Dinky and the Blanks

by GrassAndClouds2

Entering Moonville

The sounds of the other foals faded away almost immediately, but Dinky pressed on.

“Hello?” she called. “Come back! You could get lost!”

She was almost certain she heard a faint giggle from up ahead.

“The Everfree’s dangerous!” called Dinky, hurrying on. There was a narrow path through the trees, and while there wasn’t a whole lot of light – the treetops were very close together – there was enough to see by. Dinky could, occasionally, glimpse the grey-coated foal up ahead. Unfortunately, the pony didn't seem to notice her, and she was fast enough that Dinky was having trouble catching up with her.

She debated hurrying back to the class group. The forest felt creepy, and while she knew that she shouldn’t be a scaredy-pony, she had a bad feeling about continuing into the unknowns of the Everfree. There could be sirens there, or poison joke, or… or anything, really. Dinky's mother had cautioned her a few times about wandering into the Everfree, saying that there were monsters in there that could be dangerous to young foals. And, looking around at the shadows, gloom, and somehow offputting trees, it was easy to believe that those monsters were around every corner.

But if they were, they might get the grey foal, so Dinky again gathered her courage and pressed on.

She wasn’t sure how long she dashed through the forest, but eventually she came to a strange little clearing. The light seemed oddly murky, even moreso than before, and it was hard to tell what was at the other end. “Are you there?" she called, looking around herself.

There was no answer.

Dinky walked into the center of the clearing. There was a path out of the far end, she realized, and a bright light was shining from it. It flickered, and Dinky realized that it looked like the light cast by the lampposts in Ponyville. Maybe she had wandered her way to the edge of the forest and was about to get back into town. She smiled. The grey pony had probably just taken this route as a shortcut or something; now she could follow her into town and say hello.

She entered the path and trotted swiftly down it. “Hello?” she repeated.

The path bent around a small hill and led her directly to a large, brightly lit sign. Beyond it was a bright and merry town, with ponies bustling about. It looked like a giant party was about to get underway – there were tables full to bursting with what looked like delicious treats, huge bowls of punch on little columns, and balloons attached to every possible surface. Dinky couldn’t help but grin as she saw a tall pony dressed in elaborate clown makeup practicing a juggling trick, and another two ponies setting up a stand for a carnival game. A phonograph was playing a popular dance tune, and a few of the older ponies were dancing to it on a big lawn.

Dinky glanced up to the sign. “Welcome,” it read, “To Moonville!”

Dinky looked at the party again, and then felt herself stepping into the village.

It was the biggest party ever.

Dinky had never seen so many sweets in one place, not even at one of Pinkie’s famous parties. Her eyes roved from one to the next. They all looked incredibly delicious, with the same level of care and skill that Bon-Bon put into his recipes. She wondered if it would be okay for her to try one.

“Hello there!”

Dinky turned quickly and found herself looking at a tall, grey stallion with a black mane and warm, kind eyes.

“My name is Grey Hoof. You must be a visitor to our town!” He laughed. “We don’t get many of those, so it’s always a treat!”

“My name is Dinky Doo,” said Dinky, calling to mind her mother’s lessons about how to properly introduce herself to strangers. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

Grey Hoof laughed again. “Sir? Oh, no, my father is ‘sir.’ Please, really, just call me Grey Hoof, Or Grey, or Hoof.” He paused. “Just don’t call me Groof or Hey.” He knelt down, as if telling Dinky a secret. “Because those names are silly.”

Dinky couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, si – Grey Hoof. What’s going on? It looks like a really big party!”

“Why, it’s the anniversary of the day we founded Moonville! And, as per town tradition, we have a celebration to remember all the good things that happened in the past year, and all the great things we hope to happen in the next!” He nodded, almost solemn. “As the town’s premier party planner, I was asked to throw something together. What do you think?”

“It looks really great!” said Dinky.

“Thanks!” Grey Hoof swept a hoof out over the tables. “I wasn’t sure whether to go with the two tables of cupcakes and donuts and just one table for candy, or add a little more candy and a few fewer cupcakes this year, but I think I finally found the right balance.” He nodded sagely. “Do you agree?”

Dinky had to agree that it looked like a good balance between candy and baked goods.

“Oh, Grey Hoof!” A smaller mare ran up. “The magic show booth is just about ready.”

