Equestria + Test

by Shukawarioserfi

The Placement Test

Starlight Academy, a school where geniuses, and idiots, are rigidly separated by their test scores. Those test scores are determined during The Academic Placement Test at the first of the year. The questions are unlimited, but get progressively harder. Each pony has about 3 hours to complete the exam. Pressure's on them to excel and be great to enjoy the pleasures of a comfortable school environment in Class A with recliners, laptops, a free soda fountain and an awesome snack bar. If your test scores are the lowest however, you will be placed in the pit of eternal damnation that is Class F, with squeaky low wooden tables and worn-out old mats.

"Alright students, it is now time to begin the exam!" Yelled the intimidating Mrs. Inkwell, Unicorn English teacher and proctor of the exam. "Each exam has unlimited questions and you get a certain number of points in each subject should you get one right. There are no penalties for wrong answers, so don't worry about taking your time on the multiple choice questions. Now start!" She barked, pulling out a gold watch with her hooves and looking at the classroom clock to see if the time on it was correct. Both read 8:45.

The sound of pencils and hooves hitting paper reverberated all around the room, only a few ponies were still looking over the exam, one of them was the sky blue and white pegasus Nova Blaze, a second year student who was not inherently bright. The first part of the test was elementary school math.

"Okay, so 6 x 6 is two sixes so that's 66 right?" Said Nova Blaze quietly to himself, trying to figure out this incredibly hard math problem. He jotted down the answer as 66.

Rainbow Dash however, was breezing through the elementary school math problems. "Easy!" She thought to herself, she skimmed over all the algebra questions though, silently protesting why letters needed to be used in math to begin with.

Mix-up, a cerulean Prench exchange student and pegasus, was relieved that the start of the test was only Math. He managed to finish all of the math problems on the original test except the word problems. He was the first pony to ask for more unlimited math questions, but that was mostly to avoid the English section of the test.

Some thought Thunder Quill would challenge Twilight Sparkle for the highest test scores in the academy, the Unicorn however, was out sick. Unfortunately, there are no makeups for The Placement Test, and he'll receive zeroes in all subjects for being absent from class.

Ocean blue Pegasus Skye Mist's strategy was to try and get the highest score in one subject, Equine History. Completely ignoring all other subjects for the first hour of the test.

Blue-Grey Earth Pony Lunar Love sighed at the fact that since the test had unlimited questions, she couldn't finish the test until the three hours were over. She still moved quickly, however, and instead filled out the bubbles randomly for every multiple choice question.

Among the other students, Gearhead, also one of the smartest ponies, had to leave early due to an undisclosed emergency, he left with a score of 775, but he was well on pace for at least 2000. The rest of the ponies were eager to rest after the 3 hours were over, except Twilight Sparkle, who had to be removed by security for refusing to put down her pencil.

It was early dismissal after the placement test, and far too many ponies were confident that they had good scores. After nearly getting molested by security, Twilight escaped to meet up with her friends at the Castle.

"Well..." Twilight said, panting. "Did everypony get high scores?" She asked, anxiously hoping that she didn't have to see her friends all go to different classes.

"I'm not really sure Twilight." Said Applejack nervously. "We should get our results mailed before tomorrow. You should be in Class A for sure."

"Come on Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes. "It's not like I took my test on flight, I'm doomed for class F."

"Well... um." Fluttershy mumbled. "I don't think I did terrible at it."

Rarity nodded. "I think I did well, a portion of the test was even on dressmaking."

"It was easy." Pinkie Pie said happily.

"Oh!" Twilight groaned. "We can't get split up! We'll have to go to war against eachother."

"Calm down Twilight." Rainbow said. "It's not like we're ALL bound for a different class, we'll just declare Summoner Test wars on classes that don't include one of us..." Rainbow was interrupted by mailpony Derpy, who handed each pony a letter, no doubt with the results of their Placement Test.

"What!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Class F!" She groaned and slammed her head against the table.

Twilight gasped. "Class A!" She said happily. "And I have the highest scores in the academy."

