Dinky and the Blanks

by GrassAndClouds2

The Everfree forest

Miss Cherilee had instructed them not to leave the clearing; the unexplored areas of the Everfree could be dangerous, and she and Nurse Redheart couldn’t watch all the students if they spread out too much. But the honeysuckle was just on the far side of a few trees, and Dinky knew that her mother loved honeysuckle. Whenever her mother put together flowers or herbs to make their apartment smell nice, she always made sure to include at least a little. She would love it, Dinky thought, if she came home to that smell.

So Dinky shifted from hoof to hoof, wondering whether it would be okay if she just ran over, picked it, and hurried back. She wouldn’t be going that far, she reasoned. But then again, Cherilee was a really nice teacher, and her mother wouldn’t like if it she learned that Dinky had disobeyed her. On the other hoof, it was so close…

“Class!” Dinky jumped a little, but it was just Cherilee reminding them of their assignment. “Remember to look for all five herbs! The first pony to find them all will win a special prize, and – Scootaloo, come back!”

“Aww,” came the distant comment.

“And please stay close, class. All five herbs can be found in this area. You don’t need to leave the clearing.”

Dinky nodded a little as she glanced in her saddlebag. She had four of the herbs that they were supposed to gather as a ‘thank you’ to Redheart for spending the day talking to them about the plants she used to make medicines for Ponyville. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had said that it was a ‘waste of time’ and that the task was just because ‘that old mare Redheart’s being lazy,’ but Dinky didn’t think so. The more ingredients that Nurse Redheart had, the more likely she’d be able to treat any pony that fell sick, and wasn’t that a good thing?

Although, she thought, she still needed to find a sample of the last herb, the strongweed. She would have to quickly decide whether to go for the honeysuckle or not, then get back to completing the assignment. But she couldn’t make up her mind. Was it worth disobeying Miss Cherilee to make her mother happy?

Then she had an idea, and she smiled. What if she used her telekinesis? She’d been practicing a lot, she could probably extract a little honeysuckle and get it into her saddlebag without having to leave the clearing. Her momma had always said that it was important to be creative and ‘think outside the box,’ and even though Dinky didn’t really understand why one would go into a box to think, she got the basic point of the saying. This was definitely an ‘out of the box’ solution!

So she focused on the honeysuckle. Her horn glowed. The flowers and vines began to shake a little, then float up from the ground, then move…

“Hey, DT, look at this!”

The voice behind Dinky was loud and overpowering. Dinky jumped a little in surprise, and accidentally gripped hard with her telekinesis. The honeysuckle she was holding smashed in upon itself.

“Hey!” said Dinky. She looked sadly at the mass of vines and flowers – now dead, and thus not able to produce any sort of sweet smell – and then looked behind her to see a grinning Silver Spoon.

“Nice magic, blank flank,” drawled Silver Spoon. Behind her, Diamond Tiara trotted over from the river that split the clearing into two halves. Silver pointed a hoof at Dinky. “Guess her telekinesis still isn’t working quite right.”

“Oh, don’t’ worry, Dinky,” said Diamond Tiara. “I’m sure you’ll get it eventually. You know, like you’ll get your cutie mark eventually.”

“When you’re as old as Granny Smith!” laughed Silver Spoon.

Dinky looked away, more upset than she wanted to show. She’d never done anything to either of them; why did they act so mean to her? Her mother said that it didn’t matter, and that if she was just kind to them they’d come around eventually. But eventually usually met a long time, and she didn’t want to wait that long for the two foals to be a little nicer to her.

Diamond Tiara then asked, “So, Silver Spoon, how are you doing with the herbs?”

“I got the first three,” she said. “Enough for two ponies.” And she grinned.

“Ooh, I got the last two. Let’s share. Guess we win the prize. I hear that it’s BonBon’s chocolate.”

“Hey!” said Dinky, still rather annoyed at the two. Her stomach grumbled at the thought of the chocolate. “Miss Cherilee said we’re supposed to find and pick them on our own.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t tattle on us, would you, Dinky-Winky?” asked Silver Spoon. She grinned. “Come on, DT. Let’s go show Miss Cherilee how great we are.” And they walked off.

Dinky sighed, looking at the ruined honeysuckle for a long moment before turning around. She still had to find the strongweed. Nurse Redheart had said that it was usually found on the north side of rocks in shady areas, so the big boulder by the oak trees and the north side of the clearing seemed like a good place to look.