“Splendid!”

"There's magic shows too?" asked Dinky.

"Of course there are! What party would be complete without a little magic?" Grey Hoof swept his hooves around, and out of nowhere, a cupcake appeared on one of them. "It makes things so much more entertaining!"

Dinky recognized the trick -- Trixie had done that one once -- but she liked it anyway, and she clapped her hooves.

"Here's another!" Grey Hoof swept his hooves around a few times. "Look left, look right, and presto!"

Dinky blinked. She suddenly felt a weight on her nose, as if a cupcake had been quietly placed there while she'd been looking elsewhere.

“Feel free to help yourself!” said Grey Hoof as a giggling Dinky thanked him and shook her head to remove the cupcake.

The foal eagerly bit into the cupcake. It was delicious -- moist and sweet, with hints of peanut butter and chocolate. "Yum!"

"It's my own recipe," said Grey Hoof. "Examined by dozen of foal taste-testers, adjusted for maximum deliciousness."

"Baking must be your special talent," said Dinky, finishing up the cupcake in a few bites.

"Special talent?"

"Yep!" But Dinky looked at Grey Hoof's flank, expecting to see a pastry or something like that, only to see a bare coat. "Hey... where's your cutie mark?"

"My what?"

"Cutie mark?"

Grey Hoof looked baffled. "I don't know what that is... there's nothing wrong with not having one, is there?"

"Oh, no, of course not!" Dinky looked at her own flank. "I don't have one either. I just thought that all adult ponies did."

Grey Hoof shrugged, as if it wasn't important. “I'm glad you like the cupcake. Although, between you and me, I think the donuts came out just a bit better this year. You’re staying for the party, I trust? You'll be able to eat all you like!”

Dinky wanted to, but then again, there was the question of time. Looking at the sky, she realized that it was starting to get dark -- she must have been running in the Everfree for longer than she thought. In fact, she was still deep in the Everfree forest, and if she didn't start for home really soon, she wouldn't make it before her mother began to worry. “Oh… I really want to, Grey Hoof, but I can’t.”

Grey Hoof looked genuinely crestfallen.

Dinky tried to reassure him as quickly as she could. “I really want to stay! But my momma’s expecting me home soon. And, uh, I kind of ran away from a class group, and Miss Cherilee’s probably wondering where I am. I’m sorry if you’re mad—“

Grey Hoof waved this off. “No, no. Of course your first duty is to your family. I could hardly justify asking you to ignore all that for a party. I know some families don’t like parties, and that’s their decision.”

“It's not that we don't like parties.” Dinky smiled. “My momma loves parties. She’d probably let me go to this one if I asked her. But she doesn’t know where I am now, and I don’t want her or Miss Cherilee to worry.”

“What a kind young foal you are.” Grey Hoof nodded. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Dinky thanked him and turned to go, but then Grey Hoof said, “Although, I do have an idea...”

“What?”

“Instead of you going back, why don’t we write your mother – and Miss Cherilee – a letter telling them where you are and inviting them to come here? Then they could participate in the party too!” He winked roguishly. “We could even invite a few of your classmates. You see, it seems that I tragically made a few too many cupcakes and brownies for the ponies in Moonville to eat. A few extra foals could take care of that.”

Dinky grinned. It was the perfect solution! Plus, this would be an even better surprise for her mother than the honeysuckle. She knew that her mother had the next day off of work, so maybe they could even stay late! Miss Cherilee would probably also enjoy a nice party, especially as she was always laughing and having fun. As for the other foals, she just knew they'd love being invited to the Moonville party. Maybe they could even make new friends with the Moonville foals.

“Okay, let’s do that!” she cheered.

Grey Hoof helped write down the letters, which Dinky then happily signed and addressed. Hoof then called for another pony, called Starlet. “Could you take these into the town outside the Everfree please? It shouldn’t be a long run, and it would mean a lot to our special guest here.”

"Sure thing, Grey Hoof," said Starlet.

“You can take them by Ruby’s old route,” called Grey Hoof. “That’s the fastest way.”

“Yes, Grey Hoof!” And she trotted off.