"Class C!" Pinkie Pie said smiling. "Yay! I did it!"

"Class B." Rarity said casually. "It's not quite Class A but certainly a well kept environment for studying."

"Class D." Fluttershy sighed. "Looks like I didn't do good after all."

"Class E." Applejack said relieved. "I was sure I'd be in Class F."

Rainbow Dash lifted her head off of the table. "Wait... does that mean we're ALL in different classes?"

Derpy the mailpony, shook her head. "Hey! Look! I got class F too!" she grinned and showed Rainbow Dash her letter. "And look at the bottom of yours Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow shrugged and unfolded her letter in her hooves, looking at the bottom. "Class Rep?" She said dumbfounded. "So I'm the president of the idiot class?"

"Look at that, I got Class Rep too!" Twilight grinned. "This will be fun!"

"C Class Rep." Pinkie squealed. "Woo hoo!"

"That's peculiar." Rarity said puzzled. "I seem to have gotten class representative as well."

"Looks like y'all are not the only one's." Applejack said. "I got it too."

Everypony stared at Fluttershy, who was staring anxiously at her letter. "I- I'm one too." She said quietly. Everypony cheered, lifting Fluttershy in the air and Pinkie Pie blasted her confetti cannon.

Back at their respected homes, the not so well known students looked at their results as well. Nova Blaze could barely hear somepony's hoof knocking on his door over the loud rock music blaring through his headphones. He sighed, taking off his headphones and opening the door, at the door was Mrs. Inkwell herself. "You know Nova Blaze, when I first saw you I thought you might be one of the dumbest ponies in the history of this academy..." She handed him his letter. "And I was wrong." She continued, while Nova Blaze opened his letter. "You are in fact..." Nova Blaze read the letter carefully, which wasn't really necessary due to a big F being the only thing on the page. "The dumbest pony in the history of Equestria."

"WHAT!!!" Nova Blaze yelled, his piercing voice echoing at about a 5 mile radius.

Mix-up trotted up to his community mailbox, his being the only one splattered in stickers and paint in a row of plain white mailboxes. He promptly tripped over his hooves when he read the letter. "Ze F class..." He muttered, as the letter floated onto his mane. "Zis will not end well."

Thunder Quill was in his bed with his head buried into his pillow. His brother Red trotted into his room. "Hey I got A Class." he said happily, before changing his tone to console his brother. "What's the matter?"

Thunder Quill lifted his head from his pillow unamused. "You do realize that I was out sick today..." He said, before sneezing into his hoof. "The day of the placement test."

Red looked at Thunder Quill. "So?" He said. "That just means you'll be the smartest in Class F."

"I could've been the smartest in Class A had I taken that test!" He yelled, before burying his head back into his pillow. "I'm not going to spend all year being called an idiot." He said muffled, sighing into his pillow. "Go away Red."

Red shrugged and left, turning off the lamp and shutting the door.

Lunar Love sat lazily on her couch eating chocolate candy as an undisclosed colt handed her the letter. "Class F huh?" The mare said, taking another bite of chocolate. "I hope I can make some new friends." She said smiling, as she wiped chocolate off her face with her hoof.

Skye Mist had to go all the way into town to receive her letter, and she was not too happy about it. No mail pony would dare venture into the forest where she lived, and as a result of where she lived, one of her ears is partially shredded. She didn't have a mail box anywhere, so she had to go to the post office to receive her letter.

"Good afternoon, how are you doing today?" The colorful mare at the front desk asked. Skye Mist just continued as if she wasn't talking.

"Skye Mist, I'm here for my mail..." She said impatiently. "I don't have an address."

"Go ahead and sit down, we'll call your name as soon as we have more information." The colorful mare said with a smile. Skye Mist just blinked and stood there. The colorful mare sighed and pointed with her hoof to the nearest empty seat in the waiting room. Skye sat down to wait.