“I’m pleased that all of you were able to find all of the herbs,” said Miss Cherilee. “Now Nurse Redheart can turn them into medicines that will benefit our town of Ponyville!”

Dinky clacked her hooves on the ground a few times, though none of the other foals did. Snips and Snails were noisily whispering about something, and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were murmuring secretively. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were up front, beaming and munching candy. Dinky, as usual, was left without a partner.

It wasn’t that she had no friends, Dinky thought. She did, and she knew it was wrong to act like she didn’t. She could always find a fellow foal to eat with at lunch, or to go play in the parks or playgrounds of Ponyville. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were even willing to let Dinky tag along with them on their various adventures (although Dinky found Scootaloo’s method of transport to be a bit fast for her tastes). But she didn’t have a best friend, and she felt like she was the only pony in the class without one.

After all, if Dinky had to guess, she would say that the other ponies had probably all helped each other on the assignment. The heartroot pieces that Snips and Snails had turned in were obviously one heartroot that had been cut in half. She'd seen Sunny Days and Peachy Pie whispering too, although they at least seemed to have just given each other advice and not actually broken the rules by sharing their samples. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had probably helped each other as well; they usually did. Dinky didn’t want to cheat – that was wrong, and her mother would have been very disappointed in her had she done so – but she still found herself wishing that there was another pony who might have offered to help her. That would have been nice.

“Alright, class. Stay close behind me and Nurse Redheart as we return to Ponyville!” said Miss Cherilee. “It’s past our usual dismissal time, so I think that, once we get back into town, I’ll release you for the day.” A few of the foals cheered at that. “Just write a one-page report on what you learned today, due first thing Friday.” Dinky joined the chorus of groans. Cherilee didn’t seem to notice any of this. “Let’s head home!”

Dinky rebuked herself as she fell into the back of the line. She knew, after all, that she had a lot to be grateful about. She had the absolute best mother in the world, a roof over her head, and food on the table at every meal. She was healthy and, according to her mother and Miss Cherilee, smart for her age. She even had a job with Miss Fluttershy, helping take care of her animals for three bits a week (and the occasional piece of candy). It was wrong for her to be upset about not having a best friend when there were so many ponies that had less than she did. She would make more friends soon enough if she just kept trying.

Scootaloo, the pony directly in front of her, laughed at some joke that Sweetie Belle had just made. “Alright!” she said. “Let’s grab the scooter once we get back to town and zip over to the farm. See if Applebloom’s got time to hang out with us today. There’s three harnesses and a whole lot of rope!”

Maybe trying now would help. Whatever those two were doing sure sounded interesting to Dinky. The purple foal smiled and trotted a bit faster. “Hey, Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle?”

“Oh, hey Dinky,” said Scootaloo. “What’s up?”

“What’re you doing later?”

“Going ziplining with Sweetie and Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo grinned. “We’ve got his big rope, and we’re gonna go zooming down it way fast and land in a huge pile of hay! We’ll be as fast as Rainbow Dash!” She paused. “Uh, almost.”

Sweetie giggled.

Dinky smiled, but she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go ‘ziplining.’ It sounded fun, but also a little scary. “That sounds really cool,” she managed.

“Yeah! It’ll work a lot better than last time!”

Uh oh. “What happened last time?”

Sweetie frowned. “The rope sagged and we got stuck in the middle. Then it broke and we fell down into a big mud puddle.” She looked at her left front leg, which was still a bit bruised.

“Don’t worry,” said Scootaloo, grinning. “This time we’ll tie the rope tighter. 'Sides, Apple Bloom's good with tools; if she's helping us set up this time, it'll work for sure! Wanna come with, Dinky? We can make you another harness.”

Dinky thought of herself crashing into the ground, and winced. “Um, no. That’s okay. I should really get home so that Momma doesn’t wonder where I am.”

Scootaloo shrugged. “Alright. You’re missing out, though. But after we finish ziplining, Sweetie and I'll be making more ice cream. Do you want any?”

Their last attempt at ice cream making had resulted in a vaguely dairy-like substance with the texture and taste of dried glue. “No thank you,” said Dinky.

“Your loss,” chirped Scootaloo.