Dinky also remembered to ask Grey Hoof if he’d seen the other grey foal, but Grey Hoof said that he hadn’t. “But if I do see her, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

“Thank you.” Dinky figured that the grey pony had just gotten into town ahead of her and slipped by Grey Hoof – it was the only place she could have gone from that clearing. She turned back to the buffet tables. “So… when do we get to start eating the food?” She smiled winningly.

“Well, for us townsfolk, just as the moon rises… maybe in an hour. But for a special visitor from out of town, I will make an exception. You can have something sweet now, as long as you promise not to let it ruin your appetite.” Grey Hoof winked.

Dinky grinned and scampered off towards the buffet tables.

The food was beyond delicious, an overstuffed Dinky noted.

At first, she was going to follow Grey Hoof’s rule that she could have one sweet. And she’d carefully picked out what appeared to be the most delicious chocolate brownie, and, holding it as carefully as she could with her telekinesis, had taken it to a quiet corner to eat.

But it was just so delicious, she had to go back for seconds.

The fudge and the caramel tasted brilliant together. The natural chocolate of the brownie – a dark, almost-but-not-quite bitter taste – complimented both other flavors. And there was a delicious aftertaste that hinted of peppermint. Dinky didn’t know much about making sweets, but she did know, from listening to BonBon and Lyra talk, how much work went into turning a good baker into a great one. Grey Hoof had clearly been putting in that kind of effort.

So Dinky got a second brownie, and then she had to try another one of the cupcakes, and that was so good she had to sample a variety of them. And then she was thirsty, and the punch bowls seemed almost to call her name. And when she had drunk her fill of the perfectly sweet, fruity juice, she saw a stocky mare supervising the unloading of a massive cake onto one of the tables, and so she was off to wait for it to be cut and to beg a slice from the server pony.

Once she’d eaten her fill, she decided to talk to the other ponies in the area. The first to catch her eye was a green-coated mare. She was setting up a large wall of flowers that faced out towards the party area. Dinky trotted over in her direction. “Hello!”

“Hello,” said the mare, turning to look at Dinky.

“Do you need help?” asked Dinky.

“No, everything should be ready by tonight.” The mare stood. “You must be a visitor. I’m Three Leaf.”

“I’m Dinky Doo, Miss Leaf!”

Three Leaf laughed. “Please, just Three Leaf.”

“Those look really pretty,” said Dinky. “Are you a gardener?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m the town’s head gardener.”

The flowers, though simple, had been moved into an elaborate tapestry. “It must have taken a long time for this,” said Dinky.

Three Leaf paused. “Yes, I’ve studied this for… quite a long time now.” It sounded almost sad.

“I meant this, uh, plot.” Was it a ‘plot’ or a ‘garden?’ Sometimes Dinky felt that language was being deliberately confusing.

“Oh! Oh, not really. I only started this morning.” Three Leaf smiled, although Dinky thought it looked a little forced. Like when Miss Cherilee had gotten stuck in a conversation with Miss Berry Punch and hadn’t been able to escape for ten minutes.

“It’s really nice,” Dinky repeated.

“Thank you again. Do you like flowers?”

“My momma does, and sometimes I help her set them up in our home,” said Dinky.

They talked about flowers for a few minutes, even as Three Leaf began resuming her work. Dinky marveled as she continued to plant the flowers without looking at what she was doing – she had to be very skilled. Maybe gardening was her special talent? She looked to see Three Leaf’s cutie mark, but she didn't seem to have one either.

“What is it?” Three Leaf had probably noticed her staring.

“Do you have a cutie mark?"

“What’s a cutie mark?”

“Uh…” Dinky blinked. “The mark on your flank that indicates your special talent. My momma’s is bubbles because she’s got such a bubbly and kind personality!”

Three Leaf smiled. “That sounds very nice, but I’ve never heard of such a thing. I don’t think any of the villagers here have one.”

“Really?” Dinky turned and looked at the other ponies in her field of view. Sure enough, she didn’t see a single cutie mark. So it wasn't just Grey Hoof, then

Three Leaf shrugged, and they quickly resumed talking about different types of pretty flowers. Dinky smiled. Who cared if they didn't have cutie marks? Moonville was a really friendly place!

Comments

[Moonlit Sky]

Very nice. I like how you're adding more character interaction in, rather than the straight adventure plot like the original game was (fetchquests notwithstanding).

