Shadow Chaser's second tale follows him and Rainbow Dash on a voyage to the lost city of Marelantis, an ancient underwater city, thought lost for ages. But before they can even begin Applejack notices the Cutie Mark Crusaders have gone missing. As Shadow, Rainbow, and the insisting Applejack, chase after them, they quickly find themselves caught in a deadly chase to Marelantis and must use theirs wits, speed and strength to overcome all odds and rescue the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Page generated in 0.175 seconds
Total duration
1,073 users online
1,865,800 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
These chapters will be coming much slower than my first story but hopefully this story will turn out even better and probably be quite a bit longer.
Also, do you guys prefer the spaces between paragraphs like the first story or the format it's in now? I sort of like the spaces but this style makes it seem like more of a book. Let me know.
And leave me some feedback. I could use it.
Ooh new adventure! Marelantis and Dash is learning detective skills
Nice use of Applejack as the element of honesty!
And did the Cmc really think they could fool a trained detective and get away with it?
The shouting in unison was perfect too.
Poor Shadow walked right into that one with them deciding to find Marelantis after all his explaining
Seems like things are going to get very exciting from here
I find it easier to read with the spaces but I agree that without does look more like an actual book.
Either way however is readable.
Sorry for the super long delay between chapters on this one. I only really have time to write on weekends. Hope you're all still enjoying. :)
Wow somehow forgot to favorite this
I'll try to catch up
Nice job Applejack hog-tying that colt
Ah yes the good old rub something to see the previous page's message. Always works
Seriously Rarity never say 'how hard can it be', it's asking for trouble. (Shadow knows better than to quote depressing statistics in front of them and to just get on with the case)
Applejack and Rarity are great in-character here and I liked how you worked in Shadow's embarrassing past with Rarity.
Zecora cameo!
“You move so fast, you’re looking blurry. But what has you, in such a hurry?” - This is the best line of them
But yeah when there's trouble best look to the CMC for the cause of it
The memory image spell is awesome and I can totally see it working in the show.
And Dash knows Shadow so well now that she instantly knows he told them about the case.
Ah Rarity! She knows that she's not suited for rough and tumble adventures and acknowledges that she would slow them down but she stills helps them get on their way.
Well played
'Pretty rough town' Oh snap, Shadow think before you speak
Also kiss-hoof bump = win
Yes! A dream sequence/flashback
(They're always interesting to read)
That was seriously mean to be pretending to drown and then he earns his cutie mark leaving only Shadow as a blank flank in the class. Harsh
“Oh yea, the fashionista and the private detective. I could solve crime in the highest of fashion" = A very very average and cheesy old show called Moonlighting.
It's late here now so I'll try to review the next two chapters tomorrow.
I like the description of Daisy as "the aunt that only sees you during family reunions"
Also it makes sense for the Flim Flam brothers to be in such a shady place.
The tension between Shadow and Broomtail is great as Broomtail knows exactly what to say to rile him up.
Interesting as well that he's Shadow's brother and how it will play into things.
And it's always good to have some hired muscle in these cases with Tony the gentle giant
'flirt with applejack' mode and AJ's reaction
I totally can see how poor AJ would be the least likely to meet colts that would pay attention to her especially over the others even if she did go out on the town. (Even many fans have her as their least favourite).
Nice flashback. No wonder Officer Berry had such trouble breaking the news to Shadow. There's no way to cushion the emotional blow of something devastating like that.
It makes sense that the sheer shock of it can barely register with Shadow and how he he still can remember the sicking mixture of smells on that day.
The drama and the romance of Shadow and Dash is well played with Dash of course being the element of loyalty and not budging when Shadow wants to protect her as usual. Dash has the reaction anyone would have seeing that. So great development of their relationship overall.
The famous Bruno appears with CMC! Glad no one else 'took them in' then the story would be way darker.
I can imagine them shouting 'Cutie Mark Crusader Fire fighters yay!' and being more trouble than help
(I thought I would have more time today but I might have to wait until late tomorrow or sunday to properly review the next chapters. I don't like to just skim things.)
Ooh! Shadow has a dangerous dopperganger after the Captain, nice!
But it seems like he learned his lesson about telling too much finally, leaving out the changeling for the CMC
And we get to see more Bruno and Tony
at Shadow's line of 'I'm on fire' and then getting drenched.
Yeah I thought it was weird as well that they didn't technically beat the changelings, all they really did was just move them somewhere else. They're still out there probably still feeding on ponies wherever they landed. But it's really cool that you added them in and I can totally see Twilight gloating about getting Dash to read more than just Daring Do.
I knew Broomtail would be back!
But this implies that he's not the main villain? Hmm so the villain is working with changlings and wants both the Captain and Shadow dead, the plot thickens as they say
Also changing fight is epic!
Warship =
Naval battles!
Nice introductions to the crew too
More dream! Poor Shadow's had such a tragic past.
(No wonder he doesn't want Dash to know everything)
His last moments with his father is the stuff of tearjerkers and I liked how his father had faith in him but also realized that someone can only get so far alone without the help of others.