As soon as they called her name (about the 32nd time) Skye Mist stood up and claimed her mail, what she saw was shocking. "I came all this way just to be told I'm stupid! That stupid test is rigged!" She yelled, quite loudly I might add, due to her hearing loss. Security carried her out of the post office. "Did you hear that! That stupid test is rigged!" She yelled, as security carried her out the door.

Among the other ponies, Vinyl Scratch, Gearhead and Sapphire Flare ended up in Class E with Applejack. Trixie, Monotone, and Holly Shipper, ended up in Class D with Fluttershy. Lyra, Lily Bloom, and Moonshade, ended up in Class C with Pinkie Pie. Bon Bon, Opacare Prose, and Rose Velvet, ended up in Class B with Rarity. And Octavia, Sirocco, and Coalstone ended up in class A with Twilight Sparkle, with the top three scorers being Twilight Sparkle, Coalstone, and Octavia, respectively.

The first official day of Class starts tomorrow, and in addition to dividing the ponies based on academics, the school also implements a system called the Summoner Test Wars. Each class can declare war on another class in exchange for better classroom equipment, with the losing class having to exchange their equipment with the winner. The school implements a Summoning System where each student can summon a hybrid-pony avatar, with their offensive power determined by their test scores in one or all subjects. During a Summoner Test War, you can replenish your scores by taking a recovery test which can either increase or decrease your offensive power. If the class representative's avatar dies during a Summoner Test War, then the other class wins and has the right to exchange equipment with the other. But with low offensive power, Class F will have to fight an uphill battle to nab class A's equipment.

Comments

[The Fan Without a Face]

Not bad, but could use some editing, a little more interaction with the characters perhaps, along with some spacing between paragraphs. Also you mention several other characters in who goes to which class, but some of them aren't mentioned until just then in the story. Best way to fix this would be either to introduce them earlier in the story or not mention them and save their introductions for when they appear in the story itself.

With the Mane 6, might help to introduce them as a group before jumping into the test itself, like a short intro of their goals, who they are and all that good stuff. Doesn't need to be pages of exposition, just enough to give us a sort of quick glimpse into them.

Same with the OC's could use a little more of them, including Nova if he's meant to be the Akihisa of the group, having the teacher just say to his face he's stupid seems a little too out of nowhere, some indication or mention he's dumb, beyond that one problem perhaps.

Also with the class listing, could do that in a different way like this

Class A: Name, Name, Name

Class B:

Etc. Makes it easier to read is all I'm saying.

Not bad, just saying it' looks a little clustered and could use some spacing, along with some additional details and such. Some more character interaction is what I mean. Just providing my thoughts is all.

[Shukawarioserfi]

6827161 Well the lack of character interaction stems from the fact that it's mostly just the test taking place in this chapter, also nopony really knows eachother yet outside of the mane 6. The next chapter will focus exclusively on character development.

[The Fan Without a Face]

6827248

I get that and the character interaction isn't a major thing, though the spacing and way the classes are announced could be altered is all i'm saying.

Mostly just to keep it from looking to cluttered is all.

[Jarvy Jared]

Aside from the grammatical and stylistic errors mentioned by 6827161, this is moving quickly into interesting territory. I look forward to seeing how the story plays out.

[Thunder Quill]

Let's do this Class F!

Edit: Oh, yeah, Thunder's portrayal was pretty much accurate too. That's important...

[Skye Mist]

Looking good so far...
I especially love how Skye reacted, no matter how much it strays from my version of her. Also, her hearing isn't that bad. (32 times, really?)You don't have to change anything though, Skye's personality and disability sometimes changes slightly depending from story to story. (It's not a bad thing, don't listen to my little observations. You don't have to change anything. Don't take that the wrong way.) Okay, now I'm just rambling...

Last thing I'm gonna say: Love it. Keep at it.

[Thunder Quill]

Finally... I can follow this legitimently...

i.imgur.com/FI0wbW0.gif

[Skye Mist]

6831405
Ikr!

[Thunder Quill]

6831430 From one Class F-mate to another, how do you think the year is gonna go?

[Misspegasister_]

YUS this is AWESOME!!!

