Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home

Madame Alias' Fantastic Pandemonium of Wonders (Train Wreck): The Final Face of Iam Noone

“Train Wreck you're alive!” Diane tried to fly up to her guardians face-level, but winced as she discovered her broken wing.

“Diane, honey,” Train wreck tried to keep his voice even as his lower mandibles clicked in agitation, “Go back that way and find Princess Change, she’ll get you to a hospital and let Surprise know you’re okay. I don’t want you to see this.”

The little filly looked like she was going to argue, but then saw the looked on the giants face and raced off without a word, as quickly as her injuries would allow.

“How many times do I have to kill you? I mean honestly, Whatserface, dear, you know I love you but this is definitely going to show up in your monthly employee review.” The changeling queen laughed at her own little joke, the turned back to her monstrous opponent. “And look at you! Did Discord feel like he had to overcompensate much? I know his first choice turned out badly, believe me darling, but… wow, you know sometimes more really is less.”

“You hurt Diane,” Train Wreck scraped a single hoof along the ground.

“You really have no idea do you?” the Nopony laughed cheerfully, “You don’t even know who I am, do you? Of course you don’t, you’re just the cheap replacement they brought in after what happened to poor Charlie when he thought HE could put me in my place. Ever wonder why that pretty, green little wife of yours starts crying when she accidentally calls you ‘Charlie’ in bed? My fault! Ever wonder why your ‘daughter’ insists on calling you ‘Uncle’? It’s because ‘Daddy’ is what I made her call me when I…”

The snakes struck almost without thought, snatching the evil changeling up and smashing him into his diabolical brewing contraptions with a sickening crack. The nopony spit blood and smiled broadly. “There it is! I knew you had to have it in there some-where! Even a pale copy like you can’t keep all that psychotic rage bottled up forever! Did your precious little Diane ever tell you what happened to her real mother? She has to have guessed by now. She’s stolen enough memories out of Charlie’s dream!”

Changeling drones chittered in agitation, drawing a snarled response from the Nopony. “Oh shut up, already! You’ll have to excuse them, they lose focus when their queen is all busted up. Not me obviously. I’m more of a ‘drag queen’ really.”

The Nopony gave a nasty laugh as he climbed to his hooves, and flashed into the form of a breeder-caste changeling dressed in a ridiculous purple suit. “I’ll let you in on a little secret… shhh, don’t tell! Whatserface, dear. Come on, you can get up! I’ve got a hit of the good stuff here for you!”

The broken and battered mare crawled weakly onto her hooves. She staggered over to the Nopony expectantly as he dangled a vial of pinkish liquid in from of her. Nopony for his part, never took his eyes off of Train Wreck. “You’re a human. You know how it is on our world. You’ve heard of mothers who would sell their daughter on the street for a fix. Train Wreck, meet Madame Butterfly. Madame Butterfly, meet Train Wreck. He’s the nice monster who's been looking out for your daughter while you’ve been turning tricks for me.”

“You call me a monster?” Train Wreck staggered back in disbelief. “What are you?” His outer snakes struck again, wrapping around the Nopony’s neck and sinking their fangs deep into his chitinous flesh. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?!?”

Magical energy rippled through the tendrils and into the giant, who began to take on an eerie blue glow. Nopony’s form wavered without the magic to sustain it, he shifted and twisted, laughing like a fool possessed by hell, which perhaps is what he was. “You think you can stop me? She’s the strong one… the one who pulls your strings.” His form melted from a changeling into a dirt colored earth pony. “What was your endgame? Were you going to kill me? I can promise that never sticks!” Train Wreck continued to suck away magic determined to get past the lies, to know the true identity of this devil. The earth pony melted into a laughing blue tazzle pony with a red mane. It’s tendrils made no show of resistance, instead making a facsimile of an obscene gesture. “Come on big guy you're almost there!” one last time the form of the nopony melted and Train Wreck released his grip in shocked horror.

“Bet you didn’t see this coming, did ya?” A lanky, tan-skinned, mohawked human man grinned back at the monster. “Time travel is a bitch ain’t it. Do me a favor and tell the Dianes Charlie said ‘hi’. And keep on keeping my bed warm until I come back, big guy.”

With a grin the human fell sideways out of time. The ruined changeling that was once Madame Butterfly desperately licked at the dirt and the broken glass where the vial had shattered. The changeling drones wandered about in confusion, some trying to nurture and support their broken queen, others simply wandering in circles or weeping quietly. Train Wreck Pastel, the unbreakable cupcake monster of Just Deserts just sat in silence barely daring to breath.

Author's Note:

And that’s the end of the circus folks. I hope you enjoyed the show. In the upcoming days we have aftermath chapters to deal with, and the 4th of July Holiday, which in Kiberia means super-fun holiday special chapter!

Comments

[Not so New Brony]

Dianes Charlie

Diane's

So Nopony was just a persona for a soul gone mad...but didn't Diane's Charlie die in that crash? Wait, so Nopony took over a corpse? Or.... I think I'll stop before I give myself a headache.

[No one is home]

7352889 Yes, he did die in that crash and so did HIS Diane. Now he gets to sit in a jar and take Nefertari's abuse till he remembers to fall out of time again. After they thought they had escaped the Dream, Diane DID say in her diary that she was afraid she had brought the Nopony with her. This worlds Diane stole her memories from Charlies dreams during the time warp.

[Boulder]

My head trying to follow this!
media.giphy.com/media/etFuv7gSr8OJy/giphy.gif

[No one is home]

7352981 Eeyup. I don't even think the goat saw that one coming... although there were hints. This is gonna make things awkward around the old Pastel dinner table...

[David Silver]

they’re broken queen, - their broken queen,

[No one is home]

7364846 Them damn "they's". In my defense, "The South".