One correction though: The Lunaverse uses the name "Ditzy Doo" rather than "Derpy Hooves", so Dinky's last name should fit that.

Edit: Also, you're inconsistent in your spelling of gray/grey. It makes sense to spell Grey Hoof's name like you are spelling it given that that's how it's spelled in the game, but in the description you spell the mysterious foal's color as "gray". I've never quite understood if there's any difference in meaning between the two spellings, but assuming there's not (which is accurate based on my general impressions) it would make sense to keep it spelled one way throughout the whole thing.

[Emeral Bookwise]

Story progresses nicely. Nothing much happening yet, but setup is as important if not more so than the actual action and excitement that follows. Anyway, a few notes for you to consider.

was enough to see by. Dinky could, occasionally, glimpse the gray-coated mare up ahead.
This is the same pony she mistook for a student? Probably should change "mare" to "filly", age matters.

The forest felt creepy, and while she knew that she shouldn’t be a scaredy-pony,
Not really anything you NEED to fix, but while putting on a brave face is good and all, Dinky is smart enough to know that she should have every good reason to be scared in the Everfree. The place ain't natural after all, plus monsters, lots of monsters.

Not an actual critiq, but more sweets than a Pinkie Pie party? NEVER! Clearly the premier party princess of ponyville will have to teach this silly filly a lesson or two.

“My name is Dinky Hooves,”
That would be Dinky Doo, in the Lunaverse her mother is Ditzy Doo, not Derpy Hooves (unless you ask Rainbow Dash).

or add a little more candy and a few cupcakes this year
Maybe I'm not reading right, but shouldn't that be "fewer"?

2) Dinky also remembered to ask Grey Hoof if he’d seen the other grey mare
3) Dinky figured that the grey mare had just gotten into town ahead of her and slipped by Grey Hoof
Twice again, probably should be "filly".

Grey Hoof had clearly been putting in that kind of effort.
Nothing that has to change, but I'd think this thought would provoke Dinky to wonder again why baking isn't his special talent.

“I’m Dinky Hooves, Miss Leaf!”
Last name again.

Who cared if they didn't have cutie marks? Moonville was a really friendly place!
If that's how you want to end the chapter fine. Personally though I would think an entire town of adults with no marks would be incredibly freaky, almost as bad as if they had no faces. Having Dinky acknowledge how unsettling it is might better build the story along it's intended path.

Also shouldn't Dinky at some point wonder why she's never heard of this town when it's so close to Ponyville, even if it is in the Everfree. For that mater shouldn't she find it odd such a town would be built in the first place. All the ponies she knows think the Everyfree is a really scary place.

[GrassAndClouds2]

711893, 712050: Fixed the things with Hooves/Doo, gray/grey, and mare/foal or mare/filly. Also fixed the 'few fewer' thing. Thanks for the corrections.

An entire town of adults without cutie marks might be freaky to some ponies, but then again, it's already been noted that some ponies find Ditzy's eyes freaky. If it were almost any other foal I'd agree with you, but I would think that Dinky has been raised to be exceptionally kind and tolerant -- not just because she's nice, but also because her' mom's the Element of Kindness and instilled those values in her, and also because her mom would also be criticized for being different sometimes and Dinky would know how it hurts her. Or, in other words, Dinky might think 'that's weird,' but then would immediately also think that she shouldn't think badly of other ponies for being a little different, because that's how she was raised.

As for why she's not worried about the town in the first place, I chalk it up to her being a naturally curious foal who is also really happy about an awesome party and so is not inclined to skepticism.

[Emeral Bookwise]

712191
Ah good, well the important thing is that you're putting thought into it.

Personally I'd still think that a major life defining quality like a cutie mark would be a bigger deal than eyes that don't line up quite right Lot's of ponies can have odd physical quirks and disabilities, but so far as Dinky probably knows there is no such thing as an adult without a special talent, let alone a whole town full of them. Also, being polite enough not to mention when something is weird doesn't necessarily preclude thinking about it.

This is after all Dinky Doo were talking about, who as established in Family Matters tends to think about stuff, a lot, and very deeply for a filly her age. Over all you do seem to be capturing a fair amount of that. I just feel that in the case of markless adults and a never before heard of town in a place every pony she knows is scared of would not be the kind of stuff she'd take at face value, no matter how polite or excited she is.