals better with the Equestrians so that they immerse them selves better with the community. I don't recall that when the kids are supposed to wakeup in their host-family right after their transformation; I could have think that their would have been presented either before or after the tf, watched over by the doctors and counselors in the room to make that they are well and calm and then bring them to their home. At least for me it would make more sens then waking in a strangers house alone.
This was cute.
I'm laughing way too hard at this. Is it like a little slot you would need to put a bit into to get something to turn on? Thanks a lot for the laugh, the word you're looking for is onslaught. I don't blame you, I would probably do something similar. This story has a lot of potential, I'm going to keep following.
(Keep in mind, I mean you no offense when I say any of this. It's fun when you can make something new and funny with a typo, I once was writing an essay for school and I accidentally spelled counterclaim as counterclam. All I could think of was Phoenix Wright with a clam for a head.)
Keep writing, stay determined.
6828499
That makes way more sense!!!
6830337 maybe you are too much in a hurry to get into the story, you should ask yourself the why of every situations so that you cover all your bases in your story, and help you think of new avenues your story could take.
6828526
Thank you!
Interesting chapter and it is nice to meet part of the host family! Could have sworn that I had this story tracked originally glad I re stumbled across it! Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
Great so the ponies just over did the training bit. Hopefully they get use to their new bodies soon!
it's great to see an other chapter of this story again. I think it was a good chapter but I would have like it better if their had explain more of what happened during the day activity to get them all warn out like that and to see all the fun they had during that. I would have imagined that the Earth Ponies had a better time then the others seeing that they don't have as much training to do as the others and have a much greater stamina then all the rest. maybe your should add an Earth Pony as a companion, to the group to complete the set and to show the others what they are missing out on. I wander what els it there is to do outside the champ.
Wow,that was a nice chapter.
I think you could revise the second half to ", for one, your dexterity has decreased"
That's just my opinion though, I don't know if it would improve it with in the context though, I'm no English major.
I am loving this story so far, but~ you did skip out on all the cool details of what they did during their training. Hope we get see more details in the next chapter.
You know... From the description, I thought Alton was going to summer camp, but wouldn't be ponified during the camp because of age restrictions. I read it too fast I guess, but if you care to expand the chapters a bit, it might help to go back and explain in the story that he is not old enough for ponification.