Dinky walked in silence for the next few minutes as the group continued to make their way out of the Everfree. Maybe she could talk to Snips and Snails. They were hard to talk to sometimes, but most of the things they did were at least kind of fun. They usually ended up digging for weird grubs or bugs in various places around the town, and Dinky, as a normal foal, was amused and intrigued by this. Or she could try Archer, who was usually pretty cool or –

A flash of gray caught her eye.

Frowning, Dinky turned to the right, just in time to see a pony go zipping off into the trees. Dinky didn’t recognize the gray-coated pony. Was she a new student that she’d happened to miss? It was possible, Dinky concluded. But if it were true, then the new student was about to wander off into the Everfree.

“Miss Cherilee!” called Dinky. But Cherilee was at the front of the line, and between Dinky and her were the loudly-chattering Snips and Snails. Cherilee didn’t seem to hear her.

“Miss Cherilee! Miss Cherilee!” But she was too far away, and the gray pony had already run out of sight. Maybe she should just hurry after her and tell her to get back in line or she might get lost. The Everfree could be scary, she knew; her mother had told her about her time there with her friends as she struggled to find the Elements of Harmony. There were all kinds of monsters and even mean plants that could hurt an unwary foal. Finding the new student and helping her would be the right thing to do. The friendly thing to do.

And it was what her mother would do, Dinky thought. Her mother, Ditzy Doo, was the kindest pony ever. She’d always help a foal who was wandering into the Everfree forest.

Dinky nodded to herself, and then hurried after the gray pony.

Comments

[GrassAndClouds2]

And here we go!

I wanted to have a scene with Cherilee explaining why she was taking the foals into the Everfree in the first place (short version: they're always wandering in anyway {see: any CMC episode, Cutie Pox, and also Boast Busters with Snips/Snails}, so she wants to at least show them safe areas and paths in it so they don't get hurt. Plus, she likes practical lessons like this one), but I couldn't think of a good reason to explain it to Dinky. Ah well.

Dinky's in for a bit of a long adventure, but don't worry -- she's going to get to attend an awesome party beforehand. :-)

[Emeral Bookwise]

Off to a fairly good start. Despite what I've said else were may sugest, I really am interested to see what you make of this spin on SotB. That said I do have a few things I'd like to say about what you've written so far.

Personal opinion, but not really sure I can see Silver Spoon addressing her friend as "DT", it just sounds so tacky. I prefer "Tiara" as the short address for the entitled daddy's little princess, sounds classier. Like I said though, personal preference.

“I’m sure you’ll get it eventually. You know, like you’ll get your cutie mark eventually.”
Not strictly necessary, but I think the insult of these two sentences would read better if the second "eventually" was italicized, underlined, or in some other way stressed for emphasis.

Dinky getting upset at Silver and Tiara for splitting the workload doesn't seem right. It really was a smart plan on their part. Furthermore it seems odd that it would even be "cheating" in the first place. In my experience, for class projects like this the children are usually divided into teams anyway, for safety reasons if nothing else, buddy system and all that.

Maybe mention Sunny Days and Peachy Pie as another pair of friends working together on the project.

Dinky musing about her lack of a best friend is final and all, but in consideration of the buddy system for class fieldtrips, it would probably make more sense to have her be teamed with someone for the project. Maybe an uncooperative Apple Bloom. This could further make the point you're trying to get at, by showing them not getting along all that well. Everyone else gets to partner with someone they really like, but Dinky gets stuck with Apple Bloom. Could also make for some nice opportunities to drop some allusions to the original SotB, since AB was the star of that.

Personally I prefer Dinky as the kind of student who, while she may not be happy to get extra work, is still generally enthusiastic enough about learning that she wouldn't be the type to join in groaning about it. Again though, just personal opinion.

Others have said it before me, but I do tend to prefer the idea that in the Lunaverse Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle never hooked up with Apple Bloom to form the CMCs.

[GrassAndClouds2]

703529: Cherilee is okay with the other students giving each other hints, but she didn't want them literally handing each other samples of the plants that the other pony never even saw growing, which is what Dinky saw the two rich foals doing. The problem with that is that there is educational value in finding the plants for oneself and seeing them in their natural environment, which one doesn't really get if they split the work like that (e.g., Silver Spoon never saw the strongweed in the ground, nor did she go through the process of picking it without crushing or ripping it, so she didn't learn as much as Dinky, who went through the whole process). As for why Dinky's annoyed, she strikes me as a pony who was raised to be very against-cheating, so she's unhappy when she sees other foals get away with it. I edited the paragraph discussing everyone helping each other to make this a little more clear.