[Sphinx_Herald]

This shall prove to be interesting.

[Skye Mist]

6831477 One word- hectic

[Thunder Quill]

6832022 True.

[Mix-up]

Great first chapter, I can't wait to start working on the cover art soon. Seeing that there are so many characters to be presented at once I think that the short insight into their personalty that we have is really good to show there different factors are gathering for a big event that will happen soon; god know how funny it will be to read in the future

[BNuts]

Apart from some minor, but still decipherable, grammatical errors, a good start. I'm very much looking forward to seeing how the characters interact. I'll let you know if you start taking Gearhead in an unintended direction, and it'll be up to you what you do with that information. At the moment in my series he happens to be dating Fluttershy. A cross-class pairing with a bigger gap is more entertaining on the classic scale, of course. And I'm sure others have paired their OCs with Fluttershy.

The way I wrote Gearhead originally he's definitely focused more on running Gearhead's Gadgets than on non-magical studies or building relationships. Which sort of makes him similar to Twilight and Moondancer, now that I think about it.

...

He's gonna get 'friended' hard, isn't he?

[NotARock]

I came because you're posted on the Looking for Editors group, and because I like anime. Are you still looking for an editor, because I'd like to edit your story. Even if I don't see your edit, though, I would like to offer you something.

So, this is like Baka and Test, but with ponies. Huh. I don't think anyone's done this before. Best of luck to you!

Welp, before I get started, all of these are my personal opinion, so don't feel like you have to change anything.

My biggest concern with this chapter is the pacing. I love that you're trying hard to introduce every character, but the chapter comes across as an info dump, jumping from pony to pony too rapidly for me to remember any of them. While classrooms are, by nature, places with lots of ponies, you don't need to know all of them from day one. After all, in Baka and Test, the main story focuses on the main characters, and most of the others don't get screentime/only get screentime as a group. In my opinion, there's no need to describe characters you're not going to meet until later in the story, and it takes away from the narrative of the story.

I also think that the chapter could have had been broken down into more scenes. When each separate character takes the test, receives their results, etc., that involves a different situation. In contrast, the meeting between the mane 6 was a single scene, and if they had announced everyone's classes at one place, it would have been a single scene. It's complicated, and I'm not the best at explaining it. I personally think that the writing guide on fimfiction covers section spacing pretty well.

Finally, this isn't quite as much a concern, but sometimes your word choice weakens the story. For instance,

But with low offensive power, Class F will have to fight an uphill battle to nab class A's equipment.

The rest of the paragraph is a cliffhanger tied into exposition, but the word "nab" doesn't have the same tone as the rest of the paragraph.
Another example,

As soon as they called her name (about the 32nd time) Skye Mist stood up and claimed her mail, what she saw was shocking. "I came all this way just to be told I'm stupid! That stupid test is rigged!" She yelled, quite loudly I might add, due to her hearing loss. Security carried her out of the post office. "Did you hear that! That stupid test is rigged!" She yelled, as security carried her out the door.

"To be told" is passive voice, and most people don't use passive voice, especially when they're emotional. Also, you repeat, "she yelled," and "Security carried her out" twice, which is repetitive. Finally, "due to her hearing loss" seems to be out of the blue.

Now that I've gotten the things I disliked out of the way, I'll move on to the things I liked about it.

I really liked the characterizations of the characters. It's a really great beginning, and I'm looking forward to getting to know the characters better.

"Okay, so 6 x 6 is two sixes so that's 66 right?" Said Nova Blaze quietly to himself, trying to figure out this incredibly hard math problem. He jotted down the answer as 66.

Alright, I know it's a little stereotypical (and dumb), but it was funny.

I'm also really interested in the story as a whole. It's an interesting premise, and one you don't see every day on fimfiction. I, for one, am reading the rest of the story.

Welp, that's what I think about the story. I hope you write more good stuff!

TL; DR: Good story, think hard on which characters to introduce and take time introducing them. I'd like to be an editor, if that's alright with you.