Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home

Retribution (Fancy Pants): The Cabal

“Mr. Train Wreck.” Fancy Pants nodded stiffly.

“Nancy Pants.” The monster smirked in return.

“It’s ‘Fancy’ Pants if you don’t mind, sir,” the unicorn said stiffly.

“I know your name.” Train Wreck rolled his eyes. “I was being insulting, specifically I was questioning your masculinity.”

“I see,” the unicorn replied looking at the giant burn-victim with clear disdain, “I’ll be rather direct than. I don’t like you, Mr. Train Wreck.”

“Like I care what a dirty foal-napper thinks of me.” Train Wreck’s mandibles clicked audibly. “Of course you’ll never see court I’m sure. You and your kind never play by the same rules as the rest of us.”

“As if you play by rules at all.” Fancy snorted with disdain.

“”You’ve got some nerve!” The monster stamped the floor, rattling the room. “You send in the lunar guard to abduct Carrot Plate, and bust up my sister…”

“I’m sorry your herd mate was injured, Mr. Train Wreck, but…” the unicorn started only to be interrupted.

“Shut. Up.” The monster's face bisected as his snakes emerged snapping angrily. “It wasn’t bad enough that you had to bust up my family! You and your dirty little cabal have had us blacklisted! You sent a school board official to my daughter’s school to insult her and expel her in front of her class! You are sick! You are ugly! You are a vile little worm of a pony, MISTER Fancy Pants, and were I even half the monster you and yours paint me up to be I would break you. Gods in hell, I want to break you right now.”

“”I- I don’t know what you mean sir,” Fancy Pants stammered, lost between confusion, concern, and fair amount of quite justified fear, “I’ll have you remember I was in Manehattan for the past few days assuring the safety of…”

“Just get out.” The creature turned and stalked out of the room. Faced with the stern glares and wall of silence of the remaining Pastel family Fancy Pants deflated somewhat and quietly exited.

-=-=-=-=-

Fancy Pants walked through Decanter back towards Upper Canterlot in dishevelled dismay. He had not been expected to be greeted as a friend by the lawless stallion that was known as Train Wreck, but it had in fact been largely a misunderstanding and he had believed it could be handled civilly at least. A part of him, a large part in fact, wanted to simply write off the entire exchange to the brutes failure to behave in a civilized fashion. But the accusations were not of the “you’re out to get me” variety. They were very specific and very personal. Most troubling was the accusation involving the youngest pastel being publicly humiliated and pulled out of school.

He had signed on with this plan to restore the rule of law. No pony was above the law. He believed that to his very core. But if what the stallion claimed was true (and he had no real reason to lie about it) then his peers had clearly overstepped that goal and things had gotten quite out of hoof while he was away with his wife dealing with the whole fiasco surrounding Miss Plate.

That, in and of itself bothered him deeply. Miss Plate herself was firmly of the opinion that he and his peers had abducted her against her will from what she insisted was a safe, and indeed, very healthy family environment. Her accounts of the daily lives of the Pastel were very much contrary to the generally believed rumours of the “Monster Harem” that floated around Upper Canterlot. He had begun to reassess his thinking on this matter when he found his thoughts quite suddenly interrupted by a diminutive umbrum mare flittering angrily in front of him.

“You nobles should be ashamed!” The tiny mare seethed with rage. “After everything the Train Wreck has done for us here in Decanter you filthy animals just ride down from your mansions and destroy his family’s lives! And hurting an innocent filly! One of my own students! Just to put us commoners in our place? You nobles are scum! You may call the Pastels monsters, but they’re better ponies than you parasites will ever be!”

“M- madame, please,” Fancy pleaded politely, but was interrupted by a voice from an angry crowd that had begun to form.

“Where were you and and your attack dogs in the royal guard during the circus?!” A harsh voice accused, drawing calls of assent.

“I bet they’re the ones who sent that guard to burn down the bakery!” Another voice called out angrily. “You know the lot got foreclosed by one of their big Upper Canterlot banks!”

“And they raised the rent on all of us down here in Decanter, too! Said it was insurance!” A third angry voice rang out, as Fancy felt a moist thump against the back of his head.

Fancy Pants barely had time to register that they were pelting him with rotten fruit as he gallopped through the streets. It was unthinkable! He went above and beyond to maintain his reputation with the common ponies. As he fled back to the safety of his own luxurious home, he wondered what had happened in the scant days he had been gone to cause the situation to deteriorate so completely.

-=-=-=-=-

“You’ve gone too far!” Fancy Pants addressed the assembled nobles coldly.