Apple Bloom I'm treating as not a CMC, but a friend of SB and Scootaloo who occasionally does stuff with them. That's why she doesn't appear in any of the conversations between the two -- they tend to decide things for themselves, and then, if it's convenient, ask her to tag along (like they asked Dinky here, and like, offscreen, they'll be asking a few other foals). I edited to make this more clear (particularly when discussing ice cream; Scootaloo only mentions SB and not AB as helping now). I didn't want to make AB openly hostile to Dinky because I'm trying to get away from her image as a total jerk, which seems to be a lot of people's perceptions of her in the L-verse. L-verse Apple Bloom's not mean. Applejack, maybe, but not AB. :-)

I added the notes about Sunny and Peachy; thanks for that idea.

[Emeral Bookwise]

703604
Glad I could contribute something.

One final note about foals teaming up in pairs though, I know it loses educational value if they split up and find the items separately, as well as defeating the point of the buddy system in the first place. Dinky could be upset about them cheating in that way, or maybe show them tricking say Snips and Snails into handing over some herbs they couldn't find (as I'm not sure I can see Tiara and Silver actually splitting up to search), but I really do think that there should be an expected team effort in place. This is after all the Everfree, and even with Cheerilee and Red Heart supervising, the kids shouldn't be wandering about without at least someone close at side. As for Dinky, if not AB (you're right that she doesn't need more help coming across as a bad kid), maybe partner her with Truffle Shuffle, who keeps munching on their finds or something. Alternatively, have there be an odd number of students, leaving dinky stuck playing third wheel to one of the pairs.

As for AB and the CMC, might want to consider making it more clear, maybe by having her on the field trip and paired with Twist. Could also maybe have Scoots mention that they are inviting AB so they can use the tall trees of Sweet Apple Acres. Alternatively have the previous zipp-lining incident have been just Sweety and Scoots, and they are asking for AB's help because they've heard she's good with tools and can so hopefully avoid a repeat of the fall.

Anyway, sorry if all this keeps coming across as me being overly critical, or trying to force my views on your story. I fully respect your right to tell this story anyway you see fit, I'm actually avoiding criticizing the stuff that is obviously essential to the basic premise. I just feel it would be remiss of me not to point out what are to me at least obvious ways that the more minor details could make it even better.

[GrassAndClouds2]

703753: I like the idea of AB being involved in the plan specifically to help with tool stuff so that they don't fall again, so I added it. I agree, it helps indicate that she's friends with them, but not, like CMC-close friends.

I appreciate the feedback. It's useful to have another set of eyes examining it.

[FireFlash13231]

dafuq did i just read

[DreadedCandiru2]

703604
I don't see L!Applejack as being especially hostile either. The way I look at it, most of her defensiveness seems to stem from the unexpressed and unexpressable fear that her family's origins aren't exactly respectable. If I'm right, that means that she not only respects Ditzy's beyond-strong work ethic, she might regard being whatever seduced Castor Cut as being higher on the food chain than nomads who squatted their way into being given a town and then a stranglehold on the apple supply.

Apple Bloom, on the other hand, probably suffers from parent envy. She's more or less the same foal in both paradigms and thus must have the same vague resentment of ponies who have mommies and daddies.

[ShiroKusakabe]

what is lunaverse?

[GrassAndClouds2]

705376: I was joking (at least a little, :-) ). But I don't think she's ashamed of her origins. She seems to have a very high view of her and the Apple Family's importance in town, which can be a bit offputting.

705521: See here. Short version, it's an open-universe AU in which Celestia went evil instead of Luna. The Elements are different (Trixie is Magic, Ditzy is Kindness, Cherilee is Laughter, etc.), and other things developed differently too.

[DreadedCandiru2]

705583
Perhaps overly high. From what I saw in Longest Night, Longest Day, she seems to be under the misapprehension that their monopoly is a necessity without which the world would collapse.

[AlgaeNymph]

When I first played Story of the Blanks I thought Ruby resembled Ditzy, what with the blond mane and grey coat.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Well, good start here. I've played the game, kinda creeped out but not too badly.

[Starlight Nova]

If Dinky were voiced, what would she sound like?