Of course his father (and mother) would be deeply saddened to know that now their oldest son is a for hire criminal trying to kill his own brother.
This Aqua one better not steal him from Dash
(I can understand her point of view though)
(Now you have me wanting to see how Luna saved him)
I love AJ's development : how she finds out that she's a natural with boats and how she's bonding with the Captain (really cute)
Aww his cutie mark story is really sad, he lost the last of his family to a petty grudge that wasn't even his fault. (I think filly is a young female horse though, it should be colt).
(Good backstory with Daisy too)
At least he has friends this time on his case and I can't wait for more mystery and adventure.
Phew finally caught up on everything!
I should be able to read the new chapters hopefully as they come out now.
877793 When I wrote the part with Shadow and his dad I was almost in tears. Glad it was a tear jerking for you as it was for me.
Glad you're liking it. I'm going on vacation this week so the next chapter might take a while. I promise to get it up as soon as I can.
MORE!!!!
GAH! Why would you end on such a dramatic cliffhanger
One of the crew must now rescue our heroes but who will it be....
Anyways even though it was a shorter chapter than usual, all the action was awesome and exciting dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
And that was really clever to use AJ's applebucking skills to sabotage the ship
959948 Well, I promise there won't be three weeks between the next update. I'll try to make it as soon as possible. And don't worry. Shadow's got lady luck on his side.
Marelantis is real!
Are they sea ponies or regular land ponies though?
Breaking my heart again with the flashbacks!
Seriously though it's awesome to learn more about Shadow's past.
I love what his mom told him, so true.
Pony swears are the best swears!
And poor Dash, that is a LOT to process after such trauma.
'I slightly pink magical dome was overhead, not unlike the one Shining Armor had used to protect Canterlot during the changeling invasion'. -Was this meant to be a? (typos are just another part of the writing process xD)
But that was really good thinking to use the same spell on Marelantis as it isn't an overly specified spell just a strong barrier so it works perfectly. And of course Dash wants to mess with a high level barrier just to see what would happen
(That exchange was hilarious with Shadow knowing exactly what she was thinking)
(Also Dash and her narrow world view. Too loyal to Equestria to care about any other countries
)
I also like to believe that Equestria is just one part of the world and that there are different species and cultures out there beyond its borders (Zecora is proof of this theory)
Zebricians sounds way better than Zebras and more like an actual culture too.
And a solid explanation how and why Equestria 'lost' Marelantis.
More changling intrigue with changling pirates seeming to be the most terrifying thing you could meet on the high seas (and that fact that even other vicious pirates avoid shows this
)
Oh snap! That was certainly an tension filled way to end the chapter...
They lost sight of the ship and Shadow and Dash are having internal conflicts and taking it out on each other.
Can't wait to see more of it develop
1024632 Good call. I don't always catch all these typos I make. My usual editor is super busy so I'm having to proof read my own things, which can be hard.
Glad you're liking it though. Hopefully the next few chapters will be a good ride for you.
(would have commented earlier but was busy)
Oh damn this was a heavy one (but of course great)
My heart is broken (again!) with Shadow's attempts to put his past behind him and not blame himself for the past events.
).
Even if Skip had come with him, I think it was already too late for his mother to ever fully recover.
It was a nice twist though having her be undercover to investigate the changlings.
Shadow's speech to Broomtail was epic and he would have beat him to a pulp with his rage if he hadn't teleported with the changling. But damn Broomtail is NOT someone to be messed with (he killed his own mother without any regrets and then gloated about it!
And he and Dash made up somewhat so that's good. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
Also the transformation to sea ponies was awesome (especially how it tricks the user into thinking that they are a natural at swimming). dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
That was intense.
I loved the mental image of AJ bucking a changeling off the ship
I was worried that Shadow was going to sacrifice himself to take down Broomtail and the changelings and then it became even more gut wrenching when Skip suddenly knocked him out and I realized it wasn't to come up with a different plan.
Poor AJ as well she only really could tell him how she felt just before he took off.
But it was worse for Shadow as he didn't have any sort of 'family' left at all and I understand completely why he broke down after Skip's death.
The funeral service and then Shadow reciting Skip's favorite prayer was very touching
And Marelantis will still stay only a legend in the minds of most Equestrians.
At least the others got to meet Solar and Coral
Even though I understand the reasons, it's really sad to see Shadow and Rainbow Dash go their separate ways
They were such a great crime solving duo despite their differences.
Well it was definitely a great ride with awesome new characters, changeling intrigue and heartbreaking backstory for Shadow.
1104125 Well, at least I didn't have the relationship end. I toyed with the idea throughout that conversation and kept it purposefully vague. In the end, I decided they make an alright couple but Shadow works best alone. So, Rainbow might still be in the stories but she won't be solving any more mysteries.
1104452
So there's still hope for them!
At least cameos for Dash anyways and yeah Shadow does get distracted having to look after others while trying to solve a case. Also more stories =
... Poor Anchor. Never got a work in ...