“The beast is still in Canterlot,” Sneered Gold Brick, “I’d say that means we haven’t gone far enough yet.”

“Fancy is right!” Civil Doctrine interjected, “You had the family’s daughter thrown out of school!”

“Gives the brute something to think about next time he thinks he can rattle his betters, I say,” Upper Crust chuckled wickedly.

“Or it gives him every motivation to turn his ire against us directly.” Fancy Pants brought his hoof to the table with a resounding thud. “Not to mention enraging public sympathy against ourselves.”

“Oh, spare us your dire warnings that the peasants are revolting,” Gold Brick rolled his eyes with disdain. “We’re finally getting treated with the respect we’re due! Seeing that damned biped cow drop his gripe-list the royal court alone makes the whole thing worth it.”

“You fool!” Fancy nearly spat the words as he glared at his peer. “Rock Solid knew exactly what he was doing! Train Wreck Pastel may be a lawless brute, but in that neighborhood he’s a hero. Solid has his own agenda, and we have handed him a martyr for his cause.”

“What do you propose we do about it?” Upper Crust grumbled.

“For starters, we stop acting like lawless hooligans ourselves.” Fancy asserted himself boldly before his peers. “We stop blacklisting his family, and we withdraw the objections to his daughter attending school.”

“One does not simply ‘call off’ a black list, Fancy Pants,” Upper crust spoke up, “Getting his daughter back in school is an easier prospect, but by no means assured. We’ve set the wheels of the bureaucracy in motion, they don’t stop moving quickly.”

“At any rate, we may well all have larger problems,” Civil Doctrine said in a measured tone, “This Train Wreck is a simple brute. Rock Solid is a thornier problem but one we understand. This John Smith… he is an unknown, and he is playing directly against the royal family themselves it seems. We should have left Golden Plate to the monster, we all know it was no worse than he deserved. We’ve spread ourselves thin failing to make an example out of an obvious beast, and left ourselves open to a far greater threat, I fear.”

The cabal of nobles sat in silence as they contemplated their next moves.

Comments

[Not so New Brony]

You may call the pastels monsters

Pastels.

As Civil Doctrine said, the nobles stretched themselves thin dealing with perceived problems that was caused public opinion to decline for them. If one neighbourhood is affected then their neighbours are bound to hear of it as well so even if the 'attacks' stop, the public would only see it as the nobility retreating instead of making amends.

And with John Smith 'reaching' out to the lunar pegasi, I wouldn't be surprised if he learns of the nobles' actions against the Pastel family and the rest of neighbourhood. Which could serve as fuel for John Smith if he intends to paint the princesses as individuals who've made one mistake after another now that I think about it.

[No one is home]

7390555 I have no idea what Alzrius' intentions with his villainous John Smith are to be honest, but I doubt they would ever directly involve the Pastels, though they will likely have to deal with the fallout. They're fairly low power players in this game. The Pastels are pretty much devoid of money and influence, and make very dangerous victims (Train Wreck is unstoppable, Diane is Psychotic, Z is dangerously insane herself, and Surprise is Pinkie Pie with a big dose of PTSD), so they're not exactly ideal targets. I think Fancy Pants is still the only noble to realize, "We have wrongfully enraged a family of monsters."

Canterlot is facing crimes that the pony world doesn't even have words for. "Okay, changeling army, we got this... wait, rape Circuses and economic destabilization... what again?" "It's a rave and a pyramid sceme." "And you have actual words for this? Like casual words?!?!"

[Boulder]

“I’m sorry your herd mate was injures, Mr. Train Wreck, but…” the unicorn started only to be interrupted.

injured

“You nobles should be ashame!”

ashamed

You may call the pastels monsters, but they’re better ponies than you parasites will ever be!”

Pastels

“You know the lot got foreclosed by one ? their big Upper Canterlot banks!”

? = of

We should have left Golden plate to the monster, we all know it was no worse than he deserved.

Plate

We’re finally getting treated with the respect we’re due!

Yeah, getting pelted with rotten food is what you deserve alright.

[No one is home]

7433581 I actually felt bad for Fancy Pants in this chapter. He was the one amongst the nobles who realized he'd made a mistake and tried to make it right. As a result he recieved the brunt of the ire that mostly should have been his peers, who hid in their mansions and patted themselves on the back at how clever they were.

[Autumn Maize]

“Where were you and and your attack dogs in the royal guard during the circus?!”

Double "and" there, although this could be in-character due to rage making it hard to speak coherent Pony English.

Sneered Gold Brick

Double space there.