Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home

The Cards We're Dealt (Starlight Glimmer): The Six of Death

“One hundred and fifty bits, no less,” the light brown earth pony mare behind the bar stood firm, shutting down any haggling before it could even properly begin.

“At that price, the Blind Goat better live up to his reputation,” Starlight Glimmer scowled as she counted out the bits from her saddle bag.

“You’d do best to pay my son the respect he’s due,” the mare scowled.

“You’re son?” the unicorn raised an eyebrow, “I thought he was a goat? Is the name symbolic?”

“My husband and I have raised William since he was a kid,” the mare sighed sadly, “He lost his parents to a runaway carriage. His mother used to read the cards, and his father worked the bar. He’s a son to us in all but name, but that’ll change soon enough if our daughter has her way.”

“I see,” Starlight smiled warmly, “I didn’t mean any disrespect. Everyone I’ve asked has said that when it comes to divination, he’s the best that can be found. To be fair, I had heard the price was steep.”

“Oh they weren’t talking about the price that you pay in bits,” the earth pony smiled knowingly, “Just follow that hall around till you get to the stairs. Knock three times on the door to your right, tell him Caramel Apple sent you.”

-=-=-=-

The goat lazily sipped a bottle of bitter ale, letting the taste roll in his mouth, while he waited for the wicked unicorn. He scowled a bit in impatience when there were two knocks, followed a moment later by a third.

“Candy Apple sent me,” a mare’s voice floated through the thick door, prompting the goat to rise and undo the latch that guarded his privacy.

After moment of waiting it became clear that the mare expected him to open the door for her, so he bleated roughly, “Come in.”

The pinkish blur of a unicorn didn’t look like the force of evil the voices in the walls whispered about so nervously, and yet, as she entered the voices retreated into a frightened silence, causing the goat to raise an eyebrow.

Without preamble the goat pulled forth a card from his velvet pouch and laid it on the table, gesturing for his guest to be seated. The card’s backing revealed a lush meadow, bisected by a bubbling brook. An apple floated in the sky like the sun and the card’s border was gilded in gold foil.

“It is you’re choice to turn the card,” the goat sipped his ale, speaking without bothering to look at the mare before him, “Turn the card by hoof. Do NOT touch any of my cards with your magic.”

“Hello, I’m…” the blurry mare started only to be immediately cut off.

“Your name doesn’t matter to me,” the goat waved a hoof dismissively, “Those who change the course of time are the merely the tools of destiny... or it’s victims.”

The mare opened her mouth a moment in disbelief, closed it again and took the offered seat. She then impatiently flipped the card in front of her with a little snort of indignation.

The card portrayed an old mare, with a greying, pale pink coat and a tangled white mane and tail. Her eyes shone with tears, perhaps of anger, perhaps of sorrow. Her expression was strong, resolute, and unreadable. She stood in a blasted wasteland surrounded by the skulls of six ponies. Overhead a cruelly smiling sun shone down mercilessly, while seven vultures circled in the sky.

“The Six of Death,” the goat intoned without emotion, “A fallen spiritual leader, betrayed by willpower and led down the path of guilt into the valley of death.”

“You have no right to judge me,” the angry pink mare stamped a fore hoof against the wooden table.

“I pass no judgements,” the goat shook his head slowly, “And you asked the card to judge you when you chose to turn it. Surrender to your enemy and regain what was lost, or yield unto temptation and be the destroyer of the world. I merely read the card. I do not set the price. I do not select your path.”

“Then I’ll just turn it back,” the angry mare’s grin dripped with arrogance as she flipped the card back over with her magic. A sudden gasp escaped her lips. The meadow had become a desert wasteland. The brook flowed black with putrid silt. Worst yet, the apple was shining with rot, and withered into the shape of a pony’s skull.

“You were warned not to touch the card with magic,” the goat hastily pulled the card back into it’s bag with a cloven hoof, “You will face the valley of death, only then will your pride allow your surrender. Your defeat will be complete. You will only regain what you’ve lost in the service of your enemy. This is your price and it will be paid.”

“Do you take me for some superstitious fool?” the angry mare, “Do you think I’m stupid enough to not see what you’re doing? Trick cards to make a pony think they’re cursed. Then you, or the old mare upstairs offers some kind of ward or trinket for even more bits! I demand a refund! I’ll report you to the guard, con-pony!”

The goat reached into his pouch and drew a card, his unfocused eyes only glancing at it’s face for the barest of moments before it was quickly returned to it’s resting place. The goat chuckled mirthlessly, “I see you’ve already made a trade with The Warden of Persuasion. By all means, take this before Celestia’s Court. Better yet, you could seek intervention from the Princess of Friendship. I’m sure she would be happy to intercede. At any rate, good evening and good bye. I have spent enough time in the company of death for one evening.”

The goat casually reached for another bottle of ale as the angry unicorn slammed the door behind her.

Author's Note:

Another pony tempts fate and deals with the Blind Goat. This was a fun chapter to write. I started it with the card description this time and wrote the rest of the story around that. Today's vision of doom was brought to you again by Chaotic Shiny, for all your text-based random shit. The original card read:

The Six of Death
The card depicts a tall, strong old woman and a skull in a courtyard. It is associated with guilt, a betrayal, and willpower. Inverted, it represents a certain religious figure, psychic abilities, a fight, and a fall. The card has gilding on the picture. The back is dark brown with a fruit and a river.

Comments

[Dravkwn]

She then impatiently flipped the card in from of her with a little snort of indignation.

Is that how the cool kids are spelling nowadays?

[No one is home]

7172414 I barely speak one language. Candy's kids troll me in fluent as hell Spanish and Swahili because they think it's so funny I only speak one language that bad. I'ma fix it.

[No one is home]

7178785 And how many dreams are nested at this point? Stackin' em like those weird Russian dolls.